Dinner

I had Spaghettios for dinner, the lentils weren't thawed yet and I didn't want to "fool" with them in the microwave.  I will eat the lentils tomorrow for dinner. 

I ate the pasta straight out of the can, with a lot of salt added. Remember I need a lot of salt in my diet because the lithium makes me lose salt.  They also get along well with my medication. 

A few minutes after eating, I felt a "hole" - I wanted a snack.  I thought about the produce box and went down the list in my head.  I decided I wanted a blood orange. 

I first got blood oranges out of my other produce box, the one I had 20 years ago.  They look disturbing but have a good flavor.  They are also, as I found, pretty easy to peel.  When I was a teenager my stepmother used to buy oranges that had a thick, impossible, rind.  I hated peeling them. 

But my dessert was easy to peel.  I left some white on it because that has bioflavonoids, and they are very good for you.  Good eating, just the right amount of juice.  Not so much it was squirting all over me, not dry either.  I will buy more. 

That's one thing I hope to do with the produce box, try things, and buy more at my local store if interested.  And, most importantly, getting into the habit of eating fruit for a snack, and vegetables with every meal. 

A nice bonus: the house smells like oranges from the essential oil in the rind.  My hands smell lovely, too. 

Ron made some mistakes making tomorrow's trip, so he will have to call tonight to fix it.  Otherwise he won't be seeing his doctor. 

He had some good quality time with the cats.  He can only have the cats because he has me around to buy the food, feed them, change their boxes, take them to the vet, and give them medication.  But he sure enjoys having them around. 

Baby Girl laid down with him for hours.  He had to get up to use the toilet, and I had to bribe her away with treats.  Neither of us wanted to push her down on the floor, and no way to get around, so I went in the kitchen, rattled a bag of treats, and called her.  When she came running I encouraged Ron to get up quickly before she came back. 

And Ron just fell on the floor in his room.  During his blackouts, over the years, he has fallen on, knocked over, pulled cords, and otherwise abused his speakers.  They are starting to short out.  He was talking about going to the store and buying some "Good ones, but less than $500". 

BAD idea.  1.  He can only have it so loud before he disturbs me, and all the neighbors.  They may be assholes to us but we don't have to return the favor.  It's a bad idea to have something to "go boom" with a high, loud, volume because he will never be able to use it.  He does not live out in the country, other people are yards away.  Courtesy dictates he get something simple and basic. 

2.  He has not stopped drinking.  He will continue to break his toys.  Because of that, he should have cheap, easily replaced items.  He has broken computers, speakers, talking book machines, all sorts of electronics.  I don't see that stopping any time soon. 

In the meantime, he tried to do something with the big speaker and fell on the floor, knocking the speaker down too. 

So I went back to see if he needed help.  He was so ugly I walked out of the room. 

He called me back a few minutes later.  He had gotten himself back into bed.  I gave him his cell phone (left it in the kitchen) and reminded him he needs to adjust those trips for tomorrow.  He only made a ride to go to work and home.  He did not make anything for the doctor. 

So either he does it or he doesn't.  I reminded him.  More than once.  Worst case he calls a cab, but I did what I could to prevent that. 

I am just to sick of the self-pity drinking parties.  There are a lot of people out there who have it bad.  But you don't hear of all of them drinking themselves stupid every night. 

Look at me: I have brain damage, bipolar disorder, caregiver to a verbally abusive husband.  Difficult times, most days.  But I am still here, keeping a pretty good attitude, and staying sober. 

Life is what you make of it.