Ron made noise again last night, but I wasn't really sleeping anyway. I don't think he was doing anything over and above what he normally does. He was particularly bad around 1 AM.
At any rate, I finally got a little sleep after that and even dreamed a little. I got up and checked our pickup to work, then fed Biscuit and went back to bed. After finishing his breakfast, he joined me again, purring and massaging me.
I have decided to look at Biscuit as my Valentine today. I have had good ones and bad ones, mostly bad, but Biscuit adores me and he's a good boy. Focus on the positive.
I got up and got ready for work, got Ron ready too. Caregiving really sucks with a migraine, even post migraine sucks. I still felt very stiff and achy, even though I didn't have that horrible throbbing pain.
We went to work. It had been very slow, so we weren't there long. I told Ron about the truck trouble. The driver called Ron and told him to "Buy Heather some flowers". Well, if he had Biscuit would have knocked them over, so probably better he didn't.
We left early and went home. I went to bed. I slept OK for a couple of hours but awoke with a growing tightness on my head. I think I need to eat; I ordered some pizza and drank a Gatorade, but I am so over this headache.
As I've said, I assume it is a medication rebound headache.
The pizza came, I ate some cheesy bread and took my pills, for the first time in a couple of days. I feel "OK" but I want to maintain that, especially as Ron has been engaging in some behaviors even I won't relate. I am also moderately sleep deprived as well.
Normally we have Friday off but not tomorrow, one, Ron needs to pay me. Also, he wants to run to Sam's club and buy some supplies, take them to work on paratransit. We are in a pretty quiet phase right now so we can definitely stay supplied until Jack figures out what he's doing with the truck.
Ron is having more and more trouble getting into bed when he's drinking. I had to give him help just now, I could do it but what is he going to do in the middle of the night? Or does he just drink more during the day?
I expected him to deteriorate but not like this. Not drinking himself into immobility and atrophy from lack of exercise. There are things he could do, but won't. Water exercise, for one. That would work with his various problems. Some light physical therapy with resistance bands, at home. You get the idea.
But just to sit there drinking and let yourself rot, it's pretty awful. It does have the benefit of making me think about my own health, one reason I am getting off this medication - which is worse than getting off sugar, which
[Ron needed more "help"]
Which is worse than getting off heroin, I hear. It sure feels like I am in withdrawal. I am still getting some caffeine so it isn't that. Those NSAID pain relievers are nasty, deceptive, and evil to do this to you "Here, let me help your headache, but don't take me more than 1-2 times a week!"
Ugh. I just hope the Depakote I take anyway will help now that I can hold food down again. Boy, Ron is being loud.
We were talking the other day, Baby Girl was on him, purring. I told him if I'm not in his life it's a nursing home for him and no Baby Girl. He said that would be awful and begged me not to go, then went back to his usual behaviors shortly afterward.
He doesn't get it. The only thing he sees is his next drink. He make a token effort to say he would take me to a jewelry store. I don't wear jewelry. We hang out in some terrible neighborhoods and I would just get robbed. Not to mention I work with my hands. Can't you just see a diamond ring on my hand as I scoop out the litter box?
I don't want jewelry, I want sobriety. His. But I am not hopeful.
On the way home today (it was one of our regular drivers), Ron gave the driver $100, for another case of vodka, called the store and had them put it on hold, and opened the garage door when the driver called from the driveway. The driver then put it in the garage.
Then Ron went after the "last" bottle on the previous case. [sigh] I am so sick of writing about his drinking.
So, I have pizza for the next couple days. That will be good. I don't have anything that could go bad in the next day or two. My ground beef, the only thing I would worry about, is good for another 12 days. I hate to waste food.
Speaking of food, my produce delivery comes tomorrow. I got some butterhead lettuce, and a pummelo, in addition to some other foods. Not a whole lot, under $20 even with the delivery fee. I try to only buy what I'll eat.
Ron found a bag of cooked neckbones and has been working on that, he is a huge fan. I'm glad he likes it. He complimented it several times in a one-day period. Normally he is a very critical eater and always judgmental. Not with this.
I might actually cook more for him if he keeps it up. Otherwise, he can have his frozen burritos.
That's it for now.
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