I had an interesting discussion with a bus driver. She pulled up to my stop and said she had just been talking about me, hadn't seen me in months, how was I doing, had I lost weight? I said yes I had.
She said everyone calls me the candy lady which I have heard before. I thought that was cute. I am glad I can do what I do. It is a great medium to hand out the Scripture booklets, in a bag with some candy.
She asked me how I was doing in a concerned voice, "I know you lost your husband last year..." I said I was doing great, that Ron was in Heaven waiting for me. "I know where he is". I added the last years of his life had been pain filled and he had "suffered a lot but that is over now" which is one reason I think God allows some people to die hard, so the family will have an easier time letting them go. I would have had a very hard time if he had died in the prime of life like my grandfathers (both of them died young).
She was surprised at that, she was expecting me to have a pity party. But I will see him again. He is not in pain anymore. He would want me to make the most of the time I have left.
I am not dating of course unless God sends me a huge sign, and my 5 years are up. I only know dysfunctional relationships and not sure how I would craft a healthy one, to be honest. I need to work on boundaries, goal setting, communication, stuff like that with everyone in my life before I even think about adding a husband to the mix. I didn't say this of course.
I did find it funny people talk about me when I'm not on the bus. I don't care about that of course.
Another interesting thing, I don't cry over Ron. Maybe I cried so much when he was alive, according to my blogs I cried a lot after he died although I don't remember it that way. But I don't now.
What does make me cry is Cleo in bed with me, purring away, shoving her little butt at me for petting or ramming my hand with her head for strokes. And I think about how much I love the cats and I always cry, to the point I keep a hanky in the bed.
Oh, and a photo of me on the bus today.
If you look closely, above my right shoulder, on the ceiling, you can see the security camera. I'm on what they call a "double" bus because it is twice as long, with a bendy section in the middle. I also noted how my hair is growing in gray now the last year really did it. 10 years ago my hair was solid brown. Not anymore.
Example:
2 comments:
Watch that smile girl, you're becoming a man magnet!
LOL my admittedly very limited experience with men says I'll find one when I'm not looking. I met Ron about 2 months after I decided to stop looking and wait until my mid-20's.
Now of course it is 3 more years (ish) of being single, in the meantime working on becoming a strong woman God would be pleased with, getting healthy which means losing all the extra cans of lard (LOL), so someone may come along attracted to all that.
I can just see it, we both reach for the last 2 bags of organic kale in the refrigerator case...LOL "Are you doing keto too?" "Why yes I am, that looks like a lovely pork roast..."
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