I didn't know it was a faux pas but I knew it wasn't right

 So I recently started reading advice columns and a couple of high drama columns involved wedding guests who wore white outfits to a wedding.  

My in laws always had very elaborate, expensive, ceremonies which never made sense to me as they never made much money.  My mother in law showed me photos of some past family weddings where each bridal party had 10 ladies and 10 men each.  It was just "too much".  

Add to that the fact after the accident the in laws did everything possible to put Ron in a nursing home because they did not want to provide ongoing, long term, assistance as the social worker told them he would need.  They went behind my back talking to his doctor saying I was "crazy" and "unfit" and could not take care of him, confronted me and DEMANDED I say I was unable to care for him, and did their best to burn me out completely taking care of Ron AND his two elderly parents (that was the big plan, send Ron home to his parents and I would be primary caregiver for all three), which would have had the intended effect and burned me out pretty quick, but Ron had a lucid moment one day and begged his Dad to sign a release so I could take Ron home with me.  FIL did so I "got" Ron but the rest of the family disowned us.  

I believe my aunt contacted them a few months later trying to mend fences but they still wanted nothing to do with us.  Fine.  I did like FIL who I felt was a victim in this, the other kids were pushing him around into choices he didn't make - like when he stopped visiting Ron.  

So when we did the wedding planning I thought about it.  I wanted a happy wedding free of acrimony.  So I only wanted to invite certain people.  My parents, my sister and her family, my aunt and her family, Chuck, Ron's boss, the other vendors, and my mother and father in law.  My father in law showed up with some cash for us and said he could not attend as he had a funeral, we later found out he lied but it was a nice way to get out of it.  

I did not invite Ron's brother, or his sister, as they were bitter and hateful people and I did not want that at my wedding.  My aunt worded the invitation "share our joy" which I thought was great.  As it turns out not many people could and it was basically my family and Chuck.  But we had a good wedding.  

Ron and I had always talked about having abundant, good, BBQ at the reception so we got a party room at a BBQ restaurant.  You should have seen the looks on people's faces when I walked in wearing my wedding gown, Ron in his suit on my arm.  It's a very happy memory.  

But as I was reading all this about guests wearing white at a wedding I remembered Ron's nephew's wedding.  He was the oldest of his generation and the first to get married, so it "had" to be a big wedding.  I thought it was too much and later told Ron they could have made a down payment on a house with what they spent.  

My Dad gave my aunt some money and she had enough leftover to buy me a new pair of glasses.  We kept it very simple, I even had artificial flower bouquet which I have up next to Ron's urn now. My wedding dress cost $6 at a thrift shop.  

So we went to "L's" wedding.  Ron's brother drove us.  He wore a white, 3 piece, embroidered, "Pimp Daddy" suit that was WILDLY inappropriate.  Later on thinking about it I was very glad I did not invite him to MY wedding as God knows What he would have worn. 

Just some thoughts on weddings.