Wednesday night

 I had 2 of my regular drivers today so that was  fun.  I went to the one grocery store near my home.  

And found, to my surprise, they had some good looking organic greens.  Also blackberries, which I love, a box for $1.50 so I got 2.  I also got some ham.  Ground beef.    Cooked, peeled, baby shrimp was a steal, I felt, at $5 for 12 ounces.  So I got some of that as well.  

I came home, had the same driver I had the last time I went to that store.  I thought that was funny.  

At another point I broke the rules and didn't know it.  I ride my bus up to the transit center, circle back, and get off so I don't have to cross the street.  I do things like that with this street.  I cross a busier street on the regular after work but this street I am careful.  

So we got to the end of the line and I told the driver my plan, and asked if I could wait on the bus for her to finish her break and then go back.  She said sure and got out her phone.  Another driver came by, saw me, banged on the door, and said "She can't wait on the bus".  

My driver says "You know her, she's fine".  He looked at me in my Santa Cat pullover hoodie.  "I don't know her".  I gave him a bag of candy with a booklet.  "Oh, it's you!"  "Everyone knows her" my driver said.  I thought it was funny.  

I had to tell Metrolift (paratransit service) that Ron had died because they knew him so well, and when I did the supervisor cried on the phone.  I guess my aunt will have to do that with the bus company.  

I got to the grocery store and had a good time, came home, put everything away.  That took a minute.  Then I put the washer on a cleaning cycle and took a nap.  I had Biscuit with me.  It was sunny and in the 60's but some pretty good wind so I was cold, but the cats went out a lot today.  I have hardly seen Spotty at all but Cleo is in her spot which is apparently my chair.  

I got all the dishes done, happy about that.  I need to cook up 2 pounds of ham (8 ounces a day) and then a pound of ground beef so I can make my lunches and dinners.  I already took my pills when I got home.  I got some nice chips while I was at the store, four 1.75 ounce bags that are 27 carb grams each.  I can do that.  So I will have the taco casserole for my lunch, then  the ham for my dinner, with a salad I guess.  I can eat the chips on my break.  I just need to cook it all which will take probably 45 minutes total, but then I'm done until Monday.  Monday I will need to fix a meal for Tuesday, then I have Wed. off and get paid so I can shop and cook for the next week, then.  I am really happy I found the organic salad stuff at the store as that makes my shopping a lot easier.  I can just shop the one store.  

There are certain foods I just avoid.  That's why I didn't get any brown sugar for my sweet potato.  

I am going to go double check the weather before I call my parents.  

Wednesday morning

I slept OK, no Biscuit drama, woke up feeling OK but for the headache.  I took some Excedrin and went back to sleep.  The cats were all in the bed with me, good times.  I treasure those times.  

I got up and fed them.  I also started the heater in the bathroom as it is a little chilly today.  

I need to go to my food shopping, bring it home, do the dishes, do meal prep.  So it will be a busy day.  I would like to work a nap in there if I can.  Laundry is all done and I got the bed washed too.  

I wore my sweat pants and an oversized t shirt to bed and was very comfortable last night.  I may do that ongoing.  When Ron had the house so warm I could just go the naked route.  Not really these days!  

I am not sure what I am doing for meals: I have chili I need to eat as it is near the sell by date.  I have ground beef needs to be cooked and put into taco casserole.  Ideally I will figure out a "doesn't need heating" meal I can eat on my lunch (which is really my dinner).  I don't like waiting to use the microwave as a lot of the people bring food in glass dishes and then take 5 minutes heating it up, or buy a TV dinner and spend forever cooking it.  When I'm on my lunch I want to pull out my food and eat it.  But the tuna is starting to make me gag which is bad.  It is very filling but no good if I can't eat it.  

So I need to figure out a high fat, moderate protein, food that doesn't need heating.  Deli meat worked pretty good the other day on my break so I could theoretically do that, that was 8 ounces and filled me up for hours (I would need some kind of fat with it, maybe some cheese).  I will figure it out.  I only need 4 meals, then I have a day off, work one day, one day off (pay day at that), and then 5 days.  So I will see what looks good at the store.  

They had some uncured ham that was very good and I was able to fry that up at home, cut it up, eat the bites at work with some cheese so I may do that.  It was already cooked so it only needed 3 minutes a side.  And so many people detest pork it is still pretty cheap to buy.  

I felt a little bad for one of the Muslim ladies at work, she was in the breakroom eating her "proper" food and one of my coworkers came in asking about my Thanksgiving dinner.  I told her the turkey leg was a bust but the ham was delicious and she wanted to know where I got the ham and how I cooked it.  And the Muslim lady looked nauseated.  But I love pork.  

There is a guy cooking up meals at home or whatever, comes in and sells food plates to employees for $18.  They get a lot of food but that, to me, is just too much money.  And half of it is potato salad and mac and cheese.  There was a decent amount of meat but not $18 worth.  But a lot of people buy it.  Also t he guy is not food service certified so God knows what he is doing for food safety, but I don't say that.  But I wouldn't eat a plate if you gave it to me.  

So hopefully I will find some of the ham.  It's the end of the month, not the first, so I should be OK for inventory.  

I am going to get started and come back.    

Ack that was scary, I lost my wallet.  The other day at work it would not fit in my jeans, so I put it in my work vest.  When I got home from work I took it out of my vest along with everything else and put it in a bag on the couch so I could wash the vest.  That is a peeve of mine, people walking around with a dirty vest for week after week.  I washed the vest and hung it near the front door.  

This morning I looked for all my "pockets" stuff like my watch, cash, keys, etc. on the kitchen table.  That was all in place but for the wallet and I couldn't remember for about 5 minutes.  I couldn't help but think I had my ID, discount card, and debit card in there.  Nervewracking.  

But that's fixed.  I'm going to the grocery store now.  I will post later.  

Tuesday night

 I finally got the sheets washed.  It had been a while.  What really did it SOME cat went out in the mud and tracked muddy paw prints all over the sheets, so I had to wash them.  I have them soaking with some baking soda and detergent now.  

I took a nap that was pretty good but Biscuit was laying on my foot again making my hip hurt.  I need to figure that out.  Maybe do hip exercises and build up stronger hips?  

I redid the lights on my tree I was not happy you could tell "one string starts here, one ends here".  So I mixed them.  Here they are now.  

It is still not perfect but it's better.  

I haven't got a lot done today but I have been relaxing which is important.  I am going to go make some cheese melts.  

Tired and depressed... Going to bed early.  

Tuesday morning

 I slept OK but...

I sleep on my side, generally.  When I am thinner I naturally sleep on my stomach.  But currently I sleep on my side, generally my left.  I think some of that is a carryover from my ovarian troubles 20 years ago it hurt to sleep on my right.  

I have had on again off again hip pain when I sleep and wake but not really when I'm up and walking around.  Last night I woke several times to find Biscuit sleeping on my right leg, pulling the hip out of the socket, so to speak.  That explains the pain!  I am not going to banish him, though.  He will be gone soon enough and it will just be the memories of sleeping with him.  

I fixed my biscuits when I got up, that was pretty funny.  I couldn't get it open.  I tried the spoon.  I tried whacking it on the counter.  I called on The Name Of The Lord.  I swore.  I hit it on  the counter again.  You get the idea.  Finally the end flew off I could work with that and dug out all 5 Biscuits.  I am so used to capitalizing biscuit.  70 carbs I can swing that today.  I was down a little this morning and for now I am just trying to keep it under 185 vs. losing.  

I finished the laundry too so that's all done and put away.  I have some cleaning rags which I also washed.  They tend to fray though.  I am not impressed with that.  I forget where I bought them but I wouldn't buy them again.  I have more out in the garage, though.  

I bought them a few years ago; all the shortages with COVID and Ron becoming bedfast it was crazy.  So they filled a need but would not buy again.  I did give away all the washcloths t hat was too painful because I did a lot of bed baths.  

That's it for now.  

I did do the tree...

Monday morning

I made it through another day.  I also talked to my boss and asked if I could wear the Santa Cat hoodie if I pinned the hood inside the garment.  She said yes so I did that today, we will see if it passes muster.  There are hoodies all over the store though, they need to do a flat enforcement instead of picking who gets scolded.  

Personally I think they don't like the print.  😂😂  But we will see.  I am a hard worker so I don't see an issue.  

Today, for the first time in months, I am completely unmotivated when it comes to lunch and will be getting something from the store before work.  I don't know what yet.  Maybe some crackers and a side from the deli.  Even a Beenie Weenie would work.  I am just sick of fixing lunches.  

I do OK for four lunches but that fifth one is the sticking point.  Maybe I need to just make that Monday a free day and buy some food before work, I don't know.  I will think about it.  

Only 6 hours on the clock and then my weekend.  Tomorrow has a pretty high chance of rain so I will likely stay home and do some cleaning which the house really needs.  I also need to add up my property tax and see how much I owe, total.  See what I have in savings vs. that.  I think I am covered though, and if I'm not I get paid again next Wed.  

Cats are good, I got more food for them yesterday and lugged that home on the bus.  

3 years ago Mom sent me a 3x fleece vest.  It was too small.  I brought it today in case I get cold on the way home and it is huge on me now.  That's a big difference.  

I also need to plan out my menus/budget for groceries.  I think I am OK on salad mix which means I don't need to go to Krogers.  But I need to really look at the fridge and freezer and start eating stuff out of there.  

That's it for now.  

Sunday morning

 Mom asked me for more items on my wish list so I put some watches up.  I can use a new watch, she has some cute, cheap, options now.  

I slept OK but woke up depressed.  I am listening to uplifting music at home.  Sadly I cannot at work but they do play "some" music on the overhead.  

I noted recently they were playing an old country music song "almost home" about a guy who "saves" a homeless man from certain death only to be told the man wished he'd r ather died.  Ron could so relate and used to sob like a child during the chorus, so that's hard for me when it comes on.  But Ron was ready to go to heaven and he's there now, I am taken care of so it 's OK.  

But additional triggers not just the usual holly jolly stuff.  Speaking of I am wearing one of my santa shirts, this one does not have a hood so I can't see them objecting to it.  

Work was OK last night.  I am just tired it has been a long week.  Another long day today and then ride home on the bus.  I have my lunch packed, I brought my medication so I am good.  I also have my "big" coat even though it's supposed to be mild.  

My doctor wants to see me in person in February.  I have decided not to ask Jack to take me as it seems a little personal.  If my gut is telling me no I am going to listen.  I will call my cab driver buddy instead.  Or maybe my aunt can help.  I could even do a Uber.  

I am wearing some of my new thrift shop jeans.  They fit great and I will enjoy them today.   Pockets could be better but that's not major.  

That's it for now.  

Friday and Saturday morning

 Got to work, Black Friday.  The parking lot was only half full which had me pretty nervous.  But, as it turns out, the store was very busy.  

I bought the Cuddli Duds special, they have it every year, a 2 piece top and bottom long underwear set.  I got the black and white print.  I can live with that.  Work itself was very busy.  I had a coworker I like working with me.  She is very stylish.  

She said she loved my (cobalt blue) jeans, the way they fit, and the way I wore them which was a nice boost.  I wonder sometimes, being raised by a man the first 5 years of my life.  

Got through the day, got my break and lunch.  I also clocked in early because they needed me and I was ready to go anyway.  That's another $9 in my pocket which almost pays for the Cuddli Duds.  

Jack got me, came home, called my parents.  I got off at 8:30 so I had a little time to talk.  Then I went to bed early.  

When I woke up I checked my schedule for the week of the 10th and they don't have me working a single day.  Our personnel director is out right now so I'm not sure.  If I'm really not working I will go see my aunt, have a blast.  They have a Mega Bus goes from downtown to her for about $20.  I just have to get downtown.  But I think they will "fix" it because they really do need me.  

They are training someone else in my job but the other employees complain she is lazy and very negative, they don't like her.  I like her well enough but she complains a lot which I hope reminds me not to do the same.  

Today I work another long one and won't get back until after 6, most likely.  That's it for now.  

PS cats are good and my new lunchbox came, I really like it.  

Thanksgiving and part of Friday

 Sweet potato came out great in toaster oven.  I weighed it, about 9 ounces.  I washed it with a scrubber and dried it off with a kitchen towel.  

I rubbed it with a little coconut oil.  I can tell I am keeping the house colder as my coconut oil was solid.  I rubbed the leftover oil into my hands.  Then I stabbed the potato a few times, telling it  "It's for your own good".  I preheated the toaster to 400 degrees and then stuck the potato in for about 45 minutes.  I let it sit for about 10 minutes, threw the potato in a bowl, added some butter, and ate it.  It was good.  

Now I have to say pureed pumpkin is easier, I open a can and add a little spice/sweetener and eat it.  I have some pumpkin for later.  

Now I need to do some laundry.   

Next day: so in summary started off pretty bad on Thanksgiving, took a nap, woke up with bad headache, took Excedrin.  Talked to my brother for an hour this is the "good" one, a little eccentric but a good man.  Says I always have a place with him if I want.  I thought that was sweet.  

Felt better after that, ate my dinner.  Smoked turkey leg was a big disappointment.  Ham was good though.  I am up 2 pounds today.  Talked to my Dad and then my aunt.  Went to bed early, slept OK.  

I have a hard time getting up in the morning because the bed is nice and warm with lots of covers, the cats are on me purring, etc.  But I made it.  

Supposed to rain today after I get to work thank God.  I already packed my lunch, leftovers from yesterday and a green salad, some nuts, chicken salad.  The turkey leg is so bad I think I will throw it out.  And I never throw out meat.  

Off to take my shower.   That's done, did up my candy.  

I ate my usual breakfast but hungry, and depressed.  Frustrating.  I think I will have some coconut oil.  Probably all the carbs from yesterday.  

I did that.  Just goes to show carb binges can have multiple effects, unstable blood sugar in addition to weight gain.  And the coconut oil is st ill solid.  In an ideal world my coconut oil would always be liquid.  I am not sure how work will be today we will have to see.  

That's it for now.  

Thanksgiving morning

 I was hoping Thanksgiving this year would be like my 30th wedding anniversary: no big deal.  I was wrong.  

Anyway, let me get started on yesterday.  I was going to work when a guy got on the bus with a backpack, filling the bus with an overwhelming stench of marijuana that will probably make the driver fail his next random drug test.  It was very strong.  Then I had cologne man get on as well.  I can understand the day laborer types wearing heavy cologne in the summer because they don't want BO but this was just some guy trying to be flashy.  The scent of the two combined flipped me into a migraine.  

Happily, God reminded me of the lemon pie.  I grabbed a 6 pack of diet dews and got myself a fried lemon pie, which has gone up 70 cents since the last time I bought one.  We used to pay less than that, wholesale.  

I staggered back to the breakroom, tears running down my face.  I quickly gobbled the fried lemon pie and had a dew washing down a couple of Excedrin as well.  And it worked.  

My department was very busy so a lot of stress and drama, I was glad they only had me down for 4 hours.  I got out of there and took the bus home.  

I called my parents and then went to bed early.  I slept a lot because I could and got up around 8.  I was pretty depressed and wasn't up for taking a shower.  Until I had to, I found it funny.  I got the shower and even shaved my legs.  

I got the corner of the kitchen cleaned up.  My trim is up above the cabinets in there now.  There is a separation of about half an inch.  I hope that means I don't have a foundation problem.  For now I am not going to worry, it has been like that for years, unchanging.  

I made a mistake with the toaster oven so I have to let the timer feature finish before I can bake my sweet potato.  I am looking forward to it.  

In the meantime I ate a couple of bunless hot dogs.  

Tuesday night

 I slept OK and when I got up I decided to organize the kitchen a little.  I had done about half the dishes, my reusable bags, some containers, etc.  I had a kitchen towel sort of bunched up on the counter so I picked it up, a butcher knife dropped out and hit me in the leg on the way down.  

I am glad it was my leg and not my foot.  It is not a bad gash I will be able to work.  And I got the bleeding stopped so I don't have to worry about stitches.  I don't think I'm going to shave the leg, though.   

Funny side note, I was in the bathroom looking at my leg and Spotty (orange and white male) came in, meowed sweetly, and rubbed against my leg, getting blood all over my leg and his fur.  I had to shower anyway so I took care of my leg and Spotty can take care of himself.  

And it's going to rain today, not happy about that but I will wear my bigger Land's End coat.  When I bought it it was tight at a 3x.  Now I am a woman's xl so plenty of room.  I just want to get some more vegetables.  I have plenty of meat, I may also look and see if they have little containers on sale.  

That's it for now.  

 I am back.  I went out with my purple insulated tote bag (bought in better times), my teal winter coat (the 3 x which was indeed way too big, but abundantly warm), went to the grocery store.  

I started at the meat department.  What kind of nonsense is this that the ground beef was cheaper than the ground turkey?  So I got a pound of ground beef.  I got "my" salad mix (organic, one pound, assorted greens), some celery, a bag of those little peppers, some organic assorted (various colors) baby carrots, etc.  

Something told me to check my bank balance and I got paid early this week so I actually had something to spend for a change.  I also got a bag of "on sale" lemons and a bag of Halo oranges.  It was fun lugging that all home let me tell you.  I also got a can of biscuit dough - NOT A BIG ONE and the whole can if I cook and eat it will be 75 carbs which I can do.  

I need to clean the fridge, clean out the kitchen, do the dishes, so some meal prep.  But for now I am relaxing.  I even managed to get a nap when I got home from the store.  

All I need to prep is one meal.  

Oh, and during my nap?  I heard a dog whining so I am not going outside today.  I am one of those people who attracts hard luck animals I want him to wander off before I go out again.  

Taking a break... I had nuts, cheese, and baked beans for dinner not hungry.  

So I met a very interesting man on the bus.  He was autistic, I think, very shy but kept approaching people and giving them tracts so you know he was on my good list.  His pants were dirty but he was doing God's work and one guy shouted at him, he jumped like he'd been hit but he came over to me.  The first time I gave him a tract, "The Amazing Life of Jesus".  The second time he was so persistent I took it, it was a tract on suicide and how God can help.  

But I am pleased I got  to see him.  

I am hungry tonight for some reason.  I have about eaten my weight in cheese.  

And I saw something I found a little concerning.  There is a family in my neighborhood.  I have only ever seen the man and his two grandkids.  He would let the children run wild on my property.  Ron thought it was "cute", I did not, especially when I saw the kids chasing my cats.  They would walk an ugly looking dog every time.  One day the boy didn't know I was there and let the dog off leash to "sic" it on my cat, who beat up the dog pretty soundly.  I shouldn't have but I laughed.  So they don't like me much.  I just saw the grandfather walking the dog.  He was carrying a stun gun baton.  I used to have one but showed it to someone who played with it, leaving it on for an extended period of time watching it crackle, and burned it out.  

That is disturbing he thinks he needs that.  It makes me think.  

I did my meal prep for tomorrow in my reusable bags, some cheese, some nuts, cut up vegetables to eat before my shift.  I have cut up peppers, cucumber, and some baby carrots.  Kroger had such a nice looking bag of different colored baby carrots I had to get them.  I am a sucker for the multicolors.  

Not sure what I am doing for breakfast yet.  I will figure it out.  I think I'm going to hard boil some eggs.  

That's it for now.  

Edit I made egg salad for breakfast.  

More Monday

 Well definitely no interest in that one guy any more.  My boss loaned me out to his department.  He came over, looked around.  Said "I don't see her."  Boss points at me "I didn't know you were 'Heather'".  I am wearing a name tag.  Talk about demeaning.

Work was fine.  Still raining and my coat never dried out so I took a ride home.  Got caught up putting stuff away and laundry.

Both Ron and I had Land's End parkas.  Mine is huge on me but Ron's fits me, but does have a broken zipper so I will likely just wear mine.  I remember I had a hard time getting it zipped...not anymore.

Catching up on laundry tonight.  Then I will do meal prep and dishes tomorrow.  Thursday I will be cooking and doing dishes so not really a day "off" this week.  Not complaining.  I will complain I have split days off in a few weeks and not looking forward to that.  

Biscuit is in my computer chair so I am posting from my cell phone.  

That's it for now.

That sucked

 Not going to lie it was cold and nasty.  And my first bus was half an hour late which meant I spent over an hour out in it.  Coat soaked, freezing, wind.  Not fun.  At work now.  Did a little shopping before so I can run out of here at 4.

I need some wool gloves.  That's it for now.  

Sunday night and Monday morning

My hands are very irritated.  I will need to apply a lot of lotion.  

Work was fine.  I got a ride in and had time to eat my breakfast.  I got pretty depressed right before work so I didn't look around at the storage containers or anything.  Everyone kept asking me what was wrong, I "didn't look right".  I really have a transparent face.  I think that is a good thing most days.  

I got my break and lunch on time so I was happy about that, and I had enough to eat.   

I got home OK.  One of my bus drivers was asking about the Scripture booklet, where I got it, etc.  He liked the concept of handing it out in candy so I told him how to get the booklets.  (www.wmpress.org) and where I get my candy.  If you're going to hand out a lot you need the BIG bags of candy.  

I was wearing my white puffer coat so I felt visible going home.  I did see a large, dead, dog next to the very busy street by my subdivision.  A lot of dogs die in that street.  Happily it is pretty far from my house and I have never seen my cats in the street.  Baby Girl used to go down the storm drain that is all.  I suspect she went in there the day she died.  I got to the house OK and got in, everything was fine.  

I get paid Wednesday and I am trying to plan out my budget.  I talked to my parents, went to bed, slept OK.  I got out Ron's 2 heated blankets.  The big blanket seems to be broken.  If so I will throw it out.  The throw blanket puts out a mild warmth but nothing impressive.  I will keep that just out of nostalgia remembering Ron under it.  I forgot I bought Ron a big feather comforter for our anniversary back in 2005 I think.  It doesn't have a cover so I am going to look at flannel covers on Amazon.  That would be nice in the bed.  But I'm not sure how much the cover will run.  

I need to take a shower but am not washing my hair today, it looks fine.   All done.  At some point I need to get a new watch.  The one I have is fine but the band, fake leather, is shot.  It is actively raining right now so I put on my long underwear bottoms under my jeans.  I didn't wear wool socks that was a little uncomfortable with the compression socks.  I have a sweatshirt over a t shirt and will wear my coat and poncho over t hat.  I will be quite a sight.  I have my candy bagged up and ready to go as well.  Mainly "Help From Above" booklets which got my parents really excited when they read them, perfect for handing out to someone in trouble.  

Work is only 4 hours so it shouldn't be bad.  I am going to look around a little before work and get some cheese for home, also maybe some lunch box type containers.  I wasn't crazy about paying $6 for mini salad dressing containers for  my lunch but looking online I'm not going to do any better.  And a salad from the deli is "like' $4 so I save in the long run.  Ugh... rain rain this is going to be interesting.  

I did manage to do most of my laundry last night so I won't have much to do tonight when I get home from work.  I don't know what I'm doing for dinner yet either.  The good news the rain should be over by the time I get off work today.  

I will say I am nice and toasty sitting in my house so hopefully I can take this out to the bus stop.  I'm not too worried though it is not very windy.  And I do have my poncho.  

That's it for now.  

Early morning Sunday

 After I get paid I need to make an order with Swanson for some choline (I hear that is very good for Fetal Alcohol) and some Vitamin E.  The small bottles at work are consistently sold out.  

I slept OK.  The pork roast looks OK so I am going to take some for lunch.  I used my meat thermometer on it and boy it got up to temperature.  I have a headache right now so I will try some when the aspirin kicks in.  

I also had a caffeine pill and some ginseng.  The next time I have a couple days in a row I will buy more ginseng if I think it helps.  I can get it at an Asian market.  But the next couple weeks I am lucky to have 2 days at a time or split days off.  Not a fan of split days off.  But I get it the store needs me.  I think I am actually privileged in my schedule.  They really like me because I do work the nights and weekends so I get 2 to 3 days off in a row most weeks.  I haven't asked but I don't think a lot have that, but most want at least one weekend day off.  So they end up split.  I don't talk about my schedule except to "whine" now and then about how "unfair" it is now and then when everyone else is bitching.  But I don't feel that way.  

Working for Ron it was nights, early mornings, weekends, whenever needed.  So I am well primed for Walmart.  

I want to buy some containers for myself, something for salad dressing and another one for, like, the "meal", with the tray that has one big space and a couple of small ones.  That would be nice for my Thanksgiving leftovers.  I am going to look before I clock in today.  

I wore my long underwear pants, and a tshirt, to bed last night, with some socks.  I was very warm, will do that again.  My store generally has some sort of long underwear special on Black Friday so I will see what they have.  I need to look at my schedule though.  See how many rides I need (I think, a lot) so I can budget accordingly. 

I do feel a little better after the ginseng I may have to do that tomorrow.   

Still have the headache, though.  Not bad.  

I did my meal prep.  The pork roast turned out pretty good.  I didn't put the fat side on top so the top was a little dry but I had a couple bites and it is good enough for my lunch.  I brought some sliced zuccini for my vegetable, in addition to a 3 cup salad for breakfast with my sandwich.  Then for my break I have blackberries with a wedge of cheese.  Should be pretty good.  

I am debating if I want to buy the canned cranberry.  I may/may not it depends.  

I am ready to go though.  It will be interesting to see what managers I have today.  

That's it for now.  

I made it to Saturday

 And only one more long day at work.  I have a couple of short days but only tomorrow, a short day, day off, short day, long days.  So not brutal.  

When I got home I took a nap and then got my pork roast going.  I cut it in half, made tricky by an extensive, hidden, bone.  Hopefully the one half will fit in my crock pot.  Years ago I gave away my bigger crock pot; I should have kept it.  I have very few regrets on things I've purged but that is one.  

I started the ginger, sweet potato, granny smith pork roast.  It should be good.  I also threw a few cloves in there too.  The other one is poblano pepper, cumin, oregano, onion, and garlic.  Each had a good splash of chicken broth as well.  I froze the one with Mexican spices.  Sell by date is tomorrow; I work a long day and then take the bus home.  Guaranteed I will not want to cook tomorrow.  

Cats are good.  They were loafing in the bed when I left and when I got back.  I just gave them a can of turkey pate you should have heard the meowing before they dug in.  

Tomorrow I plan to buy a breakfast sandwich at McDonald's with my gift card.  I will probably bring a salad and then eat that with the sandwich.  I am always looking for a way to sneak in some vegetables.  Not sure what else I will have, likely pork roast though.  I don't like to repeat tuna too often even though it is cheap and tasty because I don't want to get sick of it.  

I may also do some lentils on my day off.  They are very filling and non fattening.  Happily I have plenty of meat, almost all pork.  I also have the turkey leg for Thanksgiving.  That's a pound and a half, right there.  I will figure it out.  I try to do my cooking when I have the energy.  

That's it for now.  

Friday morning

 Not sure what to think of this.  Some of my coworkers were talking.  I know one was teasing me which is fine.  The other one was dead serious, very grim, saying I "talk to the male customers".  I talk to everyone.  And that I had "told that one man I was losing weight".  She mentioned that several times in the course of a 5 minute conversation.  

I felt bad for the man, I was passing the Men's department on the way to the breakroom.  He was trying on button down shirts and had asked if I thought he looked OK.  I told him (honestly) he looked great.  He sadly told me he had gained some weight.  He was about 40 pounds over.  I told him I had been 258 and he gaped at me.  Then I told him I had lost it doing keto.  He wanted to know a little about it so I told him, and told him to look it up online.  He was very encouraged and smiling when I left.  That was all.  

The way some of the girls talk you would swear I am giving out my phone number!  😂  I probably do need to check for a wedding ring before talking with a guy, though.  Unless it is business.  Although I never minded if Ron talked to women.  

I just gave it back and said I needed a sugar daddy to take care of my cats as Biscuit is very expensive   and the lady teasing me laughed.  The other lady kind of scoffed and stomped off.  

But, other than that, everyone did love the new jeans.  Even my fashion lady.  She always wears very stylish outfits and she gave the jeans a thumbs up.  Said they showed my figure.  Oh.  I almost forgot.  

I got someone in the breakroom to take a photo.  Of course I had the "adds 30 pounds" vest on over that but that's OK.  I'm really not looking to impress anyone.  

I felt bad for my bosses, they were tired.  They left around 7.  I think they had worked 12 hours.  They need another team lead.  

I ate everything I brought.  I also had some canned pumpkin when I got home.  I had some sugar free pumpkin spice syrup so I added that to the canned (plain) pumpkin and stirred it, it was very good.  And that's 2 more vegetables for me.  I am trying to eat a mix of food.  

I slept OK but woke up at 2, remembered I had meant to put on my hand lotion (hands are very dry from the weather and all the hand washing), did that, went back to bed.  I am pretty tired and unmotivated this morning so I am thinking I will use my McD gift card and buy myself a double cheeseburger for my lunch.  And I will have plenty of value left on the card!  

We also had some "PDQ's" of sweats on sale for $8.  If I can find a women's 20 top in navy I am going to get it.  I could use a top.  I have some bottoms but nothing in navy.  

Tomorrow looks to be utterly miserable: rain, cold.  Probably wind.  I have a ride TO work but may have to take one from.  It is also going to rain Monday.  We need the rain I just wish not when I was traveling.  I will likely wear my long underwear tomorrow under some of my bigger jeans.  

I need to get ready, that's it for now.  

All done with my shower, I'm going to eat my kale and then get dressed.  I am going to use olive oil on the kale so I don't want to be wearing a shirt.  

I packed pumpkin with the sugar free syrup (2 servings vegetables), salad (3 servings), blackberries (2 servings), bowl of cooked kale 2-3 servings.  I feel a lot better hitting at least 6 vegetables a day.  Digestion is great, too.  I also brought chicken in red wine sauce, and will buy myself a burger for dinner.  

Thanksgiving dinner will be pumpkin puree, pecan pie (a mini), green salad, cooked kale, smoked turkey leg, fried ham, cornbread stuffing, and gravy.  It should be pretty good.  I had good Thanksgivings with Ron and bad ones.  I have been thinking some about a bad one.  Hopefully I can get past that this year.  When I would see my aunt she would always give Ron a plate.  One year I told her forget the plate, put it all in a baggie and mix it up.  He loved it so we just did that every year, stuffing, turkey, gravy all mixed up in a bag.  He would lay in bed with the bag on his chest making yum yum noises.  It looked awful but he had a great time.  I will try to focus on those years.  

 I am wearing my teal skinny cut jeans with a matching teal plaid shirt.  I believe they came from the same closet my aunt kept exclaiming how cute they looked together.  And it  says "16" fits great so that is wonderful.  I get a lot of compliments when I wear skinny cut jeans I guess it works with my figure.  I don't know much about that.  

But I think my coworkers will like it.  I will probably be accused 😂 of trying to catch a man but I can live with it.  And I'm not, I'm at the stage in my process I am OK living with the cats.  

That's it for now.  

Skinny cut cobalt blue jeans fit great!

 See, Monday night I ate Mexican food.  Nothing too bad, a handful of tortilla chips and a quesadilla.  Tuesday I had Whataburger and went off the rails.  The honey bbq chicken sandwich has bbq sauce, cheese, chicken strips, Texas toast.  Add to that a large vanilla malt and that's where I had a problem.  But it was very tasty.  I also had maranillos and a few other Mexican pastries I happily cannot access on the bus line.  

The jeans I tried on Tuesday fit but I thought for sure they would not fit today.  They do, and well.  I will try to get someone to take a photo.  I really need to get a mirror.  I have a "waist up" mirror but not a full length.  

Biscuit knows I am going to work.  He will be OK though.  I am leaving a light on as it is very gloomy today.  

At 9 I will call Jack and remind him I am off at 8:30 tonight instead of 10.  I have my lunch packed and had some cooked kale for breakfast.  I really think it's important to get a cooked green every day.  I also have a salad in my lunch, and some sliced squash to nibble on during a break or lunch.  I don't like cooked squash unless it is the "winter" variety.  

That's it for now.  

Well I made a mistake but not a fatal one

 I had 4 loads of laundry this week.  The usual load, 2 loads of thrift shop, and the cleaning rags and towels load.  

I did the first 3 no problem and even used the no cat hair dryer sheets on the thrift store stuff.  I washed the towels and rags in washing soda and borax plus the detergent.  I ran the load; I did it on "soak" first, then I ran a load of "whites" then I ran a "rinse and spin" I thought, with some vinegar.  

No, I ran a load of "whites" again with the vinegar.  Whoops.  

I talked to my aunt she is fine.  Almost back home now.  It is always fun to talk to her.  

I feel a little bad my Dad had mentioned he wanted to talk to her when she drove back home and I did, instead.  I feel bad about that.  

The chicken smells divine so I think the recipe is a keeper.  Next up is the pork roast.  I am thinking ginger, garlic, salt, pepper, chicken broth.  I am going to cut the roast in half and put half in the freezer, seasoned up and in the broth.  The other half goes in the crock pot.   

So I put a couple things on my Christmas list.  I have been thinking I could use some flannel sheets at night when I'm getting ready for bed, so I found a pair in a vivid purple and put it on the list, two different purple lunch boxes.  Some cold packs you put in the freezer and reuse.  A bigger, red, crock pot.  Any one of those would be great.  

I rethought the crock pot and moved that to my personal wish list.  Other than that I can't think of anything I need, except maybe a new keyboard.  This one is getting a little creaky.  

I am taking a break from my meal prep work.  I did all the dishes and they are soaking in a bleach sanitizer solution.  Can't be too careful.  It is hell on my hands, though, the dish washing and then the bleach.  I will put the good lotion on my hands when I go to bed tonight.  

I need to take the skin and bones out of my chicken dish, then portion that out, see how far it goes.  It is 3 chicken thighs so I am only thinking 3 meals?  I like a generous portion but obviously that's not hurting me.  

I need to make tuna for a couple of days.  

I need to make salads; and cut up some raw vegetables for snacking.  I also need to figure out if I'm taking some fruit.  I did all the clothes so that's done.  

I do need to wash my sheets that has been a while.  But every day I'm off the cats are in my bed looking so plump and sweet, I can't move them.  Or so I tell myself.  

That reminds me I want to do a cleaning cycle on my washer.  

Now it's photo time.  

It's very important to me they get along and they all know that.  The teal blanket was Ron's.  That's one of the few things I kept.  

New jeans that fit next to the cats.  

Jeans that don't fit yet but were too cute to pass up.  

Me with my thrift store haul: 

That's it for now.  I tried the chicken, it is pretty good but needed more salt so I would up it to 1/2 t in the recipe.  I will edit it.  

Wednesday morning

Didn't sleep great but I had a lot of caffeine.  Happily still manic, STILL washing my clothes.  Not complaining.  But I got all the shirts hung up and several of the jeans folded in my drawer.  I think I will wear the fat pants for a few days because I did have a large vanilla malt with lunch yesterday.  Did I need it?  No.  But it was good and I think the last one I had was the summer time.  

I am back to healthy eating habits today.  I am not even hungry yet, to be honest.  But my sweatpants still fit.  

I got the chicken in red wine sauce started.  I will share the recipe and then tell you if it was any good.  

2 pounds chicken thighs, with bone and skin (I got 3 big thighs)

1 garlic clove (peeled of course)

I handful chopped onions

1/4 t each salt and pepper 

1/2 cup red wine (mine is still good)

1/2 cup chicken broth 

Crock pot cooking bag 

Place bag/liner in crock pot, then add garlic and onions.  Place each chicken thigh in pot, combine broth, wine, and spices, stir well.  Pour mixture over chicken, close up, set timer on low for several hours.  

We will see how it turns out.  I also added a little extra salt and pepper to each chicken thigh as I put them in the pot because they looked kind of flavorless just sitting there.  

I may need to get a bigger crock pot if I want to do things like chicken leg quarters.  I am OK with that I will think it out.  I would love a bright red one, I have a bright red theme with my small appliances, I go out of the way to buy ones that are bright red.  My egg cooker, my pancake maker, my can opener, things like that.  I find it fun.  

It's a small kitchen so I want a harmonious theme.  

I am fine with my small kitchen it is just me cooking.  It was a problem when Ron was alive and using his wheelchair because he loved to sit in the kitchen and drink his vodka.  He didn't like to move.  I called him my Blind Kitchen Obstacle and he loved it.  "I'm your Obstacle".  

The cats are loafing in my bed, I guess I know what they do when I am gone.  

I put a couple things on my Amazon wish list, a bigger, red, Crock pot; a nice big purple lunch bag.  I have an orange bag that is OK but the zipper sticks a lot when I am opening it.  It is frustrating.  Don't get me wrong it keeps my food cold.  But it has seen better days; and if I'm going to get a gift that would be a good one.  

So we will see.  The bags are really cute and not very expensive.  Nice advantage they won't look like anyone else's lunch in the breakroom.  Someone at work has "my" smaller lunch bag so I don't take it anymore so the food doesn't get confused.  No one has my current, big orange bag.  Which I like just fine it is just the zipper problem.  

And my local TV station is playing NCIS reruns today instead of Blue Bloods.  Well my TV will be off today.  I plan to relax a little (I am still doing laundry) and then do the cleaning and food prep this afternoon.  

My light bulb burned out, up front.  It was a light sensing bulb that turned on when it got dark out, it was great, lasted a good couple years and only $5 so a good deal.  Amazon has something.  I have had some problems with my timer outlet inside the house and have no desire to burn my house down with faulty electronics, so I unplugged it.  I got a 2 pack of light sensing bulbs and will have one on the outdoor fixture and one inside in the front room.  Then the house will be nice and bright when I come home.  I moved my 3 way pole lamp to Ron's room.  It's in the front of the house and my bedroom is in the back so it won't bother me.  I like the concept.  

Eventually I need some electrical work done, ceiling lights in Ron's room and laundry room, new light fixture over dining room table, new ceiling fan.  I will save up.  Carlos can do it he said, for pretty cheap.  I am not sure about the fan but if he can do a light fixture I don't see why he couldn't do the fan.  He is a good guy.  I am glad I know some guys like that who can fix my house, are decent men, won't overcharge me.  I have the fixtures picked out, I have 2 fixtures in other rooms that came as a 2 pack so I would just buy that again, so it all matches (I like the look, too).  I picked out the dining room light some time ago.  I have not selected a ceiling fan.  I wouldn't really care as long as it is a satin nickel finish as that's what I have on everything around here.  

That's it for now.  

A busy day out

 Well the socks are WAY too tight, that is disappointing.  

I took my shower and did my God Time so I am good to go.  My aunt had to do something and then she will come over from her friend's house.  It should be an interesting day.  

 So I am back from  my day out.  Our haul: 8 pair of jeans, 6 of which fit great now, 2 are in the "when I slim down a few inches" pile which I like to have.  2 Christmas tops, not bad I thought.  One has Santa Cats on it and the other has a jolly skiing Santa.  Two button down blouses one of which is a thick fleece plaid in teal.  That will be great to wear around the house even if I don't wear it to work.  A pair of shorts in plain denim.  The striped ones I have are cute but sometimes I want something basic.  AND EVERYTHING WAS A 16.  ALL OF IT.  My aunt said they fit great, I felt they fit great.  So very happy about that.  Some nice bright colors.  

She is going to send me photos and then I will put them up but that's quite a haul.  Best of all they were running a 30% off "senior" special.  She paid for everything and saved us an additional $20.  So I got a huge haul.  As a gift.  I used my money to buy some laundry sanitizer and some Tide Pods.  I also got some candy to hand out, 4 pounds of caramels and 5 pounds of pinata mix.  That will hold me for a while.  

The guy who helps me with my phone likes a certain Gatorade only available at Krogers.  I got him a couple bottles.  I asked what he liked and he told me but I know he thinks I'll never give him one.  That will be nice on Thursday.  

One of my love languages is giving gifts, I have found.  I love to give little gifts.  It makes me happy.  

So it was a good day, I love spending time with her.  I told her pretty clearly I don't expect to see her again for a while because she has the new grandson coming in a few weeks.   She is going to be helping out with him plus her other wife/mom/grandma duties.  I am glad she could squeeze me in for today.  It's always good to see her.  

I had fun and I won't look like a baggy hobo now.  I got some really cute colored jeans.  One pair in bright blue.  One in teal.  Both will look fantastic with my vest.  I also got some basic black and indigo, and a greige I was not crazy about at first but fits perfectly and is a little dressier than the other ones.  The shorts come right above the knee, perfect for my style.  I don't want any whoopsies I showed my underwear.  Some of the stuff I saw at the store this summer practically burned my eyeballs.  

Biscuit was a brave boy and came out a few times.  Cleo did not run at first when she saw my aunt, as well.  

Only other notable thing I did give my aunt my Google password so she has the blog now if something happens to me.  She has everything else including a power of attorney for me and also a power of attorney for my medical decisions.  She is on my bank accounts.  She is not on my credit card that is my debt.  But the Google password was nothing compared to that.  

It is nice to have someone in my life I trust 100%.  

That's it for now.  I will put up the photos when I get them.  

Tuesday morning

I have taken a different approach to my neighbor in #6.  As you know I've had issues.  That said he wasn't as bad as the hoarder in #2 about 12 years ago.  Who could forget the Barkappotamous day and night?  

So yesterday it's 6 AM and I'm in the shower.  He has a very loud diesel truck he likes to idle for several minutes before leaving.  I heard him fire it up and I started play "Yelling" at him from the shower.  'It's about time you got up, lazy!  Go to work!  Go pay my taxes!  Bring me a latte!"  etc. I was cracking myself up.  

When I got home from work last night he was at home early because he is a construction worker and it was raining; this morning I got up early and was sitting at my computer when he left the house at 5:30 AM.  I can say things about him but he does work hard.  

Anyway, work was fine.  Dinner was great with my aunt.  She is staying with a friend.  That's good as she is not a fan of cats (doesn't hate them just doesn't want them near her) so she couldn't stay with me.  Cats are evil in they will relentlessly pursue someone who is averse to them.  But if she came in my house and said "Here kit kit" like her husband does they would ignore her like they do him.  😂

I got all my groceries, including squash, cucumber, salad mix, kale, meat, etc.  

Today I need to go to Kroger.  They have Gatorade my tech guy likes and I told him I'd get some; I will.  It's the least I can do.  He is very nice about helping.  I am sure I look like a hopeless relic from the past, asking for help, but I really can't figure it out.  But he's nice about it.  

I also need to get more candy to hand out.  And go to the thrift store.  

I would like: some pairs of jeans that fit me now.  Some pairs of jeans that are a little small I will fit later.  A Christmas sweater or two.  Those are the high value items.  

Ideally I would also like a few tops that fit me now.  I am an XL top now not the 2X I have in my closet.  I saw the 2X are not really a good fit for me when I went to visit my parents and wore a 2X top on the plane.  It was embarrassingly loose and I changed the minute I got to their house.  Maybe a long skirt or two.  There is a lady at work looks so nice she wears long flowing skirts.  

I will try on what I have after my shower and see what fits.  Right now I have a black pair of jeans that fit OK and I am going with them as my mainstay until I get new.  

And after the thrift shop I need to go to work and get some laundry sanitizer.  I like to use that on the first load of thrift shop clothes.  

It is cold out but not currently raining.  I found it very funny Biscuit came running in the cat door, went over to his litter box, used it, and went back out.  That is fine as long as he is healthy and happy, and boy did he pee which is great for a FLUTD cat.  

That's it for now.  

Monday

 I got the card!  Thank you very much I will likely be using the gift cards after work on the weekend to get something tasty before I take the bus home.  

Work went OK.  My aunt met me at the store and we dropped my stuff off at home, then went out to dinner and then got groceries.  I got another pork roast, some garlic, onion, ginger.  I got link sausage.  I had wanted to make some chicken in red wine and got some nice chicken thighs for $2.50 for the tray of 2 pounds (exactly what fits in my crock pot).  I went to Kroger (she took me of course).  I got salad mix, kale, cucumbers, didn't like the looks of the celery so I got some squash.  I also got some dressing because I checked the dates on the dressing I had in the fridge and none of it was good.  So now I am thinking dip my raw squash slices in some honey mustard?  We will see.  They also had blackberries on special so I got 2 trays at $1 each.  

I like some sort of raw vegetable with some dressing (dipping) or a block of cheese.  I also like a raw salad and then some cooked kale every day.  I have all that now.  I am good for well over a week.  

We are going to the thrift store tomorrow morning.  It should be fun.  And that will do it for things I wanted to do.  Maybe go to the store and get some laundry sanitizer?  That's about all I can think of.  I am looking forward to it.  

Only bad thing I dropped something and broke it but it didn't shatter.  Dad is eating dinner now and will call when he's done.  

That's it for now!  

Sunday night and a little bit of Monday morning

Last year I really wanted some Christmas socks for work but talked myself out of them.  This year I found some cute Christmas compression socks so I pulled the trigger this time.  

It has several features I found important: candy canes, Christmas trees, snowflakes, and a jolly snowman.  

That's good as I got some bad news about the Santa Cat hoodie.  I may not be allowed to wear it at work due to the hood.  Safety hazard.  But I can wear it on my days off.  

Work was very busy but it went fast.  My boss had me finish up my computer training classes.  Nothing major just hazmat and something else I forget.  I got it all though there is nothing left.  

I brought candy again which was a huge hit.  The bosses kept coming by and snacking on it which is the point, a stressed employee gets a minute of bliss.  At least in my head.  There was a higher up manager kept flogging them verbally so I felt happy I could make it a little better.  

I won't gossip but I will say I felt bad for them.  I actually caught the early bus today which was nice, and my second bus driver went like a bat out of hell so I got home before 5:30, that is impressive.  

I need to do dishes tonight, and make some tuna and egg salad for tomorrow, but then I am done 

{next day, my parents called and after I hung up I went to bed]

I did not sleep well, but drank a lot of (diet) Mountain Dew which I blame for that.  I did have a total of 9 low carb vegetables which can only improve my health.  I remember back in 2000 I worked at a chain restaurant as a server.  I wasn't  very good so they only gave me a few tables.  One lady came in and sat with her friends, said "I want something light so bring me the veggie plate" and selected 4-5 veggie sides for her meal.  I went in the back and one of the cooks was putting a 5 pound stick of butter in the mixer with some veggie side, I forget which.  But I can still see that 5 pound stick of butter sitting on the vegetables.  I had my veggies with cheese, low carb salad dressing (regular dressing cut with olive oil), cooked in meat juice, etc.  At one point I ate a cup and a half of pumpkin puree out of a can because I was craving it, just the straight canned pumpkin.  And it was good, I will do that again.  

Today should be fun: it is my Friday.  My aunt is coming to town and will pick me up after work.  I am going to pick up some non perishable groceries before work.  Good times.  

Talking to my parents last night Dad said it is "all" sagging skin after 80 which I found funny, and 80 is not that far away.  

There is a guy at work really getting on my nerves.  He is very obese, fine with that because we all have to find our way of eating.  But necessary to state this for reference.  He told me he wears a 5x.  Every time he sees me eating in the breakroom he disparages my foods and says things like "It doesn't matter if it's organic" "vegetables aren't that good for you anyway" and "You need starch" stuff like that.  I wouldn't care if he was average weighted but him?  No way.  Prove your weight loss, significant, better than my 80 pounds, and then we will talk.  He also talks a lot about the fact he is under treatment for depression and anxiety.  Like, constantly.  It gets old.  The other day he had a panic attack at work and came running in during my lunch for his  pill.  I want to tell him he is an amateur when it comes to mental illness and come back when he can match me.  😂  But I won't.  I try to be nice to everyone but I just don't like him.  And I like pretty much everyone.  

Today I plan to do snickers fun size at work for my candy.  Everyone at work likes Snickers.  I have always liked having some sort of candy bowl at work.  

That's it for now.  

Saturday night

 The question will arise so first of all let me say I don't know where the dog lives, the owners name, anything.  All I know the owner was a young (early 20's) latino man who called the dog "Diego".  

Got to work just fine.  Cheat day so I had 2 donuts.  Work was busy, break went fine but a problem on my lunch.  Too many associates, not enough microwaves... and people putting their stuff in for 5+ minutes rather that just a quick heat and eat like I wanted.  I resolved I will not be bringing lunch meals that require heating, at least while working 9-4.  Nothing against Walmart or my fellow associates but 2 microwaves for over a hundred people?  Come on.  

Left on time, but had to wait on the bus.  The sun had set by the time I got to the transit center so I put on my reflective safety vest.  It was cold, the wind made it worse.  But buses would pull up next to me to board and the engine would be right next to me, a toasty source of warmth.  It was awful in the summer but I took advantage tonight.  

Bus came.  Never seen the driver in my life.  He passed up one stop so I had myself set when I signaled for my stop, I got up and stood next to him, here it is..that worked.  "See you tomorrow".  

And then the dog.  It was skinny, male, unaltered.  The ears and tail had been cruelly cropped but maybe not by the owner.  He had a broken rope trailing from his collar and he REALLY wanted to live with me.  He kept following me, getting in front of me, trying to get my attention and some pets.  I was completely freaked out.  I am already scared of dogs and this?  Why couldn't it have been a wiener dog or a lab?  The owner chased it in vain (I wouldn't want to go back to living with him, either).  He ran off down another street and I hoofed it home as fast as I could.  

I had eaten my big meal at work and taken my pills, so I just had to do meal prep for tomorrow.  I chopped vegetables.  I made a salad.  I took my pot roast with kale out of the freezer.  I hard boiled eggs and made tuna salad.  I found a little jar with a screw on cap that will work great for salad dressing.  I mixed cheap store brand Italian dressing with Extra Virgin Olive oil to make a better dressing, and put it in the fridge.  I cut up cheese...you get the idea.  I did not do dishes which I will have to do tomorrow as all this "healthy eating, 6 servings of veggies a day" eating comes with a lot of dishes.  I talked to my aunt, I talked to my parents.  

I did not tell either of them how creepy and sinister the transit center got after dark.  The patrons were OK at 6 PM but I would hate to see it at 9 or 10 PM.  I will be there a lot after dark the coming weeks so I will just have to be smart and bring my stun gun.  And don't act like a victim.  

Last night I got a little cold in bed.  I had a wool blanket, a quilt, a fleece blanket, and a sheet.  So I got Ron's thick sherpa blanket and put that on top.  That was perfect.  The cats love it as they always have.  

That's it for now.  

Saturday morning

The other day at work I saw the gloriously tacky "Santa cat" hoodie.  It was $12.  Yesterday before work I tried them on.  The 21 was too big.  I got the size 19 but honestly I think I could have done a 17, but I didn't want it tight so I didn't try the 17.  

I wore it at work over my t shirt and under my vest.  

I like it a lot.  It's more burgundy and less red than the photo.  It was $12 before my discount.  That will be  pennies a day if I only wear it a few times a week until Christmas.  

I ate right, 6 servings of vegetables last night.  3 cups salad (3 servings), cooked kale in with my pot roast (1), and cut up celery and cucumber (2) with some dressing.  Very pleased with that AND down another pound this morning even with only getting 6 hours sleep.  Impressive.  

This, I can do long term.  I also had a small apple on my last break, I like the energy.  Jack got me.  We had the cold front come through yesterday with some heavy rain BUT I beat it (I asked Dad to pray I would) so I didn't get drenched waiting on my bus.  Yes I brought my rain coat and umbrella but it can only do so much.  

Today I work 9-4 I will be doing that a lot the next couple weeks.  Which means I need a morning ride instead of the usual going home at night ride.  I can always take the bus home when I get off at 4 PM.  

I slept OK in spite of the insane amount of caffeine I consumed.  I am debating if I want to address that right now or just ride it through Christmas and then cut back.  I am leaning toward the latter.  

My only real work issue is a salad dressing container.  We sell some 4 packs of them at work but they are $7 and that just seems like too much to me.  I will need something I just need to figure it out.  

So far I believe I am still "on" with my aunt for next week.  I am very excited about that.  Especially as my fashion-forward coworker said my (I thought they fit OK) pants were baggy and "You need new  pants, girl".  My other pants are very baggy like MC Hammer style so I need to have a fashion show today, figure out what fits, and put what doesn't in the garage.  Worst case we do have some jeans at work for $20-25 according to the shelf tags.  I could just buy one of those if I had to.  

If my aunt doesn't come I will take the cab to the thrift store after Thanksgiving.  Dad said he would pay another weight loss bounty, $100, if I get below 180 for 3 consecutive days and send photos of the scale.  I will probably have done that by then as well so that will be even more to spend.  

I don't have Venmo or anything so he would have to send me a check.  This is fun to think about.  

I am within about 12 pounds of goal that is very nice because I was not actively trying to lose this week, yet lost 2 pounds.  Running around at work counts as exercise with Carb Manager and I think it does in real life, walking around taking public transit is more, eating on point, etc.  For a very long time I did not feel in control of my body, or my mind.  I finally feel like I am getting ahold of both.  

Yes I still go up and down on the mood, Doc said I would, but not as bad.  I think eating better will help with that, too.  

I still want to take Vitamin E for a while before I do the blood test but they were sold out at work.  I am, according to my app, getting 5-8 grams of Omega 3's every day which is bound to be good for me.  I like looking at all the nutrition details, stuff like that I feel like I got my $30 (a year) worth.  

I need to go take my shower.  All done.  

I am wearing a purple sweatshirt (should contrast nicely with work vest) over a navy t shirt and my black jeans that I thought fit OK but are apparently too baggy.  Biscuit is eating which is good.  They don't eat when I'm gone.  

I set my timer on the lamp to come on about when I should get home.  That's it for now.  

A little dab before I go to work

 Very happy.  Getting ready I found a very old ring, it is a silver band with hearts and flowers.  I always liked that ring glad I still have it.  I had to polish it up a bit but it looks good now.  I will wear it to work for a while.  

We are supposed to get severe weather with a cold front later but for now it is sunny for at least the first part of my ride to work.  I will be OK if it is decent for the next hour or so.  

I made up some candy for Jack with my "Value of Trials" tract in it.  I really like that one for hard times.  

Still figuring out how I will negotiate the cat food today, where to put it.  That's it for now.  

Friday morning

 I had an uneventful ride to work aside from a woman at the last bus stop taking up the bench with herself and her bags, reeking of old urine.  The smell of old urine did not bring back pleasant memories for me so I moved pretty far away.  At that bus stop I cannot put my bag on the ground as people eliminate there.  But I got to work OK.  I rode 2 buses with "Buddy" my friend the slower guy, about my age, very kind heart.  We chatted a little.  He gets very upset when people are rude (he is hurt) and is positively wounded by current events.  He has a very kind heart and I find myself wanting to protect him.  He has told me, and meant, if I ever need anything to let him know and I thought that was very sweet.  When I give him candy he saves it and gives it out to little kids on the bus.  

Not sure I mentioned it, but yesterday I thought about my wedding ring as I got out of the shower.  I decided it was loose, and maybe it was time to skip wearing it for a day.  So I did.  I found myself wanting to fiddle with it now and then at work, and trying to wash "around" it when I washed my hands (a lot), but otherwise mentally fine.  So I will keep it off for now.  I can always wear it if I am feeling vulnerable, Valentine's day, that sort of thing.  

I got to work early, 1. to see what kind of meat they had to replace my pork roast, 2.  Pick up my scripts while they were giving them (I am down with having extra as my stuff is not addictive or restricted in any way), and 3.  Drop off some candy with Ann, the lady who works mornings.  

When I got to my work area someone else was there and almost cried when she saw me.  She asked when I could start, I explained I had to eat my lunch but then I could start, maybe around 2.  She pulled out her phone and made a call to the boss who asked me to PLEASE start an hour early, at 2.  So I went and ate my lunch.  I decided to do all my vegetables at once, the salad, the celery sticks, and the kale that was in with the pot roast.  I also had the pot roast of course.  BAM 5 servings of vegetables at once (and I am down to 183 this morning so obviously my body likes it).  

For the groceries I got a turkey leg for Thanksgiving dinner, here in Houston they smoke them and sell them shrink wrapped.  So I got one for that.  I looked at the pork roast and was not impressed, found the meat prices as a rule higher than my local grocer.  So that was all the meat I got unless you count the 4 cans of tuna.  And I got my pills.  

I used to buy a bag of Snickers fun sized and give that to the pharmacy tech when I got my pills because I feel like, hey, you're saving my life, giving me a great quality of life, the least I can do is give you a little candy.  And I'm the candy lady (that would probably be my blog title if I ever got rid of Heather Knits) anyway it's in my blood.  So I did that for a long time.  It was just part of the price.  But then they started saying no they couldn't do that.  A month or two ago I started buying the fun size again, telling them to staple the receipt to the bag, and then giving them the bag (so they wouldn't get in trouble for stealing), and they took it.  So I did that yesterday, too.  This time I gave it to the nice "drop off" lady who helped fix my scripts a couple times when Doc forgot to do the refills on my antipsychotic.  So I will keep doing that as long as they will take it.  I generally only do one refill every 3 months so not a burden on me.  

I also took some candy in (no booklet) for my coworkers and that was a big hit except with one lady who is very slim and said she doesn't eat candy.  I asked her if she liked apples as I have a lot of very nice apples at home.  She got very excited and said she loves apples, so that's easy.  I put one in my lunch bag for her.  I want to be a light at work even if I am not directly sharing my faith.  

The app logged me out right before I started so I had to go to personnel.  If you want the details I have 2 step notification but when it sends the code I cannot see it in the app.  Right before lunch my tech guy walked by so I grabbed him and he fixed it.  He likes a certain kind of Gatorade you can only get at Krroger.  Where do I get my greens?  Kroger.  So I got the names of the drinks from him and I will get more next week when I go for more kale.  As requested, I did start an hour early.  

So far I still seem to be "On" for seeing my aunt next week.  I had a busy night at work and Jack was waiting outside the door when I left.  I feel for him as I have been there and we have a few things in common, we both knew death was coming to our loved one but we didn't expect it so fast.  He doesn't talk about it and I don't pry, I just say things like "Be easy on yourself" and "It really does get better" stuff I needed to hear after Ron died.  Again, I hope I can be a light.  

He is happy to take me in the morning all weekend (8 AM pickups 3 days in a row) which is great as I have the early morning thing next weekend too.  

I called my parents, they are doing well.  I guess I incited them to get their own pot roast and they have been working on that.  Dad gets very excited about gravy, has his whole life.  And she made a big batch with the meat juice.  So he's happy as a clam.  

They have several groups and outreach things they are involved in which keeps them busy.  I am happy to see that.  The big problem with my in laws they just sat in front of the TV and watched soap operas every day.  They never went out or had people over, it's not surprising they both ended up with dementia.  

Ron's family, including his mother, had plotted to have him placed in a nursing home.  And that is where she ended up.  Talk about ironic.  Whereas Ron died at home just how he wanted, legally drunk 😂 and seizure free.  

Today I need to make up some tuna for dinner.  I will have nuts, cheese, and possibly some yogurt for breakfast (no sweetener).  Then for lunch pot roast, kale, and salad.  Dinner will be tuna and celery.  Last break (or first one depending if they have me punch early) will be a cut up apple.  I like them cut up, have ever since I got braces at age 13.  I already have evening pills done up, the extra apple for my co worker, etc.  

I also need to do up candy for my rides.  I did do up more candy for work.  I also need to buy more pinata mix if they have it, and cat food as I am getting low.  Praying we do have the Iams Urinary in stock.  If they don't I guess I will go with Chewy.  But that will be fun coming home, a 5 pound bag of pinata mix and a 7 pound bag of cat food, but I am paying for the ride anyway so I might as well take advantage.  It would be impossible to get home (very difficult) on the bus.  

That's it for now.  

Thursday morning

I really prefer older cats to kittens, kittens are very cute and I love their little meows, but the energy is a little much.  That's why I find it funny my last 4 cats I got as kittens.  

They came in pairs.  Biscuit and Gravy in 2015, Cleo and Spotty in 2019.  If I had to get kittens again I would get a pair, they have a built in playmate and best friend.  I would also get black ones if I got to pick because I love black cats and they have terrible adoption rates.  

I wear a lot of black, and dark colors, and I have 3 (mostly) white cats.  It's a lot of cat hair to the point my aunt bought me 2 lint rollers when I started my job hunt last year.  Don't get me wrong I love my gang and would not give them up for anything, but if I ever find myself at the shelter again I would ask for the older cat room, get a black cat or one with one eye, three legs, that sort of thing, the one no one wants.  Because that is going to be the most awesome cat in the place.  

I am getting ready to take my shower and then I just need to do my God Time, get dressed, bag up my candy.  I could not find pinata mix so today's candy offering is going to be an odd mix of butterscotch, cinnamon disks, peppermints, and Mexican caramels so good all the drivers were asking for more the next time they saw me.  I think I can get pinata mix at work.  

Problem, I need to buy cat food (7 pound bag), I also need to get my refills (if they want to give it to me I will damn sure take it, I need that stuff to stay alive!), and some sort of meat for the next couple days (see "Tragic" blog for details on that).  Do I have room in my bag for a 5 pound sack of pinata mix?  Or should I wait until tomorrow?  I think I will likely wait unless they don't have the cat food.  

And I need to get going on that... all done.  

I called Jack and we laughed about him forgetting me last week.  That sort of thing doesn't bother me.  It really takes a lot to get me upset.  Hateful, nasty, talk, even if the words are "fine", will get me.  That's verbal abuse.  Ron used to say I would "tone" him, the words would be fine but the tone that upset him.  A couple of my bosses do that, derogatory tone of voice when asking me to do things.  They don't realize that kills morale.  I'm doing the work regardless but I would rather have a respectful tone of voice and no donut day vs. the alternative.  Donuts only cover so much.  

Anyway it is a nice day.  I have my lunch packed, a nice salad, some celery sticks, cheese, tuna salad (not at the same time!), and the pot roast on a nice bed of steamed kale.  I am very proud of myself.  

I never really wanted to take care of myself.  Depression would be too bad or just beaten down and exhausted caring for Ron.  

I took my wedding ring off, it is loose and even fits on my right hand loosely.  I need to decide if I want to get a size 7 titanium ring (I like titanium I can wear it when I do my housecleaning or put dishes in the bleach-based sanitizer solution), or leave it off.  I can't help but think my jewelry box may be packed away somewhere in the garage.  I should go looking; I had a nice titanium band in a 7.  

I am wearing my Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda size 18 bootcut jeans.  They are baggy in the pelvis area.  Does that mean I "could fit" a 16?  I don't know.  I will have to see if they have any 16's at the thrift shop.  They tend to have a lot of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, though.  I like these they are fun, but way too long, so I rolled them up.  I think talls were sold as regulars.  They are way longer than 30 inches, but rolled up they are cute.  And how long will I be wearing this size, anyway?  They are already pretty loose.  

I need to get my prescription when I go to work, and I need to check out meat options for dinner the upcoming week.  I brought an extra insulated bag and a quart sized Gatorade bottle I filled with water and froze solid.  That should keep any raw meat cold long enough to get it home.  I will ask God to point something out.  I don't need much a pound or two of meat would do it, depending on the meat.  I am not crazy about Walmart's frozen ground turkey it has a lot of blood/juice in it which leaks out and makes a smelly, awful, mess as it thaws.  Enough to make me a vegetarian.  But I will find something.  

That's it for now.  I may do an update on my lunch at work.  

I find this tragic

I am taking a moment to mourn a loss.  

Monday I went to the local store that has the good meat prices, good food safety (every time the meat people come out on the sales floor they are dressed properly and have the hair net), and nice smaller portions for people like me that I can actually afford.  

They had a lovely pot roast for $5.37 which I bought and has made 5 nice meals for work.  They also had some pieces of pork roast they said "for carnitas" but those cuts do well in a crock pot I read so I bought them.  Also about $5.  

I made the pot roast and it turned out really well, did up my portions with the kale and the juice all over everything because the juice is really good (recipe in preceding blog).  Oh, boy, how would my pork roast turn out!  

Last night I had some energy for a change, so after I did the dishes I set up the pork roast.  I had the liner bag in the crock pot.  I had the meat filling it up, nice marbled chunks with a good amount of fat (fat is my friend on keto), the meat just looked fantastic.  I was so excited.  I decided to set it up on my wall timer to cook overnight.  I set it to cook from 11 PM to 7 AM.  I added the broth, I added the red wine.  I added the spices and tenderly closed the lid and went to bed, bubbling with anticipation.  

I didn't smell it cooking last night but I don't smell it when I use a liner.  That can be good or bad depending.  So this morning I woke up and ran to the kitchen.  Only to find a crock pot full of raw, tepid, meat and the controller set to OFF.  The power came on alright, but the power was set to OFF instead of LOW so it didn't cook.  

WASTED.  RUINED.  I can't even give the meat to Jack's dog because she is on a limited ingredient diet.  Oh I was so disappointed.  Still am.  I was looking FORWARD to that meat.  

Now I have to figure out something at work for my next 4 meals (I made tuna for my second meal at work today).  Do I do more tuna?  Some frozen ground beef then cook it with taco seasonings?  Try to find another pork roast?  I have no idea, I will look, though.  

But I am taking a moment to be sad over it.  Now my thought on this maybe the meat was not processed correctly and would have made me sick if I had cooked it.  So God did me a favor allowing me to forget to turn on the crock pot.  

I'll know one day.  

Meal prep

 The pot roast came out FANTASTIC so I will share the recipe.  

2 pound pot roast (I used arm roast)

1/2 cup red wine 

1/2 cup good beef stock (I got tetra pak)

1/4 t salt

1/4 t pepper 

For you I would advise 1-2 handfuls chopped onion and a garlic clove or two in the bottom of the crockpot.   I am allergic to garlic and not fond of onions, but you are.  :)  

Use a crock pot liner, much easier.  Put onions and garlic, meat, pour liquid over the top and then add seasonings.  I cooked mine 8 hours on low.  

It was very easy and very tasty, looking forward to dinner now at work.  So I cooked my organic kale, about half the bag.  I put about a cup of cooked kale (2 servings veggies) in the bottom of each container, added about 4 ounces roast and a ladle of juice with some beef fat.  That was the first container.  I also used some of the broth to cook the kale (ladled over the raw greens before microwaving).  

Second container was a 3 cup rectangle.  I put 3 cups mixed organic greens in a container (could not do x 5 like I could with the meat/kale mix so I will do this every night), cut up 2 stalks of celery and added that to the container.  The celery helped hold the greens down.  I am thinking to buy a bottle of dressing at work tomorrow and just carry it in my bag.  

I will have tuna for dinner, lunch will be the pot roast.  

Then I cut up cheese, 2 ounce portions, one for breakfast, one for snack.  I think that will hold me.  That is, count it, 6 servings of vegetables, one of fruit (plan to bring a cut up apple), meat, fish, dairy, mixed greens.  I think that is a good start.  

I never wanted to eat right until I started losing weight and began pulling out of my grief.  I actually don't mind doing the meal prep as long as I have the time to do it, and that's the nice thing about being single.  I do have the time.  

My aunt has said she is going to try to get here next week, that should be fun if it happens.  

Finally a small mania

 Good timing, too.  I had to do all my cleaning and cooking today.  I have made great inroads so far.  I got more fresh veggies - I am in love with Kroger greens.  Organic kale!  Organic baby greens mix!  I also got some chicken broth, not organic.  

I looked at the organic broth, it had chicken flavor in it.  The regular store brand broth did not, it just had plain chicken stock which is what I wanted.  

Now you may wonder why I prefer organic produce.  It is pretty simple, I think it is better for me, has more nutrients, and tastes better.  

Ron and I did an experiment and I don't think I have shared this.  In my other post I talked about my organic co op box delivery.  Every 2 weeks they would bring the produce I had approved.  When I signed up they gave me a long list of every fruit and vegetable known to man.  I checked all the ones I would like to see, they would put in whatever matched (seasonal), and was available.  Overall I got good stuff I loved.  

Ron was a skeptic.  Why was organic such a big deal?  At the time I was pretty serious about sustainable eating and even had a subscription to Organic Gardening.  

I had an idea.  I had different colored plates.  I also had a lovely bunch of grapes from my box.  I went to the Safeway and bought a similar looking bunch of grapes, also white.  I put one on a blue plate and the organic on the green plate, put them both on the table.  

I told Ron, try both.  Whichever one you eat more of is what I'll buy from now on.  It's a truly blind taste test and I am sure you will find one you prefer.  Then I went to the thrift store.  

I came back in an hour or two and the green plate had been eaten down to the stem.  Ron literally ate 1-2 pounds of grapes in one sitting.  The blue plate had a few grapes missing but was intact.  I told Ron he had eaten the organic grapes, he said "They were much better, I believe you now" and that was the end of the discussion.  

Of course finances and depression being what they were I didn't feel much like taking care of myself the last several years.  But I do now.  And I can afford the organic greens, less than $10 for a pound of ready to eat kale and a pound of ready to eat salad, that can cover pretty much all my organic vegetable needs.  

You can google "the dirty dozen" and find that greens are most often contaminated with pesticides so it is a good idea to get them, at least, organic.  I did buy conventional cucumber and celery this week.  I also bought conventional apples as they were very affordable and I wash them before eating anyway.  I also bought conventional pumpkin in a can.  

I tried making pumpkin pudding and it did not turn out.  So I need to figure out a way to make the puree palatable.  I do like the idea of eating an "orange" vegetable regularly.  

So that's it for now.