Wednesday morning

I slept pretty well.  A lot of ants in my "real" bed when I went to sleep so slept in Ron's room; ants are gone this morning hopefully for good.  

I had an interesting dream.  The gist of it people were getting saved out of what I was doing and that made (makes) me happy.  I have to figure someone has... and I have talked to my drivers about losing Ron so they know I haven't had an easy time.  It is much easier to listen to someone who has "been there" than someone who has had an easy life.  No one "wants" to ride the bus either so it is obvious there are other issues as well.  

I remember as a teen, I had an older step brother and an older step sister.  The brother was a couple years older than me and had a used car that was always breaking down and expen$ive repairs.  He talked once about wanting to live on his own but could not due to the car expenses, he didn't make enough money to have both a car and his own place.  To him, the car was more important so he had that.  

I resolved about that time when I got old enough I would save up for my own place vs. having a car and it has worked that way some 30 years later.  I have my own place, a very nice one I think.  But I do not have easy or cheap transportation.  I am OK with that as I hope I minister to the bus drivers.  

So that wasn't a bad way to wake up.  I never dream about Ron.  I guess because I know where he is I don't have all that angst.  I am also OK with God taking him when he did, God allowed such an awful decline death was really the only answer to that.  And the heart attack was quick and his expression was peaceful.  I have peace on that.  

I just got a spam message for luxury bags and high heels.  I have a "nioxin" bag I got at the thrift store I think it was a promotional giveaway for a hair product.  It works very nice and looks like a leather purse.  I have a fanny pack when I don't want to impress anyone.  That is all I need.  And I never, ever, wear heels.  I wore flats twice in the last year both times Dad took me to a nice steakhouse in Houston.  I guess I will take those flats to CA if my boss ever approves my time off.  

My younger stepbrother is going to visit my Dad next week Dad is very excited about it.  He raised this man from infancy and considers all of her kids his own.  I find that commendable of Dad a lot of men would not have taught step children how to drive, or sent them to college, but Dad did it cheerfully.  He considers their kids his grandkids which is great for me as I was never having children with Ron.  Theoretically it is not too late for me but odds are very high the child would have a birth defect so if I remarry I plan to practice birth control.  

I am going to go ahead and get my shower over with.  That's done and they are on their way, so that's it for now.