Sunday morning

I did not tell my Dad about this but was "coached" I think they call it at work yesterday.  "You can do better".  The weird thing for me is this would have applied last year during the whole widow adjustment  thing and also during my reaction to some revelations like Ron having dementia.  But this year I am a lot more productive.  Not productive enough, apparently.  

I will have a better feel for this when I go in today.  Suffice to say I feel like I am a hard worker.  Other than that the day went fine.  

I didn't get a formal writeup, and a couple of other people in my department have had this happen and are still there so I am not overly worried but I depend on this job for my living so there's that.  But I will do my best and we will see how that goes.  

It does make me think maybe I need to go for disability.  I only make about $1200 a month in a good month so pretty sure I qualify.  I will be glad when I get paid Wednesday.  

I need to sprinkle that poison around my house, run the soaker hose, and then roll up soaker hose as good odds yard guy will weed whack it if I leave it out around the foundation.  When I get paid need to do my budget stuff but that will wait until Wednesday.  

And I scared myself silly.  I couldn't get my computer to work yesterday.  I like to put a notebook down on the table and use that as a mouse pad.  I had the slick, colored, surface facing up.  And the mouse wouldn't work.  I moved the mouse to a a different USB port and everything.  No luck.  Today I decided to flip the mouse pad over and it worked great so I feel kind of foolish.  But I got it.  Thank God I had not called the computer guy.  

One last thought: I do not do well with a fear based management style.  I do better with encouragement vs. threats.  I will still work hard it is just not my preferred method, but almost every employer does it this way.  Focus on what I did well. That's just my take, but I'm not trying to wrangle recalcitrant employees, either.  

I actually had a couple of people walk off the job when I was running the deli so there's that!  They never said anything to me they just left.  Of course I wasn't medicated at the time, either. 

I feel better after doing my God Time, God is on the throne I just need to go in and do it every day.  A good goal:  "Why can't you be a good worker like Heather?"  She did say she had talked to everyone else in my department about performance.  So I'm not singled out even though it feels a little that way.  

Anyway I need to get ready to go.  Some other things I want to do on my days off: laundry, organize closet/dresser, poison ants and other bugs (the stuff I got is vile and I will be using gloves when I apply), do some meal prep/cooking, etc.  

I also need to buy a little tuna, some sausage, and measuring cups.  I also want to look at deodorant as my current stick is about done.  Antiperspirant actually.  I use a lot because I am out in swamp level humidity, heat, sun, carrying a heavy bag waiting on my bus walking long distances...I need all the protection I can get.  They had a nice gardenia one last year if they have that again I may get that... it was degree.  I am happy with Arm and Hammer but will see.  I am not "out" just using up a stick and looking at other possibilities.  

I have 45 minutes, will be back if I can.  That's it for now.  

At least I can get back in now...if I stop posting for a few days I am likely fine but having some sort of computer issue.