Still depressed

I got on the exercise bike for a while, had some lap time with the boy cats, and took a b vitamin.  Hopefully that will help.  I also sat outside in the sun for about an hour and also called my aunt to chat.  She plans to come out the next couple weeks.  I send her and Mom copies of my schedule so they know when I'm off/working odd hours so she has that.  

Prime day is coming up; a few years ago I bought Ron a really nice jacket (which I donated along with all his other clothes) so I am hoping maybe I can find one this year, although layering the fleece shirt over a hoodie worked OK last winter.  I do have one of the Prime days off so I will see.  Not much else I need, just some loppers and a soaker hose for the house.  

I didn't buy groceries today so I need to go do dishes, so I don't have a mountain of tasks tomorrow.  I think I am up for grocery shop and cooking, if I can do the cleaning today.... I can, I just need to get up and do it.  

I really share all this in the hope it helps someone else with depression.  I tried to take a nap but couldn't fall asleep.  I did manage to figure out my cell phone.  

Last year my phone died right in the middle of my job hunt.  I had very limited funds and had to get the cheapest one I could.  So I did.  It has about 16 Gigs.  I was down to 500 megs and my phone kept yelling at me.  

I managed to figure out Youtube music.  It was either trim the 2 Gigs Youtube music was taking, delete You Tube, or delete Uber which I am not willing to do.  I managed to trim the 2 gigs down to 500 Megs so I am happy.  My phone is happy too.  

It's a good phone it works great, I have dropped it more than once and it still runs great.  

I just got the electric bill it was $141.  That is better than I hoped it seems like all the system does is run run run when I am home.  I was worried.  So yay.  

I was happy about that... as happy as I can be today.  Just a bad day feeling sorry for myself.  "I am poor"  "I am a widow".  "I work horrible hours working retail"  "Nobody loves me" etc.  

I need to reread my book on saying positive things to yourself.  I decided to make myself a treat and made a PBJ with my soy peanut butter.  And wow that was 75 carb grams.  I used to eat two of them...that's a lot.  But an occasional treat I don't see a problem, but for reference that is 2 donuts' worth of carbs.  

I like to keep things in context... anyway I will ramble some more and add things as I think them up.   

I made a protein shake for dinner.  I also had some coconut oil.  Took my pills that is the important thing.  That's it for now.  

Maybe I'll see some weight loss tonight.