I had a good laugh during my Bible study

 I slept awful, woke up at 3.  Really sick of waking up at 3.  I woke up at 7:30.  I did my Bible study.  

I was thinking about the Bible verses where God says He will never leave us or forsake us.  I read another good one from Job "Though He slay me, I will trust in Him" (Job 13:15).  

Some time back I had a real lump in my faith I just had a hard time believing God was sovereign.  It was a bad time but happily I got through it and had some time to build my faith back before Ron died.  I would have hated to lose Ron in the middle of that.  So I am grateful for that and I do what I can to preserve my faith by doing Bible study and praying.  

Anyway I was reading one of my Bible things - at some point I may list ALL of what I read every day, but it's a lot.  So I was reading one of my daily Bible things and I had gotten to the "Brother's duty to the childless widow".  That's right.  The husband's brother was required to sleep with the widow until she got pregnant and could have a child to carry on her deceased husband's legacy.  

And I had to laugh because I cannot imagine anything more horrible than sleeping with Ron's brother.  I would sleep with a woman first and I am NOT into women.  Thank God that is the OLD law and Jesus instituted a new one.  I am to respect Ron's family (difficult, at times), love them (God give me what I need for that), evangelize them if possible (I tried, after the accident).  Pray for them daily, yes, do that.  

But that is it happily I do not have to raise up a child to Ron's memory.  And to be blunt the family's DNA leaves a lot to be desired if I was going to have a child I would pick a healthy man with no history of birth defects like Ron had (abnormal back and congenital glaucoma, they also had many deaf relatives and some who were born slow).  I would want a healthy child because life is hard enough already.  

BUT at my age my eggs are expired.  Not that I would want to bring a child into this cesspool.  

So thanking God I don't have to do that.  That would just be beyond awful.  

On hearing of my division of the ashes my uncle mentioned I could send some ashes to Ron's brother and sister.  1.  They are Catholic and the church does not like cremation.  They say ashes have to be buried in a grave.  If they heard I had Ron cremated they were probably very upset.   2.  They were horrible to Ron when he was alive, I doubt they would want his ashes now.  3.  Ron's remains are my property and I am not sharing him with them.  My prerogative.  

I am glad I had Ron "done" I suppose I could have left him with the county for their disposal but I couldn't do that to him.  I always wanted him back.  Props to my Dad for paying for the cremation.  At the time I had $16 in my checking.  I am very happy with the way the place handled him.  And my aunt seems happy too (she was the liaison).  Happier when she gets the death certificate but that's not the cremation place.  It is the medical examiner.  They have to find a cause of death.  

That is one problem with something like this an unknown number is going to call me and give me the cause of death at some point.  I just have to wait and answer every local call until that happens.  That means I get a lot of spam, but that's going to happen on the job hunt, too.  

I am OK with that but I will be glad when I go back to ignoring everyone not in my phone book.  

That's it for now.