Let's see if this works.
It did! I found an image I hadn't seen, for Ron. I won't tell you how old this photo is but it's old. I like to think that is now he looks now. Not like he was at the end.
Anyway I think he's adorable, and I like thinking about the laugh lines he had at the end and how I helped put them there. Interesting to note he already has a high hairline in the photo, a precursor to his male pattern baldness.
Today I have been battling some anger, at the man who ran over Ron (of course) and Ron's brother, who wasn't very fraternal. Anger is a normal stage of grief and I remind myself of that. I will get through this.
Love big, hurt big when you lose them, and you will, one way or another. Or they lose you. It would have destroyed Ron to lose me first. I was his everything... he was huge in my life but I had my online life and some family aside... Ron had me, and Baby Girl. And if I had died or left him he wouldn't have even had Baby Girl.
Am I sorry I loved him so deeply? No. I never regretted loving him (for long). Did I know it would be this hard? No. I always assumed I would be a lot older, or, frankly, that we would go together somehow. I just didn't think about it.
Well here I am unemployed and grieving. It's pretty horrible. But I have to think it will get better. I just need to be patient.
God has my back, I just need to trust His plan and hustle appropriately.
That's it for now.
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