Easter

I didn't sleep well but I got up and got ready on time.  I was ready half an hour early; I've always preferred to do that.  Ron was a procrastinator.  I won't miss that, used to drive me nuts.  

Anyway my uncle came and got me, I showed him the urn he was nice about it.  We went back to their house and got my aunt, then went to church.  

They have nice people there, friendly but not pushy.  However, I started crying from pretty much the minute the service started.  I wasn't ugly crying, sobbing or anything like that but tears running down my face and wiping my nose with my (THANK GOD I brought my) hanky.  I found it embarrassing I have found I am rather stoic about my emotions and see crying as a sign of insufferable weakness.  Not correct, I know.  So I sat and stood and sat some more weeping away.  It was profoundly embarrassing.  I did manage to gag it by the time the pastor started the sermon.  He looked at me a few times, and, after I had started crying, had mentioned something about "worshipping as you are able" which I appreciated as I wasn't up for the liturgy or singing at all.  

It's just too soon to Ron.  I didn't want to think about death and resurrection.  I had a hard time with the hymn "Christ the Lord is Risen Today".   I would have left if I felt I was being disruptive but I was very quiet and you couldn't tell unless you looked at my face.  I think I cried more today than I did since Ron died.  

I got through it, though.  Dad says I can expect more of this in the future "and it is OK".  After church we socialized a little and then left to go out to eat.  We had Mexican.  The waitress liked the Bible I gave her so much she brought another employee who wanted one for himself.  Happily I had plenty.  So please pray for them.  

We went back to the house and hung out for a while, ran to the neighborhood Walmart for groceries, went back to the house (remember my love language is quality time).  Eventually they took me home.  

My aunt wanted to look at Ron's urn, fine with me.  I don't think she expected it to be that heavy, though.  When she put it back she accidentally knocked the flowers down.  But I had been wanting to re fasten them anyway so I had her hold them tight to the bookcase while I ran 2 zip ties to secure it.  It looks good.  I am happy.  

They left.  I did find it interesting Baby Girl was flirting with my uncle.  Generally that is Torbie's job.  Biscuit and Cleo fled in terror.  

I got a couple of texts including one from my sister, and my brother called.  That was nice it is appreciated.  That's it for now, though.