Tuesday

 Another night of not sleeping great but I had Cleo cuddled in like a tick it was adorable.  If I had to wake up at least it was to her sweet little face.  Ron was always so impressed I had tamed her but I always reminded him his treats and petting opened the door for that.  She felt very safe approaching him for treats and pets.  Now, Baby Girl was a bitch, very possessive of Ron, otherwise Cleo may have well become Ron's cat.  

I got up.  I really had second thoughts about going to the lab for my blood test.  I finally got going, though.  I took a Uber there and it was cheap enough it only cost me $5 for the return trip, so I took Uber both ways.  I am sure they were happy for the business.  

But first I did my God Time and drank 3 bottles of water.  I got to the lab and walked in, told them what I wanted.  They had me fill out some forms and pay, then took me back.  

It was an older lady I felt very confident until she started poking timidly at my elbows saying "I don't know..."  two BAD sticks later she called in her boss.  Boss was able to get it on the first try.  You can't see the vein but it is there you just have to take your time feeling it, tie me off, slap it a few times (my experience over 40 years living in this body).  They finally got it and took an extra vial just in case (I was fine with that I did not want another stick anytime soon).  But my arms don't look too bad, really, a little mild bruising but not really notable unless you are looking.  

So I guess I need to start up with the kettlebells and build up bigger veins.  I also had the tremor activate like some horrid superpower so the phlebotomy gals were trying to hit a moving target.  Very embarrassing.  Tremor doesn't usually upset me unless I am getting blood drawn.  It was present yesterday during the printer install but not awful, I could still work on it and the computer.  

My aunt is feeling better she is going to do a POA for me.  I am fine for that letting her handle the business.  I really don't want to do it myself.  We will have to get it notarized though.  Maybe the same place that did the will...

So hopefully at the end of it I have a DNR, Medical power of attorney (so she can unplug me or make decisions for me), and regular power of attorney so we can handle Ron's estate.  She did talk to the mortgage company so that ought to be interesting.  They have a team that will help her.  

Once we get the mortgage paid off (one way or another) I will tell you who we used but not right now.  But the POA will help her a lot and I trust her.  

If anything she is more liable to make a deposit into my checking account.  😂  And yes she does read on occasion.  

The other cats are good they all got (dry, urinary formula) breakfast this morning.  #2 was embarrassed by my immaculate lawn (best on the block!) so they called their guy to come out.  I have noticed sort of a reverse broken windows syndrome with my yard, my yard will look very bad, o0ther people let their yards go, my guy comes out, yard is perfect, they fix up their yards too.  

I don't know if I will lose the house.  I would need a job to get a mortgage.  If the insurance doesn't pay for whatever reason I will have to figure something out.  

I remember reading a really cute historical romance set back in the early 1900's, a young woman lost her mother and, on the verge of losing the home, took in an assortment of eclectic boarders.  Then she met the new veterinarian and fell in love, it was very cute.  I read it several times.  

I will NOT be taking in boarders I have seen too many tv courtroom shows.  

My aunt and uncle are coming out to get the power of attorney done.  Between us I just have this really strong feeling I am going to die soon (NOT suicidal just a strong feeling) and she may need it.  DID NOT say anything to anyone.  Just you guys.  

Ron told me once, when he was dead God told him I would be with him "next time".  So who knows.  I am ready to go if it is my time life sure ain't fun without him.  But I need to be here for the cats if nothing else.  And I have people who love me and would be hurt which is why I am not going to do anything.  Not to mention God has a plan for me and I would screw it up.  So not doing anything just to be 1000% clear.  Just a ominous feeling.  

I do feel like I have done a lot in my life.  I am praying every day in addition to doing my God time, more involved intercessory "Please help the missionaries, please help the people who produce Gospel material, please be with world leaders, etc" prayer.  I do feel better when I do that.  

I do need to get more candy and bags.  And order more booklets.  As before, I am seeing a need for Spanish booklets.  I am a conservative in pretty much everything so you can guess how I feel about an open border.  BUT those not here legally have helped me so I respect that.  And I might as well share Jesus while they are in Houston because none of us knows how long we have.  And I can't stand by and let someone go to hell.  It is one thing to curse someone "Go to hell" it is another to actually let that happen - a horrible thing.  May I never do that!  So I need more Spanish material (I reached this conclusion some years back) and World Missionary Press, and Grace and Truth, will be more than happy to send me Spanish material.  So if I don't go anywhere today I will have some candy, etc. delivered tomorrow and get off my butt and order some Spanish tonight as well.  Probably need more English I only have about 20 left.  

On a good day I can hand out several items.  Back in my heyday I was ordering cases of 500 Scripture booklets at a time.  Which brings up a question, how did the devil think I would react to losing Ron?  Get bitter towards God?  Throw out my Bible?  Me I could have figured I would dig into my faith and reach out more, I tend to react to adversity like that.  I guess I won't know until judgement day what the devil's plan was.  

Speaking of devils I am really glad Ron's "friend" (the one who told me I couldn't grieve Ron in front of my next man, and wanted to know when I was going to start dating literally 3 weeks after Ron died) stopped calling.  He is a gossip and I don't have much tolerance for them.  

It is one thing to spill my guts here, although I do consider employers may be reading as well, it is another for someone to pump me for "How was Ron's mood before he died?" etc. so he can go blab blab blab.  Ugh!  So GLAD he is not calling.  

I am going to go sit outside for a while before they pick me up.