Sunday afternoon

 I was thinking about something today.  My friend (I still consider her this after the following) made a comment to me about how if I "like my job" I had better to A, B, C which I do already.  At another point she made the comment that "big changes are coming in the department in January everyone better look out".  Well I am a hard worker but I hate people making comments like that.  

I will say dead weight in the department drags down morale and productivity for everyone.  But I hate those kind of threats; I really do much better with Y management tell me what you LIKE me doing, give me a compliment now and then instead of threats.  

And it's my day off so that's all I'm writing.  I tried to take a nap with the cats but I couldn't sleep, I did move the clothes along.  

Watching TV everyone wants my $19 a month.  1, the head of the ASPCA makes a million dollars a year, if they are serious about saving animals they need to re examine that.  2.  I am not giving abortion providers money.  3.  I have heard from actual wounded vets about the "care" they got from a popular non profit and I believe them.  

So I guess I will be spending it on candy.  

I need to figure out meals too.  

I took a little nap in Ron's room; the cats were all over my bed looking SO cute I couldn't bear to move them.  But I forgot Spotty likes to sleep on that guest room pillow so my allergies are pretty bad right now.  Biscuit is next to me on the couch - the couch is right next to the computer.  

I still need to figure out meals though.  

Sunday morning

 I have been trying to figure out my fatigue lately and I think I have part of it sorted out.  

When my last bottle of (with iron) vitamins ran out my cycles weren't very regular so I got the vitamins without iron.  And then the cycles started up again and they're heavy.  One thing I read some time back you can look at the creases in your hand, are they darker, or the same color?  If they are the same color as the rest of your hand you may need iron.  And mine are pale.  

A little iron won't hurt.  

So it was funny this morning I still had some of the pound cake left.  I cut off some and had it on a plate and took it with me when I went to do my God time.  I had it in my lap.  

Biscuit got up in my lap and stepped on it a few times.  So I put it on the floor.  Then Cleo showed up and started licking it, she kept coming back for more.  

So much for breakfast!  I am working on laundry and some housework.  A nap is planned.  

I need to do up my pills as well.  

That's it for now.  

Well I tried the neti pot

 I did everything as I should.  The water was a little cool, and that was unpleasant, and it's just not fun having a stream of salt water running through my sinuses.  But it won't give me a migraine and that's what matters.  

Speaking of I need to take my allergy pill and see if that is a migraine trigger.  

I need to figure out how to handle this

 A month or so back I met a new employee who introduced herself as so and so's granddaughter.  I said I didn't know the lady, it took her aback.  She said, well, the boss knows my grandmother.  Fine.  

Except this woman will not do a SPECK of work.  I mean, ZERO.  I can't say much without revealing my job but she is always buried in her cell phone, hides a lot, etc.  I went back to personnel last night because the manager said some computer classes had "dropped" and we should get them quickly, I went and checked (I had none), she was back in personnel yucking it up with her friends.  

One of my friends is the boss' chief snitch.  Even the boss says this "So and so tells me everything that goes on" etc.  Unfortunately last night I was assigned my primary job (not a problem) and secondary job helping this girl.  She wandered around while I was doing my primary job but when I finished and began assisting she took off and hid somewhere.  She had been working for 5 hours at this point and the place was a mess.  I told my friend all about this, knowing it will get back to the boss.  

She has talked to the boss about this and the boss said "She's just out of high school we have to give her some time".  I also think she may be intellectually limited she just doesn't "think".  If there is merchandise on the floor I need to pick it up and put it back, if things are out of order I need to arrange them, etc.  Simply put she can't or won't do the job.  

Last night I was putting things on her cart she needed to do.  Her answer was to ditch the cart somewhere and complain "They took my stuff".  No, she got rid of the cart so I couldn't "make" her work.  

Some of the young kids have no work ethic.  They believe their "job" is to show up and be present at the workplace the whole shift only, not to do any actual work while they are there.  The way they see it, they can talk to customers all night, text their friends, etc. but they don't "have" to work.  

She reminds me of a famous "quit" at the Post Office.  It is very hard to get hired on so it was remarkable when one new hire walked off the job halfway into his shift.  One of the Postal Workers chased him down and asked him why he was leaving "They want me to work!" he said.  It became a byword at the plant for a while "They want me to work!"  

That's the thing, the employer wants you to work.  You can't just show up 5 days a week, not do anything, and expect to collect your check.  

I need to figure out how to cover my back without looking like a tattler in this.  

I was doing OK

 Even with all the potholes on my way to work.  But while I was doing the grocery zone an employee came up stood very close following me around.  Normally I wouldn't think anything of it but he REEKED of Love's Baby Soft cologne it was so strong I was gagging on it.  Awful.  He finally went away but I had to take Excedrin after

Friday night

 There is a newer associate at work who is apparently related to someone the boss knows.  She has spent most of her time "letting" me do most of the work while she hides and spends the majority of her time texting.  

When this was brought up to the boss (not by me) the boss said she is just a kid and we have to give her time.  Tonight I took off the training wheels and it has been funny to see her reaction.  If I thought she was hiding before she really is now.  But it's stupid because management has snitches everywhere not to mention the 10,000 cameras all over the store.  

I am looking forward to getting some sleep tonight I am exhausted.  Migraines always take a lot out of me.  

I couldn't take my allergy medicine because the spray gave me the migraine so I have been coughing all day.  I will try just the allergy pill tomorrow and see if that helps.

I am already well over 8K steps on the Fitbit today.  I am not surprised.  

That's it for now!  

My head doesn't hurt much

 But I am very run down and crappy feeling.  It's also really cold out and very bright.  Bright sun doesn't really pair well with migraines.  I try to be a positive and upbeat person but I am not looking forward to today.  

I did get a protein shake down so I don't need to worry about low blood sugar headaches.  

I crawled out from under...

 I didn't vomit but that was a pretty brutal migraine compounded by allergies.  I was coughing a lot because the cats were close and that just made my head rage.  That's an entire day of my life I won't get back.  

Oh, that was dreadful.  I need to get back to logging my foods so I can figure out my triggers.  

That's it for now.  

Horrible migraine today

 I had to call out, it was pretty awful.  Still is.  Biscuit slept with me he's a great cat.  

My new watch band arrived for the fit bit so I'm wearing it now.  

I didn't throw up but I am queasy with a killer migraine.  

I feel like I hit a wall

 I bought another diet dew hopefully that will do it.  I only have 2 hours when I go back.

I noticed a lot of customers are coughing when they walk under a certain air vent so I have a theory.

Boss (not the main one) is being unreasonable.  I am not going to argue.  Main boss is off today but this one is almost worse   And that's saying a lot.

Not to mention I just feel exhausted.  

Sorry to be such a downer.  That's it for now.  

I got some clearance chocolate

 I was very excited to score a "Santa's Sack" in addition to some very nice looking Dove milk chocolate.  Some for coworkers some for recipients.

My new jacket worked but tomorrow I will wear a thermal top AND bottom.  I remain faithful to my battered wool Navy surplus hat.  I forgot my scarf and could have used it.

It will be a little colder but no rain Thank God.  We put wool socks on clearance this summer for $1 each so I have a decent stash.  

My sister *stood in line at the Post Office* right before Christmas to send my gift and some of the push up lickables for the cats.  I opened one up.  Spotty took one look at it and ran outside.  What?  Biscuit was happy to take care of it.  Cleo was whining for some but Biscuit is a bully; I will have to take her in the bathroom or something.

It is a full moon AND The Day After Christmas.  God save us!

Tuesday morning

 Well #6 was pretty quiet Christmas eve - considering years past - but was pretty loud last night.  Unfortunately he built his covered patio between his house and my bedroom so if anyone farts out there I hear it, and he had all 3 boys (teens now) out there being teenage boys yelling and carrying on.  I didn't get to sleep until pretty late.  

They just don't think there is someone else living here.  Someone who has a schedule, works, needs to sleep.  For instance it is nearly 5 AM.  I am playing my music at the lowest volume setting so I don't bother the people around me; they don't have that consideration.  I have been told by other neighbors they appreciate me being quiet "Unlike that TRASH" (#6).  I was raised to keep it down, don't bother the neighbors.  They just don't have the consideration.  

Ron would say, in Transactional Analysis (Oh how he abused that with me) terms the family is child-dominated and (my take) incapable of empathy.  I remember one time Ron went over there about 2 AM in TEARS BEGGING them to stop or at least turn it down, and the guy said NO and turned it up.  

So when a neighbor says "Don't call the police, if it's too loud (and if they're saying this it will be) just come over and tell me (and I will turn it up and curse you out)" I just call in a noise complaint if needed because I realize they have no consideration.  

There was one house they have been very quiet every night for 20 years save one night.  I told Ron they get a pass.  Turns out it was the night the husband retired.  And they haven't made a peep ever since.  

Now personally I don't mind the noise like Ron did.  If it is too quiet it creeps me out.  I don't mind a LITTLE background noise.  

So work today will be very busy.  I will get through it!  Not going to give it a choice.  I was told last week the team leads got their hours cut (I got more hours this week but no one else did, I haven't said that) so I have no idea who is working today or when they are.  I will have to wait until I log in on the app and then I can "view roster" and see who works when.  It is a little creepy especially if you have stalker issues.  

My hours are pretty set, though, for the next couple weeks.  3 days, 2 nights, every week for 3 weeks.  I need to think do I want to do chocolate again, I need to check and see the weather.  And it's almost time to go so that's it for now!  

Well that was an interesting Christmas surprise

 I bought myself some $5 PJ pants on Black Friday mainly because they still had them left when I came in to work at 2, and they had them on my lunch at 7.  I thought for sure I was a 2X so I got a couple of them and 1 pair of the XL.  

The thrift store PJ pants I got this week state they are an XL so I went ahead and opened that first and tried it on, it fits great.  So I have 3 pair I don't need.  I will give them to a lady at work.  

These are the ones that work: 

And here are the water bottles I got myself, I think I explained how I plan to use them, already:  

The one on the right is more of a mauve than a pink.  

I always want slippers for Christmas and I think in years past I have not conveyed that, so this year I bought myself slippers.  

Slipper socks: 

They have the little grippers on the sole of the foot so I don't fall and split my head open.  

And this, a "proper" slipper I am wearing right now, very cozy.  The socks were $7 for the set Black Friday special and the slippers were $10.  My feet get cold easy and I have tile/vinyl floors so they are cold too.  I am happy with that.  I will only need them a few months and then I will put them in storage when it gets hot.  

My deodorant failed me sometime this morning (I was not up for a shower with the headache) so I took a shower around 2 and put on my new PJ pants and a purple t shirt.  

I will talk to my parents sometime in the next hour and open their presents while I am talking to them.  

That's it for now!  

Christmas morning

 Well I was pleasantly surprised.  While #6 had their annual party the music was low, the drinking restrained (based on the tone of the laughter), overall it was not a bad night for me as the next door neighbor so I'm thrilled.  

The gift opening was a little loud.  Based on what I heard, after midnight everyone took turns (as my family did) opening presents.  They would hold up the wrapped gift (surmising based on what I heard), everyone oohaing over it.  Then it was opened.  Then they would exclaim over it.  This was repeated again and again.  Finally they wrapped it up (!) and I went to bed.  

I woke up with a splitting headache which I attribute to my Queso chip (that is the flavor name, "Queso" by Ruffles).  They have been linked to past headaches, but I had them Friday and had a headache Saturday, and then I had them yesterday and a headache today so NOT doing that again.  

My aunt made me some sweet bread so I had that for breakfast, it was very good.  I also did my God Time and linked up the Fit Bit.  

My aunt was given a "Charge" at a white elephant gift party, she gave it to me.  I got it set up and paired with my Carb Manager app.  It needs a new strap so I ordered one.  

The cats are good and the weather is lovely although colder than I like.  

That's it for now!  

Some recent photos

 

So the rest of the day

 A very nice (female) coworker picked me up at the house and took me to work today.  I said I'd give her gas money and buy her a fancy coffee, she just wanted the coffee so I did that.  She's very sweet.  

Our department team leads bought pizza for our team only which caused a fair amount of resentment from the other staff, but the pizza was good.  

The cookies and pastry were a big hit with my teammates.  

Ace got me so I didn't have to ride the crazy train (bus).  

My family is doing well; I saw Cleo and Biscuit when I got home but I haven't seen Spotty.  

I got myself 2 nice water bottles I plan to use at work.  

Not sure if I am doing a Bible Handout tomorrow; I am pretty wiped out.  

I'm going to try and take a nap before the parties start.  In my neighborhood all the Mexicans have a big blowout party tonight.  

You signed up for this (dumping/vent about work post)

 So I am going to bitch in this post feel free to skip unless you want to share my misery.  You were warned.  

Ron used to complain now and then when I would vent to him saying he didn't sign up for that.  But you did when you clicked that link to read the post.  

So I got to work and the other team had left a mess for me like they do every day.  Another woman had clocked in early and taken equipment I needed to do my job, and was playing games.   My bosses' boss came by and asked me about it and I told him, he sorted it out pretty quick.  

Then I had a hellish day of pre-Christmas retail frenzy.  It was nonstop all day.  I did stay up on my work, took my lunch at the appropriate time, leaving things as they should be, did my lunch, did the grocery zone and had those potato chips looking mighty fine if I do say.  

I came back and one of the other employees took her lunch.  She is known for taking long lunches and did today.  She doesn't "believe" she should "have" to go to the bathroom on her lunch or break period so she takes the rest time, clocks back in, and THEN lingers another 10 minutes in the bathroom before coming back.  

When I realized this would happen I was able to adjust my pickup with Ace.   It was insane I was doing 3 jobs at once and staying on top of it.  

One of the team leads comes by and asks when I was leaving.  I told her "Should have been 5 minutes ago but so and so is late coming back from lunch" 

Instead of addressing the CHRONIC tardiness issue, she turns to me and says "Well, you can't leave it like this when you go or we will have to talk."  

The other people leave it like that EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR.  This is THE busiest shopping day of the year.  I am doing multiple jobs.  I am staying on top of things but other people are not doing what they should.  One employee is wandering around aimlessly when she is not texting (I really think that one has an intellectual limitation).  Literally, that is all she is doing.  I don't see how she passed her assessments when she applied all I can figure someone else took them for her.  

The person I am covering went to lunch at 3:04 and didn't come back until 4:15.  This is typical when I do have to cover for her.  I was just so disgusted.  

I checked but we did not have any eggnog, after I clocked out.  That was disappointing.  

It's just AGH.  

The baked goods have been popular

 Sandra in particular was very excited by the pound cake and took a big slice.  

The ride worked very well I think we could do that again.  She didn't want gas money but did take a fancy coffee.  She said it isn't far out of her way 

Very heavy rain right now but I am indoors and have already arranged a ride home.  

I will likely pay for a ride on New Year's as I work at 9 AM, and my neighbors like to go until well after midnight   When I was a kid we celebrated with microwave popcorn and a rented movie.  Good times.  So I would pay for the ride to save 2-3 hours on my commute.

Today is going to be busy 

I bought a couple reusable water bottles.  I plan to buy distilled water every day and fill them.  We don't have good tap water so I have to buy.  But a gallon here is about a dollar so I can do that every day.  I already drink about 3 quarts a day at work.

I just need to wash out my bottles.  

That's it for now!

I had a lot of fun with my aunt and uncle

 One highlight was the thrift shop.  I got some really cute stuff including a pair of fleece pj pants.  Today is pj day at work so I'm going to wear them.  

We also ran by the Mexican bakery (SO good!) and I got some treats for work.  They have some sort of poundcake thing with sesame seeds on top.  I have had the little ones they make and it is good, not too sweet but tasty.  So I got one of those and some M&M cookies which I think everyone will like.  I got myself some marranillos which is a pig shaped pastry that is very good.  Those are gone.  

My grandmother was a really good seamstress and passed that down to my aunt, who was utterly baffled at my coat.  She took it with her to work on and will mail it back.  I gave her free reign to do whatever seems best.  It was just poorly designed which doesn't say much about Land's End anymore.  And I am never, EVER, buying another coat with "waterproof pockets".  

My coworker is picking me up today.  I told her there would be gas money and a cup of coffee.  I need to get my shower.  

She texted me, said she isn't interested in gas money but will take the coffee.  She's got it!  

My aunt and uncle left yesterday afternoon and got home OK.  It is about 4 hours for them one way so I really appreciate them taking the time.  

It should be busy today but I'll get through it.  That's it for now.  

I keep forgetting this

 Every day at work I have to "fix up" the cookie aisle.  Every day I see the Pirouette cookies and every time I remember a really awful thing that was done to me.  

I had lost a significant amount of weight on low carb and was doing very well.  I had a very strict hands off policy regarding sugar and chocolate.  Ron had a friend, Chuck, who would give us rides now and then.  Ron felt beholden to him which is one reason I ALWAYS pay for rides up front.  I don't like people loan sharking and then calling in their marker.  

Anyway this day he showed up with a tin of these cookies.  He knew I never ate that stuff, he gave it to me.  I said "Thank you" and put it up, fully intending to toss it the minute he left the house.  He must have figured that out because he demanded I open it and eat a few.  I said no.  He got very ugly about it and basically threatened to stop helping us, if I didn't.  Ron's like PLEASE eat the cookies.  So I ate a couple.  

THEN he left the tin with me.  Of course I ate the rest and it led to a decline and I gained all the weight back.  

But every time I see those cookies I think What a crappy thing to do.  I'm not sorry he is out of my life.  

Well I guess I learned my lesson

 Can't post about people in bad relationships.  Coming soon: censoring my faith!  And I get a lot of hits you would think Blogger would want to keep it coming.  

What I find interesting (and the toxic relationship post is the only thing that could have triggered the censor) you KNOW ALL the stuff I posted about Ron and how he treated me and they were OK with that.  but I mention a coworker showed up looking like she'd been crying, and had made some comments about things he had said to her, and the censor comes.  

Work was very busy last night.  The had the "Christmas party" last night which was basically a catered meal.  It was not very good, it was Italian.  It had plenty of meat and cheese but it had very little seasoning.  The young men at the table next to me were complaining and most of them threw away their plates after taking a bite or two.  

Also they had a loudmouth, very negative, person "running the show" (not a manager) she was playing games making us wait on the food, etc.  She was also playing favorites making large plates for management and small plates for other associates.  Not who I would have picked.  I was glad I had brought some cheese.  

My boss was there and called me right after I clocked out.  I wasn't going back especially as I had Ace waiting, she texted me and said another employee wanted to give me a ride home.  I told her I was OK.  I am not going to ask Ace to come and then refuse to ride with him, I'd only do that if he was drunk or something.  

I did get him a small gift which he liked getting, he was going to open it later (a giant chocolate bar and a small cash gift in a Christmas card).  I am not sure if I'm taking him home Christmas eve.  I am very tempted but I also feel an obligation, I never ride on Sunday afternoon and that's all new drivers.  I told him I would let him know Saturday BUT he is working Sunday he said.  

He asked about (Jack) and I said I backed off on that because he did make the comment about me "always looking cute" and it wouldn't work primarily because he is not a believer.  So IF Ace ever thought about that I have made my position clear.  I like Ace as a person and if he was saved I might think about it.  Although I think he would have a lot more issues with my housekeeping than Ron did!  Most will!  I do have a lot of baggage.  

The cats are good.  I picked Spotty up yesterday morning just out of curiosity and he was into it, petting, kissing his fur, etc.  It seemed like a really good idea at the time BUT my allergies were terrible all day and night.  So I don't think I'm going to do that again anytime soon.  

My aunt and uncle come tonight that will be a lot of fun.  That's it for now.  

Well I made it to work

 I got Arturo a giant chocolate bar and a nice Christmas card.  I am not sure If I will see him again after tonight, before Christmas.  So I would rather do it tonight.

I am as ready as I'll be before work.  

Oh and a bus driver told me (the intersection I plan to work for the Christmas Handout) is MUCH better "The police have been making arrests every day" and he would know.   That is very encouraging.  That makes 2 spots that have improved one He showed up.  

I met a very nice old lady last night

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Wed noon

 Why is it?  The customer who is so adamant they are honest is the one trying to steal?  It was so obvious and she was so frustrated I wasn't letting it happen.  She ended up walking off.  But she paid for everything first.

That $20 pays my salary for an hour and a half and I know that.

Other than that it has been OK.  Busy though, and one of my coworkers went home sick.  

Ride to work was fairly uneventful

 Except the homeless guy with nine (I counted), some of them leaking, bags who reeked of BO and ashtray.  I am starting to see why the drivers run the air, it is about air circulation and not actual AC.

I remembered to bring some Spanish candy but I didn't see anyone likely.  

The cats are good, I saw everyone, Biscuit the most.  It was hard to get up with him lying on me he was so warm and soft.

One of the employees, not my department, playing head games.  I can't abide that.  Her son is dangerous, a grown man very large and heavy, got violent a few years back screaming and yelling.  They didn't ban him for some reason and she's always bringing him in, sharing disgusting toilet details of her dog, her husband came in one night and went off on me verbally over something stupid, etc the whole family needs to go to the nut house.  She always acts like I am dying to hear the latest drama I am not   I like most people but I can't STAND her.  And people are always confusing us and calling me her name.

I did get paid.  I allocated a certain amount for work snacks and took that out in cash.  I am also trying to figure out rides.  I have the money but do I want a ride to and from work on Christmas Eve?  It will be crazy.  I need to think about it.

My aunt will be coming down Friday night and spend most of Saturday with me that will be great!

I need to work on my mood before I start.  But the first step is realizing I have a mood 

Oh, good news, pardon the pun.  The weather will work for a Bible Handout on Christmas I am very excited about it.  

Well that's some good news

 Sunday and Monday my cycle was pretty heavy.  Today it is basically non-existent.  Very good.

The store was pretty dead yesterday and very slow when I came in today but that's no guarantee.  And they will cut my hours if sales are bad.

Between us I could use an extra day off, just one, but if it happens it won't be until after New Year.  I am TIRED.  

I figured out yesterday I work about 50 hours a week if you combine the store and evangelism.  I know a lot of people work more.  My meds make me very tired though.  Not stupid enough to stop them but now and then it would be nice to spend a day in bed.  With the cats 

I love sleeping with Biscuit I am addicted.  I watched him pee this morning before I left and it looked great, so hopefully I will have him for some time to come.  I saw Cleo and the Spot-Man but they flitted around more and really didn't say hi.  

I guess I am not starting early today.  The store is freezing I don't know why.  I am glad I wore the candy cane hoodie a friend gave me last night.  I have the hood pinned inside so it doesn't violate dress code.  

That's it for now!

 Yesterday was pretty uneventful.

I have talked about construction at the vacant lot by my primary bus stop.  They put a chain link fence around it.  The fence has some sort of fabric barrier that blocks line of sight.  

What does that mean?  My driver comes around the curve now, sees me at the last second, has to stand on the brake.  I am not crazy about that especially in the dark when I'm already hard to spot.

Other than that it was a good ride to work.  If the buses line up I get off the first, wait a few minutes, board the second.  Today the second bus pulled up to the stop when I was across the street.  I waved at him, he saw me, and waited.  This is one reason I am always nice to the bus driver.

So I walked in early.  Boss saw me and was very approving so I may start early she said.  I am up for that.  God knows I can use the money 

My parka has some major issues I will put up photos.  Short version don't buy a coat with waterproof pockets the seal breaks and the pockets come out.  And I am not hard on my coats.  My jeans, yes, but not my coats.  

So at some point I will get a new coat.  Do I want to get a white coat so I am easier to see?  Or something cute like hot pink, purple, etc.  I will probably get the white.  

That's it for now!

The Ibuprofen is working

 I went from 5 ml an hour down to half that.  It is a little tricky wrangling the cup, though.  I guess I'll get better but how many cycles do I have left, anyway?

I took an early lunch so my diabetic coworker can get hers at 4 hours.  It doesn't really matter when I eat as long as I DO eat.

So I will have 3 hours when I get back I can manage that.  It has been pretty quiet today.

Glad I wore my cup

 I got my cycle yesterday and it was pretty heavy for day 1 so I wore the period underwear+ the cup today.  I put it in at 3.  When I changed it just now it was 3/4 full.  I will have to take some iron this week.  Ibuprofen works pretty well on slowing things down and I had a headache anyway so I took it.  It is not as always easy changing a full cup in a public bathroom.  Part of it the cup makes a loud sucking noise when I take it out.  Then it is messy any way I try it.  BUT it works a lot better than tampons.

Curious to see how work goes.  

Oh and some guy brought a gun on the bus - a real one, and for some reason the driver let him.  He was harmless though.

It's been an interesting morning already.  

I need to remember to bring a hanky to church

 Uneventful trip to church, service was good, Advent and all.  Some of the songs talked about resurrection and that always makes me teary.  The first Easter service after Ron's death (another church) I was weeping tears pouring down my face as the pastor talked about Jesus raising the dead.  So I can stick a hanky in my little purse.  

I did notice a lot of people coughing during the service so I didn't feel bad when I inadvertently sneezed during a prayer.  

I didn't talk much with people.  I headed back out and caught the bus.  

I went to the grocery store and got more candy (I go through a lot).  They also had these little marshmallow things I got 

It's a nice amount of marshmallows and you get 30 bags to the sack.  I gave one to the (very curious) cashier and ate one (not bad, not sure if I will buy again, I won't be eating more but think they are OK for drivers).  

It was not fun lugging it all home (carrot juice was very heavy) but I got it.  I did get some cole slaw and some salad greens.  

I took a nap with Biscuit who was very cute.  He's my gift from God, just pure love.  He's so soft and cuddly.  I never pick them up, any of them, I don't believe in forcing my will on them for cuddles.  And they repay me by getting on me quite frequently (Spotty, this morning, all over my black church dress and shedding profusely).  I would rather that kind of cuddle, than picking them up and them struggling while I kiss them or hug them.  

Besides, with a cat allergy I'm not supposed to kiss or hug them.  

Now, all that said I will confine them for medication or whatever.  Cleo was completely unmanageable after her spay so I put her medicine in the wet food and she would eat a little of that, that was the best I could do with her.  Biscuit is very amenable to medication he had a gram-negative food poisoning some time back and I had to give him antibiotics, he was a very good boy, he didn't struggle much or fight me at all.  Spotty from what I recall was OK with getting pain meds after his neuter that's the only time he's ever needed anything.  

And they're pretty good about "taking" their Advantage (topical flea medication goes on the back of the neck) as well I think because I am not manhandling them in the name of cuddles.  I think that's a very profound respect issue if you have cats.  

I do hear some cats LIKE being picked up but I have never had one, in about a dozen cats, that did.  They all struggled to get away.  Maybe I smell bad (grin).  

I had one Siamese (a stray), the rest have all been pure Alley Cat.  Remember that cat food?  Alley Cat?  It was the absolute cheapest worst stuff available.  I had to feed it to my guys some 20 years ago when times were really bad.  I was eating beans and rice and the cats were eating Alley Cat.  But they seemed to like it.  Now they get Iams, they love it, their coats look fantastic, and Biscuit is in perfect health (this the cat the vet told me to put down, his prognosis was so bad - kind of like Ron come to think).  I love Iams.  

One time I did a post about Cabot cheese, their bot found me and they left a very nice comment on the blog.  Still a fan of that cheese, by the way!  

I don't care if Iams reads that they deserve to know they have given me a lot of peace and happiness knowing I'd feeding quality stuff to the cats.  

My aunt suggested I make my taco casserole for my own dinner so I thawed out a bag of taco meat.  It is good.  I got the HEB Charro Refried Beans with that, some shredded cheddar.  Good, good, stuff.  I plan to make some for lunch tomorrow, too, with a little salsa.  

I think it's very important to feed myself quality foods (the majority of the time).  One day I had an epiphany.  How would I pack a lunch for someone I loved, like a husband or child?  Why couldn't I do that for myself?  So I have tried to do that.  I don't always succeed and probably one day a week I'm eating something from the deli at work, but I'm trying.  

Christian culture talks a lot - at least the devotionals I read - about dying to yourself and putting Jesus on the throne, not Self.  That is vital.  It is also important to value myself as a child of God, one Jesus died for and values.  That I have to respect and value myself as His child while keeping Him on the throne.  That's the trick!  Still figuring that out.  

If I don't respect myself, and see myself as a person of value, I am going to be victimized again.  And I am done being cussed out, kept up all night, beaten black and blue, and worse.  I am done with that.  

I have been "lucky" so far literally the only men "interested" in me were interested in the mango chili lollipops I carried in my work vest, the diet Mountain Dew in same, or some other candy I carried to work.  It could have been a lot worse.  God protected me.  

That is probably the #1 reason I am so paranoid about relationships at this point: I'M NOT GETTING BURNED AGAIN.  I WILL DIE ALONE before that happens.  I need to protect myself.  I don't have anyone in Houston to help me vet people.  

There are a few coworkers who would be happy to see me hook up with anyone but I am OK with just Biscuit.  I know what he wants and I can give that to him at no risk to myself.  

I used to say I would wait 5 years before dating again.  I think, now, I'm done.  And I'm OK with that. 

That's it for now.  

Some dark thoughts

 I may end up having to delete some comments off of this but I think it's important.  

I was having a hard time today, part of it I have just been taking my antidepressant out of the pill bottle every morning and some mornings I can't remember if I have, already.  So I don't because an overdose can cause a fatal seizure.  I saw enough seizures with Ron and I can't afford to develop them myself.  

So I was already having a hard time, but I eventually got myself into some sweats and went outside to sit on the porch.  It did cheer me tremendously to see my mint plant is coming back, it has really struggled.  This summer it appeared to completely die but I have little shoots coming up all over (I want that).  Mint can be a terrible weed in some gardens but I like it and would appreciate the smell of mint by my front door.  

So I decided to do a little light weeding on the front garden bed and did that, it took about 10 minutes because I use mulch.  I need to get more, though.  

I checked the mail (nothing) so I stayed out until the sun dropped and came back in - maybe half an hour.  But while I was sitting out there I realized I struggle with feelings of worthlessness.  Some of it is my illness and some of it is just the facts of my life.  

What kind of mother maims her baby before it's born?  Who does that to a helpless fetus?  Mine did.  To add insult to injury she then neglected me severely (it took me years to catch up on my growth) and then ran off when I was diagnosed disabled.  

A mother's supposed to love her kid.  Yeah, Dads run off all the time but never a mother.  I remember how shocked people were when I said my mother had "gone away".  

That does a number on you and I wonder if I can ever really get over that.  It sure doesn't help me overall.  

I was unofficially adopted but it's always been clear she puts her kids first.  She did try and she gave me some very good advice about never drinking.  

That's it for now.  

Evangelism update

 So every day I take about a dozen bags of candy with me when I ride the bus to/from work.  I also take candy with me when I go to church, because the other bus drivers who frequent the bus stop I use to get home have figured out I'm a Candy Lady and stop for me even if I wave them on.  

Normally it is a handful of pinata mix in a sandwich baggy with a tract (lately been doing "You are Not Alone") or Scripture booklet (I have several titles).  Less frequently I'll put a New Testament in there with the candy.  It fits in a quart bag.  

So yesterday I was handing out candy to all my drivers.  I got to the transit center, and like I always do, I walk down the line of buses and give each driver a bag of candy.  Some drivers close the door and drive off when they see me, that just keeps me humble.  Others wait for me and reach out a hand for it, grinning, as I board.  

When I come home from work I wait at a bus stop shared by several routes and I hold up a bag of candy when a bus approaches, if he stops I get on, say "I'm not riding" (other wise they shut the door and drive off!), and give them the candy.  

So yesterday I was going "to" work and I saw a young man sitting on a curb at the transit center.  He was clean and presentable but dressed like a thug, saggy pants, hoodie, etc.  They have this thing now where they wear these skinny cut jeans (the ones with money) they are tailored and acid washed, with a saggy butt constructed on it.  This young man was just wearing some sort of baggy work pant.  

I felt a pull to give him candy but he was surrounded by others.  I didn't have enough candy to give all of them a bag and I didn't really feel I could single him out.  So I went on my way.  His bus came so I ran back and gave that driver some candy.  The young man said "Where's my candy?" with a grin and I said "Right here" and I gave him the New Testament in the bag of candy, he was happy to get it.  

That's what I've been up to, lately.  

Made it to work

 Handed out a fair amount of candy on the way.  One associate in the break room is doing a litany of every bad thing that happened in the city last night.  One of those ,"Oh how terrible" things where they are in fact getting off on the tragedy.  I hate gossip and I hate that whatever it is.  

I couldn't remember if I took my antidepressant this morning so I did not.  I would say I didn't based on the way I feel.  I will push through as the commercial says 

I did catch the earlier buses and 2 of them got the last of the chocolate.  They were sure happy to get it!  One guy standing next to me smelled like an ashtray that wasn't much fun.  

I am in some smaller jeans and these have a small snag likely from Torbie which makes me a little nostalgic.  She was a good cat and completely devoted to Ron.  My guys were super cuddly this morning and I have an adorable photo of Spotty the Evangelist I will put up later.  

The store is playing a lot of "Christmas without you" songs which are not as hard as they would have been a few years ago.  But likely hard on my one coworker as it is her first year without her loved one.  

That's it for now.  

Friday morning

 Last night was crazy, I can't say much but I can say holiday madness.  Hopefully it will be better tonight.  

I am looking forward to walking out of the store tonight!  

It was supposed to rain today, all week they have been saying that, right now it looks like it will be dry enough to get me to work which is all I care about.  

Also I finally got a look at the gas station.  They have completely cleared the lot and are digging huge trenches.  I was watching the guy with the backhoe right next to the bus stop (there's a perimeter) and he was showing off a little for me I was laughing and grinning at him, giving him thumbs up.  He came over and talked to me in Spanish I said I was sorry I didn't speak it but muy rapido y muy bueno!  He liked that (very fast and very good work).  I am super excited about getting some lighting it is so dark over there in the morning or coming home at night.  

When I got to work they no longer take the gas bill payments so I will have to do that online.  I did give her the bag of (no tract) candy though for trying.  I occasionally hand out candy at work but never to customers (except the lady having diabetic issues) and never with my evangelism material in it.  The last thing I need is someone taking a booklet to personnel and showing the page on what sexual sins send you to hell because the store is "inclusive". 

Work itself was very busy and I had that boss the whole night as well.  She was not happy when I left but I did what I could and I was only there until 9.  She had me doing another job the first 4 hours of my shift I only had 2 hours to really finish what I was doing.  Looking at that and considering what night it was I think I did OK.  

She leaves at 8 tonight, if things work out I won't see her until Tuesday.  

The cats are good they slept with me last night.  Allergies feel better.  

Yesterday on the bus I had my hair loose and a creepy man behind me was petting it.  I won't do that again but he resembled Ron's brother which brought up a whole can of worms for me.  

Ron's brother was not all bad, he was tasked with making sure Ron was OK growing up and had to do things like wear Ron's shoes when they were new and break them in for Ron.  But after the accident A. was very angry at me because I was staying with Ron and A's wife had said she would put him in a nursing home if that happened.  

We also had conflict over Ron's care; they all wanted Ron in a nursing home and then they would visit once in a while only.  I wanted to take him home and do it all for him myself, give him a chance to get back on his feet again.  Since we were not married (! Hey, stupid, if you're living together get married so this doesn't happen to you!) I had no say in it but Ron's Dad and I were on the same page so I "got" Ron.  But Ron's sister was very angry with me said I made the family look bad.  She said she had also gone behind my back and lied to Ron's doctor that I could not care for him.  

It came to a head one fine day when A kidnapped me.  I had dirt on him and said I would "tell" if he didn't let me go so he did, but he was very angry with me for "screwing things up" (ie Ron could not go in the nursing home due to a Social Security glitch that was not my fault).  Had they been able to place him I would have been out of luck.  I couldn't have saved him.  But no one wanted him except me so I got him.  

I was very, very, angry about this for a very long time.  I've moved beyond that now.  Ron was lonely though and would call them now and then.  The first time he talked to his sister she asked why he was "talking funny" and he reminded her he had a stroke, and she hung up on him.  She stopped taking his calls.  Ron always wanted contact with them, though.  He had me send her a message on Facebook about a year before he died saying he loved her he didn't want anything except to hear how she was doing.  She never responded.  

A's wife called Ron once when Ron was listening to an Astros game and Ron was able to discuss it coherently with her, his favorite players, etc. and she hung up.  Ron said "She just wanted to see if I was still 'crazy/" (Ron had head injury dementia for about 8 months after the accident).  We never heard from them again, either.  

I said Ron could come back and he proved it.  They had to see for themselves and then, having seen he did recover, they ran off probably embarrassed they gave up on him so easy.  But Ron was a lot right after the accident I see why they did.  

After Ron died they ghosted me regarding the baby pictures which I KNOW they didn't want.  They were only interested in getting a death certificate so they could get their "big" life insurance payout.  I blocked his nephew because it was obvious he was playing games and he got very angry about that.  I don't care.  He was jerking me around and I was already a mess having just lost Ron.  Who does that?  

So all morning I have been thinking about this and what I might say or do if I saw them again.  

I have to go to work, that's it for now.  

Not sorry I snitched

 Work has been busy.  The boss left something with me to watch a minute.  A coworker came up and started loading stuff on it even though I told her 4 times it was for the boss.  She basically told me to shove it, did it anyway.  

Fine.  As I've said the boss likes to know when I go to lunch and I was, in a minute.  So when I called I told her.  Co worker caught hell.  I am Not sorry I did it.  She is muttering curses under her breath and sulking but I don't care.  I told her 4 times 

Other than that things are going well.  That's it for now.

BTW in 3 years here I have never tattled.  And I would have been in big trouble when the boss came back.  

Ready to start

 Challenging boss is here tonight for my whole shift.  Plus side of that the other workers will not stand around talking all night 

I ate a fairly big meal already so I should be good for dinner.  

Of note: lady bus driver gave me a bag of candy with an invitation to her church.

Also had some pervert playing with my hair which I stupidly left down today.  He stopped when I glared at him but I was pretty close to slapping his hand away!  He was behind me on the bus.

That's it for now!  

Thursday morning

 No problems on the way to work yesterday.  Work itself was uneventful, fairly busy but Christmas is coming.  

I left on time and caught my bus, he was running a little late.  Tuesday another bus was following him letting him pick up everyone except at my stop, he came ahead and got me (I didn't know this had happened until later).  And got the candy.  The guy who got me was very friendly and talked to me, he said he had me going to work too.  

Last night the usual driver got me and told me what had happened, both drivers are angry at the other and feel the other guy is slacking.  It does seem rather chickenshit to me to follow another bus and let him do all the work.  

I got on my home bus and it was a different driver, but he stopped at my stop which is all I cared about.  He did get candy of course.  When I got off the bus it was dark but they were working on the gas station anyway which I find encouraging.  

I cannot convey the dark and creepy factor of this bus stop, at night, which is primarily when I am using it.  Bus stop means excellent lighting!

I walked past the dog's house and no problems, I saw a police car sitting nearby.  Occasionally the HOA will pay the police to come and sit at that intersection for a shift.  So I walked over with my candy and held it up, he rolled down the window.  I gave him the candy and thanked him for watching the neighborhood then warned him the dog over there (pointing) gets out sometimes and is very aggressive.  He said OH REALLY very interested and said he would keep an eye out.  Good.  

When I called animal control both times they were closed they seem fairly useless.  I have no doubt they would round up a dog that had bitten me but I don't think they care about this case because the owner is stuffing her (?) back in the yard when she gets out.  

I do feel a lot better carrying my stick.  

I work tonight so I have a little time this morning.  I did up my candy already and just need to make my lunch.  

That's it for now!  

I am embarrassed - icky

 My aunt is the kind of person I can talk to about anything so I thought nothing of sending her a text saying the mucus is yellow when I blow my nose.

But it wasn't her- it was my adoptive Mom, and now she is freaking out saying I need a doctor.

My only question would be is this allergies or an infection and if so, what kind.  Is Flonase a good idea, etc.  I will get better I always do and, unlike previous times, the meds I'm taking are keeping me pretty clear.  

I am not running a fever either so I'm not worried.  But they are, now, and I feel bad about it.

Work is OK busy but I was able to get away for my break and lunch.  That's it for now!

I had some excitement last night

 The buses were running late by about half an hour.  I would guess holiday traffic.

I got off my last bus well after dark and started into the subdivision.  I walked on the side away from the vicious husky that came after me a month ago.

And there she was, sitting in her front yard, apparently waiting for the owner.  I went on high alert and was stepping lively let me tell you.  But no problem.

I got home at 6:30 and attempted to call animal control but they were closed.  "Call 911 if you got bit". What the everlasting hell am I paying taxes for?  I was pissed.  

I don't blame the dog, I smell like cats and the dog is just too much animal for a small yard.  I blame the owner.  

I will call again at work and see how that goes.

I talked to my parents and then my aunt.  I had a coughing attack during the phone call I was very embarrassed.

I slept OK and had an uneventful trip to the bus stop.  That's it for now!

Doing OK

 Dare I say I feel like allergies are getting under control.  The HVAC system has a lot of people hacking and wheezing I just need to toughen my immune system.

Ride in was uneventful.  Apparently the young man I was chatting with at the bus stop is "notorious" per the bus driver, doesn't pay, smokes weed, etc.  Sounds like a perfect candidate for the Gospel!  I am not sorry I gave him candy with a tract.  I will be praying.

Boss practically did an Intervention during the team meeting today over me and the diet sodas.  It was easy to blow my sister off as she's off, in a cult, etc. but my boss is a *Team Lead* at a huge corporation.  I will give this some thought.  Compounding this the tap water at work is ghastly so I will have to figure out what to drink instead.  

It was very hard getting going today but I did it.  I can hear someone snoring here in the break room.  It is cute.

That's it for now!

Made it to work.

 Fatigue continues.  I felt much better after I woke up and before the energy drink.  Lesson learned.

I have 2 mild yet icky skin infections that are not visible so I bought some antibiotic cream.  I couldn't find my tube and it is only a dollar.  I will use that at home.

I also need to put up my pills in my pill box when I get home.  I couldn't remember if I took my antidepressant this morning and that's not good.  Based on my mood I would say I didn't.

That's it for now!

Tuesday morning

 Yesterday and today I had an instant energy drink when I first woke up and both days I have been dragging.  I don't think I'm doing it tomorrow.  

Yesterday was pretty quiet, difficult boss was off.  I know what to do and I did it.  One of the other associates said something about me coming up with off the wall comments she finds funny.  I guess that is a good thing?  She is still nice to me.  

She's one I don't think would want to hear about Fetal Alcohol so I won't tell her.  Also often mothers get very angry when I tell them about it they think I am accusing them of maiming their kids.  I'm not, I just say MY mother maimed me with heavy drinking every day she was pregnant.  

But likely they did drink some during the pregnancy and they feel very angry and upset when I talk to them; so as a rule now I don't.  

I just say I have "brain damage from birth" let them think the doctor messed up or something.  I have learned to pick my battles.  

The people who were assigned to do my old job have failed miserably at it.  So last night they had one of my coworkers cover for them.  I may be required to do that today.  I hope not.  

It is funny they were so rude talking all kinds of crap about me when I did the job, how "easy" I had it, how "lazy" I was, etc. and now they realize it was a truly terrible job.  I'm not in a hurry to get it back.  

All ready to go: I have my lunch packed, shower, God Time, cats got their food and treats.  Someone threw up in the hall last night but they all had a good appetite so I'm not worried about it.  

I am all ready to come home and I haven't even left yet!  But I did bring candy.  Since it will be warmer later I have candy + chocolate for this morning (cold) I will give that away first.  Then for this afternoon I have more rugged candy with the tracts.  I need to find more zip locks though I am running low!  

That's it for now.  

Made it to lunch

 I did up cheese plates: Gouda, 2 kinds of cheddar, what I think was a goat cheese, and brie.  I cut up an apple and threw in a handful of grapes.  It was good.  I also had a large spinach salad with vinaigrette dressing.  

Easy to take!  Although the apple was a little brown.  It is also less expensive than a deli lunch and more nutritious.  

Allergies ARE better wearing the mask so I will keep that up.  

Work has been OK.  I don't have too long when I get back and 1 hour of that is the grocery zone.  

That's it for now!

Made it to work

 No dog issues; very cold but no wind or rain.  Most of the buses were nicely warm.

One rude passenger got on after I did and basically demanded candy.  I told her sorry, I was out.  I have given her lots of stuff if she hasn't gotten saved by now it won't be due to anything else I could do.

I can hear the I told you so from here!  LOL. So I mainly just did a LOT of drivers this morning.

Allergies are moderately bad, enough that I took something.  I plan to wear a mask today as well.  That's it for now.

Sunday afternoon

 I slept OK last night.  Allergies are still raging though.  I am taking Claratin and, as needed, a cocktail of Sudafed and Mucinex at home.  I take a "Severe cold and flu" remedy at work that stops the coughing as well.  

If it's still bothering me when my medical coverage kicks in I will go ahead and see a doctor.  But my allergies are better washing my hands after I pet the cats, putting a top sheet on the bed and changing it often, and changing the whole house air filter.  

The cold front hit last night I could hear the wind, and also the heater as it ran a lot early this morning.  But that's good for me as it also acted as an air filter.  

I need to finish doing the laundry and then the meal prep for next week.  That cold front is going to be miserable tomorrow.  I am not sure how windy it will be let me see if I can find out; for sure it will be in the 30's which is damned cold standing at the bus stop.  Weather app says not a lot of wind thank God.  

Oh, and the cutest EVER:

I just swept and mopped the house, that took a while.  I did some research: run the whole house fan while I did it, wear a (cloth, that's all I had) mask while doing it, cat dander takes 30 minutes to settle down after you're done cleaning so keep that air filter going...the sites are all "ask for help with cleaning" I feel OK doing it on my own.  I also took my cocktail of the sudafed with the guaifenesin which seems to be working pretty well.  The mop water was disgusting I am glad I did it.  The floors actually didn't look too bad (by my eyes) but they sure looked better when I was done.  

Now I just need to finish the laundry.  

That's it for now.  

Tejocote disappointment

 Well I think I solved part of the allergy problem.  I changed the air filter which was disgusting and I am running the whole house fan for a couple of hours.  It rained, too, which helps clear the air.  

I bought Mom a (inexpensive but she will enjoy greatly) fun gift.  I forgot she is pet sitting and had it shipped to her home.  So she saw it delivered on the Ring and then went to Walmart dot com to see what it was, they said "It's a gift we're not telling" or something like that so now she is eager to get home and see.  Walmart dot com made it very easy I was impressed.  And I get a free "plus" membership with employment so shipping was free AND I got the 10% discount.  

I went to the grocery store today.  I got fruit and vegetables, including something that looked interesting called "Tejocote".  I tried one later it is terrible.  Not bad tasting just very hard and bland.  I will take the rest to work and leave them in the breakroom.  Someone will eat them.  

There are a lot of immigrants who, like me, had early-years food insecurity so they literally cannot pass up free food.  They always bring way more food than they can eat because they worry about getting hungry (I do the same thing) I have learned to recognize them.  Also many have big family style meals a couple of them sitting around a table sharing food.  It's cute.  Maybe they can do something with the Tejocote.  

I am a lot better than I used to be but for a long time I couldn't pass up "free" food without eating it.  Even if I wasn't hungry, even if I wasn't particularly interested.  

Team Leads at work told us our Christmas dinner is going to be catered Italian food.  Last year they gave me a tiny piece of lasagna with no cheese on top.  I think that day I will bring some backup food because I don't want a repeat.  

Back to the store I also got some drink mix, etc.  The bus driver was very nice going home and another lady got off when I did - unusual as it is not a busy stop.  

I warned her about the dog and she said it almost got her one day, too.  She seemed nice and didn't bother me.  Obviously a resident and not just some random weirdo.  

I took a nap when I got home (allergies were pretty bad today) and woke up with Biscuit lying with his head on my foot, it was so cute.  Just when I think he can't get any cuter he does.  

I am terribly allergic to cats, though.  

Hopefully the air filter will help.  I have never done this before.  

I gave Mom access to my Google photos there is nothing "wrong" in them.  There are a few pictures of me in a frisky red dress the store had for Valentine's day but that's it.  Everything is covered.  Mom was interested in Biscuit photos though.  

Some kind of custom gift?  I would LOVE one of those Hawaiian shirts with Biscuit on it, they make them custom.  Or some socks with Cleo.  Even a coffee cup would be fun.  I'm not picky but God knows I love my Biscuit.  

I have been seeing the Gideons do a memorial program where you donate money and they put the deceased's name in a Bible they hand out.  That would be cool too.  In honor of Ron.  

I also did most of the laundry today so I'm happy about that.  

That's it for now.  

Just for fun, photo of me in the red dress back in Feb: 

Sorry, I don't see it now.  

So the internet didn't want to come back after they fixed it.

 It had me scratching my head this morning but I got it.  

I slept in until 8 and did my God Time, cleaned up the Bible room, started the laundry (looks like 2 loads), and God enabled me to figure out the internet issue.  Once I got that going I paid the electric bill and got my music going again.  

I always wake up after about 4-6 hours of sleep so I have started taking my generic Claratin then and going back to sleep, that way it's kicked in when I do wake up for the day.  I'm a little congested and sniffly but not too bad.  

I really like what I did with the Bible room I'm going to take a picture.  

Candy, New Testaments, bags, tracts.  Sometimes I just do the tract with the candy; other times the tract in a New Testament with the candy (that goes in a quart bag versus a sandwich baggie).  Seems obvious but I use zip top baggies so the candy and everything is contained.  I do have some chocolate I plan to hand out next week you can't see in this photo.  

Made it to lunch

 A couple notable things.  Last night a young male customer was hallucinating and said I had spiders.  I didn't argue or freak out I just told him I would handle it and he left.

Today the Internet was down as I'd been warned.  Trip to the bus stop was uneventful as I'd hoped and they are working on the gas station.  A large truck had broken down in front of my second bus stop and he didn't see me, passed me up.  But he did stop a block down and I ran and caught him.  

I told Mom and Dad about a low salt wheat thin I found doing groceries.  When I was doing it today I met a sweet old lady who had a million questions about the nuts so I helped her.  Something reminded me of my FIL who was illiterate so I answered all her questions.  I got to help another sweet old lady later it is just my day for it.

Challenging boss leaves in an hour after I get back.  Going straight home tonight.

Last night my one time discount code gave me 25% off everything in the store.  That was pretty cool but I mainly just got essentials.

That's it for now.

Home Internet will be down tomorrow

 So I will try to post tonight before bed.

Loud ignorant drama on someone's cell phone.  I don't care if you thought you were pregnant!

Only at Walmart!

It is really crazy tonight

 And we are short staffed.  But I think the boss is being realistic.

In the break room.  Someone is having a very loud phone drama in the back.  But she seems very young.

Boss wanted me to take my lunch early so I'll do what I can when I get back.  I will only have about an hour and a half when I do and it should go quick.

Mom sent me a sticker of the cats which I thought was cute.  I will put them up tonight if I remember.

Pretty congested and fairly miserable but I'm functional.  This is a good shopping mood, actually, I won't blow my whole check.

That's it for now!

At work

 If Ace was saved I might give him some serious thought.  But he is not interested and we keep it professional.  Well I overshare and he says "Right?" A lot. LOL

Allergies are workable but they did worsen when I got here.  I was very careful to make the bed before I left.  I don't need Biscuit on my pillow all day.

The cats were very sweet this morning and obviously worried about me.  I thought that was adorable.

I got a small box of Belvita and had a packet, that helped my stomach.  I am just waiting to start today.

That's it for now.

I was sick all night with terrible allergies

 And then vomiting from the cold and flu remedy irritating my stomach.  So I compromised and paid for a ride to work.  That cuts 2 hours off my day without me calling in.  And I had budgeted an extra $20 for times like this.  

This morning I took a Claratin instead of a Zyrtec and much better.  Even napping with the cats my allergies were so much better when I woke up again.  

More once I get to work...

It's been busy

 I think I have a sick building here.  Allergies are really bad at work and OK on the way home and at home.

Something to consider.  I am also trying to figure out how to use my extra discount and what to buy.  I don't want to waste money or buy stuff I don't need right away, either.

Work is going OK I am about to do the zone in a few.  That's it for now.

I am really happy

 The deli at work - how's that for symmetry?   Wants my tinsel trees so I'm going to bring them in.  I am not using them and I want them to have a good life admired by lots of people.

I just have to bring them on the bus.  That will be awkward but I'll manage.

I am really excited about this.

At work

 Some anxiety about my job.  Which is probably funny to some of you because you don't think my job is "all that" to begin with.  But I think God wants me here.  I could use prayers for protection from demonic attacks.

Handed out some New Testaments this morning on the way in to work.  I can always use prayer for the recipients.

Allergies bad enough I took a sinus pill in addition to the allergy pill this morning.  Hopefully that will do it.

I forgot to mention yesterday I had an encounter with a big rig.  It was one of those lights where the left turn and the pedestrian go at the same time.  He apparently didn't see me and he went.  I am sure I made a picture bolting the rest of the way holding my stick in the air so I wouldn't trip myself.  Not my idea of a good time!  But I got across OK but I could practically feel him cussing me out.

Cold out this morning, I could have used the long underwear.  I will check the forecast tomorrow before I get dressed.

I am going to leave everything in God's hands today.  The job, the ride home, the dog, all of it.  That's it for now.

Tuesday morning

 I don't have long before I have to go to work.  

Some notes to myself for later: red, old lady/dinner, more on those later.  

I take my lunch at 1 and then clean up the grocery section for an hour (the zone) at 2.  I came back at 3 and my "nice" boss was livid shouting at me I had not done my work.  

I HAD.  I don't mind correction if I screwed up but I was working the whole time.  I can't say more because I don't want to share my job but it was very frustrating, she was livid and kept yelling at me the hour I was there before I left.  

Again, I don't mind chastisement if I did mess up but I didn't and I am not sure what will convince her otherwise.  

On the plus side I did hand out a dozen bags of candy.  And I have a dozen more for today.  I decided to do some candy canes and the little chewy mint with the Christmas tree in the middle.  

My fridge was making strange noises but seems to be working now, thank God.  That's it for now!  

I think I can say it now

 It's been quiet.

I had a sweet old lady come up to me with her son, who was about my age.  She asked me what she should have for dinner.  

I thought about it a minute and told her a Stauffer's Meat Lover Lasagna.  They both agreed it sounded really good, the son in particular.  Show me a Texas man doesn't love meat.  

That made my day when I saw them at checkout ringing it up!

That's it for now.

Sometimes I like to play music all night

 I keep the volume down so I'm the only one hears it; so I can't really complain one of my neighbors played music all night.  It wasn't rap, it wasn't Latino music, something else.  It wasn't too loud but loud enough it did keep me up.  

I had no desire to get dressed and find whoever was doing it.  So I didn't get much sleep.  

Biscuit slept with me so I have some allergies going as well.  But, happily, I already took my shower last night so I don't have to worry about that this morning.  

Off to go do God Time.  

I didn't do the whole thing but enough, I think, considering the amount of sleep I got.  

I plan to take another shower tonight before I go to bed.  It's a good policy I think coming off the bus and a shift at germ world.  

I plan to buy lunch at work.  I want something different for a change.  

That's it for now.  

Allergy cleanse

 I had a lot of bedding on the bed.  I'm one of those "cold house warm bed" people.  I had 4 blankets, a quilt, and a standard queen sheet set on the bed, with 4 pi - 5 pillows in the bed. 

So I stripped it all off and washed it, that took pretty much all day.  

I also fried up some pupusas - I bought some frozen at the local grocery store and fried up 2 in the skillet today (one at a time).  They were delicious and crispy.  The oil did get a little hot, and smoke.  

If directions say cook on medium or high (my stovetop knobs go up to #9) I have to keep it at 2 because my burners get VERY hot.  Always setting #2 if I want good food - very interesting, that. 

I was TERRIFIED of my gas stove when we first bought the house I kept thinking it would explode on me but almost 20 years later it has not.  I just have to keep the heat setting at #2.  I like it.  

I just use the stove top.  

I have a toaster oven if I want to cook a can of biscuits. 

So I do feel better when I go in the bedroom I'm not as congested.  I have decided I'm going to spread a top sheet on the bed and cover the bedding with it, wash the top sheet often.  

That should help with the allergies. 

So I woke up with a mild sore throat

 And I am the hugest hypocrite.  I get annoyed people come to work sick.  Employees coming in sick even though we only get 5 sick days every 6 months.  Customers coming in sick I don't like, but I "get" because they may need more decongestant or taco seasoning for dinner that night.  But work has been a cacophony of coughing, sneezing the last month or so.  

I was sneezing as well, with a mildly runny nose, so I thought oh crap I caught something else.  I took some Oregano oil and vitamin C and went back to bed.  

I feel a little better now (I also took my allergy meds and antidepressant).  I am hoping it is just allergies from sleeping with the cats.  

Should I wash all the bedding?  I have a ton of blankets on there...

But there's a lot of this: 

You get the idea.  

I'm going to try to take it easy today.  

Some on the cats

 It is to my shame I say I have not always been a positive person.  I have been called on that a few times.  So I was lying in bed last night talking to Cleo, who was standing on me purring at me (so cuddly when I am lying down - won't come near me sitting or standing!).  I was thinking about the cats and some of the names I call them.  

I don't use pet names or nicknames as security answers so this is fine to share.  

I will go alphabetically:  

Biscuit: Mr Kitty Cat, BIS-KIT!, mostly Mr Kitty Cat, it's very dignified for him.  He's a mature citizen not a playful kitten anymore.  And that's perfect.  

Cleo: CLEE-YO!, Baby Kitten - I have a whole "Baby Kitten" song I sing her.  "Baby Kitten, you're my BAY-BE kitten!" etc.  

Spotty is also a mature little gentlemen (almost 5) so I call him: Spot Man.  Very rarely Mr Spotasaur.  Spell checker loves that.  

The TV show I'm watching has a daughter dealing with her mother's Alzheimer's disease.  Hits a little close to home.  

That's it for this post.  

My poor cats

 So I have roofers next door.  Good.  They need a new roof; the homeowner went with the cheapest bid on replacing the roof after Ike and have had nothing but trouble with it.  

There is compressor noise, hammering, nail gun, conversation, radio, etc.  Cleo was terrified but out in the house.  Biscuit fled in terror under the bed.  I haven't seen Spotty at all.  

Poor rescued babies think someone is going to come over and GET them.  

It's going to take a little bit unpacking for yesterday

 So I got up an hour later, walked to the bus stop, was not eaten by the dog, took "new" buses with mostly (I had 1 driver knew me already) "new" drivers so "new" evangelism which is great.  I got to work early and clocked in on time, went to work.  

My co worker was there the one who is capricious.  You don't want her as an enemy, for instance I remarked the boss has made me call her every time I take a break and she mentioned she had said I was "coming back late" from my breaks which is a flat out lie and then she made an excuse "I didn't say that I just said we didn't have any coverage during your breaks" which is also a lie but I wasn't surprised, I figured it was something like that and just got it confirmed.  I didn't react I just kept working.  But I made a note, that's what I do these days.  

Because the woman looks for fights and wages war with very nasty tactics.  Like lying to the boss about your breaks.  She is also the one who said "I don't want to hear about your dead husband" a few months after Ron died.   She admits she is bipolar and ADD.  She can get a lot of work done when she is manic and kind of flits around which suits her.  

So it wasn't BAD but it was TAXING.  I felt like I had to keep checking my back for knives.  Later on another employee told me this lady bought an X box for one of the team leads which helps explain why she seems to be bulletproof.  She also admits she doesn't need the money.  Watch your six!  (Old military slang for watch your back)

She left at 2, I went to do the zone, got it done by 3.  Called the boss who did not want me to take my lunch at 3 but couldn't argue with the fact that I came in at 10 (had been working 5 hours), and got off at 7 (so I required a lunch).  We both knew there wasn't going to be a "better" time, either, so I went.  

I came back at 4 and went to work.  I took my last break at 5:20 (she really didn't want to give me that but I reminded her again I had come in at 10) and finished it all before I left at 7.  

Ace got me, I remembered to bring my stick home.  I had packed a nice lunch with cheese bread and yogurt for first break; big green salad with good dressing, 4 kinds of cheese, and some cut up fruit for my lunch; I forget what I had on my last break.  I also had an Atkins coffee shake if I needed it (I did not).  

I was tired when I came home and was going to tell my parents I needed a little time to lay down but they were busy last night.  So I just called my aunt for a few minutes and went to bed.  

I got up around 6 this morning and already did my God Time.  I need to check my schedule.  

I am not sure what I'm doing today.  That's it for now!  

I just had a cycle 2 weeks ago

 And I'm spotting!  

I am one of the few women I know going through this.  Everyone else had a hysterectomy.

Made it to lunch

 Had more fruit and cheese with a green salad.  It was good and a nice change of pace...I am pretty sick of sandwiches.

Staying busy which makes the day go faster.  I am ready to get home and relax a few days.  

I'm going to go look at cat pictures and do some Bible study.  That's it for now!  

Friday at work

 I got some nice compliments on my second bus today.  She said all the drivers on my route love getting me and look forward to seeing me at the bus stop.  I thought that was sweet and was glad I had put some chocolate in her bag.  

I handed out 4 bags of candy, 3 of them to new to me drivers.  Not bad!  It adds up; I just need to be diligent in prayer.

Seems quiet so far but it's a payday and a lot of people will be spending.  We don't get paid on the first but do get it every 2 weeks.  Sometimes I guess it does line up but not often.

I just saw my coach - my boss's boss.  He is a very nice guy and very approachable.

My back is a tiny bit stiff from that bus drama last week so I think I'll take the naproxen I brought just in case. 

That's it for now!