I am still processing out everything that happened in my marriage. Twice last night in my dreams I was explaining parts of it to someone. I am glad they brought him back as I would have been in big trouble if Ron had died in 03. But the next 18 years were definitely a mixed blessing. Not in a hurry to get into that again. I suspect if I meet someone and it get serious he will be pushing me to commit and I will be reluctant a reversal of times with Ron.
The frozen waters were a big hit with the drivers yesterday. Doing that again today. I have $62 so doing OK. I need to get some bread, milk, and water if I can get my guy to come later tonight. I can get the bread before work but not the rest.
I am listening to my Bible Handout mix. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFDD73B1D552748FD
A couple of the songs talk about "getting crunk" for Jesus. I am a white suburban Presbyterian I had no idea. "What is 'crunk'? How do I get it?" 😂 Eventually I figured out it means excitement or enthusiasm.
I am looking forward to my next handout even though it will be hot. Surprisingly the scrape on my palm has bothered me more than the jammed middle finger. But I wash my hands a lot anyway so it didn't get infected. I also have sanitizer at work. The palm is almost better but does have a scaly, penny-sized, itchy spot so I am trying to get a lot of Essential fatty acids and Vitamin E.
Ack I got to take my shower!
That's done, did my Bible study. During it Spotty was curled up on the bed with his head resting on a Bible, but he wouldn't let me take a photo. It would have been adorable.
The dog next door is outside, barking and barking. The real temperature is going to be over 100 degrees today that's not the "feels like" that is the actual. And someone like me can choose to go out in that and go to work. But the dog is helpless. My cats have a cat door and are choosing to spend the day inside of course. That dog should be on a couch or bed in the house under an AC vent.
That house has had a procession of tenants and without fail they have all, except for one family with a doxie, severely neglected their dogs. And the owner is home the car is in the driveway.
It is sad and frustrating. I can only hope they are giving her (the dog) a lot of water. I care too much. Don't ask God to give you a big heart.
Speaking of I am worried about "Buddy" my slow friend. He lives in housing and was talking on the bus the other day about how he goes up to random young men (gang members) at gas stations telling them they need to go to work and (become productive citizens). He is going to get his ass kicked at best or shot at worst. Even I don't approach those guys I just stand there on the median with my sign and give Bibles to whoever asks.
Oh speaking of Bibles apparently a bunch are on the way. I have decided it is just easier to send links to potential sponsors, along with my address, that way they can buy whatever speaks to them. And who doesn't like shopping? It was worked out very well. There was one guy I gave a specific link to but generally I send a couple. So I am getting Spanish, more Bilingual, something else...hopefully in time for the Handout. I still have some NIV though and plenty of New Testaments. I like the New Testament in a bad area because a lot of people don't have cars and the NT can fit in a pocket.
I'm going to get dressed. I got a different color flare leg legging to wear those have been the coolest (as in not hot) thing I have found to wear to work lately. Jeans are just way too hot and miserable. So that with performance t on top gets me to work and of course I have a ride home.
That's it for now.
4 comments:
I think your story is why I won't tolerate my husband even raising his voice to me.
Yeah what I worry about Ron was great in the beginning but pretty much the minute I moved in with him it's "Let's go to the liquor store" and it went downhill from there. But he was capable of awful behavior even dead sober.
My grandma tolerated lots of abuse and cheating. My dad said women didn't have options back then. I refuse to live like that. It's not good for the man, either to not be held accountable at home.
I could do a whole blog on this but Ron had me over a barrel financially. Once I quit my "good" office job to go work for him he had me under his thumb. He paid me a pittance and I couldn't save up enough to leave, and everyone involved in the blind vendor program would have followed his lead and given me a bad reference if I left him. He accused me of stealing from him on a couple of occasions... you get the idea, it would have ruined me for finding another job. He wouldn't put me on his credit card and didn't want me to have one of my own when I got offers. Since he paid all the bills that was OK when he was sober but when he was not I had very few choices.
Even the time he beat me black and blue I didn't have anywhere to go; had I reported him to the police he would have lost his security clearance, our jobs, the house, and I would have lost my cats which was untenable. It was a very bad situation.
Lesson learned even if I marry a rich man (LOL) I will continue to work and keep the house in my name only.
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