Saturday

The puppy was quiet last night.  However it is sleeping it is much happier than the last dog, who barked constantly every night for months. 

I got up and took my shower.  I didn't work out today because I need a day to recover.  Like I told Ron, since I have him and the business relying on me, I will take it slow and cautious. 

We went to the warehouse.  I got Jack some of their cinnamon rolls a few weeks back and he said they were the best ever.  He raved about them and is always happy to see them (I had been getting him double chocolate muffins).  I got a box for myself.  Then I got all our stuff, not a whole lot because we have been pretty slow. 

While waiting, I opened my cinnamon rolls and ate one.  They were awful.  I was so disappointed.  I ended up eating one and (later, at home) throwing the rest out.  I hate a let down like that. 

We went to work.  We didn't need to stock much but I helped Ron.  That's what I do, helping Ron.  It will be very interesting to see how I evolve when Ron "graduates".  Do I find another alcoholic or addict?  Maybe a uncontrolled bipolar?  Or do I wait a few years, season myself, and forget about "finding" love.  If God sends you someone, you don't have to look.  I do agree with my pastor on that one. 

I did talk to Ron about some other things the pastor said, I didn't agree with:
1.  "You" don't need mental illness medication.  All depression and mental illness are spiritual in nature and medication is NEVER required.  WRONG! 

2.  Caregiving is always a wonderful joy, never a hardship.  A good caregiver never has a bad moment where they snap at the patient, sigh, or roll their eyes.  No, it is all a love offering to the patient and to God and as such is practically a sacrament.  WRONG.  Very hurtful because real people, like me, get impatient.  We snap, we get impatient, we roll our eyes, we yell "WHAT?!" when bothered for the 4th time in 10 minutes, etc.  We get tired and depressed.  We wonder if we are doing any good.  We are human, and we need to be recognized as such. 

Otherwise a new caregiver is going to fall across all the negative and think they are a horrible, weak, person who doesn't measure up.  They will get discouraged and may even give up. 

Don't get me wrong, sometimes you need to surrender the patient, but I think for the most of us it is very healthy to just say "You're going to have bad moments/days". 

And that's a sad thing: I could find an AA group for spouses but I couldn't find one caregiver group with anyone.  Not in Houston.  Come on, people, we're a city of millions, you would think I'd find something. 

Anyway, we finished at work and went outside early.  The two televisions in our area were on, competing stations, and very annoying.  But the workers love them. 

We went outside, it was nice, 70's, just a little breeze, sunny.  A good opportunity to get some Vitamin D and sunshine.  I am cycling depressed so the more sunlight, the better. 

We had to wait a while and the cab driver had another passenger, but Ron could sit in his preferred spot and I sat next to him (I prefer up front but it was taken).  We dropped her off at a local grocery chain in a really terrible neighborhood.  Then he took us home.  Traffic was light so not a problem. 

I threw the cinnamon rolls away and took a nap.  Ron said he would need my help around 3:30.  I set an alarm.  I heard the dog vocalizing but I could still drop off.  Torbie slept with me, and then, later, Biscuit.  Always a pleasure to see them in my bed. 

I slept until the alarm went off, got up, got dressed.  Ron told me he had made an arrangement with the cab driver and the liquor store, to buy more strawberry vodka (he was almost out of the plain stuff, so a run was going to happen anyway).  He needed my help to make sure the cats did not get out during the process. 

I was Not Happy about it but knew he would do it anyway.  So I made sure the cats did not get out.  He got a gallon and a half of the stuff.  Ick.  Then of course he had to arrange it.  I was just not feeling the love towards him and I think he picked up on it, he silently rolled off towards his room and got into bed. 

I battled a bad mood for a while and decided to use it on dishes.  I had some dishes from last night, I had to clean the skillet and flipper, and also put the leftovers into a freezer bag and freeze that for him.  Then I had to wash that bowl.  So I did that.  I ran the garbage disposal, we find it freezes up if we don't run it every day (and I seldom do a lot of cooking/dishes).  It is almost 40 years old, an Insinkerator.  When it goes, we will get another Insinkerator. 

That's all done, so I came back on my computer. 

I need to figure out my dinner.  I took my morning pills a little late (doesn't matter) so I want to take my evening pills a little later so the morning's iron doesn't eat the Vitamin E I take with dinner.  My supplement plan is working, my blood results were great, so I might as well keep it up. 

I have tons of yogurt and cottage cheese, a big block of sharp cheddar, several TV dinners, and some Blue Bell pints in the freezer.  An interesting note about Walmart delivery: they don't deliver Blue Bell.  So I had to buy that in the store and bring it home. 

Is it an "I want ice cream and I want it now" sort of night?  No.  I will probably try my chicken parmesan dinner and see how I like that.  It is also pretty big so I'd like to free up that room in the freezer.  I need to get some protein in the mix, too.  I've only had about 20 grams and I like to aim for 60 minimum, especially since I am working out. 

Tomorrow I should have a good and sweaty workout on kettlebells and bike.  Hopefully my new clip fan will stay in place.  I got a tarp to put down in the garage so I can do ab work.  I think I already get a lot at work but more can't hurt. 

Fitness tracker says: 86 move minutes out of 60, 4 cardio points, 6 thousand steps, and about 1.8 miles walked total.  My foot is still a little sore so I am careful. 

I will call my parents in a little while, probably go to voicemail as it is a holiday weekend, but I will call.  I will check the mail later, maybe Ron got some more talking books although he seems happy with what he has. 

And then probably laundry on Sunday.  But hopefully I will be able to sleep in tomorrow.  I had a pretty good sleep the other day though.