Well, Ron flaked on bathtime. I did a lot today, though.
Cleaned out the bathroom, took a shower, set it up for Ron (will have to put it back tomorrow). Various housework, I need to mop the tile floor pretty soon.
I laid down for a nap but couldn't sleep. Got up and got dressed right as the yard guy showed up with his crew/family. I took them some Gatorades. He asked how Ron was doing, he got a look in Ron's window when he was working and Ron apparently looked bad. I said he was OK (nothing he could do, but I didn't say that) and went in the house. Ron was awake and wanted to pay him, but the guy wouldn't take the money. He is more stubborn than Ron in this regard. He is doing this to be kind and not to make money.
I remember one day the yard guy was working in our yard and one of the neighbors came over and said "Do my yard too". The guy looks at him and says "I only have subscription customers, and I'm full up". The homeowner just gaped and wandered off. It is nice to be able to say no if you are not interested.
So they left. The yard looks great. One less thing to worry about.
I cleaned the litter box and fed the cats a couple of times, on demand. Ron woke up and said he wasn't up for a bath. Well, I can't argue with that. It's not like I can forcibly throw him in there. I will try again tomorrow.
I watched some TV. Drank some milk before it goes out of code. Ron doesn't want dinner, either. [sigh] He's not going to get over this thing if he doesn't eat.
I was thinking to make some ravioli, but it is pretty warm, I don't want to boil water, and Ron won't want to run the A/C just for dinner. I have plenty of other things in the freezer.
I had plenty of protein today so no worries about that, whatever I eat ought to work. Ron did make our trips for tomorrow so we can get that handled.
3 comments:
When I first worked in patient psych I used to want to washing everyone up it made me feel better to see folks cleaned ..clean always meant better health in ambulatory care and I had no idea that psych was a whole new ball park for this old lady. The MHTs used to tell me to “back off “ and “just wait and see” when I tried to push someone to bath or shave or whatever.
After a few months I got it . ...when the patient starts asking for soap and items to shave and pull themselves together ..well their mental health is improving and it is one of the easiest indicators to improved mental health (I know you know this because you talk about depression and how hard it is to even shower ..people do not understand this is not a “mind over matter” thing the mind is NOT cooperatiing and it will not let the rest of the body do anything while it is ill...I NOW see the desire to groom to be a good sign of improving mental health
For many I see it means the meds are working...if it were an issue of mind over matter I believe there would only be the randomn person Staying sick because most folks are just like you Heather they WANT to feel better . Ron apparently isn’t there is wallowing in his own misery and truly there is not a damn thing you can do about it. I am only writing this for folks I see who tend to blame you for what is going on and no way in hell can anyone blame you for Rons condition you should not blame you and i know you have guilt and concern because you truly love him ..forgive him literally everything while he tosses you scraps of kindness you only see the good in him most days.
Ron will not get better or improve on his hygiene until he feels better and the longer he waits the harder it will get. You take good care of yourself dear Heather you are a strong insightful woman who has more gifts to give the world than you can imagine ..like maybe go work at a vet clinic or shelter ?
I still think a Domestic abuse advocate would be worth persueing and crisis counselor worth his or her salt or a social worker someone to help you fortify yourself before things get any worse.
Readers please do not blame the victim here she is in survival mode herself and as angry as it makes a reader imagine not feeling the support when you spill your guts to the public and the public comes back at you with anger?
I know Ron has depression and that affects his grooming. All I can do is provide supplies and the willingness to help.
Today at work was very depressing for both of us, so little he could do. Neither of us had the energy for a bath after that, but I will try tomorrow.
No one is blaming Heather for rons condition but she is at fault for staying with him and changing her story numerous times about why she stays.
Post a Comment