The crash IS coming

I've had such a bad headache, the last couple days, I thought today was Friday.  I woke up hurting.  I took some generic Excedrin (many were consumed, today).  I was apparently so pitiful Ron sent me back to bed for hours.  "Get up at one" he told me "We will do [the monthly P&L report] when you do". 

But first, a Possum update.  I put some applesauce a little ways inside the cage.  Possum licked the container clean and took it a little ways away from the cage.  One of the cats (I figure) triggered the trap but it didn't catch Possum.  Possum made a little noise last night after that, but not too much.  Probably full of applesauce. 

The internet is right, possums do love fruit. 

Back to the migraine.  So, I crawled back into bed, unwashed.  Torbie felt sorry for me and curled up with me while I desperately tried to shake the headache.  I slept a little bit and had dreams where I had a migraine, in the dream. 

I really hate migraines and am so glad I did not have kids, to pass this onto.  I am sure it would have torn up my birth mother to know how I suffer with migraines (she had them, too). 

I like to think it would have bothered her, but who knows?  All I know for sure she ran off when I was 3 and couldn't be bothered to visit, much. 

Torbie played nurse-cat and laid next to my head (my favorite!) as I curled up in bed.  I got up at 1 and took some more generic Excedrin.  Ron was asleep.  I took a shower. 

It is hard for him to get good sleep with his back, so I didn't bother him.  His alarm went off at 2, and my pain meds had kicked in pretty well by then.  We did the report, filed it, and made our online payment. 

We talked a little.  I was finally starting to feel a little better.  We had planned to go out to dinner to celebrate doing the report. 

And we got there: and it was closed.  Family emergency.  Happily there is a good Mexican food place next door.  Ron had said he wanted nachos, anyway. 

I had a quesadilla and Ron had his nachos.  He had fun eating it but didn't make a big mess.  I was surprised.  It was nice to finally have an appetite for the first time in days, I ate my quesadilla and two small tacos.  Then I ate a piece of milk candy.  It is a hard, crumbly, bar that is sweet and creamy.  It does not trigger migraines.  About the only candy in the world that does not trigger a migraine, for me. 

The waitress was young, cute, and sweet.  She was flirting with the contractors who came in to buy dinner.  This restaurant would be a good place for a young girl looking for a certain type of man, hardworking, looking for love.  I hope she finds the right guy. 

We were there a while, because paratransit doesn't believe in short trips.  It rained pretty hard, I saw a lot of lightning over by the house.  I worried we might have lost power. 

Why would that matter?  Well, we use the electric garage door opener to get in and out of the house.  We go into the garage, shut the door, and then go into the house.  We do the same thing in reverse when we leave.  No electric = no garage door.  It keeps the cats safe. 

We had to go to the closed restaurant to get picked up, because that's what they had on record.  The one time we had them change our pickup location we had to wait for 2 hours.  So, better for me to push Ron over to the other place.  It was in a strip mall, just a couple of addresses down.  No big deal for me, and it was covered so no rain even. 

The big van came to get us, and she forgot to unlock the passenger door.  So, while she was busy helping Ron in the wheelchair, I had to stand out in the rain.  I don't know if she did it on purpose or not but I didn't get mad, I just did the pitiful thing and whined a little. 

We had a straight trip home and the garage door worked.  I got Ron inside, his leftovers in the fridge, his vitamins into Ron (amid much complaining).  I took my pills.  Not my antidepressant.  I just don't feel up for it, today. 

Besides, I am still manic.  Exhausted but a little rev in my engine.  I'm going to enjoy it while I can. 

It's kind of a paradox.  On the one hand I need to do as many active things as I can (like my search for teakettles, electric and standard; housecleaning, laundry, work) while I have the energy, because the crash IS coming. 

But on the other hand, I just had a multi-day migraine that had me so messed up I didn't even know the day of the week.  I need to rest and take care of myself. 

But the crash is coming. 

It's awful, like a looming tidal wave.  I think the depressions with bipolar are God's way of keeping us under control.  When we're manic we can be pretty arrogant.  If we just went up to normal we would be pretty insufferable, I think.  But the depressions, humiliating, humbling, make me realize how weak I am (even with medication). 

Just a thought. 

Now there's the medication kicking in.  So I'm groggy from the headache, and the medication.  Hopefully I will not have any trouble sleeping tonight. 

Hopefully Possum will let me sleep. 

Ron is letting me sleep in a little later tomorrow which will be nice.  I hope I get some good rest tonight. 

I need it, after days of that headache.