I am Facebook friends with my primary abuser. As it turns out, he hasn't done that well and I am small enough to get a little twinge of revenge when I see it.
I just saw a photo of him on Facebook, he put it up. In it, he is half dressed, skinny, his hair is a nest, and he is wearing heavy black eye makeup like one of the goth kids. He looks miserable.
And you told me I should unfriend him.
I told you I could be small.
7 comments:
You're not taking all you meds are you?
I am taking everything as directed. I'd have to be suicidal to go off my meds without talking to my doctor, and I'm not.
HOWEVER today I have had a horrible persistent headache. I have taken two doses of Excedrin, which have made me manic. Good for housework, cooking, and Ron care. Not so good for my mood.
I feel like I drank two pots of coffee. I am very sensitive to caffeine. I just hope I can sleep tonight.
Don't worry, soon enough I will plummet into depression and will post 2x a week.
"I am taking everything as directed." That EXPLAINS everything. You need to get to your doctor and get back on all your meds as directed. It is impairing your judgement at this point with ron, his drinking and pill use.
OK, NOW you've managed to insult me. I am taking everything my doctor gave me, as directed. Do you have reading trouble?
I don't need to get "back" on anything because I AM TAKING IT ALL.
A hypo mania is not a medical emergency, he has said many times. I think he finds them "cute".
I am taking well over the adult dose of lithium, every day. PLUS another mood stabilizer I REQUESTED be added to my cocktail, some years ago. PLUS antidepressant and antipsychotic. I do not drink. I don't take anything illegal. I am getting enough sleep. I don't use caffeine except for what is found in headache pills. I have an active faith life. I am probably living "better" than you.
Are you a phlebotomist? Want to come over and do a blood draw, check my lithium level? And bash my housekeeping while you're at it?
Everytime I have seen my doctor he has told me I am doing GREAT, IN SPITE of horrific pressures. He brags on me to the medical students.
You need to MYOB.
I am sorry you are right you did say you were taking ALL your meds as directed. I have been reading your blog for a while and you seem to be acting strange and I believe it has to do with the stress of Ron and the pills. At least with the alcohol you could deal the best you could. I feel like he is manipulating you with this and faking his pain, since it just started ramping up out of the blue. If you continue on the path with him that you are on he will take you down with him. Your mania is concerning as well as your headaches too.
Apology accepted. I am just a little manic right now, it is my body's way of coping with the stress. I don't do well sleep deprived and Ron moaning all night certainly affected me. Then the headache pills with caffeine. Regular painkillers don't work on my headaches, I have to take the caffeine ones.
The alcohol is the worst - I would do anything to get him off that. His behavior on alcohol has been nothing short of abusive, to both of us. The only ones who benefit are the cats, who beg for treats repeatedly (and get them, because he's forgotten he treated them already).
I believe the pain is real.
I've had headaches my whole life, and plenty of stress my whole life, so that's not new. I am focusing on things that make me happy, the cats, cooking, evangelism, my faith life. That's about all I can do for now.
I truly believe God is working on Ron. There's a verse in Job about a man being - here, I will just copy it. NKJV version:
Job 33:19 “Man is also chastened with pain on his bed, And with strong pain in many of his bones,"
I believe Ron is so stubborn (at times, he has had to be) that this is the only way God can teach him. It also keeps my eyes on God, where they belong, my heart on pleasing God and making Him happy.
It's not easy, though. Hopefully the mania will come back tomorrow, we will be busy.
You have every right to be "small". Not sure how you can even be facebook friends with your abuser but getting to see the karma is kinda fun I'm sure!. What a horrible person he must be. too many of those out there.
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