I was able to sleep about half the night. I had to help Ron into bed a total of 3 times. I could do it but it reminded me of when I'm lifting weights, want to be careful, feel the strain but not too bad.
As a result, I cancelled today's workout. I had felt the lifting a little in my butt, and back, today and don't want to push it. My spine was OK but one of my "lats" was a little angry.
I got up and took a shower, got Ron up. Got him dressed. Someone banged on the door while I was helping Ron with his sandals. It was the driver, early, rushing us. I hate it when they do that. I had to stop dressing Ron, go up front, tell the driver we were coming, go BACK to Ron, finish. Frustrating. And he was 10 minutes early.
We came out before the pickup and Ron wanted to ride in the back. There was a woman, another one of those "not apparently disabled" ladies with tons of groceries, sitting in the only seat he can use. She wouldn't have moved for him so Ron had to ride in the back. The driver seemed surly.
The driver actually lives near us. He was a regular cab driver for a while, but the times we called he was never available. Then he decided to open a lawn care service, but the market on that is saturated with illegals and he probably charged too much. Having failed at 2 ventures, he decided to become a paratransit driver. But he is surly about it because he wanted to make it on his own, not working for someone. Well, that doesn't always work.
He took the longest, bumpiest, road, not going gently either. Ron's sitting in his wheelchair in the back compartment bumping up and down as the driver went down a "tore-up" road. We finally got to the bank. He unloaded Ron and shoved him at me.
I went to the door of the bank and found someone to open it for us. I thanked them (a mechanic, from his uniform) and went inside. Ron wanted me to sort through some $5's for him. I did that. He asked me to give him a few back and take the rest to the window. We went to the window.
There was a mexican guy and a black guy at the window. Neither spoke very good English. They were trying to conduct a transaction. When the teller asked the mexican guy to swipe his (bank) ATM card he backed out and said he wouldn't do it. So that was the end of that.
Then we had "Tell me the balance on each of my accounts, which are several, then let's do some transfers and take out some cash". In the meantime a black lady was shouting and accusing the bank of persecuting her because they wanted some sort of documentation.
Finally our turn. She sorted the money and turned the $1's into $20s, did the deposit, etc. The man behind us got very impatient. I think he was manic. He was literally jumping from foot to foot, banging on the divider pole, jingling his keys obsessively, etc. Very annoying.
Finally all done. I got my money and stuck it in a safe place (never my bra, that is just disgusting). Ron called Arturo and we went through a drive through. We went home and I got Ron in the house. He had one drink, literally, before he asked me to take him to bed. I did.
I drank my shake and took my pills. I was full so I put my burger in the fridge and took a nap. I woke up after about an hour, with a bad headache. I forgot that vanilla shakes can be a headache trigger. It took me a couple of hours to squash it without using headache pills.
I couldn't find Biscuit's extra bag of treats, I felt awful about it. I finally found them about 20 minutes ago, in the bedroom.
I called my aunt. We had a good talk but what can you say? Not much! I hung up and the depression hit me. I knew it was coming, but it takes a while. Things don't always hit me right away, it takes a while and then look out.
I got an email that my groceries were coming. I went outside. It was a nice day, overcast, breezy, jasmine swaying in the breeze. Like an old song. He arrived and we put everything in the garage. I signed and he left, then I shut the garage door and opened the door to the house. Biscuit was fascinated smelling everything. I put everything away and had a snack, watched a little TV. Ron woke up and went to the kitchen for one more drink, then I took him back to bed. I got him to drink a little soda, better than nothing but I would like to see him downing a quart or two every day. I do that before 9 AM, most days!
I cleaned out the fridge a little. Now I am just waiting until 1. I get hungry so I can eat (no rush because I already took my pills) and 2. mail time. Once the mail arrives I will check it for more talking books. It is amazing to think Ron used to walk out there with his long white cane and check for books. Not he can barely open a bottle.
I told him, as he was getting ready to drink, that a lot of people had doubts about how he could drink with a messed up hand. 'You're not going to help me" he replied. "If I want to drink I have to do it myself." He's right about that!
I am just glad he is being more responsible for now, I was getting tired of picking him off the floor.
I need to figure out when I am going to the store. I am not inclined to do it tomorrow, Chuck will be busy running errands and everyone will want a ride from Arturo. It is likely to rain so that's a factor, too. I will think about it.
Ron still hasn't turned on the A/C. It has been pretty warm lately but he is trying to save money on the bill. I haven't confronted him yet but it is getting a little uncomfortable late afternoon/early evenings.
That's it for now.
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Monday, April 29, 2019
What a Monday
What a day.
I forget why, but I was exhausted when I woke up and reset the alarm. I had planned to do a workout this morning, but did it later. We went to work.
Ron was a little better but not much, I had to help him extensively. We got it all done and came home. After helping Ron with various things I didn't have time for a nap, but I laid down for a little bit with Torbie.
Ron woke up, said he was having a very bad day for pain in his foot. It was coming from his back but manifesting in his foot. This happens with him sometimes.
He drank a fair amount, and barely got in his wheelchair. Our ride came to go to the pain doc. He tried to get in the cab and could not, he had to ride in the wheelchair compartment. I fail to understand, this is two times now, when I yell "WE NEED THE WHEELCHAIR" and the driver is very lazy about getting it back to us, as I'm literally holding Ron up. Then shove it at us and walk off without holding it. I got him in the wheelchair but NO THANKS.
We rode around for a while. An Asian woman in the front seat gossiped in her first language, on the phone, as we took her way off the beaten path, but fairly near the pain doctor.
We got to the pain doc almost an hour early. They took us back and gave us a room, said they would not need urine this month. Doc came in.
I told him about Ron's hand. He was concerned and said Ron needs to get that checked out at an ER. He said "No thanks". Doc did a lot of charting after that - CYA.
He then looked at his notes on Ron's MRI. "Boy, you have a really jacked up back" he remarked. "Shots won't help". I asked what was bad, in particular. I know about the curvature (sideways), I know about the disc disease, arthritis, and stenosis. I asked if it was the actual spine. He said the spinal cord is "very tight in there" and needed surgery.
Ron, again, said no thanks. His last back operation was horrific for both of us. Ron then asked for more pain pills, Doc said no.
That was pretty much it. On the way home, Ron had the driver go through the liquor store and pick up his vodka. [sigh] I was at Taco Bell nearby getting our dinner.
Then we came home, cab driver puts the liquor in the garage, by the door, and left. I pushed Ron in the house. Ron got into the liquor as I was changing for my workout. I told him explicitly I would not help him during my workout, if he needed anything he had better deal with it now.
He asked for one of his burritos. I gave it to him and helped him unwrap it. 12 minutes into my workout I heard a crash. Ron had fallen out of his wheelchair. [curses] I went back to my exercise bike. There is no getting him off the floor when he is drunk like that. I finished the bike portion of my workout, logged it, and then went out in the garage to do shoulders (not a lot, just the basics). I came back in, moved his wheelchair, stepped over him, and got myself a drink. Lemonade, not alcohol.
I poured a glass of milk and got my food, ate it, took my pills. Good, I have fulfilled my primary function. Now I have to do some accounting stuff for the business. Ron will probably be out for a couple of hours.
I just hope I can sleep tonight.
I forget why, but I was exhausted when I woke up and reset the alarm. I had planned to do a workout this morning, but did it later. We went to work.
Ron was a little better but not much, I had to help him extensively. We got it all done and came home. After helping Ron with various things I didn't have time for a nap, but I laid down for a little bit with Torbie.
Ron woke up, said he was having a very bad day for pain in his foot. It was coming from his back but manifesting in his foot. This happens with him sometimes.
He drank a fair amount, and barely got in his wheelchair. Our ride came to go to the pain doc. He tried to get in the cab and could not, he had to ride in the wheelchair compartment. I fail to understand, this is two times now, when I yell "WE NEED THE WHEELCHAIR" and the driver is very lazy about getting it back to us, as I'm literally holding Ron up. Then shove it at us and walk off without holding it. I got him in the wheelchair but NO THANKS.
We rode around for a while. An Asian woman in the front seat gossiped in her first language, on the phone, as we took her way off the beaten path, but fairly near the pain doctor.
We got to the pain doc almost an hour early. They took us back and gave us a room, said they would not need urine this month. Doc came in.
I told him about Ron's hand. He was concerned and said Ron needs to get that checked out at an ER. He said "No thanks". Doc did a lot of charting after that - CYA.
He then looked at his notes on Ron's MRI. "Boy, you have a really jacked up back" he remarked. "Shots won't help". I asked what was bad, in particular. I know about the curvature (sideways), I know about the disc disease, arthritis, and stenosis. I asked if it was the actual spine. He said the spinal cord is "very tight in there" and needed surgery.
Ron, again, said no thanks. His last back operation was horrific for both of us. Ron then asked for more pain pills, Doc said no.
That was pretty much it. On the way home, Ron had the driver go through the liquor store and pick up his vodka. [sigh] I was at Taco Bell nearby getting our dinner.
Then we came home, cab driver puts the liquor in the garage, by the door, and left. I pushed Ron in the house. Ron got into the liquor as I was changing for my workout. I told him explicitly I would not help him during my workout, if he needed anything he had better deal with it now.
He asked for one of his burritos. I gave it to him and helped him unwrap it. 12 minutes into my workout I heard a crash. Ron had fallen out of his wheelchair. [curses] I went back to my exercise bike. There is no getting him off the floor when he is drunk like that. I finished the bike portion of my workout, logged it, and then went out in the garage to do shoulders (not a lot, just the basics). I came back in, moved his wheelchair, stepped over him, and got myself a drink. Lemonade, not alcohol.
I poured a glass of milk and got my food, ate it, took my pills. Good, I have fulfilled my primary function. Now I have to do some accounting stuff for the business. Ron will probably be out for a couple of hours.
I just hope I can sleep tonight.
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Sunday
Having a tough time but at least I am sleeping OK.
When Biscuit first got sick, months ago, his medicine made him wobbly and he kept falling if he tried to jump on the bed. So I made a step by my bed, and Ron's, so he could get up. I noticed Torbie really appreciated the steps so I kept them around.
The other day I was lying in bed. If I want to find Torbie I would turn on my noisemaker, I only play it when I'm going to sleep. I turned it on, I was in bed. She came running from the hall and took a flying leap to my bed, which is about 20 inches off the floor. And she went splat. It was awful to see. She had jumped on the opposite side of the step.
So, when I got up I put another storage box next to the bed, making an additional step for her. She has been using it a lot and loves it. That's about the only way she shows her age. You should see her bugging Ron for treats. A bad hand is no excuse so he makes with them.
She's been sleeping with me. Biscuit is on and off but the weather is nice and he just caught a sparrow the other day (left the head by my computer chair).
I got up around 8 this morning. I got on the computer for a while. I was really happy one of my favorite authors has written a ton of books since I last bought one. Frederic Delavier. He is a French illustrator and fitness expert. He has written anatomy training books literally cutting into the human body as it does various exercises and showing the muscle groups worked. Drawings, of course. They're very good books and I enjoy them.
So I was happy to find him again when I was looking for a stretching book. He has one, and some others I am interested in. I plan to have a shelf in the garage, when I finish, for books like this. It was a nice little spot in my day, to find. I wish listed them.
I plan to save what is in my online account for another grocery delivery, I get paid pretty soon and I can make another deposit.
I took a shower, got dressed, then a walk. I went farther than I had before and better speed too. I am still being cautious because I really need my feet. I need my whole body working right.
It was uneventful. I encountered a little girl on the walk, she was playing in her driveway, and the grandmother acted like I was some sort of perverted serial killer out to rape and eat the child. I thought it was funny, you've seen my pictures. I don't think I look threatening at all. I just smiled and thanked the little girl when she blew some bubbles at me.
And I kept walking. I got home and Ron was awake. I helped him.
Once I finished with Ron, I got back on the computer again and then I took a nap. Torbie got on me the second I turned on the noisemaker, and we had a good time. I had a leg flung over one pillow, she used the other side of that same pillow as a mattress and head support. It was adorable.
I woke up with a headache, drank a cold diet soda but it is not helping. I just broke down and took some Excedrin. That means only one more dose this week. Oh, I started my cycle today so that is usually good for a headache. I thought I'd evade the headache today.
I stayed on the computer until Ron got up and called me, then I took him into the kitchen. He drank some vodka while I parted him from his shirt, then I compiled a load of laundry. When I had the load ready I ran it, about that time Ron said he was interested in food.
When Ron is sick it's a huge battle to get him to eat. "What goes in must come out" he says. As far as I know his digestion works well but he just loses interest. Him being hungry was a huge thing.
I heated up some sloppy joes and fed it to him. If he had seen the portion, he would have refused it, but he ate it one bite at a time. And he didn't make a mess because I fed it to him. He had already spilled a soda and was feeling frustrated.
He was happy and I took him back to bed. Very ugly getting back into bed but he did it. He likes to grab the sheet and pull himself that way. That works OK but it pulls the sheet off the mattress. I have to keep fixing it. Maybe I need to look into getting a handle of some sort he can use.
The clothes are in the dryer and the Excedrin is working. Ron refused a bath, I tried. He likes to use his cleaning cloths every day. He made the trips for tomorrow. We see his pain doc, who will hopefully point us toward some answers about Ron's hand.
I just hate to see him struggling.
I plan to go to bed early (if the caffeine wears off by then) and get up early, do a workout with the exercise bike and arms, then shower, get dressed, help Ron, etc. I bought some hard boiled, peeled, eggs at Walmart recently, I can have those for dinner with a nice hunk of cheddar cheese when my headache crawls off. I had hoped Ron would try the eggs, he needs lots of protein, but he said no. I will offer him one and see how he likes it.
Biscuit ate most of his ration before noon, he is going to have a hard time tonight. He really does seem to be a carb addict. But I want him healthier. It was awful at the animal hospital listening to his heart monitor and thinking how would I feel if it suddenly stopped? Awful. Because extra weight puts a strain on the heart. He can clean his butt now, he has lost enough weight for that, it is nice to look at his back end and it is fresh. It wasn't, before. :(
I am sorting out how I am going to store the food for the cats. I am pretty sure when I open Biscuit's 17 pound bag of food, I will put half into my pet food storage bin and leave the other half in the bag - somewhere. Haven't figured that out yet. The girl's food can go in the 5 gallon bucket. I store the bowl of food along with the bag of food. I may get another canister and put the girls' food in that.
But I am doing my best to take care of myself, the cats, and Ron. It hasn't been easy the last couple days but I will do it.
I don't plan to call my aunt yet, until we see the doctor. I will also "have" to call my parents because they would be upset if my aunt was told something they weren't. Those are not going to be fun conversations. But Ron was adamant the whole time he did not want a doctor or tests so I had to abide by that. It is his body. I have to respect that.
That's one reason Ron married me, I respect his decisions, even if they are bad ones. But whatever happened to him occurred when he was passed out on the floor and the "golden window" was gone by the time he woke up. If you catch a stroke within the first 4 hours they can do a lot more - later, not so much. Even if we had gone to the doctor the minute he sobered up I don't think it would have affected his outcome. Like Ron, I believe he had a stroke. From what I read it is possible to have a stroke only affect one limb.
Ugh. I need to focus on fun things and figure out which of Frederic's books I will be buying when I get paid. Since they have detailed drawings they are really better in person and not on a reader.
God's going to give me what I need to get through this, to take care of myself, Ron, and the cats. I am glad Ron and Biscuit did not happen at the same time. A disabled cat and a more disabled husband would have been a lot at the same time.
The dryer just buzzed so off to be a housewife and put them all away.
When Biscuit first got sick, months ago, his medicine made him wobbly and he kept falling if he tried to jump on the bed. So I made a step by my bed, and Ron's, so he could get up. I noticed Torbie really appreciated the steps so I kept them around.
The other day I was lying in bed. If I want to find Torbie I would turn on my noisemaker, I only play it when I'm going to sleep. I turned it on, I was in bed. She came running from the hall and took a flying leap to my bed, which is about 20 inches off the floor. And she went splat. It was awful to see. She had jumped on the opposite side of the step.
So, when I got up I put another storage box next to the bed, making an additional step for her. She has been using it a lot and loves it. That's about the only way she shows her age. You should see her bugging Ron for treats. A bad hand is no excuse so he makes with them.
She's been sleeping with me. Biscuit is on and off but the weather is nice and he just caught a sparrow the other day (left the head by my computer chair).
I got up around 8 this morning. I got on the computer for a while. I was really happy one of my favorite authors has written a ton of books since I last bought one. Frederic Delavier. He is a French illustrator and fitness expert. He has written anatomy training books literally cutting into the human body as it does various exercises and showing the muscle groups worked. Drawings, of course. They're very good books and I enjoy them.
So I was happy to find him again when I was looking for a stretching book. He has one, and some others I am interested in. I plan to have a shelf in the garage, when I finish, for books like this. It was a nice little spot in my day, to find. I wish listed them.
I plan to save what is in my online account for another grocery delivery, I get paid pretty soon and I can make another deposit.
I took a shower, got dressed, then a walk. I went farther than I had before and better speed too. I am still being cautious because I really need my feet. I need my whole body working right.
It was uneventful. I encountered a little girl on the walk, she was playing in her driveway, and the grandmother acted like I was some sort of perverted serial killer out to rape and eat the child. I thought it was funny, you've seen my pictures. I don't think I look threatening at all. I just smiled and thanked the little girl when she blew some bubbles at me.
And I kept walking. I got home and Ron was awake. I helped him.
Once I finished with Ron, I got back on the computer again and then I took a nap. Torbie got on me the second I turned on the noisemaker, and we had a good time. I had a leg flung over one pillow, she used the other side of that same pillow as a mattress and head support. It was adorable.
I woke up with a headache, drank a cold diet soda but it is not helping. I just broke down and took some Excedrin. That means only one more dose this week. Oh, I started my cycle today so that is usually good for a headache. I thought I'd evade the headache today.
I stayed on the computer until Ron got up and called me, then I took him into the kitchen. He drank some vodka while I parted him from his shirt, then I compiled a load of laundry. When I had the load ready I ran it, about that time Ron said he was interested in food.
When Ron is sick it's a huge battle to get him to eat. "What goes in must come out" he says. As far as I know his digestion works well but he just loses interest. Him being hungry was a huge thing.
I heated up some sloppy joes and fed it to him. If he had seen the portion, he would have refused it, but he ate it one bite at a time. And he didn't make a mess because I fed it to him. He had already spilled a soda and was feeling frustrated.
He was happy and I took him back to bed. Very ugly getting back into bed but he did it. He likes to grab the sheet and pull himself that way. That works OK but it pulls the sheet off the mattress. I have to keep fixing it. Maybe I need to look into getting a handle of some sort he can use.
The clothes are in the dryer and the Excedrin is working. Ron refused a bath, I tried. He likes to use his cleaning cloths every day. He made the trips for tomorrow. We see his pain doc, who will hopefully point us toward some answers about Ron's hand.
I just hate to see him struggling.
I plan to go to bed early (if the caffeine wears off by then) and get up early, do a workout with the exercise bike and arms, then shower, get dressed, help Ron, etc. I bought some hard boiled, peeled, eggs at Walmart recently, I can have those for dinner with a nice hunk of cheddar cheese when my headache crawls off. I had hoped Ron would try the eggs, he needs lots of protein, but he said no. I will offer him one and see how he likes it.
Biscuit ate most of his ration before noon, he is going to have a hard time tonight. He really does seem to be a carb addict. But I want him healthier. It was awful at the animal hospital listening to his heart monitor and thinking how would I feel if it suddenly stopped? Awful. Because extra weight puts a strain on the heart. He can clean his butt now, he has lost enough weight for that, it is nice to look at his back end and it is fresh. It wasn't, before. :(
I am sorting out how I am going to store the food for the cats. I am pretty sure when I open Biscuit's 17 pound bag of food, I will put half into my pet food storage bin and leave the other half in the bag - somewhere. Haven't figured that out yet. The girl's food can go in the 5 gallon bucket. I store the bowl of food along with the bag of food. I may get another canister and put the girls' food in that.
But I am doing my best to take care of myself, the cats, and Ron. It hasn't been easy the last couple days but I will do it.
I don't plan to call my aunt yet, until we see the doctor. I will also "have" to call my parents because they would be upset if my aunt was told something they weren't. Those are not going to be fun conversations. But Ron was adamant the whole time he did not want a doctor or tests so I had to abide by that. It is his body. I have to respect that.
That's one reason Ron married me, I respect his decisions, even if they are bad ones. But whatever happened to him occurred when he was passed out on the floor and the "golden window" was gone by the time he woke up. If you catch a stroke within the first 4 hours they can do a lot more - later, not so much. Even if we had gone to the doctor the minute he sobered up I don't think it would have affected his outcome. Like Ron, I believe he had a stroke. From what I read it is possible to have a stroke only affect one limb.
Ugh. I need to focus on fun things and figure out which of Frederic's books I will be buying when I get paid. Since they have detailed drawings they are really better in person and not on a reader.
God's going to give me what I need to get through this, to take care of myself, Ron, and the cats. I am glad Ron and Biscuit did not happen at the same time. A disabled cat and a more disabled husband would have been a lot at the same time.
The dryer just buzzed so off to be a housewife and put them all away.
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Most of Saturday
I slept OK last night, got up on time, got ready. Ron was able to get himself ready.
We went to the warehouse. They rode us around for a while first. One lady has internet but still going to Walmart, instead of getting delivery. I mentioned it and she had a bunch of excuses. The second one admitted she could ride the bus, but "didn't want to" (if you can ride the bus alone you don't get paratransit). She also had a huge folding cart, and literally 5 huge trash bags full of crap. It was a good thing Ron was riding in the back, she took up the entire whole back seat. The driver asked her why she was bringing so many personal posessions to the grocery store and more excuses. I think she had some sort of compulsive disorder. She reminded me of the homeless people with the bulging shopping cart. And she had a tantrum when she found out we were getting dropped first, until I told her sharply we had been riding for a while, and had an appointment time.
He couldn't count the money, I had to do it. I did the shopping, didn't buy much. Jack came and we went to work, we had an easy time unloading because I didn't get much.
Then I helped Ron stock. He could not unlock the vending machines. He could hold a bottle of soda, but put it in the row with great difficulty. It was heartwrenching to watch. Very depressing and not a little scary, too. I did what I could to help without emasculating him.
Ron went over and above to keep his negativity pointed away from me. He was very careful. I appreciated it and let him know. We got it all stocked and finished early. We went outside. He got hot so I put him in the shade and waited on the bench in the sun. I always figure sunlight is good for depression and it is impossible not to be at present.
Husband only has one good arm, suddenly loses the use of it. Yeah, that's pretty awful. Pretty [censored] awful.
We waited a while but she came. Unlike the morning, Ron felt well enough to get in the backseat. Happily we had a straight trip home.
He struggled to get some vodka in the house but managed on his own. I had a protein shake and took my pills. I should have brought the pills with me when I left the house this morning, I really need to stay on top of my antidepressants at this point.
The cats apparently caught a sparrow in the cat cage this morning and left the head by my computer chair. I didn't find that until a half hour ago. That is actually a high honor for them to leave me the head. My cats have always preferentially eaten the head, first. It's a delicacy to them and apparently today I rated.
Once I had my pills down, I laid down for a nap. Torbie came running when I turned on my noisemaker. She got on me for petting and purring. We had a good time. She fell trying to get on the bed from the "other" side, not the side with the step I made. Then she went around and used the step. Needless to say I will put a step on each side. She eventually left and Biscuit showed up.
He's not much for petting and cuddles, he's more a "flop on your feet and pass out" cat. Which is what he did. I had a pretty good, short, nap but I woke up with the start of a headache. I drank a Diet Dr Pepper and that helped.
Now I need to review my exercises and do my warmup on my exercise bike. Then I will go out in the garage and do kettlebells for a while. It is good stress relief and it can only help to get stronger.
I have been wondering how I will tell my parents about Ron, they sent me a text "Don't call us, have friends visiting" so that can be put off for a while. My aunt had a huge family reunion today so I didn't want to put this on her.
It's been our little secret.
We went to the warehouse. They rode us around for a while first. One lady has internet but still going to Walmart, instead of getting delivery. I mentioned it and she had a bunch of excuses. The second one admitted she could ride the bus, but "didn't want to" (if you can ride the bus alone you don't get paratransit). She also had a huge folding cart, and literally 5 huge trash bags full of crap. It was a good thing Ron was riding in the back, she took up the entire whole back seat. The driver asked her why she was bringing so many personal posessions to the grocery store and more excuses. I think she had some sort of compulsive disorder. She reminded me of the homeless people with the bulging shopping cart. And she had a tantrum when she found out we were getting dropped first, until I told her sharply we had been riding for a while, and had an appointment time.
He couldn't count the money, I had to do it. I did the shopping, didn't buy much. Jack came and we went to work, we had an easy time unloading because I didn't get much.
Then I helped Ron stock. He could not unlock the vending machines. He could hold a bottle of soda, but put it in the row with great difficulty. It was heartwrenching to watch. Very depressing and not a little scary, too. I did what I could to help without emasculating him.
Ron went over and above to keep his negativity pointed away from me. He was very careful. I appreciated it and let him know. We got it all stocked and finished early. We went outside. He got hot so I put him in the shade and waited on the bench in the sun. I always figure sunlight is good for depression and it is impossible not to be at present.
Husband only has one good arm, suddenly loses the use of it. Yeah, that's pretty awful. Pretty [censored] awful.
We waited a while but she came. Unlike the morning, Ron felt well enough to get in the backseat. Happily we had a straight trip home.
He struggled to get some vodka in the house but managed on his own. I had a protein shake and took my pills. I should have brought the pills with me when I left the house this morning, I really need to stay on top of my antidepressants at this point.
The cats apparently caught a sparrow in the cat cage this morning and left the head by my computer chair. I didn't find that until a half hour ago. That is actually a high honor for them to leave me the head. My cats have always preferentially eaten the head, first. It's a delicacy to them and apparently today I rated.
Once I had my pills down, I laid down for a nap. Torbie came running when I turned on my noisemaker. She got on me for petting and purring. We had a good time. She fell trying to get on the bed from the "other" side, not the side with the step I made. Then she went around and used the step. Needless to say I will put a step on each side. She eventually left and Biscuit showed up.
He's not much for petting and cuddles, he's more a "flop on your feet and pass out" cat. Which is what he did. I had a pretty good, short, nap but I woke up with the start of a headache. I drank a Diet Dr Pepper and that helped.
Now I need to review my exercises and do my warmup on my exercise bike. Then I will go out in the garage and do kettlebells for a while. It is good stress relief and it can only help to get stronger.
I have been wondering how I will tell my parents about Ron, they sent me a text "Don't call us, have friends visiting" so that can be put off for a while. My aunt had a huge family reunion today so I didn't want to put this on her.
It's been our little secret.
Friday, April 26, 2019
Friday evening
Well, Ron flaked on bathtime. I did a lot today, though.
Cleaned out the bathroom, took a shower, set it up for Ron (will have to put it back tomorrow). Various housework, I need to mop the tile floor pretty soon.
I laid down for a nap but couldn't sleep. Got up and got dressed right as the yard guy showed up with his crew/family. I took them some Gatorades. He asked how Ron was doing, he got a look in Ron's window when he was working and Ron apparently looked bad. I said he was OK (nothing he could do, but I didn't say that) and went in the house. Ron was awake and wanted to pay him, but the guy wouldn't take the money. He is more stubborn than Ron in this regard. He is doing this to be kind and not to make money.
I remember one day the yard guy was working in our yard and one of the neighbors came over and said "Do my yard too". The guy looks at him and says "I only have subscription customers, and I'm full up". The homeowner just gaped and wandered off. It is nice to be able to say no if you are not interested.
So they left. The yard looks great. One less thing to worry about.
I cleaned the litter box and fed the cats a couple of times, on demand. Ron woke up and said he wasn't up for a bath. Well, I can't argue with that. It's not like I can forcibly throw him in there. I will try again tomorrow.
I watched some TV. Drank some milk before it goes out of code. Ron doesn't want dinner, either. [sigh] He's not going to get over this thing if he doesn't eat.
I was thinking to make some ravioli, but it is pretty warm, I don't want to boil water, and Ron won't want to run the A/C just for dinner. I have plenty of other things in the freezer.
I had plenty of protein today so no worries about that, whatever I eat ought to work. Ron did make our trips for tomorrow so we can get that handled.
Cleaned out the bathroom, took a shower, set it up for Ron (will have to put it back tomorrow). Various housework, I need to mop the tile floor pretty soon.
I laid down for a nap but couldn't sleep. Got up and got dressed right as the yard guy showed up with his crew/family. I took them some Gatorades. He asked how Ron was doing, he got a look in Ron's window when he was working and Ron apparently looked bad. I said he was OK (nothing he could do, but I didn't say that) and went in the house. Ron was awake and wanted to pay him, but the guy wouldn't take the money. He is more stubborn than Ron in this regard. He is doing this to be kind and not to make money.
I remember one day the yard guy was working in our yard and one of the neighbors came over and said "Do my yard too". The guy looks at him and says "I only have subscription customers, and I'm full up". The homeowner just gaped and wandered off. It is nice to be able to say no if you are not interested.
So they left. The yard looks great. One less thing to worry about.
I cleaned the litter box and fed the cats a couple of times, on demand. Ron woke up and said he wasn't up for a bath. Well, I can't argue with that. It's not like I can forcibly throw him in there. I will try again tomorrow.
I watched some TV. Drank some milk before it goes out of code. Ron doesn't want dinner, either. [sigh] He's not going to get over this thing if he doesn't eat.
I was thinking to make some ravioli, but it is pretty warm, I don't want to boil water, and Ron won't want to run the A/C just for dinner. I have plenty of other things in the freezer.
I had plenty of protein today so no worries about that, whatever I eat ought to work. Ron did make our trips for tomorrow so we can get that handled.
Friday morning
I slept in until around 8. Ron actually woke me up at one point to let me know Biscuit was begging. He was very concerned about Biscuit getting a late meal. I should have told him to look at Biscuit's belly. It's still pretty fat.
I got up and fed everyone. I changed out the water fountain and installed a fresh filter. A few minutes later I caught Torbie at it. They really love that fountain. I need to get another, and more filters.
I got on the computer for a while, put some Diet Dr Pepper in the fridge to chill, do my workout (not yet), and then take a shower and clean out the tub so Ron can get his bath, later. He turned off the heater the other day and said he was "freezing" today. I think I can get him in the tub if it's warm enough. It will be interesting. I am assuming he will need more help in the tub with the hand issue but I shouldn't have to wash his butt. :p He can get that, I'm sure.
That's all I really have planned for the day. I have a free pizza from my local place, I just have to redeem it and pay the delivery charge (a few dollars). I may eat that for dinner, or, if I'm adventurous, get the ravioli going.
We'll see. One thing I took away from my intermittent fasting experiment was the fact I work out better without food in me. I always get some protein after the fact, but I don't need it before.
Did I mention I was down a pound? Not really doing this for weight loss but good to see.
And I'd better get going on that workout.
I got up and fed everyone. I changed out the water fountain and installed a fresh filter. A few minutes later I caught Torbie at it. They really love that fountain. I need to get another, and more filters.
I got on the computer for a while, put some Diet Dr Pepper in the fridge to chill, do my workout (not yet), and then take a shower and clean out the tub so Ron can get his bath, later. He turned off the heater the other day and said he was "freezing" today. I think I can get him in the tub if it's warm enough. It will be interesting. I am assuming he will need more help in the tub with the hand issue but I shouldn't have to wash his butt. :p He can get that, I'm sure.
That's all I really have planned for the day. I have a free pizza from my local place, I just have to redeem it and pay the delivery charge (a few dollars). I may eat that for dinner, or, if I'm adventurous, get the ravioli going.
We'll see. One thing I took away from my intermittent fasting experiment was the fact I work out better without food in me. I always get some protein after the fact, but I don't need it before.
Did I mention I was down a pound? Not really doing this for weight loss but good to see.
And I'd better get going on that workout.
Thursday, April 25, 2019
Thursday
I had a hard night sleeping, worried about Ron. His left hand now looks like his right hand, and that's not good. He is preferentially using his "bad" right hand instead of his left hand now. I have to pick up the slack on that, I am OK with it, but WTH? He is consistent in saying he does not want a doctor.
I got up late and got ready, helped him (he didn't need much more than usual), got us ready for work. They sent a big van with a young female driver. Most of the drivers on the big vans are women, most of the drives on the cabs are men.
We got onboard, pretty uneventful. We passed work, so clearly not a straight trip. She went about an hour out of the way to pick up a woman in a wheelchair, in a suburb on the FAR outskirts of the city. Then she couldn't find the client because the house wasn't numbered (why do people do that?! Don't you want your packages and rides?). We got her loaded, now off to work.
We came from the "bad side" it is harder to see the driveway and you have to be able to turn immediately, from seemingly nowhere, to get into the facility. A lot of the big plants are like that from what I have seen.
I had noticed the driver had the very bad habit of waiting until she was AT the turnoff, exit, whatever, and then suddenly moving over from the middle lane, "hoping" someone would let her over. It was risky at least. The GPS would say "Take right exit in 1 mile" and she would be literally where the lanes divided AT the exit before moving over. That wouldn't work for getting us to work.
We got about a mile from the facility and I told her "You need to get over in the left lane". She ignored me and kept driving. 1/4 mile away I said "You really need to get over". She got a massive attitude, told me I know what I'm doing etc. Except this time they wouldn't let her over. There are big trucks on this street and she was no longer the biggest thing on the road, able to intimidate other drivers into "letting" her go. She slowed way down, cursing, trying to get over for the last quarter mile (and she could have very easily done so when I first told her a mile back). Totally un-necessary and could have gotten us hit.
We get to the drop off location and I take off my seatbelt, she unfastens the wheelchair (there are straps that secure it to the floor), shoves it at Ron, and walks to the back to put the tie-downs away. Ron is trying to get into the wheelchair. And no one is holding it. I jump up and grab the wheelchair, and Ron gets into it successfully. I am just letting go of the wheelchair when she comes up behind me. There is more than enough room to pass. She gets a major excuse me (nasty tone, so she wasn't being polite) attitude again and I made a big production of getting out of her way.
Eeesh. Usually they aren't this bad. If you are going around getting offended by every little thing you are going to be constantly pissed. Especially in this line of work. I was happy to get away from her.
We went into the facility. And Ron could do very little of his job. He couldn't unlock the vending machines, couldn't service the bottled vendor, and could only stock canned soda with great difficulty, if I had already unlocked the machine. I had to help him a lot more, and I helped him a fair amount to begin with. It's a good thing the boss said Ron just had to show up to work and I could do all the stocking.
One encouraging note, he said the stocking movements got easier the more he did them. He was also able to plug in his cell phone today, he couldn't yesterday at all.
I didn't offer any opinions. He told me his and I agreed with him. That had been my thought all alone. I don't know if he wants me to share it so I will wait and ask him when he wakes up.
It was alarming. But Ron realized he could count on me, that I was cheerfully providing assistance and even making lewd remarks to him. He grinned at that. I told him, out of all the things that could have been affected, memory, speech, reasoning, leg, I was glad it was the arm instead. If his leg went that would be catastrophic. He agreed.
I helped him with his work (like always) and then did my work. He hung out with me while I worked and we chatted, which I liked. I stocked well over 100 bags of potato chips, pretty repetitive. Nice to have the company.
He had cancelled the ride home when it was obvious work would take far longer than usual. When we finished he called Arturo and we went home. I had thought about going through a drive through but nothing really appealed.
We got home, I got Ron settled. I drank a large glass of milk and took my morning pills. Then I took a short walk.
Important note for the women: please vary your route if you go for walks/runs. Don't always go down to the corner, hang a left, etc. Predators get to know your routines and look for you. Vary the route. Vary the times and days. It is just smart to protect yourself. I know everyone likes a routine but this is one you don't want.
As it was, on my route I saw a very strange mexican guy with a handcart walking down the street and heckling his black neighbor. That doesn't even factor in that weird guy on my street, who, as I've said, has come up on my property 2x that I know about, trespassing, bothering my drivers and there are 2 SUV's in his driveway.
I also found the cat lady house. 3 cats were loafing outside. The ran when they saw me at first but they could smell my cats, and paused. I said hello. I really liked the black one. I love black cats. But, as Ron said when I got home, it would be apocalyptic if I brought another cat of any age into our home. Ron then imitated Torbie's "annoyed" meow which had me rolling with laughter.
So I had a good walk of about 15 minutes. I then turned off my phone (vital, I have found) got undressed, and laid down for a nap. I had a pretty good one but woke up with a headache again. I don't have any answers on this one - it is my last persistent headache, but I have found a cold caffeine drink will generally end, or greatly reduce it.
I got up and did that. Then paratransit came. It startled me. I woke Ron up and he said send it away. He was pretty annoyed because he had been sleeping very well. I got on the computer for a bit, it's been pretty quiet.
Baby Girl is lying on the other side of the exercise bike. She likes to hang out near, but not at, me. The other cats tend to lie behind my chair.
I plan to plan out some future workouts. Today and tomorrow I am off working out. Nothing serious, at any rate. I did take the walk (not fast, because of my foot) and do the stretchy band for my shoulder.
I might take another walk tomorrow (in a different direction) but no weights. I am training pretty heavy and rest days are really important.
I got up late and got ready, helped him (he didn't need much more than usual), got us ready for work. They sent a big van with a young female driver. Most of the drivers on the big vans are women, most of the drives on the cabs are men.
We got onboard, pretty uneventful. We passed work, so clearly not a straight trip. She went about an hour out of the way to pick up a woman in a wheelchair, in a suburb on the FAR outskirts of the city. Then she couldn't find the client because the house wasn't numbered (why do people do that?! Don't you want your packages and rides?). We got her loaded, now off to work.
We came from the "bad side" it is harder to see the driveway and you have to be able to turn immediately, from seemingly nowhere, to get into the facility. A lot of the big plants are like that from what I have seen.
I had noticed the driver had the very bad habit of waiting until she was AT the turnoff, exit, whatever, and then suddenly moving over from the middle lane, "hoping" someone would let her over. It was risky at least. The GPS would say "Take right exit in 1 mile" and she would be literally where the lanes divided AT the exit before moving over. That wouldn't work for getting us to work.
We got about a mile from the facility and I told her "You need to get over in the left lane". She ignored me and kept driving. 1/4 mile away I said "You really need to get over". She got a massive attitude, told me I know what I'm doing etc. Except this time they wouldn't let her over. There are big trucks on this street and she was no longer the biggest thing on the road, able to intimidate other drivers into "letting" her go. She slowed way down, cursing, trying to get over for the last quarter mile (and she could have very easily done so when I first told her a mile back). Totally un-necessary and could have gotten us hit.
We get to the drop off location and I take off my seatbelt, she unfastens the wheelchair (there are straps that secure it to the floor), shoves it at Ron, and walks to the back to put the tie-downs away. Ron is trying to get into the wheelchair. And no one is holding it. I jump up and grab the wheelchair, and Ron gets into it successfully. I am just letting go of the wheelchair when she comes up behind me. There is more than enough room to pass. She gets a major excuse me (nasty tone, so she wasn't being polite) attitude again and I made a big production of getting out of her way.
Eeesh. Usually they aren't this bad. If you are going around getting offended by every little thing you are going to be constantly pissed. Especially in this line of work. I was happy to get away from her.
We went into the facility. And Ron could do very little of his job. He couldn't unlock the vending machines, couldn't service the bottled vendor, and could only stock canned soda with great difficulty, if I had already unlocked the machine. I had to help him a lot more, and I helped him a fair amount to begin with. It's a good thing the boss said Ron just had to show up to work and I could do all the stocking.
One encouraging note, he said the stocking movements got easier the more he did them. He was also able to plug in his cell phone today, he couldn't yesterday at all.
I didn't offer any opinions. He told me his and I agreed with him. That had been my thought all alone. I don't know if he wants me to share it so I will wait and ask him when he wakes up.
It was alarming. But Ron realized he could count on me, that I was cheerfully providing assistance and even making lewd remarks to him. He grinned at that. I told him, out of all the things that could have been affected, memory, speech, reasoning, leg, I was glad it was the arm instead. If his leg went that would be catastrophic. He agreed.
I helped him with his work (like always) and then did my work. He hung out with me while I worked and we chatted, which I liked. I stocked well over 100 bags of potato chips, pretty repetitive. Nice to have the company.
He had cancelled the ride home when it was obvious work would take far longer than usual. When we finished he called Arturo and we went home. I had thought about going through a drive through but nothing really appealed.
We got home, I got Ron settled. I drank a large glass of milk and took my morning pills. Then I took a short walk.
Important note for the women: please vary your route if you go for walks/runs. Don't always go down to the corner, hang a left, etc. Predators get to know your routines and look for you. Vary the route. Vary the times and days. It is just smart to protect yourself. I know everyone likes a routine but this is one you don't want.
As it was, on my route I saw a very strange mexican guy with a handcart walking down the street and heckling his black neighbor. That doesn't even factor in that weird guy on my street, who, as I've said, has come up on my property 2x that I know about, trespassing, bothering my drivers and there are 2 SUV's in his driveway.
I also found the cat lady house. 3 cats were loafing outside. The ran when they saw me at first but they could smell my cats, and paused. I said hello. I really liked the black one. I love black cats. But, as Ron said when I got home, it would be apocalyptic if I brought another cat of any age into our home. Ron then imitated Torbie's "annoyed" meow which had me rolling with laughter.
So I had a good walk of about 15 minutes. I then turned off my phone (vital, I have found) got undressed, and laid down for a nap. I had a pretty good one but woke up with a headache again. I don't have any answers on this one - it is my last persistent headache, but I have found a cold caffeine drink will generally end, or greatly reduce it.
I got up and did that. Then paratransit came. It startled me. I woke Ron up and he said send it away. He was pretty annoyed because he had been sleeping very well. I got on the computer for a bit, it's been pretty quiet.
Baby Girl is lying on the other side of the exercise bike. She likes to hang out near, but not at, me. The other cats tend to lie behind my chair.
I plan to plan out some future workouts. Today and tomorrow I am off working out. Nothing serious, at any rate. I did take the walk (not fast, because of my foot) and do the stretchy band for my shoulder.
I might take another walk tomorrow (in a different direction) but no weights. I am training pretty heavy and rest days are really important.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
The last of the day, I hope
I took my shower, took a while washing my hair, it was pretty tangled even after brushing. So I conditioned it and more dead hair came out in my hands while I was applying the conditioner. I have plenty of hair, not worried about that, it's just tedious getting all the old hair out. I read somewhere we lose about 50 hairs a day. Not a problem when they are a couple inches long, a bigger issue when it's 2 feet or so.
Got done with the shower and watched some TV. Ron ate a snack in his bedroom, I could hear him. I ate a snack up front, not much but enough. When my hair had dried some, I took a nap.
Ron had been making a lot of noise so I asked him to please be quiet for my nap. He was relatively quiet. I laid down with Torbie and drifted a little but didn't really go under.
I finally got up, I had a headache. I drank a cold Diet Dr which helped. Ron asked a little about yesterday, he said his hand was acting funny. I said he had been passed out on the floor for most of the night and had fallen 2x that I knew about. That took him aback. I saw him working with his hand, it is messed up (not mangled, just not working right), but he doesn't want to see a doctor. That is his choice. Last I saw he was able to pay his own bills, etc. so he can make decisions about his medical care. I found it alarming, I hope he can still use a computer. Hopefully he just pinched something and that is all.
He went back to his room, looked pretty precarious after he stood up to get into bed. He stood there swaying. I encouraged him so sit before he fell again, he did. He made the trips for tomorrow so that's done. He actually seems to be in good spirits. He was able to go to the bathroom by himself so this shouldn't affect me much.
Oh, that would be awful. I am just worn out but I think I acted appropriately today.
I will continue to monitor his hand and make sure he is not getting worse, but I think he would let me know if he was. Now I need to get some dinner and take my pills.
I have to go to bed early tonight, Ron set up an early pickup for tomorrow.
Got done with the shower and watched some TV. Ron ate a snack in his bedroom, I could hear him. I ate a snack up front, not much but enough. When my hair had dried some, I took a nap.
Ron had been making a lot of noise so I asked him to please be quiet for my nap. He was relatively quiet. I laid down with Torbie and drifted a little but didn't really go under.
I finally got up, I had a headache. I drank a cold Diet Dr which helped. Ron asked a little about yesterday, he said his hand was acting funny. I said he had been passed out on the floor for most of the night and had fallen 2x that I knew about. That took him aback. I saw him working with his hand, it is messed up (not mangled, just not working right), but he doesn't want to see a doctor. That is his choice. Last I saw he was able to pay his own bills, etc. so he can make decisions about his medical care. I found it alarming, I hope he can still use a computer. Hopefully he just pinched something and that is all.
He went back to his room, looked pretty precarious after he stood up to get into bed. He stood there swaying. I encouraged him so sit before he fell again, he did. He made the trips for tomorrow so that's done. He actually seems to be in good spirits. He was able to go to the bathroom by himself so this shouldn't affect me much.
Oh, that would be awful. I am just worn out but I think I acted appropriately today.
I will continue to monitor his hand and make sure he is not getting worse, but I think he would let me know if he was. Now I need to get some dinner and take my pills.
I have to go to bed early tonight, Ron set up an early pickup for tomorrow.
Update the update
Time to update the update. So Ron's on the floor of the kitchen, fallen for the second time. He was pretty incoherent so he wouldn't have been able to help me get him in the wheelchair.
I said f*ck it and got into my workout clothes, then I went for a walk, put up the trash can, and did my weights in the garage. It was a good, sweaty, workout. Ron made some noise through the door to the garage at one point, he heard me and thought I was a burglar.
I did all my squats, deadlifts, etc. I logged off my fitness tracker and came in the house. Ron had apparently been trying to get back in the wheelchair for a while and was ready for help. It took a couple minutes, but I squatted down behind him (like I did before), helped boost him up, and shoved him in the wheelchair. Then I fastened the seatbelt and took him back to bed. VERY ugly getting into bed but he's there now.
That's one reason I've been working out, so I can do that. Then I sat down for a minute with a protein shake. Biscuit came along and got in my lap, I loved on him for a while, gave him 2 of his special treats, and then gave him some of his food when he asked. Baby Girl wasn't interested in food.
Torbie is asleep in my bed, she sleeps a lot these days unless someone brings home a lizard. That's fine, she's an old lady, and very cuddly.
If I lose one of my 3 I would not rush out to replace them, because I would want an older cat and it is harder for them to get-along than if I brought in a kitten or two. But I could see a point where I went to the shelter and got an older black cat. Old cats, and black cats, have terrible adoption rates.
I posted my updates (keeping this latest off of Facebook) and about to take my shower. I will have a good one, have to wash my hair since I worked out, but that's not too difficult.
Ron is quiet for now. When I told him I cancelled the chicken place he agreed I did the right thing, and I think managed to call and get the penalty taken off. That's between him and them.
It was raining a little during my walk. I found out #10, is the weird guy who kept coming on my property and bothering my drivers. I won't walk on his side of the street. I also heard a large dog barking, not sure if it is confined but a renter like him has no assets and a dog bite would be very bad for me. And Ron, for that matter.
It is supposed to rain later so we'll see. I have plenty of food in the fridge so not worried about that. I just hope the rest of the day is boring.
I said f*ck it and got into my workout clothes, then I went for a walk, put up the trash can, and did my weights in the garage. It was a good, sweaty, workout. Ron made some noise through the door to the garage at one point, he heard me and thought I was a burglar.
I did all my squats, deadlifts, etc. I logged off my fitness tracker and came in the house. Ron had apparently been trying to get back in the wheelchair for a while and was ready for help. It took a couple minutes, but I squatted down behind him (like I did before), helped boost him up, and shoved him in the wheelchair. Then I fastened the seatbelt and took him back to bed. VERY ugly getting into bed but he's there now.
That's one reason I've been working out, so I can do that. Then I sat down for a minute with a protein shake. Biscuit came along and got in my lap, I loved on him for a while, gave him 2 of his special treats, and then gave him some of his food when he asked. Baby Girl wasn't interested in food.
Torbie is asleep in my bed, she sleeps a lot these days unless someone brings home a lizard. That's fine, she's an old lady, and very cuddly.
If I lose one of my 3 I would not rush out to replace them, because I would want an older cat and it is harder for them to get-along than if I brought in a kitten or two. But I could see a point where I went to the shelter and got an older black cat. Old cats, and black cats, have terrible adoption rates.
I posted my updates (keeping this latest off of Facebook) and about to take my shower. I will have a good one, have to wash my hair since I worked out, but that's not too difficult.
Ron is quiet for now. When I told him I cancelled the chicken place he agreed I did the right thing, and I think managed to call and get the penalty taken off. That's between him and them.
It was raining a little during my walk. I found out #10, is the weird guy who kept coming on my property and bothering my drivers. I won't walk on his side of the street. I also heard a large dog barking, not sure if it is confined but a renter like him has no assets and a dog bite would be very bad for me. And Ron, for that matter.
It is supposed to rain later so we'll see. I have plenty of food in the fridge so not worried about that. I just hope the rest of the day is boring.
Update
Ron woke up again, asked me nicely for help getting in the wheelchair. It took him about 5 minutes, with assistance, to get reseated.
I took him to his room. He kept asking where he woke up, I kept telling him. .Towards the end I got frustrated and said I was done telling him, it should be enough that he woke up in an unfamiliar place because he drank too much.
First thing he did when I left; make a beeline to the fridge for more vodka. I told him next time he falls out of his wheelchair I will not help him into it. We had another argument, I told him it was foolish to go get drunk again. He said if I didn't like it I could leave, but he was my "meal ticket" so I wouldn't. I didn't argue with him (that's what he wants, he kept trying to bait me so I would go off and then he'd have an "excuse" to drink.) But I did say he was better than this and I knew it. However, like that episode of Criminal Minds said, sometimes being nice to an addict just doesn't cut it. Sometimes you have to go off on them to make a point.
I went in the computer room for a while. High blood pressure was a factor in killing my mother so I try to be mindful.
Ron asked if I had seen anything on the internet. I talked to him a little and carefully brought up the subject of portion control "You went from a little cup, to a big one". I found him a portion cup and gave it to him. He said he liked the big cup because he could put ice in it. I told him he could measure in the small cup and then pour it over the ice in the big cup. He didn't like that much.
He says he "wants to sleep" today. I told him he was up all night, he will sleep. He said he was still drinking.
I used the word "alcoholic' and walked off. He is still so drunk he is fumbling bottles of water and such. The last thing he needs is more alcohol.
I told him I will be taking a walk and he will be on his own. I reminded him he kept me up all night, shouting for me every 10 minutes. After the walk I will be doing weights and I am not stopping that just because he got drunker and "needs" something.
It took me forever to clean up the mess he made by the front door, he apparently went through all the clothes and threw them on the floor, knocked the bear (heavy and difficult to move) over, etc. I am getting rid of the wooden chair, I will put it by the curb (garbage just came) when I put up the trash. Now he is cursing in the kitchen trying to open something.
Ugh. I wish he would go to sleep.
I took him to his room. He kept asking where he woke up, I kept telling him. .Towards the end I got frustrated and said I was done telling him, it should be enough that he woke up in an unfamiliar place because he drank too much.
First thing he did when I left; make a beeline to the fridge for more vodka. I told him next time he falls out of his wheelchair I will not help him into it. We had another argument, I told him it was foolish to go get drunk again. He said if I didn't like it I could leave, but he was my "meal ticket" so I wouldn't. I didn't argue with him (that's what he wants, he kept trying to bait me so I would go off and then he'd have an "excuse" to drink.) But I did say he was better than this and I knew it. However, like that episode of Criminal Minds said, sometimes being nice to an addict just doesn't cut it. Sometimes you have to go off on them to make a point.
I went in the computer room for a while. High blood pressure was a factor in killing my mother so I try to be mindful.
Ron asked if I had seen anything on the internet. I talked to him a little and carefully brought up the subject of portion control "You went from a little cup, to a big one". I found him a portion cup and gave it to him. He said he liked the big cup because he could put ice in it. I told him he could measure in the small cup and then pour it over the ice in the big cup. He didn't like that much.
He says he "wants to sleep" today. I told him he was up all night, he will sleep. He said he was still drinking.
I used the word "alcoholic' and walked off. He is still so drunk he is fumbling bottles of water and such. The last thing he needs is more alcohol.
I told him I will be taking a walk and he will be on his own. I reminded him he kept me up all night, shouting for me every 10 minutes. After the walk I will be doing weights and I am not stopping that just because he got drunker and "needs" something.
It took me forever to clean up the mess he made by the front door, he apparently went through all the clothes and threw them on the floor, knocked the bear (heavy and difficult to move) over, etc. I am getting rid of the wooden chair, I will put it by the curb (garbage just came) when I put up the trash. Now he is cursing in the kitchen trying to open something.
Ugh. I wish he would go to sleep.
Worst common denominator
It's been a bad night when I'm up at 8 AM blasting Linkin Park as Ron sleeps on a pile of donation clothes by the front door. Oh, I hope he didn't pee on them.
It all started a few weeks back with our friend (who drinks) telling Ron he "had" to try flavored vodka, it was "so much better than the plain stuff". That is fine if Ron could hold his liquor. You might think I'd be mad at the guy but I'm not, he was just sharing what he felt was a good idea.
So Ron eventually called Specs (I made it clear I would not walk around and tell him all the flavors), they told him some of the flavors. He picked two, strawberry and watermelon.
And he did really well for about a week. But yesterday he just wanted to be saturated all day and apparently drank more on top of that after I went to bed. Cue drunken demands for several hours all night, shouting for me, stupid stuff.
One example: didn't know words for anything. Kept asking me to move the phone. He meant fridge. I did not move the fridge, where would I put it? Our kitchen is tiny.
At one point he wanted his phone. He kept shouting for it. I said I wasn't going to let him drunk dial people we knew. He said he had made some trips on paratransit "To keep them in the list" . He was very alarmed he might not be able to cancel and would get penalty marks for missed trips. So I brought him his phone. God only knows where it is now.
He was just delusional and obnoxious. He didn't know where he was or how he got there. He was angry, loud, belligerent, and kept bothering me. I kept telling him "It's 1 (2) (3) in the morning please leave me alone and let me sleep." He kept shouting for me. I blew up at him and said if he didn't shut up, I would wake HIM up every 10 minutes tomorrow. That seemed to put a cork in it, mostly, and I went to sleep.
I didn't sleep in, felt I slept late, and got up around 8. I couldn't find Ron for a while. He wasn't in his bed and and he wasn't in the kitchen. I finally found him in the front room in a pile of to-be-donated clothes. It looks more comfortable than the last time I saw him last night.
I don't see his phone anywhere. I hope he didn't lose it. If he just went from kitchen to front door I should be able to find it. I played some Linkin Park, loud, for me.
Ron woke up and started yelling for me. I read him the riot act and told him if I had a whistle I'd be blowing it in his damned ear every 10 minutes. I told him his vodka tasted "too good" and he had no portion control. I told him he couldn't hold his liquor. He just pours 8 ounces in a big cup and drinks that with ice. No wonder he is blacking out. He told me to "go back to sleep". That really ticked me off, I'm not a switch, I don't go on and off like that. When I'm up, I'm up, and I have discovered I am up at 7-8 every day even if I've been kept up all night.
He is still lying on the floor, blocking the doorway. I am not sure when he's getting up but I know he can't stay there forever. A workout is out of the picture, he would probably start bellowing for me in the middle of a squat.
[sigh] No wonder I am cranky, can't workout, didn't get enough sleep. Ron had made a trip to go to the chicken place, departure in an hour. I cancelled it. He is in no shape to go anywhere, not to mention half naked. He will just have to live without his chicken for the day. I'm sure not going with him. He got a penalty late mark but at least the driver didn't burn their gas coming here and then I say "no thanks". I can't even get out the front door to say so.
Ugh. I feel like he's a huge weight on my leg, hobbling me. That's a really awful thing to feel about a spouse. And he can be a good guy at times, but there is nothing good about Ron during a blackout. It is his worst common denominator.
It all started a few weeks back with our friend (who drinks) telling Ron he "had" to try flavored vodka, it was "so much better than the plain stuff". That is fine if Ron could hold his liquor. You might think I'd be mad at the guy but I'm not, he was just sharing what he felt was a good idea.
So Ron eventually called Specs (I made it clear I would not walk around and tell him all the flavors), they told him some of the flavors. He picked two, strawberry and watermelon.
And he did really well for about a week. But yesterday he just wanted to be saturated all day and apparently drank more on top of that after I went to bed. Cue drunken demands for several hours all night, shouting for me, stupid stuff.
One example: didn't know words for anything. Kept asking me to move the phone. He meant fridge. I did not move the fridge, where would I put it? Our kitchen is tiny.
At one point he wanted his phone. He kept shouting for it. I said I wasn't going to let him drunk dial people we knew. He said he had made some trips on paratransit "To keep them in the list" . He was very alarmed he might not be able to cancel and would get penalty marks for missed trips. So I brought him his phone. God only knows where it is now.
He was just delusional and obnoxious. He didn't know where he was or how he got there. He was angry, loud, belligerent, and kept bothering me. I kept telling him "It's 1 (2) (3) in the morning please leave me alone and let me sleep." He kept shouting for me. I blew up at him and said if he didn't shut up, I would wake HIM up every 10 minutes tomorrow. That seemed to put a cork in it, mostly, and I went to sleep.
I didn't sleep in, felt I slept late, and got up around 8. I couldn't find Ron for a while. He wasn't in his bed and and he wasn't in the kitchen. I finally found him in the front room in a pile of to-be-donated clothes. It looks more comfortable than the last time I saw him last night.
I don't see his phone anywhere. I hope he didn't lose it. If he just went from kitchen to front door I should be able to find it. I played some Linkin Park, loud, for me.
Ron woke up and started yelling for me. I read him the riot act and told him if I had a whistle I'd be blowing it in his damned ear every 10 minutes. I told him his vodka tasted "too good" and he had no portion control. I told him he couldn't hold his liquor. He just pours 8 ounces in a big cup and drinks that with ice. No wonder he is blacking out. He told me to "go back to sleep". That really ticked me off, I'm not a switch, I don't go on and off like that. When I'm up, I'm up, and I have discovered I am up at 7-8 every day even if I've been kept up all night.
He is still lying on the floor, blocking the doorway. I am not sure when he's getting up but I know he can't stay there forever. A workout is out of the picture, he would probably start bellowing for me in the middle of a squat.
[sigh] No wonder I am cranky, can't workout, didn't get enough sleep. Ron had made a trip to go to the chicken place, departure in an hour. I cancelled it. He is in no shape to go anywhere, not to mention half naked. He will just have to live without his chicken for the day. I'm sure not going with him. He got a penalty late mark but at least the driver didn't burn their gas coming here and then I say "no thanks". I can't even get out the front door to say so.
Ugh. I feel like he's a huge weight on my leg, hobbling me. That's a really awful thing to feel about a spouse. And he can be a good guy at times, but there is nothing good about Ron during a blackout. It is his worst common denominator.
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
Tuesday
Last night I logged onto the grocery website and started picking food. I kept looking at pizza and realized I was hungry, and craving it. After I finished my order, I looked around at pizza delivery options. Normally I go with one store not far from the house. I checked out the other store and was not impressed with their options, went back to my usual.
Ron didn't want anything. I ordered cheesy bread and pepperoni pizza, It was good, I have plenty of leftovers and dinner for tonight.
I did, in a moment of weakness, order some pasta. It looks to be a big hassle to cook but I will give it a chance.
I slept pretty well. I went to bed very early and slept pretty well. I got up around 7:30 this morning. I had scheduled my delivery for 11-12 so I could sleep late but I didn't need to.
I got dressed in my workout clothes and did half an hour, intervals, on the bike. It was a good workout, I dialed it up a notch and really challenged myself. I had a good time but I was glad when I finished. I staggered off to the shower (I always do a cool-down) and washed my hair, which had gotten very sweaty.
Ron likes me with long hair but long hair and working out? How was that going to work? It has worked out pretty well, I just wash my hair every day I do a serious workout. Before I washed my hair every other day. But it still handles well and looks good, so Ron gets to keep "his" long hair and I can keep working out.
Besides, I hate always having to go and get my hair cut every month or so. Long is much easier, I don't remember the last time I had my hair cut but it's been years.
After my shower I got dressed in my regular clothes. I am drawing a blank on what I did this morning, clearly it wasn't memorable. I know I had pr- Oh, duh. I got the delivery and put it away.
Walmart said Sylvia was coming. This was a man, not Sylvia, but he had my cat litter and was nice about putting it in the garage. The rest of it wasn't much except for the ravioli I have to cook and 2 gallons of milk.
Now that I've finally recovered from that food poisoning in 2004, I love drinking milk and drink a lot of it. So I will go through a couple of gallons in no time. I also got a nice-looking bag of greens.
Once I got all that put up I watched Criminal Minds for a while and then took a nap. I didn't sleep very well and the doorbell rang. Ron started screaming about the treats.
Ron has been feeding the girls their standard treat, but felt bad about Biscuit not getting any. I found some special treats by Royal Canin (they make his dry food) that are compatible with his diet. The vet said they were OK, but demand is so low they can't stock them. When I mentioned using Chewy they agreed. Chewy contacted them to make sure Biscuit could get these treats, they said yes, and they shipped yesterday.
No secret I live in Houston, very close to their distribution center. So I got it today.
I sat in Ron's bed (his main goal was drinking as much as possible and staying flat in bed) and we called Biscuit. He came. We gave him a few treats, he liked them. Good. Now Ron can give Biscuit something wholesome.
I would rather not feed treats at all but Ron doesn't have much interaction with the cats otherwise. Biscuit will be fine, they are approved by the vet.
I tried to go back to bed, not happening, and a nasty headache. I got up, Ron was very festive drinking stawberry vodka in the kitchen. I called my aunt to say hi. We talked for a while with Ron interrupting and just basically being a drunken ass, then he fell asleep and the conversation went easier. We talked for over an hour.
I know she has my back. That is a good thing to know.
I hung up and went out in the garage, cleaning and organizing. I did a pretty good job cleaning, tossing, moving, and rearranging. I had a folding patio chair, Ron used to use it at work for his back. No room in the stockroom now and he has a pain killer, so not needed for that purpose. I didn't have anything on the porch so I put it there. I put some tools in the backyard. I moved some things around to make more room.
I had a very annoying, narrow, passageway between the garbage can and some stored vending parts. It was so narrow sometimes I caught myself on the cord hanging down from the garage door and accidentally unplugging it. I managed to widen that area. My aunt is right, I will need to get some shelving, but it's looking better. I put some junk (a thousand pack of those "walmart" plastic bags) out by the curb for the junk men to pick up. I am tempted to put my ab ball out there but worried #6 will pick it up and slam it against my bedroom wall, again and again, during one of their parties.
Then I took the bulging can out, that was fun getting it started. It wasn't too heavy, though.
I came back inside, started on my blog. After I finish this I will eat some dinner, take my pills, eventually check the mail.
Ron didn't want to do anything and a chance of rain, not a huge amount of cash in my pocket, so I will probably stay home. I just need to plan tomorrow's workout - a little cardio (I have already hit my goal for the week) and some isolation exercises for weights. It should be easier to do the deadlifts and squats now that I have more space.
God knows I have plenty to eat so I don't need to worry about that. I will just remember not to buy ravioli again, it takes a fair amount of cooking.
Ron didn't want anything. I ordered cheesy bread and pepperoni pizza, It was good, I have plenty of leftovers and dinner for tonight.
I did, in a moment of weakness, order some pasta. It looks to be a big hassle to cook but I will give it a chance.
I slept pretty well. I went to bed very early and slept pretty well. I got up around 7:30 this morning. I had scheduled my delivery for 11-12 so I could sleep late but I didn't need to.
I got dressed in my workout clothes and did half an hour, intervals, on the bike. It was a good workout, I dialed it up a notch and really challenged myself. I had a good time but I was glad when I finished. I staggered off to the shower (I always do a cool-down) and washed my hair, which had gotten very sweaty.
Ron likes me with long hair but long hair and working out? How was that going to work? It has worked out pretty well, I just wash my hair every day I do a serious workout. Before I washed my hair every other day. But it still handles well and looks good, so Ron gets to keep "his" long hair and I can keep working out.
Besides, I hate always having to go and get my hair cut every month or so. Long is much easier, I don't remember the last time I had my hair cut but it's been years.
After my shower I got dressed in my regular clothes. I am drawing a blank on what I did this morning, clearly it wasn't memorable. I know I had pr- Oh, duh. I got the delivery and put it away.
Walmart said Sylvia was coming. This was a man, not Sylvia, but he had my cat litter and was nice about putting it in the garage. The rest of it wasn't much except for the ravioli I have to cook and 2 gallons of milk.
Now that I've finally recovered from that food poisoning in 2004, I love drinking milk and drink a lot of it. So I will go through a couple of gallons in no time. I also got a nice-looking bag of greens.
Once I got all that put up I watched Criminal Minds for a while and then took a nap. I didn't sleep very well and the doorbell rang. Ron started screaming about the treats.
Ron has been feeding the girls their standard treat, but felt bad about Biscuit not getting any. I found some special treats by Royal Canin (they make his dry food) that are compatible with his diet. The vet said they were OK, but demand is so low they can't stock them. When I mentioned using Chewy they agreed. Chewy contacted them to make sure Biscuit could get these treats, they said yes, and they shipped yesterday.
No secret I live in Houston, very close to their distribution center. So I got it today.
I sat in Ron's bed (his main goal was drinking as much as possible and staying flat in bed) and we called Biscuit. He came. We gave him a few treats, he liked them. Good. Now Ron can give Biscuit something wholesome.
I would rather not feed treats at all but Ron doesn't have much interaction with the cats otherwise. Biscuit will be fine, they are approved by the vet.
I tried to go back to bed, not happening, and a nasty headache. I got up, Ron was very festive drinking stawberry vodka in the kitchen. I called my aunt to say hi. We talked for a while with Ron interrupting and just basically being a drunken ass, then he fell asleep and the conversation went easier. We talked for over an hour.
I know she has my back. That is a good thing to know.
I hung up and went out in the garage, cleaning and organizing. I did a pretty good job cleaning, tossing, moving, and rearranging. I had a folding patio chair, Ron used to use it at work for his back. No room in the stockroom now and he has a pain killer, so not needed for that purpose. I didn't have anything on the porch so I put it there. I put some tools in the backyard. I moved some things around to make more room.
I had a very annoying, narrow, passageway between the garbage can and some stored vending parts. It was so narrow sometimes I caught myself on the cord hanging down from the garage door and accidentally unplugging it. I managed to widen that area. My aunt is right, I will need to get some shelving, but it's looking better. I put some junk (a thousand pack of those "walmart" plastic bags) out by the curb for the junk men to pick up. I am tempted to put my ab ball out there but worried #6 will pick it up and slam it against my bedroom wall, again and again, during one of their parties.
Then I took the bulging can out, that was fun getting it started. It wasn't too heavy, though.
I came back inside, started on my blog. After I finish this I will eat some dinner, take my pills, eventually check the mail.
Ron didn't want to do anything and a chance of rain, not a huge amount of cash in my pocket, so I will probably stay home. I just need to plan tomorrow's workout - a little cardio (I have already hit my goal for the week) and some isolation exercises for weights. It should be easier to do the deadlifts and squats now that I have more space.
God knows I have plenty to eat so I don't need to worry about that. I will just remember not to buy ravioli again, it takes a fair amount of cooking.
Monday, April 22, 2019
Monday
Occasionally the family next door, in #6 go out all day on the weekend, and get home late. They did yesterday, and got home late (after 9) last night. They let the dog out,which yapped happily for about 20 minutes, running around the yard, as I cursed them out and tried to get to sleep. Eventually they rounded her up (she has some sort of - "Ina" name, so I know a female) and put her back in the house.
After that I was able to sleep, but I had to get up at 4. You can do the math there, 10-4 is not a full night of sleep. I got up, got ready, helped Ron, fed the cats, etc. Once we got all that done we went to work.
We had to stock, get the sandwich delivery, and meet a repairman. We managed to get all that done early, so Ron cancelled our (much later) pickup and called a cab to go home. It was pretty funny and political.
I always avoid politics in the cab. But he was playing talk radio and they kept going on about those evil Russians getting in our business. I found that funny because the driver is from Russia. I was teasing him about it.
We got home and I got Ron unloaded. I felt pretty good so I decided to take a short walk. I took off my boots (steel toes are a necessity at work with Ron) and put on some sneakers. I took a short walk. I could tell my foot wasn't happy but it wasn't yelling. It is just going to take longer than I am accustomed for the recovery. I did about 8 minutes one way, and came back. My tracker said I was very slow but that's OK.
I'm not limping home wanting to cry like I did a couple weeks ago. I made it home, Ron was in bed. I took a nap with Torbie. She got in bed with me, purring and petting. Great. Then she started putting her razors in my face. I pushed her away and said "NO". I don't like claws in my face and she needs to learn that. She may be old but she is teachable. We were having a lot of fun up until that point.
I had a pretty decent nap. I could tell when #6 came home from her errands, yap yap yap. But it didn't last long. At least they appear to be keeping it in the house this time.
I got all the "move minutes" on my fitness tracker but need some more cardio points. I will probably do some ab work on the floor in a little bit to finish that off. I can tell I worked out yesterday but it is not bad.
My mood is a little rough, depressed mainly. Things seem overwhelming, but that is just due to sleep deprivation. When our ride came at 6 this morning we were NOT quiet so #6 got a taste of what it's like to have someone f*ck with your sleep cycle. That is a consistent thing with them, always waking me up and refusing to let me sleep, screaming kids out in the yard 11PM at night or the husband making noise with his contractor buddies at 6 AM on my day off.
But it will get better. I woke up with a headache (from my nap) but had a glass of iced tea and that helped.
Later on I will make my grocery order. I am almost out of milk.
After that I was able to sleep, but I had to get up at 4. You can do the math there, 10-4 is not a full night of sleep. I got up, got ready, helped Ron, fed the cats, etc. Once we got all that done we went to work.
We had to stock, get the sandwich delivery, and meet a repairman. We managed to get all that done early, so Ron cancelled our (much later) pickup and called a cab to go home. It was pretty funny and political.
I always avoid politics in the cab. But he was playing talk radio and they kept going on about those evil Russians getting in our business. I found that funny because the driver is from Russia. I was teasing him about it.
We got home and I got Ron unloaded. I felt pretty good so I decided to take a short walk. I took off my boots (steel toes are a necessity at work with Ron) and put on some sneakers. I took a short walk. I could tell my foot wasn't happy but it wasn't yelling. It is just going to take longer than I am accustomed for the recovery. I did about 8 minutes one way, and came back. My tracker said I was very slow but that's OK.
I'm not limping home wanting to cry like I did a couple weeks ago. I made it home, Ron was in bed. I took a nap with Torbie. She got in bed with me, purring and petting. Great. Then she started putting her razors in my face. I pushed her away and said "NO". I don't like claws in my face and she needs to learn that. She may be old but she is teachable. We were having a lot of fun up until that point.
I had a pretty decent nap. I could tell when #6 came home from her errands, yap yap yap. But it didn't last long. At least they appear to be keeping it in the house this time.
I got all the "move minutes" on my fitness tracker but need some more cardio points. I will probably do some ab work on the floor in a little bit to finish that off. I can tell I worked out yesterday but it is not bad.
My mood is a little rough, depressed mainly. Things seem overwhelming, but that is just due to sleep deprivation. When our ride came at 6 this morning we were NOT quiet so #6 got a taste of what it's like to have someone f*ck with your sleep cycle. That is a consistent thing with them, always waking me up and refusing to let me sleep, screaming kids out in the yard 11PM at night or the husband making noise with his contractor buddies at 6 AM on my day off.
But it will get better. I woke up with a headache (from my nap) but had a glass of iced tea and that helped.
Later on I will make my grocery order. I am almost out of milk.
Sunday, April 21, 2019
The rest of Sunday
I had a pretty good nap, woke up to screaming kids (not #6 for a change). I think it was #2. They are renting. They are more loud and ignorant. They like to stand in the driveway and scream conversation at each other, loud and ignorant for everyone to hear. They have been pretty rude to me as well. Anyway, they stayed on their side of the fence.
One of the visitors parked in front of my house, but, as I told Ron, did not block the driveway. Anyone in or blocking the driveway gets towed. They stood in front of our house shouting ignorant conversation at the renter standing in their driveway for a while. I wanted to yell "SHUT UP. No one in my house has EVER disturbed your peace and quiet in your house, PLEASE return the favor." It's the kind of thing that doesn't make me feel bad when our ride makes noise very early in the morning.
They eventually stopped.
I did some housework, did a load of laundry. My cute new T-shirt will be ready to wear tomorrow. I got Ron a matching one, I thought that would be fun if we matched. Normally I don't do that as I favor black, and bright colors. Ron hates black and the bright colors don't have a shirt pocket. That's a deal killer for Ron, he made me get rid of all the shirts without a pocket. I have another half hour on the dryer.
Ron woke up and went in the kitchen for vodka. We talked and decided to get rid of one of the water bowls, the cats don't use it and I keep kicking it. So I tossed that. I also threw away a heavy glass vodka bottle. It's just a bad idea to have that around.
Once Ron got a little saturated he said he should call his sister. I asked him not to. He did not want to talk to her because he was lonely or missing her, but drunk enough to want to stir the pot and get her upset, ruin her holiday basically. I said I was happy without them (both siblings) in our lives and really did not want them back.
I also reminded him they were horrible to me after the accident. I finished by asking nicely, please don't call her. He said he always forgot they had been bad to me, he just woke up and they were pretty much out of the picture. I said a lot happened before that.
I reminded him I only ever asked his sister for one thing: a ride home from the hospital. Our place was not far from hers, it would have been maybe 15 minutes more driving for her. And she said no. When we were doing discharge planning I told them all I would need is a "sitter" for Ron for an hour, and a ride to Walmart once a week. That is all I wanted. And they said no to that. They wanted to put Ron in a nursing home and all their plans were geared toward making that happen.
They wanted what was easy, I wanted what was right. And I still stand by my choice.
So he decided he would not give her a call. Thank God. We talked for a little while. He was in a pleasant mood which is a load off for me. But you should have seen him try to get back into bed - VERY ugly. But he's there now.
I offered to fix him something to eat, chicken nuggets or something, but he said no. He has some TV dinners if he changes his mind, and the microwave is on the counter so he can access it.
I am just waiting for my clothes to finish, thinking about my own dinner. I had a chicken parmesan earlier, it was pretty good. I was happy to see the vegetable section was very heavy on carrots and minimal broccoli. It was pretty good and decent protein.
Since I am working out, I am focused on having a good protein intake so I can recover and repair. I have had about 60 grams so far. I will have a protein shake before I eat some ice cream, I think. :) Balance in everything.
My abs, shoulders, back, butt, and legs all feel nicely worked. I am happy with this workout but I still need to plan out a routine for the week. I need to make sure I am challenging myself, but not overworking anything, always vigilant to the fact I may need to grab Ron and keep him from falling, or pick up something heavy at work. I will probably do that next, then protein, ice cream, and laundry.
And I'd better go do it. I have to get up at 4 AM tomorrow, but we'll be done early.
One of the visitors parked in front of my house, but, as I told Ron, did not block the driveway. Anyone in or blocking the driveway gets towed. They stood in front of our house shouting ignorant conversation at the renter standing in their driveway for a while. I wanted to yell "SHUT UP. No one in my house has EVER disturbed your peace and quiet in your house, PLEASE return the favor." It's the kind of thing that doesn't make me feel bad when our ride makes noise very early in the morning.
They eventually stopped.
I did some housework, did a load of laundry. My cute new T-shirt will be ready to wear tomorrow. I got Ron a matching one, I thought that would be fun if we matched. Normally I don't do that as I favor black, and bright colors. Ron hates black and the bright colors don't have a shirt pocket. That's a deal killer for Ron, he made me get rid of all the shirts without a pocket. I have another half hour on the dryer.
Ron woke up and went in the kitchen for vodka. We talked and decided to get rid of one of the water bowls, the cats don't use it and I keep kicking it. So I tossed that. I also threw away a heavy glass vodka bottle. It's just a bad idea to have that around.
Once Ron got a little saturated he said he should call his sister. I asked him not to. He did not want to talk to her because he was lonely or missing her, but drunk enough to want to stir the pot and get her upset, ruin her holiday basically. I said I was happy without them (both siblings) in our lives and really did not want them back.
I also reminded him they were horrible to me after the accident. I finished by asking nicely, please don't call her. He said he always forgot they had been bad to me, he just woke up and they were pretty much out of the picture. I said a lot happened before that.
I reminded him I only ever asked his sister for one thing: a ride home from the hospital. Our place was not far from hers, it would have been maybe 15 minutes more driving for her. And she said no. When we were doing discharge planning I told them all I would need is a "sitter" for Ron for an hour, and a ride to Walmart once a week. That is all I wanted. And they said no to that. They wanted to put Ron in a nursing home and all their plans were geared toward making that happen.
They wanted what was easy, I wanted what was right. And I still stand by my choice.
So he decided he would not give her a call. Thank God. We talked for a little while. He was in a pleasant mood which is a load off for me. But you should have seen him try to get back into bed - VERY ugly. But he's there now.
I offered to fix him something to eat, chicken nuggets or something, but he said no. He has some TV dinners if he changes his mind, and the microwave is on the counter so he can access it.
I am just waiting for my clothes to finish, thinking about my own dinner. I had a chicken parmesan earlier, it was pretty good. I was happy to see the vegetable section was very heavy on carrots and minimal broccoli. It was pretty good and decent protein.
Since I am working out, I am focused on having a good protein intake so I can recover and repair. I have had about 60 grams so far. I will have a protein shake before I eat some ice cream, I think. :) Balance in everything.
My abs, shoulders, back, butt, and legs all feel nicely worked. I am happy with this workout but I still need to plan out a routine for the week. I need to make sure I am challenging myself, but not overworking anything, always vigilant to the fact I may need to grab Ron and keep him from falling, or pick up something heavy at work. I will probably do that next, then protein, ice cream, and laundry.
And I'd better go do it. I have to get up at 4 AM tomorrow, but we'll be done early.
Half of Sunday
I slept pretty well all night, nice and quiet. I was awakened by puppy squeals, puppy yelps, and the sound of the father next door talking to another man. They went on talking while the dog vocalized, and then it stopped.
Based on that, and my other quiet nights, I am concluding they are crating the dog inside the house and only letting it out to toilet. So, hopefully, they have learned a LOT more about dog care since the last one.
Well, I was up. I figured I might as well get up. I did that, got dressed in my workout clothes and today's pair or sneakers (I put them in rotation). I got on the computer for a while and double checked the kettelbell exercises I had planned today - some new ones.
It is really important, in weightlifting (I think) to know what exactly you want to do, so you can do it correctly = no injury and good results. Especially if you are working up to heavier weights.
Once I had that satisfied I turned on my phone and opened the fitness app. I told it I was doing stationary bike (right at the top of my choices). I got on the bike, turned on my new fan, and got started. I did a 30 minute workout. I never count the warmup and cooldown. I had my heart rate right where I wanted it for most of the workout. I did intervals - periods of more intensity with 4 minute breaks with less effort. Did that, all done. I told the app I was finished with that. The fan worked very well but the cord made funny noises every time I moved my leg on the bike.
I checked on Ron. He was fine.
I made a sugarfree "electrolyte" drink and went out in the garage. I did a little stretching and got to work on the kettlebells. It was a good workout, I felt more challenged. On one movement I can go heavier next time, but most of the time I was right in the right range. Actually, two movements I can go heavier. I will need to get some more kettlebells soon. In the meantime I guess I can do more reps with what I do have.
I had to remember to breathe, it was really hard work slinging those things around, and take a break after each exercise. If I had a heart rate monitor it would have had a lot to say!
If someone gave me a heart rate monitor I would take it but it's honestly not high on my list right now. The (free) fitness app (Google Fit) does a very good job for what I want.
I was at it for about 15 minutes. I finished up and put the weights away, then told the app I was done. I came in, did some more work on the computer, had a glass of milk and some yogurt so my body would have some protein. Then I took a shower. I washed my hair and shaved my legs so I don't have to worry about either, tomorrow. I have to wash my hair every time I work out, but if not I can go every other day.
Eventually I want to plan out a routine to follow, I am just making it up every day and like a little more structure. But that can wait for later.
I think now I will get some lunch, I'm pretty hungry. I won't take my pills yet but I can eat again later.
Based on that, and my other quiet nights, I am concluding they are crating the dog inside the house and only letting it out to toilet. So, hopefully, they have learned a LOT more about dog care since the last one.
Well, I was up. I figured I might as well get up. I did that, got dressed in my workout clothes and today's pair or sneakers (I put them in rotation). I got on the computer for a while and double checked the kettelbell exercises I had planned today - some new ones.
It is really important, in weightlifting (I think) to know what exactly you want to do, so you can do it correctly = no injury and good results. Especially if you are working up to heavier weights.
Once I had that satisfied I turned on my phone and opened the fitness app. I told it I was doing stationary bike (right at the top of my choices). I got on the bike, turned on my new fan, and got started. I did a 30 minute workout. I never count the warmup and cooldown. I had my heart rate right where I wanted it for most of the workout. I did intervals - periods of more intensity with 4 minute breaks with less effort. Did that, all done. I told the app I was finished with that. The fan worked very well but the cord made funny noises every time I moved my leg on the bike.
I checked on Ron. He was fine.
I made a sugarfree "electrolyte" drink and went out in the garage. I did a little stretching and got to work on the kettlebells. It was a good workout, I felt more challenged. On one movement I can go heavier next time, but most of the time I was right in the right range. Actually, two movements I can go heavier. I will need to get some more kettlebells soon. In the meantime I guess I can do more reps with what I do have.
I had to remember to breathe, it was really hard work slinging those things around, and take a break after each exercise. If I had a heart rate monitor it would have had a lot to say!
If someone gave me a heart rate monitor I would take it but it's honestly not high on my list right now. The (free) fitness app (Google Fit) does a very good job for what I want.
I was at it for about 15 minutes. I finished up and put the weights away, then told the app I was done. I came in, did some more work on the computer, had a glass of milk and some yogurt so my body would have some protein. Then I took a shower. I washed my hair and shaved my legs so I don't have to worry about either, tomorrow. I have to wash my hair every time I work out, but if not I can go every other day.
Eventually I want to plan out a routine to follow, I am just making it up every day and like a little more structure. But that can wait for later.
I think now I will get some lunch, I'm pretty hungry. I won't take my pills yet but I can eat again later.
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Saturday
The puppy was quiet last night. However it is sleeping it is much happier than the last dog, who barked constantly every night for months.
I got up and took my shower. I didn't work out today because I need a day to recover. Like I told Ron, since I have him and the business relying on me, I will take it slow and cautious.
We went to the warehouse. I got Jack some of their cinnamon rolls a few weeks back and he said they were the best ever. He raved about them and is always happy to see them (I had been getting him double chocolate muffins). I got a box for myself. Then I got all our stuff, not a whole lot because we have been pretty slow.
While waiting, I opened my cinnamon rolls and ate one. They were awful. I was so disappointed. I ended up eating one and (later, at home) throwing the rest out. I hate a let down like that.
We went to work. We didn't need to stock much but I helped Ron. That's what I do, helping Ron. It will be very interesting to see how I evolve when Ron "graduates". Do I find another alcoholic or addict? Maybe a uncontrolled bipolar? Or do I wait a few years, season myself, and forget about "finding" love. If God sends you someone, you don't have to look. I do agree with my pastor on that one.
I did talk to Ron about some other things the pastor said, I didn't agree with:
1. "You" don't need mental illness medication. All depression and mental illness are spiritual in nature and medication is NEVER required. WRONG!
2. Caregiving is always a wonderful joy, never a hardship. A good caregiver never has a bad moment where they snap at the patient, sigh, or roll their eyes. No, it is all a love offering to the patient and to God and as such is practically a sacrament. WRONG. Very hurtful because real people, like me, get impatient. We snap, we get impatient, we roll our eyes, we yell "WHAT?!" when bothered for the 4th time in 10 minutes, etc. We get tired and depressed. We wonder if we are doing any good. We are human, and we need to be recognized as such.
Otherwise a new caregiver is going to fall across all the negative and think they are a horrible, weak, person who doesn't measure up. They will get discouraged and may even give up.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes you need to surrender the patient, but I think for the most of us it is very healthy to just say "You're going to have bad moments/days".
And that's a sad thing: I could find an AA group for spouses but I couldn't find one caregiver group with anyone. Not in Houston. Come on, people, we're a city of millions, you would think I'd find something.
Anyway, we finished at work and went outside early. The two televisions in our area were on, competing stations, and very annoying. But the workers love them.
We went outside, it was nice, 70's, just a little breeze, sunny. A good opportunity to get some Vitamin D and sunshine. I am cycling depressed so the more sunlight, the better.
We had to wait a while and the cab driver had another passenger, but Ron could sit in his preferred spot and I sat next to him (I prefer up front but it was taken). We dropped her off at a local grocery chain in a really terrible neighborhood. Then he took us home. Traffic was light so not a problem.
I threw the cinnamon rolls away and took a nap. Ron said he would need my help around 3:30. I set an alarm. I heard the dog vocalizing but I could still drop off. Torbie slept with me, and then, later, Biscuit. Always a pleasure to see them in my bed.
I slept until the alarm went off, got up, got dressed. Ron told me he had made an arrangement with the cab driver and the liquor store, to buy more strawberry vodka (he was almost out of the plain stuff, so a run was going to happen anyway). He needed my help to make sure the cats did not get out during the process.
I was Not Happy about it but knew he would do it anyway. So I made sure the cats did not get out. He got a gallon and a half of the stuff. Ick. Then of course he had to arrange it. I was just not feeling the love towards him and I think he picked up on it, he silently rolled off towards his room and got into bed.
I battled a bad mood for a while and decided to use it on dishes. I had some dishes from last night, I had to clean the skillet and flipper, and also put the leftovers into a freezer bag and freeze that for him. Then I had to wash that bowl. So I did that. I ran the garbage disposal, we find it freezes up if we don't run it every day (and I seldom do a lot of cooking/dishes). It is almost 40 years old, an Insinkerator. When it goes, we will get another Insinkerator.
That's all done, so I came back on my computer.
I need to figure out my dinner. I took my morning pills a little late (doesn't matter) so I want to take my evening pills a little later so the morning's iron doesn't eat the Vitamin E I take with dinner. My supplement plan is working, my blood results were great, so I might as well keep it up.
I have tons of yogurt and cottage cheese, a big block of sharp cheddar, several TV dinners, and some Blue Bell pints in the freezer. An interesting note about Walmart delivery: they don't deliver Blue Bell. So I had to buy that in the store and bring it home.
Is it an "I want ice cream and I want it now" sort of night? No. I will probably try my chicken parmesan dinner and see how I like that. It is also pretty big so I'd like to free up that room in the freezer. I need to get some protein in the mix, too. I've only had about 20 grams and I like to aim for 60 minimum, especially since I am working out.
Tomorrow I should have a good and sweaty workout on kettlebells and bike. Hopefully my new clip fan will stay in place. I got a tarp to put down in the garage so I can do ab work. I think I already get a lot at work but more can't hurt.
Fitness tracker says: 86 move minutes out of 60, 4 cardio points, 6 thousand steps, and about 1.8 miles walked total. My foot is still a little sore so I am careful.
I will call my parents in a little while, probably go to voicemail as it is a holiday weekend, but I will call. I will check the mail later, maybe Ron got some more talking books although he seems happy with what he has.
And then probably laundry on Sunday. But hopefully I will be able to sleep in tomorrow. I had a pretty good sleep the other day though.
I got up and took my shower. I didn't work out today because I need a day to recover. Like I told Ron, since I have him and the business relying on me, I will take it slow and cautious.
We went to the warehouse. I got Jack some of their cinnamon rolls a few weeks back and he said they were the best ever. He raved about them and is always happy to see them (I had been getting him double chocolate muffins). I got a box for myself. Then I got all our stuff, not a whole lot because we have been pretty slow.
While waiting, I opened my cinnamon rolls and ate one. They were awful. I was so disappointed. I ended up eating one and (later, at home) throwing the rest out. I hate a let down like that.
We went to work. We didn't need to stock much but I helped Ron. That's what I do, helping Ron. It will be very interesting to see how I evolve when Ron "graduates". Do I find another alcoholic or addict? Maybe a uncontrolled bipolar? Or do I wait a few years, season myself, and forget about "finding" love. If God sends you someone, you don't have to look. I do agree with my pastor on that one.
I did talk to Ron about some other things the pastor said, I didn't agree with:
1. "You" don't need mental illness medication. All depression and mental illness are spiritual in nature and medication is NEVER required. WRONG!
2. Caregiving is always a wonderful joy, never a hardship. A good caregiver never has a bad moment where they snap at the patient, sigh, or roll their eyes. No, it is all a love offering to the patient and to God and as such is practically a sacrament. WRONG. Very hurtful because real people, like me, get impatient. We snap, we get impatient, we roll our eyes, we yell "WHAT?!" when bothered for the 4th time in 10 minutes, etc. We get tired and depressed. We wonder if we are doing any good. We are human, and we need to be recognized as such.
Otherwise a new caregiver is going to fall across all the negative and think they are a horrible, weak, person who doesn't measure up. They will get discouraged and may even give up.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes you need to surrender the patient, but I think for the most of us it is very healthy to just say "You're going to have bad moments/days".
And that's a sad thing: I could find an AA group for spouses but I couldn't find one caregiver group with anyone. Not in Houston. Come on, people, we're a city of millions, you would think I'd find something.
Anyway, we finished at work and went outside early. The two televisions in our area were on, competing stations, and very annoying. But the workers love them.
We went outside, it was nice, 70's, just a little breeze, sunny. A good opportunity to get some Vitamin D and sunshine. I am cycling depressed so the more sunlight, the better.
We had to wait a while and the cab driver had another passenger, but Ron could sit in his preferred spot and I sat next to him (I prefer up front but it was taken). We dropped her off at a local grocery chain in a really terrible neighborhood. Then he took us home. Traffic was light so not a problem.
I threw the cinnamon rolls away and took a nap. Ron said he would need my help around 3:30. I set an alarm. I heard the dog vocalizing but I could still drop off. Torbie slept with me, and then, later, Biscuit. Always a pleasure to see them in my bed.
I slept until the alarm went off, got up, got dressed. Ron told me he had made an arrangement with the cab driver and the liquor store, to buy more strawberry vodka (he was almost out of the plain stuff, so a run was going to happen anyway). He needed my help to make sure the cats did not get out during the process.
I was Not Happy about it but knew he would do it anyway. So I made sure the cats did not get out. He got a gallon and a half of the stuff. Ick. Then of course he had to arrange it. I was just not feeling the love towards him and I think he picked up on it, he silently rolled off towards his room and got into bed.
I battled a bad mood for a while and decided to use it on dishes. I had some dishes from last night, I had to clean the skillet and flipper, and also put the leftovers into a freezer bag and freeze that for him. Then I had to wash that bowl. So I did that. I ran the garbage disposal, we find it freezes up if we don't run it every day (and I seldom do a lot of cooking/dishes). It is almost 40 years old, an Insinkerator. When it goes, we will get another Insinkerator.
That's all done, so I came back on my computer.
I need to figure out my dinner. I took my morning pills a little late (doesn't matter) so I want to take my evening pills a little later so the morning's iron doesn't eat the Vitamin E I take with dinner. My supplement plan is working, my blood results were great, so I might as well keep it up.
I have tons of yogurt and cottage cheese, a big block of sharp cheddar, several TV dinners, and some Blue Bell pints in the freezer. An interesting note about Walmart delivery: they don't deliver Blue Bell. So I had to buy that in the store and bring it home.
Is it an "I want ice cream and I want it now" sort of night? No. I will probably try my chicken parmesan dinner and see how I like that. It is also pretty big so I'd like to free up that room in the freezer. I need to get some protein in the mix, too. I've only had about 20 grams and I like to aim for 60 minimum, especially since I am working out.
Tomorrow I should have a good and sweaty workout on kettlebells and bike. Hopefully my new clip fan will stay in place. I got a tarp to put down in the garage so I can do ab work. I think I already get a lot at work but more can't hurt.
Fitness tracker says: 86 move minutes out of 60, 4 cardio points, 6 thousand steps, and about 1.8 miles walked total. My foot is still a little sore so I am careful.
I will call my parents in a little while, probably go to voicemail as it is a holiday weekend, but I will call. I will check the mail later, maybe Ron got some more talking books although he seems happy with what he has.
And then probably laundry on Sunday. But hopefully I will be able to sleep in tomorrow. I had a pretty good sleep the other day though.
Friday, April 19, 2019
A trip to Walmart
I got a response to that other woman's Facebook drama, she put up a very large, annoying, flashing thing with a picture of a dog that said "Triggered" and made some rude comments. I said, I don't even know where we met (she had said something like "Oh, Heather, you know me"), not going to argue, better things to do, goodbye. Then I unfriended her. She will figure it out eventually.
But I refuse to be a part of disrespecting a hard working class of people just because you are too ignorant to figure out they take money out of the register to make change. She had refused to believe they actually needed the money to make change, that it was some cashier conspiracy ripping people off.
One, I don't deal with people who run around slandering others. Two, I don't deal with ignorant. The Bible is clear on that, you cannot educate an ignorant person. Three, you get what you give and if you are giving me disrespect and mocking you will find me walking away. And yes, that applies to Ron.
She can run around being paranoid and ignorant all she wants. And I think that is the worst thing I can say about a person, when they're ignorant.
Anyway, I slept OK. I think the puppy next door likes my noise maker, and it calms her down. At any rate I slept late, until 8:45. I got on the computer for a little bit, did my workout (bike intervals) and took a shower. I got dressed and called Arturo.
Ron had given me some cab fare money to run errands without him. He ate some chicken this morning before I left. He really likes the strawberry vodka, but not the watermelon. He put the strawberry into a plastic bottle instead of the glass. He found that challenging and asked for help. I said you know I can't do that but I will suggest pouring a moderate amount into a plastic cup and then pouring that into the funnel. Later on I saw him doing just that.
When I left, Ron had just eaten some chicken and was reading a talking book.
Arturo came, took me to the bank. Then Walmart.
I wanted a cute sports bra. They had nothing in my size. Literally, even the ugly "daily wear" ones. They had much bigger and smaller sizes but nothing that worked for me. Then I thought, I'll get some more socks. I wear socks more now that I am working out and wearing shoes every day, even my day off. And they stopped making my brand. There was a whole family there from India, it sounded like, from their accents, looking at women's socks for the older girl in the family. It reminded me of how other cultures will do the same thing, bring the whole family out to buy a box of tampons or a canister of baby formula.
That was a total loss. I moved on to the men's department. I found some cute army green pocket tshirts for me and Ron. I looked for protein shakes. They have apparently stopped making them, it's a shame because I really liked them. Most protein shakes only have about 8-10 grams, these had 30. I found the cottage cheese I like, and some Diet Mountain Dew.
Then I found the Jalapeno kettle chips Ron likes. He was very happy to see them when I got home, they are huge bags and will keep him busy for a while. Then off to the cat department. I have never understood why Walmart has the cat food right next to the heavily scented laundry products. The scent will get into the cat food and ruin it for the poor animals. One reason I don't buy cat food there.
And they were out of my litter. Well, good thing I wasn't out. I moved on, then doubled back and looked at air fresheners. I couldn't find anything in the plug in variety I liked, so I went with a cone in lavender, I have it here on my desk.
Then I went to sporting goods. I didn't get anything there. On my way to check out, a woman exited an aisle with a teenage boy, about 13. He was whining and complaining because she wouldn't buy him a toy. I will give her props for saying "No" consistently. But he kept whining, yanking on her hand, trying to turn her around to go back by force.
Now that's the point I'd have spanked him for starters and finished it when we got home. But she just kept saying no. He began sobbing, a big, 13 year old boy, and laid down on the floor. I was stuck behind them, he was blocking the aisle. I sighed and went around to the other side of the aisle and went around. But I could hear him halfway across the store. He wasn't the only bratty kid but he was the most memorable.
I almost hope he is autistic because that kind of behavior in a 13 year old boy (taller than me) is otherwise inexcusable. This is what happens when parents are told they "can't" spank their kids, it "harms" them and all that bullcrap. It harms them if you don't have discipline, early and often as needed, up until they leave your house.
Just my opinion. But every adult I know who was spanked turned out very well. Some have done very well, but not my story to tell.
I hunted around and could not find a cold diet dr pepper. It was proving to be a challenging day to shop. I settled for a couple of diet root beers instead, and a cold Dr pepper for Arturo. He loves them.
I looked around at the cashiers. Normally I like to shop very early so my favorites weren't present. I did see one I knew and went with him. Or her. They're transgendered. But a good cashier, all I care about.
I got rung up quickly and accurately, no complaints, whining, or eye rolling about my reusable bags. I'm going to remember that. Bags filled appropriately as well.
I still have a little carrying cash, not much but enough for tips. And I had put enough in my online account to cover a couple of deliveries.
I didn't want any ready made food, I have to cook some meat tonight. So I went out and called Arturo. He said 20 minutes.
As you might expect, I had done a lot of walking. So I found a seat, which is not my custom. I drank my sodas and saw a couple of paratransit drivers. One guy in a wheelchair - I had seen him all over the store, with a wagon instead of a shopping cart. Why, I couldn't say. He had a caregiver with him who was answering questions he asked about her life. He got a couple 5-gallon things of water and a bunch of junk food. I hope food stamps didn't buy that junk food because none of what he had would promote health. You need to eat a lot of protein when you are in a wheelchair.
One reason I am always getting Ron fried chicken, it is protein, and he will eat it.
Speaking of, I need to boot him out of the kitchen and do my cooking. That's it for now.
Edit: later on I accidentally stepped on Biscuit while making dinner. I feel terrible about that, he looked so betrayed. He ran off just fine though.
Hopefully I will be back in good graces tomorrow.
But I refuse to be a part of disrespecting a hard working class of people just because you are too ignorant to figure out they take money out of the register to make change. She had refused to believe they actually needed the money to make change, that it was some cashier conspiracy ripping people off.
One, I don't deal with people who run around slandering others. Two, I don't deal with ignorant. The Bible is clear on that, you cannot educate an ignorant person. Three, you get what you give and if you are giving me disrespect and mocking you will find me walking away. And yes, that applies to Ron.
She can run around being paranoid and ignorant all she wants. And I think that is the worst thing I can say about a person, when they're ignorant.
Anyway, I slept OK. I think the puppy next door likes my noise maker, and it calms her down. At any rate I slept late, until 8:45. I got on the computer for a little bit, did my workout (bike intervals) and took a shower. I got dressed and called Arturo.
Ron had given me some cab fare money to run errands without him. He ate some chicken this morning before I left. He really likes the strawberry vodka, but not the watermelon. He put the strawberry into a plastic bottle instead of the glass. He found that challenging and asked for help. I said you know I can't do that but I will suggest pouring a moderate amount into a plastic cup and then pouring that into the funnel. Later on I saw him doing just that.
When I left, Ron had just eaten some chicken and was reading a talking book.
Arturo came, took me to the bank. Then Walmart.
I wanted a cute sports bra. They had nothing in my size. Literally, even the ugly "daily wear" ones. They had much bigger and smaller sizes but nothing that worked for me. Then I thought, I'll get some more socks. I wear socks more now that I am working out and wearing shoes every day, even my day off. And they stopped making my brand. There was a whole family there from India, it sounded like, from their accents, looking at women's socks for the older girl in the family. It reminded me of how other cultures will do the same thing, bring the whole family out to buy a box of tampons or a canister of baby formula.
That was a total loss. I moved on to the men's department. I found some cute army green pocket tshirts for me and Ron. I looked for protein shakes. They have apparently stopped making them, it's a shame because I really liked them. Most protein shakes only have about 8-10 grams, these had 30. I found the cottage cheese I like, and some Diet Mountain Dew.
Then I found the Jalapeno kettle chips Ron likes. He was very happy to see them when I got home, they are huge bags and will keep him busy for a while. Then off to the cat department. I have never understood why Walmart has the cat food right next to the heavily scented laundry products. The scent will get into the cat food and ruin it for the poor animals. One reason I don't buy cat food there.
And they were out of my litter. Well, good thing I wasn't out. I moved on, then doubled back and looked at air fresheners. I couldn't find anything in the plug in variety I liked, so I went with a cone in lavender, I have it here on my desk.
Then I went to sporting goods. I didn't get anything there. On my way to check out, a woman exited an aisle with a teenage boy, about 13. He was whining and complaining because she wouldn't buy him a toy. I will give her props for saying "No" consistently. But he kept whining, yanking on her hand, trying to turn her around to go back by force.
Now that's the point I'd have spanked him for starters and finished it when we got home. But she just kept saying no. He began sobbing, a big, 13 year old boy, and laid down on the floor. I was stuck behind them, he was blocking the aisle. I sighed and went around to the other side of the aisle and went around. But I could hear him halfway across the store. He wasn't the only bratty kid but he was the most memorable.
I almost hope he is autistic because that kind of behavior in a 13 year old boy (taller than me) is otherwise inexcusable. This is what happens when parents are told they "can't" spank their kids, it "harms" them and all that bullcrap. It harms them if you don't have discipline, early and often as needed, up until they leave your house.
Just my opinion. But every adult I know who was spanked turned out very well. Some have done very well, but not my story to tell.
I hunted around and could not find a cold diet dr pepper. It was proving to be a challenging day to shop. I settled for a couple of diet root beers instead, and a cold Dr pepper for Arturo. He loves them.
I looked around at the cashiers. Normally I like to shop very early so my favorites weren't present. I did see one I knew and went with him. Or her. They're transgendered. But a good cashier, all I care about.
I got rung up quickly and accurately, no complaints, whining, or eye rolling about my reusable bags. I'm going to remember that. Bags filled appropriately as well.
I still have a little carrying cash, not much but enough for tips. And I had put enough in my online account to cover a couple of deliveries.
I didn't want any ready made food, I have to cook some meat tonight. So I went out and called Arturo. He said 20 minutes.
As you might expect, I had done a lot of walking. So I found a seat, which is not my custom. I drank my sodas and saw a couple of paratransit drivers. One guy in a wheelchair - I had seen him all over the store, with a wagon instead of a shopping cart. Why, I couldn't say. He had a caregiver with him who was answering questions he asked about her life. He got a couple 5-gallon things of water and a bunch of junk food. I hope food stamps didn't buy that junk food because none of what he had would promote health. You need to eat a lot of protein when you are in a wheelchair.
One reason I am always getting Ron fried chicken, it is protein, and he will eat it.
Speaking of, I need to boot him out of the kitchen and do my cooking. That's it for now.
Edit: later on I accidentally stepped on Biscuit while making dinner. I feel terrible about that, he looked so betrayed. He ran off just fine though.
Hopefully I will be back in good graces tomorrow.
Thursday, April 18, 2019
People 101
OOOh, I just lost my temper.
I won't repeat the whole thing, basically someone I know sharing her paranoid ravings about how the cashier at Walmart is secretly overcharging you and pocketing the money. But "LOL maybe I'm wrong".
She didn't have the balls to make it public, either. She just wanted "friends" to verify her paranoid delusions.
It's called slander. I used to be a cashier and that was one of the worst parts of my job, people accusing me of ripping them off, or trying to. That was pretty much the only time I called my supervisor. The rest of time the customers and I were very happy - and I did this for years.
I was always nice to people when I caught them trying to shoplift, and they'd say "That's not mine!" with this huge fake outrage. I would ask them if they wanted me to ring it up and they would always say no. And I would put it back in the stack of merchandise to be returned.
But I would have people say I didn't give them their change, when they'd just put it in their pocket. Either they had serious short term memory issues or they were trying to rip me off "Let's get another $20 out of dum-dum".
Or, like this woman was suggesting: stand there and block the line while you slowly go down the whole receipt, line by line, demanding to know what each item "meant". Throw a fit if something is on there you don't immediately understand, acting like the cashier's intent is to take your money.
Because, after all, the cashier is secretly keeping $5 and $10 bar codes off to the side to pad your order. AGH. The woman was dead serious.
So offensive to service providers. Like their job isn't hard enough already.
I have very seldom had issues at Walmart. Interestingly enough, my problems have come from Sam's Club. They are the ones I watch, but not in an ugly accusatory fashion. I make sure I get my change, I don't allow myself to be distracted.
But I don't go into every store acting like they're trying to screw me. Treat someone like they're a jerk and they'll be one.
That is people 101.
So I told her she had it WRONG, she was being very OFFENSIVE, I had experience in the matter and there were medical names for people who thought everyone was out to get them. I left it at that.
I am sure there will be an outraged reply the next time I log onto Facebook and she will probably unfriend me, all of which is fine.
I really don't want to be "friends" with someone like that.
I won't repeat the whole thing, basically someone I know sharing her paranoid ravings about how the cashier at Walmart is secretly overcharging you and pocketing the money. But "LOL maybe I'm wrong".
She didn't have the balls to make it public, either. She just wanted "friends" to verify her paranoid delusions.
It's called slander. I used to be a cashier and that was one of the worst parts of my job, people accusing me of ripping them off, or trying to. That was pretty much the only time I called my supervisor. The rest of time the customers and I were very happy - and I did this for years.
I was always nice to people when I caught them trying to shoplift, and they'd say "That's not mine!" with this huge fake outrage. I would ask them if they wanted me to ring it up and they would always say no. And I would put it back in the stack of merchandise to be returned.
But I would have people say I didn't give them their change, when they'd just put it in their pocket. Either they had serious short term memory issues or they were trying to rip me off "Let's get another $20 out of dum-dum".
Or, like this woman was suggesting: stand there and block the line while you slowly go down the whole receipt, line by line, demanding to know what each item "meant". Throw a fit if something is on there you don't immediately understand, acting like the cashier's intent is to take your money.
Because, after all, the cashier is secretly keeping $5 and $10 bar codes off to the side to pad your order. AGH. The woman was dead serious.
So offensive to service providers. Like their job isn't hard enough already.
I have very seldom had issues at Walmart. Interestingly enough, my problems have come from Sam's Club. They are the ones I watch, but not in an ugly accusatory fashion. I make sure I get my change, I don't allow myself to be distracted.
But I don't go into every store acting like they're trying to screw me. Treat someone like they're a jerk and they'll be one.
That is people 101.
So I told her she had it WRONG, she was being very OFFENSIVE, I had experience in the matter and there were medical names for people who thought everyone was out to get them. I left it at that.
I am sure there will be an outraged reply the next time I log onto Facebook and she will probably unfriend me, all of which is fine.
I really don't want to be "friends" with someone like that.
Comical and very, very sad
I had a decent nap after my last post, got up, got Ron ready, and took him to the chicken place. I never mind taking him there because he is getting adequate protein. It is so hard to get him to eat protein foods. He won't eat any dairy, no eggs, very picky about meat. But he loves fried chicken and only weighs 150 pounds.
So fried chicken it is. I could live off just dairy as my protein but he's different.
Our ride was late. It's the guy who's always late. Always with excuses, particularly singled out, he says, by the dispatchers. He suffers more than any other driver, he claims, and that is why his on-time performance suffers as a result.
I see one guy can't get it, and hundreds who can. You can guess my opinion, maybe he is not suited for this job.
He was the same driver both ways. We stopped and I got Ron into his wheelchair. Ron was pretty wobbly today, and required some help. He was happy to get it.
By the time I got Ron into the restaurant, the driver had taken the spot by the register. Now, like a lot of people I think you can tell a lot about someone by the way they talk to the service providers. He was running the poor food service worker ragged, asking for "deals", complaining he didn't get free refills, etc. Just basically being someone I was embarrassed to be affiliated with. But that's how it goes.
I talked to Ron while we waited. They had removed the 3 piece for $3 special. Normally he gets that. The cheapest 2 piece was $6.49. Or they had a 10 piece for $10. Even if he didn't eat it all, I told him, it would still be a better deal. He agreed. When it was our turn I, with a smile, ordered the 10 piece original and a side of biscuits (for me). Then I ordered it "for here" in Spanish. She smiled back.
I got Ron parked at the table and went to the gas station side and bought some soda for us. The lady waved me over when I came back, proffering a huge bag of chicken. I put it in front of Ron and he ate 3 pieces while we waited. The driver ate his meal off to the side. When we were all finished Ron and I got back in the vehicle and we came home.
Traffic was starting to get bad. I am SO glad I work weird hours so I can avoid most traffic.
We came home. I put Ron's soda, and the chicken, in the fridge. Ron is completely addicted to "big pineapple" soda. He has plenty now, in the fridge.
I don't worry about him and sugar because his last A1C was 5.1. That's better than mine, and I'm fine.
He laid down and has stayed asleep.
I decided to do a small workout. I got on the floor and tried to do some ab exercises. That was comical and very, very, sad. I managed 10 situps then did "bridges" where I tilted my pelvis up at an angle with my knees bent. I did 10 each.
Then I had to get up! Even sadder! But I did it.
In some ways I would say I am fit but in others I am not.
I used Ron's physical therapy workbook and did shoulder exercises with the stretchy band. He won't use them, but I will.
Then I went out in the garage and did shoulders with my weights. One one movement, I had to go heavier as the weight I had chosen was too easy. That's always good. And it has been my hardest muscle group to date (rear deltoids). I think all the cart-pulling at work has improved me.
I did that and noted it in my journal, then came back in the house. Then, exciting housework, laundry, and cleaning the litterbox!
An exciting meal of cottage cheese. That's all I really felt like, and it ensured I got enough protein for the day. I took my pills.
I did an inventory as I will be going to Walmart tomorrow, but I didn't see much we needed. I did just get a delivery.
I am sure I mentioned it already, but a few weeks ago I was "shorted" in my order, a tv dinner, some protein shakes, glucose test strips, etc. I was pretty upset because it added up to what I consider to be a lot of money.
I found it in the garage this morning, looking for my poncho. Oops. I could smell the TV dinner. That went straight in the trash. Everything else was fine and went in the house. The TV dinner was a Banquet, so only about $1 lost there. I can live with that.
But I felt so oblivious when I found it.
My fitness tracker is very happy with me today, I did better than double the "movement" goal and did pretty well on the cardio. I want to stay healthy, that is very important for me. Especially as Ron needs me more physically.
I am torn on how much to push him on being active. I think I will ask his pain doctor - he will have a good idea of Ron's abilities from looking at the MRI and he can tell me.
I don't want to be that sadist flogging him, not that he would let me; but I don't want him to deteriorate any more than he has to.
Balance in everything.
So fried chicken it is. I could live off just dairy as my protein but he's different.
Our ride was late. It's the guy who's always late. Always with excuses, particularly singled out, he says, by the dispatchers. He suffers more than any other driver, he claims, and that is why his on-time performance suffers as a result.
I see one guy can't get it, and hundreds who can. You can guess my opinion, maybe he is not suited for this job.
He was the same driver both ways. We stopped and I got Ron into his wheelchair. Ron was pretty wobbly today, and required some help. He was happy to get it.
By the time I got Ron into the restaurant, the driver had taken the spot by the register. Now, like a lot of people I think you can tell a lot about someone by the way they talk to the service providers. He was running the poor food service worker ragged, asking for "deals", complaining he didn't get free refills, etc. Just basically being someone I was embarrassed to be affiliated with. But that's how it goes.
I talked to Ron while we waited. They had removed the 3 piece for $3 special. Normally he gets that. The cheapest 2 piece was $6.49. Or they had a 10 piece for $10. Even if he didn't eat it all, I told him, it would still be a better deal. He agreed. When it was our turn I, with a smile, ordered the 10 piece original and a side of biscuits (for me). Then I ordered it "for here" in Spanish. She smiled back.
I got Ron parked at the table and went to the gas station side and bought some soda for us. The lady waved me over when I came back, proffering a huge bag of chicken. I put it in front of Ron and he ate 3 pieces while we waited. The driver ate his meal off to the side. When we were all finished Ron and I got back in the vehicle and we came home.
Traffic was starting to get bad. I am SO glad I work weird hours so I can avoid most traffic.
We came home. I put Ron's soda, and the chicken, in the fridge. Ron is completely addicted to "big pineapple" soda. He has plenty now, in the fridge.
I don't worry about him and sugar because his last A1C was 5.1. That's better than mine, and I'm fine.
He laid down and has stayed asleep.
I decided to do a small workout. I got on the floor and tried to do some ab exercises. That was comical and very, very, sad. I managed 10 situps then did "bridges" where I tilted my pelvis up at an angle with my knees bent. I did 10 each.
Then I had to get up! Even sadder! But I did it.
In some ways I would say I am fit but in others I am not.
I used Ron's physical therapy workbook and did shoulder exercises with the stretchy band. He won't use them, but I will.
Then I went out in the garage and did shoulders with my weights. One one movement, I had to go heavier as the weight I had chosen was too easy. That's always good. And it has been my hardest muscle group to date (rear deltoids). I think all the cart-pulling at work has improved me.
I did that and noted it in my journal, then came back in the house. Then, exciting housework, laundry, and cleaning the litterbox!
An exciting meal of cottage cheese. That's all I really felt like, and it ensured I got enough protein for the day. I took my pills.
I did an inventory as I will be going to Walmart tomorrow, but I didn't see much we needed. I did just get a delivery.
I am sure I mentioned it already, but a few weeks ago I was "shorted" in my order, a tv dinner, some protein shakes, glucose test strips, etc. I was pretty upset because it added up to what I consider to be a lot of money.
I found it in the garage this morning, looking for my poncho. Oops. I could smell the TV dinner. That went straight in the trash. Everything else was fine and went in the house. The TV dinner was a Banquet, so only about $1 lost there. I can live with that.
But I felt so oblivious when I found it.
My fitness tracker is very happy with me today, I did better than double the "movement" goal and did pretty well on the cardio. I want to stay healthy, that is very important for me. Especially as Ron needs me more physically.
I am torn on how much to push him on being active. I think I will ask his pain doctor - he will have a good idea of Ron's abilities from looking at the MRI and he can tell me.
I don't want to be that sadist flogging him, not that he would let me; but I don't want him to deteriorate any more than he has to.
Balance in everything.
A puppy out in severe weather
The day got off to a dismal start, Ron drinking in the kitchen, cursing God out; pouring torrential downpour outside, etc.
But it turned out OK. I got to work, helped Ron do his work, did mine. I had enough time to do it all right. I was pleased with that.
Ron, however, is a slow learner. "Do you want me to pick that up?" "NO!" [picks it up, screams] "Maybe you shouldn't do that"
Then he basically told me his mother told him to never ask for help and to always do it yourself. Even if you are in agonizing pain every time you do it. Had she still been alive, I would have taken Ron to her for a correction.
Frustrating. I have, however, come up with a solution. I will ask Ron's pain doc, in front of Ron "Should Ron be doing heavy lifting of cases of soda, ever?" Doc will of course say no. Then it is doctor's orders. He won't listen to me, that is clear.
We had a delivery man we really like call us towards the end of our day. He was having a terrible day but got to us about 45 minutes later. I was glad to see him. The other vendor was mad on Monday 'cause she didn't get him! I told him that, which elicited a grin.
Everything came in good condition, we put it away and I paid him. He left, I put the carts up, and we called a cab. It would be a half hour. We hung out in the cafeteria for a little while but they had Wendy Williams on. She reminds me of a very fashionable vulture, picking at carcasses. I am so glad I am not famous.
We left. By this point I had gotten to 105 fitness points out of 60. I think I know the secret to my good blood test results, I am VERY active.
I found a seat up front and sat down near the door. Ron called the liquor store about the flavored vodkas and they told him the flavors, he picked 2, strawberry, and watermelon. He asked them to put it on hold.
When the cab came, he asked the driver to go to the liquor store, pick up the liquor, put it in the front seat. Then we went home, the driver put the alcohol in the garage (I won't touch it).
BUT I heard a puppy yelping. And I realized #6 has got another dog. You may remember he had one 4 years ago, right about the time I got Biscuit and Gravy. All it did was bark and cry. They totally ignored it, all 8 of them, only 30 seconds a day to feed it and that's it, back in the house. The poor dog was kept outside constantly and completely ignored.
My pity for the dog was only matched by anger at losing my peace and quiet, because all it did was bark, of course. In her little doggy brain, if she barked enough a human would come.
Anyway, the dog broke the fence (the homeowner is very anal about his fencing) and got out one day, went straight to Ron. Ron is very good with animals and she got right in his lap, he loved on her good, probably more than she had in the months of living with this guy, petting her, talking to her, etc. The owner came out and found the dog on Ron's lap, called her, she wouldn't come. One, she didn't recognize him as the boss because he never spent time with her. Two, this was the only human paying her attention and she wasn't going anywhere. He cursed and left.
The next day the dog was gone. So, on the one hand, I am surprised he got another dog. He must really like the idea of a dog. Or his kids do.
But, they left it outside in severe weather this morning. Ron was utterly outraged. I did tell him she could hide under the trampoline but dogs hate thunder and heavy rain. Not a very nice thing to do to your new puppy.
The kids came home about the time I got up, and they went straight in the yard and played with her for a while. I do find that encouraging and hope that keeps up. Normally I hate the sound of the kids screaming but I would rather that than all night bark fests.
I think they have had it for a few days, and, to the dog's credit, it has let me sleep. Hopefully that will continue. But I don't think, in the long run, this dog will last any longer than the last one.
We are going to the chicken place pretty soon, Ron made a trip. It is just stupid that it is easier to go miles out of the way, than it is to go right near the house. But it's a better trip.
I talked to Ron about going to the bank, and he gave me some cash for a cab. I will go tomorrow once I sort out how much I am depositing. I like to have a mix of currency - digital and hard.
The cats are all good. The vet called us back and basically told us to use Chewy to buy Biscuit's special treats. We can do that. I already have an account.
It's been a long day.
But it turned out OK. I got to work, helped Ron do his work, did mine. I had enough time to do it all right. I was pleased with that.
Ron, however, is a slow learner. "Do you want me to pick that up?" "NO!" [picks it up, screams] "Maybe you shouldn't do that"
Then he basically told me his mother told him to never ask for help and to always do it yourself. Even if you are in agonizing pain every time you do it. Had she still been alive, I would have taken Ron to her for a correction.
Frustrating. I have, however, come up with a solution. I will ask Ron's pain doc, in front of Ron "Should Ron be doing heavy lifting of cases of soda, ever?" Doc will of course say no. Then it is doctor's orders. He won't listen to me, that is clear.
We had a delivery man we really like call us towards the end of our day. He was having a terrible day but got to us about 45 minutes later. I was glad to see him. The other vendor was mad on Monday 'cause she didn't get him! I told him that, which elicited a grin.
Everything came in good condition, we put it away and I paid him. He left, I put the carts up, and we called a cab. It would be a half hour. We hung out in the cafeteria for a little while but they had Wendy Williams on. She reminds me of a very fashionable vulture, picking at carcasses. I am so glad I am not famous.
We left. By this point I had gotten to 105 fitness points out of 60. I think I know the secret to my good blood test results, I am VERY active.
I found a seat up front and sat down near the door. Ron called the liquor store about the flavored vodkas and they told him the flavors, he picked 2, strawberry, and watermelon. He asked them to put it on hold.
When the cab came, he asked the driver to go to the liquor store, pick up the liquor, put it in the front seat. Then we went home, the driver put the alcohol in the garage (I won't touch it).
BUT I heard a puppy yelping. And I realized #6 has got another dog. You may remember he had one 4 years ago, right about the time I got Biscuit and Gravy. All it did was bark and cry. They totally ignored it, all 8 of them, only 30 seconds a day to feed it and that's it, back in the house. The poor dog was kept outside constantly and completely ignored.
My pity for the dog was only matched by anger at losing my peace and quiet, because all it did was bark, of course. In her little doggy brain, if she barked enough a human would come.
Anyway, the dog broke the fence (the homeowner is very anal about his fencing) and got out one day, went straight to Ron. Ron is very good with animals and she got right in his lap, he loved on her good, probably more than she had in the months of living with this guy, petting her, talking to her, etc. The owner came out and found the dog on Ron's lap, called her, she wouldn't come. One, she didn't recognize him as the boss because he never spent time with her. Two, this was the only human paying her attention and she wasn't going anywhere. He cursed and left.
The next day the dog was gone. So, on the one hand, I am surprised he got another dog. He must really like the idea of a dog. Or his kids do.
But, they left it outside in severe weather this morning. Ron was utterly outraged. I did tell him she could hide under the trampoline but dogs hate thunder and heavy rain. Not a very nice thing to do to your new puppy.
The kids came home about the time I got up, and they went straight in the yard and played with her for a while. I do find that encouraging and hope that keeps up. Normally I hate the sound of the kids screaming but I would rather that than all night bark fests.
I think they have had it for a few days, and, to the dog's credit, it has let me sleep. Hopefully that will continue. But I don't think, in the long run, this dog will last any longer than the last one.
We are going to the chicken place pretty soon, Ron made a trip. It is just stupid that it is easier to go miles out of the way, than it is to go right near the house. But it's a better trip.
I talked to Ron about going to the bank, and he gave me some cash for a cab. I will go tomorrow once I sort out how much I am depositing. I like to have a mix of currency - digital and hard.
The cats are all good. The vet called us back and basically told us to use Chewy to buy Biscuit's special treats. We can do that. I already have an account.
It's been a long day.
Got over half my fitness points
For the day, and it isn't even 5:30 AM.
I'd say I have a pretty active job.
Not off to a good start
Ron has been yelling, shouting, and cursing "in pain". Mixing pain pills and alcohol. "Maybe I should take another one". Bit my head off when I offered to help him. Cursed me out verbally asking "What I do for him".
I told him if he kept it up, he would find out, as he'd be working by himself today.
I was hunting all over for our wet weather stuff, some umbrellas and a poncho. I looked in the garage.
Remember, weeks ago, I didn't get all my stuff on the Walmart delivery? Turns out I did, they just put it in an odd place. I threw out the TV dinner (LOL) and brought the rest into the house. When I did that Biscuit got out into the garage. I had to chase him, I was very angry. I did manage to catch him, I think he was playing. I feel bad about that but I couldn't have him in the garage when we opened the door.
I probably made enough noise to wake #6, a bonus I guess. Biscuit isn't happy.
Ron is muttering to himself and dropping curses like the rain falling outside. He doesn't know it's raining yet.
Well, I offered to go in by myself. He said no.
I just wish he would stop attacking me when he's in pain. Right now I am glad he is hurting, he is being so hateful.
I had probably better go up front to watch or our ride. It is heavy enough the driver isn't going to want to come out and knock on our door.
I told him if he kept it up, he would find out, as he'd be working by himself today.
I was hunting all over for our wet weather stuff, some umbrellas and a poncho. I looked in the garage.
Remember, weeks ago, I didn't get all my stuff on the Walmart delivery? Turns out I did, they just put it in an odd place. I threw out the TV dinner (LOL) and brought the rest into the house. When I did that Biscuit got out into the garage. I had to chase him, I was very angry. I did manage to catch him, I think he was playing. I feel bad about that but I couldn't have him in the garage when we opened the door.
I probably made enough noise to wake #6, a bonus I guess. Biscuit isn't happy.
Ron is muttering to himself and dropping curses like the rain falling outside. He doesn't know it's raining yet.
Well, I offered to go in by myself. He said no.
I just wish he would stop attacking me when he's in pain. Right now I am glad he is hurting, he is being so hateful.
I had probably better go up front to watch or our ride. It is heavy enough the driver isn't going to want to come out and knock on our door.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
"So much better"
We have a friend. This friend has a severe drinking problem, multiple DUI's, has lost his license, got it back, and as far as I know continues to drive drunk. He told Ron he should try some "flavored vodkas" as they are "so much better".
The absolute LAST thing Ron needs is someone encouraging him to drink, or making it a more pleasant experience. When he drinks "good stuff" he has far more blackouts, more abusive, and it affects his health in negative and obvious ways.
So Ron just asked me to "help" "tell him the flavors of the flavored vodka at the liquor store". I told him "You know I won't do that". Ron was understanding but people don't realize they are causing me pain and conflict when they encourage or minimize Ron's drinking. For God's sake, don't give him ideas.
And I am sure he will love these flavored vodkas, which will be full of sugar and alcohol, a combination the liquor manufacturers have found to be winning. Ugh.
Anyway, Ron spent most of the day passed out in bed. I took a nap and he woke me up yelling about sales tax. I told him I was sleeping. He kept making noise. I had to tell him directly: be quiet and let me sleep.
But I couldn't sleep much. That's unfortunate because I have to get up very early tomorrow.
I got up and worked on my ab ball. I was very disappointed to find it was very small and hard to inflate. They had a little foot pedal thing but I found it easier to just blow in breaths from my lungs. I got it inflated, I can't see using it for crunches but I can use it to sit on while I do shoulder exercises, it will help work my core and stabilizers.
Then I worked on cleaning out the boxes in the back of the garage. My "memory" box took forever to clear through. I had every get well card Ron had gotten. Just really old things I didn't need anymore. But some if it was desirable so I kept that, photos of cats, a few photos of Ron walking around, a few garden photos.
I also had a lot of old computer software to be tossed. I got rid of that. I opened one box and found all my old business clothes, 30 years out of style. For a professional environment, I preferred a mixture of sporty lines and romantic billows. So I had a lot of ruffled sleeves, silk, etc. None of it fits. One lace sweater is a small. That is never happening. So it's all getting donated. But I had to go through it and pull out all the old pantyhose because no one wants that secondhand.
I got a lot done and called it a day.
Ron woke up and got drunk again. I am surprised he made it back to bed. He is quiet now so hopefully will "let" me sleep. Biscuit wants more food but he already ate more than his ration for the day.
Off to bed, hopefully I will sleep.
The absolute LAST thing Ron needs is someone encouraging him to drink, or making it a more pleasant experience. When he drinks "good stuff" he has far more blackouts, more abusive, and it affects his health in negative and obvious ways.
So Ron just asked me to "help" "tell him the flavors of the flavored vodka at the liquor store". I told him "You know I won't do that". Ron was understanding but people don't realize they are causing me pain and conflict when they encourage or minimize Ron's drinking. For God's sake, don't give him ideas.
And I am sure he will love these flavored vodkas, which will be full of sugar and alcohol, a combination the liquor manufacturers have found to be winning. Ugh.
Anyway, Ron spent most of the day passed out in bed. I took a nap and he woke me up yelling about sales tax. I told him I was sleeping. He kept making noise. I had to tell him directly: be quiet and let me sleep.
But I couldn't sleep much. That's unfortunate because I have to get up very early tomorrow.
I got up and worked on my ab ball. I was very disappointed to find it was very small and hard to inflate. They had a little foot pedal thing but I found it easier to just blow in breaths from my lungs. I got it inflated, I can't see using it for crunches but I can use it to sit on while I do shoulder exercises, it will help work my core and stabilizers.
Then I worked on cleaning out the boxes in the back of the garage. My "memory" box took forever to clear through. I had every get well card Ron had gotten. Just really old things I didn't need anymore. But some if it was desirable so I kept that, photos of cats, a few photos of Ron walking around, a few garden photos.
I also had a lot of old computer software to be tossed. I got rid of that. I opened one box and found all my old business clothes, 30 years out of style. For a professional environment, I preferred a mixture of sporty lines and romantic billows. So I had a lot of ruffled sleeves, silk, etc. None of it fits. One lace sweater is a small. That is never happening. So it's all getting donated. But I had to go through it and pull out all the old pantyhose because no one wants that secondhand.
I got a lot done and called it a day.
Ron woke up and got drunk again. I am surprised he made it back to bed. He is quiet now so hopefully will "let" me sleep. Biscuit wants more food but he already ate more than his ration for the day.
Off to bed, hopefully I will sleep.
Awful start
I slept OK. Got up at 7 on my day off.
The cats were hungry. I went to feed them and saw Ron in the kitchen. Slumped over in his wheelchair and passed out. While I was feeding the cats he began choking/throwing up and then gagging some more, coughing, etc. It was pitiful and disgusting.
I left him alone, he is breathing OK. God only knows what mess I will find later, I guess I am doing another load of clothes.
I'm not going to move him. There is nothing I need in the kitchen worth it.
What an awful start to the day.
The cats were hungry. I went to feed them and saw Ron in the kitchen. Slumped over in his wheelchair and passed out. While I was feeding the cats he began choking/throwing up and then gagging some more, coughing, etc. It was pitiful and disgusting.
I left him alone, he is breathing OK. God only knows what mess I will find later, I guess I am doing another load of clothes.
I'm not going to move him. There is nothing I need in the kitchen worth it.
What an awful start to the day.
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
The rest of Tuesday
I had a good workout today. I got on the bike and did slightly different intervals - very long periods of exercise, 2 minutes easy, back to work. I was about 70% of my max, which is great.
I cranked that out, 25 minutes. I want to work up to 45. Right now just getting in the habit.
Then I went in the garage and did various weight exercises, dumbbell squats, overhead presses, etc. I noticed I could stand to increase the weight on several of the movements. So I will work on that.
I did it for about 50 minutes total. Came in the house, had a glass of water, took my shower.
I got ready to go, had a protein shake, took my pills. I helped Ron get ready but I did not notice his pants were dirty - food stains. I only found that out after we were away from the house. Oops.
We had a straight trip to the store. The store was open but very quiet. I left Ron out of the way and then headed off to the weight area. I found the kettlebells first. They had two kinds, plain black, and vinyl coated colored. The colored ones were $10 more, at least for the size I wanted (15#). I put a black one in the cart and cruised around. I found the weight plates and put what I wanted in the cart. I neglected to notice they weren't the size I had planned on getting - but I have 3 barbells in that size so I will definitely use them.
I looked around some more (so far had only taken 5 minutes). I looked at heavy bags. They were very nice and I could see one in the garage, and me beating the hell out of it a few times a week. It's a thought. It's that or a treadmill, BUT a bag does not have a lot of moving parts, wouldn't care if the base got flooded (possible), upper body workout so leg/foot problems wouldn't matter. I used to have a bag of yarn I put up and beat up sometimes. I found it a good workout. It would also be about half the cost of a decent treadmill.
But I do love to run on a treadmill. So I'll think about it - I have time, I don't have the space yet.
I found some ab balls. That's one thing I'm not working, my abs. Not directly. It was purple. I liked that. But would it hold me? Rated to 350#. OK. I put it in the cart.
I heard something about the store having larger size sports bras. The ones I found did not cover my size. I will have to go with the Walmart bras.
So far I had the kettlebell, weight plates, and the ab ball. I called that done and went to the checkout. I got some Diet Dr Peppers and some jerky for Ron. I paid and told him I was ready to go. He was very surprised I hadn't taken forever.
It took longer for Arturo than it did for the shopping. We went straight home. I cleaned the garage for a while, getting rid of one and a half huge boxes of items. I dumped it all in the can, scoured the house, took out house trash, and took it all to the street. That's done.
Then I took a nap. I didn't sleep very well, the kids next door made a lot of racket. I just don't get the wholehearted, blood curdling scream thing. Maybe that is the only way they get noticed in such a large family. I don't know, but I'll be glad when school break is over and I can actually get some
rest.
I got up and did some more cleaning while I had the energy. I found 2 things I figured Ron would want, a computer power cord, and a Jeff Foxworthy comedy CD. He listened to it back in 2002. He has forgotten most of 2002 so that will be fresh for him. He was delighted when I gave it to him.
Then I rounded up all the dirty clothes and put them in the wash on soak, including Ron's dirty pants. He is just in a t shirt and underwear right now. The soak just finished (it gives it an hour) so I started a wash cycle. That will finish around 7 and I can put it in the dryer to finish tomorrow.
We are going to order some pizza later. I am thinking cheesy bread.
It's supposed to rain tomorrow night so we will see. I have to get up very early Thursday, for our delivery.
Ron didn't call in any trips for tomorrow. The state library sent him 12 books by his new favorite author (Jayne Ann Krentz) so he will be busy for quite a while.
Off I go to watch some TV for a while.
I cranked that out, 25 minutes. I want to work up to 45. Right now just getting in the habit.
Then I went in the garage and did various weight exercises, dumbbell squats, overhead presses, etc. I noticed I could stand to increase the weight on several of the movements. So I will work on that.
I did it for about 50 minutes total. Came in the house, had a glass of water, took my shower.
I got ready to go, had a protein shake, took my pills. I helped Ron get ready but I did not notice his pants were dirty - food stains. I only found that out after we were away from the house. Oops.
We had a straight trip to the store. The store was open but very quiet. I left Ron out of the way and then headed off to the weight area. I found the kettlebells first. They had two kinds, plain black, and vinyl coated colored. The colored ones were $10 more, at least for the size I wanted (15#). I put a black one in the cart and cruised around. I found the weight plates and put what I wanted in the cart. I neglected to notice they weren't the size I had planned on getting - but I have 3 barbells in that size so I will definitely use them.
I looked around some more (so far had only taken 5 minutes). I looked at heavy bags. They were very nice and I could see one in the garage, and me beating the hell out of it a few times a week. It's a thought. It's that or a treadmill, BUT a bag does not have a lot of moving parts, wouldn't care if the base got flooded (possible), upper body workout so leg/foot problems wouldn't matter. I used to have a bag of yarn I put up and beat up sometimes. I found it a good workout. It would also be about half the cost of a decent treadmill.
But I do love to run on a treadmill. So I'll think about it - I have time, I don't have the space yet.
I found some ab balls. That's one thing I'm not working, my abs. Not directly. It was purple. I liked that. But would it hold me? Rated to 350#. OK. I put it in the cart.
I heard something about the store having larger size sports bras. The ones I found did not cover my size. I will have to go with the Walmart bras.
So far I had the kettlebell, weight plates, and the ab ball. I called that done and went to the checkout. I got some Diet Dr Peppers and some jerky for Ron. I paid and told him I was ready to go. He was very surprised I hadn't taken forever.
It took longer for Arturo than it did for the shopping. We went straight home. I cleaned the garage for a while, getting rid of one and a half huge boxes of items. I dumped it all in the can, scoured the house, took out house trash, and took it all to the street. That's done.
Then I took a nap. I didn't sleep very well, the kids next door made a lot of racket. I just don't get the wholehearted, blood curdling scream thing. Maybe that is the only way they get noticed in such a large family. I don't know, but I'll be glad when school break is over and I can actually get some
rest.
I got up and did some more cleaning while I had the energy. I found 2 things I figured Ron would want, a computer power cord, and a Jeff Foxworthy comedy CD. He listened to it back in 2002. He has forgotten most of 2002 so that will be fresh for him. He was delighted when I gave it to him.
Then I rounded up all the dirty clothes and put them in the wash on soak, including Ron's dirty pants. He is just in a t shirt and underwear right now. The soak just finished (it gives it an hour) so I started a wash cycle. That will finish around 7 and I can put it in the dryer to finish tomorrow.
We are going to order some pizza later. I am thinking cheesy bread.
It's supposed to rain tomorrow night so we will see. I have to get up very early Thursday, for our delivery.
Ron didn't call in any trips for tomorrow. The state library sent him 12 books by his new favorite author (Jayne Ann Krentz) so he will be busy for quite a while.
Off I go to watch some TV for a while.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)