I had problems with my jeans

 I tend to favor one of a couple jeans and just wear it constantly.  I had 3 in current rotation.  One became too tight and two were too loose.  

So I went to the garage and dug out some likely jeans.  Some were 22W down to 18 Misses.  I found an assortment of sizes (Gloria Vanderbilt Amanda) jeans at the thrift shop over the last couple years, the 20W was too big so I figured I was "set" if I could find the 18's.  Jeans in the garage are not well organized.  I will get to that some time.  

So I rooted around and found an armload that looked likely, went in my bedroom (Biscuit laid on the bed, supervising), tried them on.  Almost all of them fit, as I suspected a range from regular Misses 18 to an old pair of Faded Glory (old Walmart brand) black jeans in a 22W.  So I have I think 6 "new" pairs in addition to the two I already had that worked.  

I am just glad I had the storage for different sizes as things I have variations in my weight.  

I mean, forget having a bad mother, blended family issues to say the least, alcoholic mother, alcoholic husband, caregiving for 18 years...I could use therapy just on my relationship with food.  

God set it up so a baby is hungry, cries, is fed and changed.  Repeat several times a day.  I didn't have that; I was fed morning and night but not during the day so I spent long hours very hungry crying.  

Worse, I recall, is when she would come, reeking of cigarettes, alcohol, BO, and perfume.  I never knew what to expect then and would often cry harder.  

I don't eat to stay alive.  I eat preemptively sometimes because I might get hungry later, eat too much for the same reason.  

Low carb would really benefit me on the hunger issue.  

I also eat carbs as comfort food and eat a lot of processed food. because I am likely addicted to the additives.  

I am going to go cook up some sausage so I can at least make sausage and cheese for my lunch next week.  

That was good.