In it, Ron was in the hospital with critical heart problems. The doctor was working very hard to save him but I could see Ron was so, so, tired of fighting. I told Ron "It's OK to go" and he said "I'm just going to rest for a minute" and I saw a light come get him.
Then I woke up.
I thought I was over all this, that I had let Ron go the day he died. I don't think about him much. But maybe I needed to process it like this. I don't know.
I do know I have a weekend holiday shift coming up with a very stressed out boss. One of her teammates, another one of my bosses' husband had a stroke "On his left side" (they always say it that way) so she is out right now before a big holiday weekend. We had a corporate visit this morning I don't know how that went.
I haven't said anything to the one caregiver boss about Ron and how he had a stroke. God just hasn't led me to do that, and the fact Ron died at the end of it all is not exactly a happy ending.
So I am pretty much dreading work but I will ask God to make it a good day anyway.
That's it for now.
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