I slept pretty well last night which is good. I need to stop having cold drinks in the fridge for when I get up. I get a chill drinking them, that's my worst problem so far.
A friend sent me a filtering water pitcher and Biscuit loves the water. Good. I like it, too. Last night lying in bed I realized I had put out the trash a day early but it is supposed to rain today anyway and I don't want to fight with it in the mud. Also it is heavy I cleaned out some old cat food before the guys got in there with the construction waste.
I need to buy some cat food today after work which means I will get home a little later but the cats are worth it. I can't buy it before work because I don't have anywhere to store it. And it is a specialty item I can't see it flying off the shelf. I only work 5 hours so that won't be too bad. Well 6 hours and I have to take a lunch, but it's going to rain, it's a Tuesday, I don't expect it to be very busy. And we are almost through the Christmas season as well. Which I mean probably equals cut hours so more time off but less money.
I am glad I could give my guy some business fixing the house, and also get in the good graces of the HOA. I don't want to be the ramshackle house.
I tell you, if I won the lotto I would absolutely get new siding and insulation, then paint, a new roof. The water heater is doing alright, Ron bought the "lifetime" one back in 2006 and it seems to be. I don't use a lot of hot water anyway.
Inside the house I would get an organizer to help me with the kitchen, get one of those off the counter microwaves, I am fine with the cabinets and counter but I might get a new dishwasher and of course a new garbage disposal. The rest of the house is fine. I would put some light fixtures in the bathroom and Ron's room that is all. I already have new paint and floors.
One thing I need to do is get the bill stuff organized. Right now I stack up the bills on a cat condo. I need to have them sorted and filed, I am thinking files in a milk crate. Where to put the milk crate is anyone's guess. Or maybe one of those filing cabinets that I would put in the orange room. I have time to think about it. I don't want it on the floor because the house flooded once when I didn't own it; flooded once when I did own it, and has ALMOST flooded several times when I did own it. So I don't keep anything on the floor. Especially important papers.
Oh, and I need a new light over the kitchen table. My guy does electrical work so the plan is to call him out to do all 3 lights at once, Ron's room, the laundry room, and the kitchen table light. The kitchen table will be a little trickier as they will have to hang it from the ceiling.
I got an ad for my former church. Things were going pretty well except for transportation until the pastor read my blog, found out I was talking about my troubles (he called it gossip but not to my face, just made a lot of pointed comments during sermons about gossips and their blogs). I always told Ron you are a part of my life and I am going to talk about you. Ron got to determine what I said. He felt that was fair. Any future man in my life will have to understand that too. So the pastor made comments about me blogging. Then he started in on mental illness drugs, how "everyone who took them was a drug addict and a sinner" etc. Of course I had issues with that.
Trust me he would not have wanted me around all those happy little families without my medication! It would have been NOTHING but drama. To top it we had issues with rides no one wanted to help us. So we stopped attending.
I told a friend of Ron's about his death, he had attended the church for a while, pretty soon I get a call from the church "I will always be a member, just call for anything, we can arrange rides" now? What about when Ron was alive? But now he's dead you can? That didn't sit well. And they have 4 church services on Sunday now so obviously popular with someone. And 95% of what he taught was Biblically correct but Jesus said it has to be 100% because a little yeast (bad teaching) ruins the whole batch.
So I'm not going. It is a little upsetting to see the ad though. I really didn't appreciate the one guy coming out to my house "with a word from the Lord" (he had a failed marriage) telling Ron he was "making Heather depressed with your drinking" and telling me I was "exposing" Ron by talking about his behavior on the blog, that I had to "cover" everything (including I assume abusive behavior). With the pastors blessing he said all that. That really burned.
I have determined God wants me to tell the truth. There are a few private things I have not shared, such as things Ron told me about his childhood that are really only his to share. But my own life/thoughts are an open book and I like it like that.
I need to take a shower. That's done and got my lunch packed. I am wearing some of my new to me jeans. These are the ones my aunt said fit me really well. They are a skinny cut, I prefer a looser leg generally but they are cute. Kind of a greige color.
Spotty is so cute today, meowing all over the house. He got on my clothes while I was getting dressed he clearly doesn't want me to leave. But I need to pay the bills.
That's it for now.
6 comments:
I had a failed marriage, I lowered myself to begging my husband to stay. He left anyway and I had to raise our child alone.
Not everyone with a failed marriage should be looked down on with a scarlet A.
That wasn't the problem. It was the fact that he was giving marriage advice, bad advice at that, harmful as well blaming Ron for my depression.
Both Ron and I agreed that if, Jay, a man who had been married some 35 years, had come out we might have paid a little more attention.
The man who did come out - his wife fled in the middle of the day with the children while he was at work, and the Women's Center helped her start a new life. That is only for battered women. So I had issues with him already.
But him? Giving advice? Like a high school dropout trying to tell you how to study for the bar. He also admitted he saw people with depression, including his wife, as morally and spiritually weak.
The marriage advice I give people is never give a man an ultimatum because he'll take it.
It backfired on me.
You may remember I signed Ron up for "Intervention". They wanted him because he was sympathetic, poor bastard drinking after he got run over, etc. We were about halfway through the process but it didn't work out.
Years later I told Ron I had done that and the format of the show, that at the end there is an ultimatum either you go to rehab or I leave you. He told me, very honestly, he would have chosen alcohol and he still would. So from that point on he was married to alcohol and I was #2 and I never, ever, forgot it.
Pardon the pun it was very sobering.
Wow. The choices people make...
Slave is not a popular word but he was completely enslaved to alcohol. Completely.
Ironically he was terrified I would also become addicted to alcohol. On some level he knew but he was in complete denial how bad it was. He would have done anything to drink. Anything.
That's why, if I date, I want a non drinker no sports bets no smoking. Just a nice boring plain guy with no drama.
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