Not what I wanted in my day

Well, I wasn't going to do a mid day post but I think I had better.  I am pretty upset. 

After my shower I watched some TV and laid down for a nap, but I had too much energy to sleep.  That is unfortunate as I will likely be going to bed very early tonight, if at all possible. 

Both Torbie and Biscuit were in my bed.  One of them quietly threw up in the bed as I lay in it, I did not find it until I got up and saw it at the foot of my bed.  Well, I can't sleep in that. 

Unfortunately I got rid of my old waterproof mattress pad, it was not good quality, and then neglected to buy a new one of any quality.  So I had a naked mattress. 

Now, I can deal with a lot but I hate stains on the mattress.  I pulled off the sheets and sure enough I have one now. 

That's what I get for mocking the truly nasty, stained, mattress I saw in the back of a pickup the other day. 

I threw everything in the wash and cleaned up the step.  I had placed plastic boxes, as steps, for the cats to get into and out of bed.  Torbie in particular really appreciates it, she's an old lady with old joints, who won't take her glucosamine.  But she will use the step. 

But now I had to clean it and I did.  I like disinfecting wipes for a job like that. 

I got the laundry going and watched some more TV.  I had a nasty headache so I drank some caffeine (instant mix), it helped.  I am not getting a lot of caffeine in any given day - today I had 160, less than a cup of coffee, Doc says keep it under 450. 

I will probably max it out tomorrow, though. 

I was just reading my comments and debating if I wanted to do another post, when Ron called me urgently.  He was awake.  I went over to him and he was rubbing his arm.  He asked me to "get off the watchband".  I told him there was nothing on his arm. 

Yes there is.  Get it off! 
No there is not, you are having a hallucination. 
No I'm not, get it off! 
Do you want me to call someone to come over and tell you?  Because you don't believe me and I'm telling you there's nothing on your arm but skin. .
If I thought it was safe, I might have given him one of my antipsychotics. 
He kept freaking out, I finally said I could call an ambulance if he wanted and the emergency room would make it go away (by giving him an antipsychotic). 

My aunt is busy today or I might have called her for advice.  I am used to being on the other end of the psychiatric emergency.  I decided to take the route of complete honesty and told Ron he was scaring me. 

Suddenly he said it was gone.  Then he tried to put his pants on "because we need to go to work", then realized it is Wednesday and we don't, took the pants off, mumbled something, and got back into bed.  I hung up the pants for him, on his chair. 

He apologized, but Baby Girl had already run off.  I am still winding down from this.  This is just really bad.  I can handle a lot but I cannot handle dementia. 

I've done it before, after his accident.  It was hell, he woke me up far more often than now, raving and delusional, no reasoning with him at all.  My only advantage was the fact he was stuck in bed and could not go anywhere, or he would have tried.  He fell on the floor one night because "my feet were higher than my head and I tried to turn myself around".  He would obsess about his feet being higher than his head and demand I turn him in bed.  Not rational, wouldn't eat, abusive, it was hell.   Damn, I thought all this was BEHIND us. 

The scary thing to me is that I know for a fact he had not had any alcohol since about 8 AM, and had been in his bed, a dozen yards from his vodka, ever since. 

The only kernel of hope: I did find that his pain pill has been linked to hallucinations.  So maybe that's it. 

But I am scared.  Of course I cannot handle something like that alone.  I have extreme skepticism about what Medicare can do for me re: home care.  Which means he goes into a medicare nursing home like the hellhole they placed his parents into.  = less care for Ron, too. 

But I will endeavor to be positive.  I don't think I need to make any phone calls just yet.  Ron has said if he has to go he'll go without fighting, if it is really too much for me.  So I have that. 

Not what I wanted in my day.