"If you can't say something nice"

Some days I sit here looking at the "new post" screen and wonder: where do I start? 

I guess I will start with last night, we had a weather front move in and had pretty serious thunderstorms for a while, in the middle of the night.  They woke me up and while I went back to sleep, the alarm came pretty early. 

I got up, got us both ready.  Ron was having a bad day for his foot.  The spinal cord is compressed and causes him to feel agonizing "foot" pain, but it is actually his back.  He is still moaning in the other room. 

We went to the warehouse, we had a driver we like.  It was also a straight trip.  I figured, being the first of the month, everyone has their food stamps and disability check and would be out SPENDING it all the first weekend and then eating ramen the rest of the month.  That's how it goes. 

But not today. 

We got to the warehouse and I got everything.  It was pretty uneventful except Ron's back was still bothering him.  And yes, he took his pills.  And had vodka at home. 

Jack came and took us to work.  It wasn't too bad unloading because I didn't have a lot of snacks.  I spent the next couple hours helping Ron stock (his back was a little better by this point).  He was able to unlock some vending machines and push some drinks into the bottled vendor.  I told him to consider it his physical therapy. 

I didn't do much for snacks, etc. because I was so damned depressed.  There is no way Ron has a major setback like this without me getting depressed.  Unfortunately. 

I got everything put up in the stockroom and we left a little early.  Paratransit called a regular yellow cab to come pick us up, he's a guy we know.  At least we knew we were getting a straight trip home. 

We got home, I put Ron in the house.  I found his hat (he had been complaining about the sun), put up my badge and keys, took off my fanny pack, brought my new books in the house (looking forward to reading those), took out the trash, checked the mail, rolled down the exterior blinds, etc. 

When I came in Ron was drinking again and said he would have "a quiet blackout".  There is no such thing.  There are loud blackouts with him falling on the floor.  I didn't say anything, I ate a snack and went to bed, telling him to please be quiet. 

He was, for about half an hour.  Then it was the usual running the wheelchair into walls, making noise in the kitchen, things falling, etc. 

I lay there in bed with Torbie, thinking, if I didn't get the seatbelt on Ron he was going to fall and injure himself.  So I got up and did that.  He didn't even notice. 

I went back to bed, he made more noise.  I got up again and he was lucid, wanted me to take him back to bed.  I did so and gave him a little boost when he had trouble getting into bed.  He stayed there for a while and then started moaning again, just now I heard a crash and some cursing which I guess means he fell out of bed.  Let me go look, I want another lemonade anyway. 

Yeah, he fell.  He is on his back kicking his legs in the air knocking things down around him, he pulled his talking book machine down on the floor, etc.  When I said something he said "Oh, you're awake."

My Dad always says, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.  I just said "Yes, I am."  I can't help him in the position he's in right now.  His feet need to be on the floor, head at a level with the bed, before I am going to risk pulling him up.  I am not wrecking my back for this man.  I'm not.  He can sleep on the floor as far as I'm concerned. 

Forget the fact that he HAD been nice and clean from his bath, his floor is filthy (seems to be how he wants it). 

On another note my stepmother sent me a text they will be busy (activities listed) having fun this weekend.  They don't want me to call until Monday.  If I didn't know better I'd say they had a hidden camera in here.  They would get a real earful if I did talk to them today. 

Ron made a good point: why do they want me to call on Saturday if they are never there?  Good question. 

On the other hand, it is nice to know they are not just sitting in front of the TV rotting their brains. 

After I finish this I will read my new weightlifting books and watch some TV until bedtime.  Then I will attempt to get a good night's sleep. 

I have a pretty extensive workout planned for tomorrow.  I will at least do kettlebells.  I am aiming for a couple hours cardio each week - met that.  I also want to do weights at least 2-3 days a week.  I did not meet that due to the "Ron lifts" on Monday night.