It was a long night. Ron finally stopped making noise around 3 AM. I got some sleep then and woke up around 8.
He is convinced alcohol is the only thing that will help when the pain pills "don't work". I told him today what I see is he is still in pain, just very drunk. He doesn't remember he was in pain but alcohol does not "work" to "help" pain.
I figured he might go for a repeat today, so I got my stuff together, got dressed in my workout clothes, and went for my workout. I did a 10 minute warmup on the exercise bike, then Kettlebells. I had a very good workout. I did not force my body past the failure point. I worked as hard as I could to complete the movement but if I truly couldn't do it I didn't force myself. I did a lot of squatting, deadlifting, swings, etc. It took about 25 minutes.
I was careful to keep the proper form (posture) breathe, and take small rests after each set. I staggered into the house, dripping with sweat and reeking. Ron was up and couldn't find his phone.
I ate some breakfast and helped him look, but I really needed a shower so I took one. When I got out I helped Ron search some more (he needs the phone for work, and to check on our rides/make trips).
Since Ron can only stand for a few seconds, he keeps all his clothes on a chair next to his bed. Guess what he knocked over last night? That's right, all the clothes on the floor.
So I picked those up, sorted the ones that needed washing, put up the sweatshirts, and put the t-shirts and twill pants back onto the chair. Along with his belt.
I had some energy so we were looking at 1. I call Chuck and we go to the cell phone store, get him a new phone. But he is very hard on phones. 2. Take his 2nd backup (he already used the first backup) phone into the cell phone store and get it set up. Or 3. Keep looking for the phone, which was, of course, off.
I didn't find it in the clothes. We looked everywhere, high and low. I finally told Ron to get out of bed (that blackout really trashed the sheet on his bed, it needs to be changed), and into his wheelchair. He went off to look in the kitchen while I moved the bed. It took about 2 minutes of searching before I found it, between a talking calculator and a spare toilet set.
I hollered that I found it and Ron came down the hall as fast as he could (not fast, but quick for him). I gave it to him, he practically kissed it.
You may wonder why I helped him find it, being as he lost it when drunk. I need him to have a cell phone, too. We need it for work. We do not have $$ to pay someone to take us to the cell phone store and pay more $$ for a new cell phone that may not work for him, when the phone was literally right under him.
He will be very careful with it, for a while. He was very grateful and kept saying so. I told him that was great, but requested he be quiet tonight so I could sleep. He agreed.
I have been battling a headache all day (it really only came up after the workout). I finally took some Excedrin for that. Now I plan to "try" to take a nap so I can catch up on my rest.
Later on I will change his bed and do a load of laundry. It's for my own protection. If anyone ever investigates us I want to be clear - I did everything I was supposed to do.
Torbie is lying on my foot, I think she wants treats. I gave her some food and she didn't eat it. So I put it up. She will either get hungry enough to eat cat food the next time I offer it or she can stay hungry. Ron already gave her treats this morning.
That's it for now. Going to rest while I can.
14 comments:
He's a pathetic loser and you are his bitch. Keep looking for things when the drunken moron loses them and then justify it. Perhaps you should have the contact info on your phone for rides, etc so that loser can go pound sand when he loses his shit from being in a drunken stupor. I can't believe you considered taking this a-hole to the store to buy a new phone. Give me a break. It will be a happy day when this man finally takes his final dirt nap. Can't wait!
I have a business to run, that all goes off his phone. I could respond to your comments but I will let them speak for themselves. They have a lot to say about who you are as a person.
He lost it when he knocked over his fanny pack on the floor, it skidded under the bed. He picked up everything else but was unable to locate the phone. Once I moved the bed it was easily found.
I do need to do a good purge in there, though. I took out one big garbage bag today but I could fill up another.
And, like me, he has socks everywhere. We need to get them paired, washed, in one place or throw them out and get new ones (paid for by him).
Probably sitting in mommas basement acting all high and mighty. SMH
With friends like that who needs enemies?
I would require him to not turn his phone off anymore, and charge it nightly, so when it happens again you can just call the phone and you will find it. Problem solved!
I did exactly that, asked him to leave it on at night. I would rather be awakened by a 2 am refund call - yes, they will call in the middle of the night if they lose a quarter - than go through trying to find it again.
It's not as if you are sleeping anyway since more often than not he is waking you up now ALL the time at night. What was that you said 2 years ago about him not letting you sleep and that being a deal breaker? Not to mention you said after Christmas you were going to leave him and lied about that to.
I guess there are no deal breakers with you and no last straws. At least admit that and don't b.s. people.
You intentionally refuse to get a job and your own income so you have to be dependent on him. Of course how would you work when you have to protect the cats from him, pick him up off the floor and clean up the urine, feces and blood he leaves around the house. It is a full time job.
Not to mention you keep saying if you didn't work for him you would have no place to live, etc. Why? Why can't he be the one to leave and go into assisted living? Without you he does not have a job or an income because he can't do anything on his own and no one else will work like a dog for him for $800 a month. The house is just as much yours as it is his. The payment can't be that much that with a full time job you would be able to continue making the payments.
And please do not get anymore cats when your 3 pass on. You keep saying you won't and then in other posts talk about if baby girl dies you will get the drunkard another cat. At least have the balls to not put another cat in this situation so you can use it as an excuse to stay.
I give Ron maybe 5 years tops at the rate he is going. All that money he wastes on vodka could have been used as extra payments to your mortgage to pay it off early.
I would get another cat if Baby Girl goes, but she is the healthiest of the lot and in no hurry to leave. She and Ron are highly bonded so I would need to get him another.
I wouldn't replace (not that I could) Torbie or Biscuit, not necessarily because I don't want another cat but the introductions (rolleyes) oh, those are awful. Rather just have 2 than go with that. Or even 1, if it was Baby Girl.
It is amusing that in one breath you say it is a full time job caring for Ron and in the next you are saying I should get another job.
I have compassion for a sick man. I don't want to ruin his life. To you, that is a bad thing and that is very sad.
I don't owe you readers anything but the truth, and I give it. It is not a crime to change my mind.
"I have compassion for a sick man. I don't want to ruin his life. To you, that is a bad thing and that is very sad."
Funny he has NO compassion for you and NO qualms about ruining your life. Interesting how that works, isn't it?
When I say caring for him I am including running his business for him. At home it is pretty easy just clean up the messes he makes and drag his ass back to bed. That's it so in reality you could work a job and still take care of him. He doesn't require much just a funnel to shovel the booze in his gut and bottles to urinate in and he is all set. Just keep him locked in his room so he doesn't hurt the cats when you are gone.
Now it is a full time job caring for the drunk BUT if you put him where he belongs which is a nursing home then you would be able to get a job.
And the fact that you still say you would get the drunk another cat is really, really, sick. YOU are the one who feeds the cat, cleans the litter box and does everything for it. Sure it hangs around Ron for the treats but that is the only reason. Heck baby girl is even staying away from him as his behavior escalates more and more. Or maybe the poor thing just can't stand the filth anymore in that bedroom.
Baby Girl is always pretty glued to Ron. She avoids him during blackouts unless he is handing out treats.
So I should stake him out in the front yard? Under a shade tree of course, with a nice water bottle and some snacks? Go work some other job that'll have me?
Now I can't get that picture out of my head.
So now you believe no one will hire you. I guess ron really is getting inside your brain. Who cares where ron goes when you are at work. I already said you could lock him in his room with his vodka and urinal and leave him there.
@ employment, yes, it will be very hard. I am documented bipolar and most don't want drama.
Also the other woman with my name (only 2 of us) has published freely about her vicodin addiction so now *I* look like a drug addict in addition to being crazy.
It is going to take an understanding or desperate boss.
Legally I cannot abandon Ron, I am sure of that. If I leave him to work I would have to arrange for a caregiver and I don't want some Medicaid hack going through my things. Probably spend all day texting while Ron lies on the floor.
Heather, long time reader. And commenter. Girl, I have bi polar. That’s why I love your blog. No one job wise cares.
No one.
Maybe one in a million.
I’m a doctor. My bi polar friends? Waitresses, lawyers, librarians, etc.
It isn’t 1985 anymore. Most have mental illness.
You are medicated and own. I’m not on the LEAVE RON TRAIN GRRRR... I’m just saying finding a job for a hard worker like you will not be harmed by your illness!
There is no legality involved please stop with the b.s. just like you said you can get in trouble for his stankness and refusal to shower which you can't. Stick him in a nursing home, get a job and move on with your life. Problem solved.
That's a load off. I was worried an employer would look me up, find it, say "Ewww drama" and throw my resume in the trash. My doctor does say bipolars and OCD's make the best employees.
I am not going to end up in a high ranking job anyway, most employers want me driving which of course I can't. I am pretty done with caregiving for a while but I am thinking maybe a warehouse job. They pay pretty well, I'd stay active, inside work, plenty of them on bus lines and one very near my house.
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