Well, I was right

 My dinner was fine with the noodles.  I did the usual sleep thing waking up every few hours.  I was glad when I woke up around 11 a big lightning storm was moving through.  I unplugged the electronics.  I went back to bed.  

I woke up a couple more times, no headache, so the black bean garlic paste is a go. I did wake up with a very mild headache around 5 but I can live with that.  

When I turned on my phone I had two messages from an irate co worker.  The lady who likes to skip out on tax free weekend (a very busy time for the store often worse than black Friday) did, yesterday.  I told them I could work both weekends if they gave me 2 days off together in the middle of the week (that is customary for people in my department).  Oh, well.  

I wonder if they will call me today.  I wonder if I will go.  I honestly don't know; I need to do some cooking.  

I was awakened by the most horrific hot flash around 7 am.  I really think I am at the end of my fertility journey.  That is sad because a lot of guys do want kids but I'm too old to have a healthy kid anyway, I think.  Overall I am OK with that.  

This is absolutely insane.  But I keep thinking I would like to be a stepmother.  I know, right?  

But I keep thinking I have a lot of love and maybe the person I meet will have kids.  It wouldn't be an automatic rule-out especially if the cats liked 'em.  I don't have my own kids so I wouldn't play favorites.  I do have extra room.  

It keeps coming up.  We will see.  

I do know Jack's daughters loved me to bits and were really hoping their Dad and I would hook up, and I think they would have been good to me (they are in their 20's).  We weren't right for each other and "We're both widowed" didn't seem like the right sort of glue especially since he told me he wasn't saved.  

The Bible is very clear: 

I Corinthians chapter 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord

Only in the Lord.  So that's the rule.  I need to stick with that boy I got BURNT not checking that out on Ron.  Just because someone talks it, doesn't mean they'll walk it and I found that out the hard way.  

But I was a kid.  I didn't know.  That is one reason I have been talking about any interests I've had I don't want to have something off in a corner and then end up where I was for 30 years.  

I will say this, if I remarry I am getting a prenup so he doesn't get the house unless I die.  If he can get life insurance on me, great, he is welcome to that but I'm not losing the house because I picked the wrong guy.  

I also wonder the way things are going, if Jesus comes back soon I really don't need to wonder about a love life.  And speaking of!  Spotty's home!  Meowing his little head off walking down the hall!  They are so cute.  

I'm going to go do my God Time.