Thursday morning

 I feel like I'm unboxing a lot the last couple years; Ron was a narcissist, Ron was an abuser, Ron was addicted.  

One thing I realized lately is Ron wanted me to be a fat little gray mouse hiding in a corner, the one no one else wanted.  He was very, very threatened whenever anyone paid me attention or gave me a compliment, especially men, which is ironic as I was not the one who cheated.  

So I dyed my hair red, I need to get it trimmed up a bit (I don't plan the glamour cut my boss suggested because I still pull it back in a ponytail while working, I can't zone, stock, move freight with my hair falling in my face), I bought lipstick.  Boy they noticed that.  

Yesterday I got a $2 palette of eye shadows.  

Now, back story, one white lady I worked with was very old, very fair, wore heavy black mascara and blue eyeliner everyday which, in my opinion, made her look terrible.  I don't want that look.  I want something low key.  

Also I don't know if it will stay with me moving around, sweating, active job, walking in the heat and humidity.  So I only spent a little money.  As far as I know my eyelids don't sweat much so I ought to be OK.  But I'm not doing mascara or eyeliner.  That, I am sure, would come off unless I wore the water proof and I don't want those chemicals on my face.  I don't plan on wearing any other makeup just a little lipstick and eye shadow.  

I just have a feeling my Candy Lady days are at an end and I'm not sure how I feel about that.  

No one's going to tear me down verbally if I take care of myself.  

Oh, yesterday, one of my coworkers is very verbally abusive.  The other employees have witnessed this.  One of the other employees has started up too.  She was going off on me yesterday.  So I told her "(Name) only one person is allowed to yell at me that is (boss)"  She was very quiet after that.  

I thought that was a very nice and low key way to set a boundary, and the kind of thing I didn't care if a customer or the boss heard me saying.  

That's it for now.