I finally realized what was pushing my button

 Long story short, there is a coworker has a good support network (extended family, lots of friends and community).  Her husband is sick.  

I have tried to be understanding and accommodating even though she gives me a steady diet of cursing and verbal abuse, calling me things like "F*cking stupid?!" etc.  Still, I believe in turning the other cheek.  

When she knows we are in for a busy time in our department she submits time off requests so she doesn't have to work it.  I got wise to this last year and warned the boss this year, "Don't give so and so the weekend of August 10 off that's tax free weekend".  So they didn't.  

I told them (management) I could work this weekend if they told me in advance and gave me 2 days off in the middle of the week (especially now as it's going to be weird riding with Buddy now).  They said they were fine.  

They were not.  She called out yesterday, one of our busiest weekends, giving herself a 3 days weekend on top of it.  

My coworker was apoplectic about it.  

I am sure she will say her husband had a problem.  Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.  But like I texted my friend I never let Ron's problems get in the way of work.  I would get up early, go to work, stock, go see Ron at the hospital or take care of him at home, etc, go home, rinse, repeat.  I did it for years especially the last year when Ron couldn't even get out of bed (the husband is nowhere near this sick).  And, unlike her, I had worse than no support, I had people actively trying to undermine me.  

And I couldn't figure out what was pushing my button on this and I finally put it together.  My sister in law.  I won't use her first name as she divorced and presumably went back to her single name, which is the same as mine.  Anyway we'll call her Mary.  

The days after Ron's accident she was very big on telling me how much she was going to help.  She even, she told me, had arranged to take one day off a week for four weeks in a row "while Ron got better".  She was quite horrified to hear the social worker tell her that was completely inadequate and she had better be prepared to help a lot more for a very long time.  

She dropped out of sight after that but one day she came to visit.  She asked how Ron was doing and took me aside "I'm so glad he got hurt" she told me "It's great, whenever I want the day off of work or I want to come in late I just call my boss and say I'm helping him".  

THAT was the button.