Tuesday morning

When I got up at 2 I did not have my bank statement but went ahead and paid the flood insurance anyway because my aunt said she had transferred and if she said she did it she did.  And I got the bank statement with the money coming in and going right back out to "flood insurance company".  I did allow myself a little extra money in my checking so I have a little additional now.  I don't think that will hurt me at tax time.  

It is nice to be down to the 180's.  I can't remember the last time I was, at least 10 years.  And I have so many cute clothes too.  I do need to get some new tops, though.  In women's sizes I am still a 20 or 2X but in men's sizes I am a XL.  It tends to run that way.  

About the only thing I would really like is a cream or white colored hoodie I could wear at the bus stop in the morning.  The bus would be able to see me better.  

I need to get going on cooking up my meat.  And then take a shower to wash the food smell out of my hair.  

Checked the weather, some rain coming up on my work days.  Could be interesting.  Friday looks to be most interesting.  I am hoping it does the "Rain in the afternoon after I'm already at work" thing as I will have a ride home and it generally does not rain at night, generally the afternoon here.  

I cooked up some ground turkey with taco seasonings, should be good the next couple days. I am going to let it cool down some before I portion it out.  It was good.  

I have 3 more portions in the fridge.  I am not sure what I will do with my weekend meals but I will figure it out.  

My aunt wanted to talk last night but I had gone to bed...texted this morning she said she would get back to me.  😂😂  And grandbaby #9 hasn't even been born yet.  

I am watching my fireman show today.  I need to go through my backpack and double check everything, and do my laundry. 

But a couple thoughts first.  When I wait out on my second bus I'm at a pretty busy intersection.  I see 2 things every morning without fail, all week long.  First is the tofu truck.  I live in a diverse neighborhood so I have all races around me.  Apparently there is a tofu manufacturer not far away, that truck passes me every morning at 8 AM on the DOT.  I can set my watch by him.  

I am also not far from the local fire station and I see the truck that responded to Ron's call every day (I recognize the number on the side).  I see them every day too, and then when I ride around I see them at a restaurant that has a bunch of advertising for delicious breakfasts.  I am glad they are getting a good meal, they were good guys and very caring the day Ron died.  

And that got me thinking.  So I called 911, the firemen came in and put Ron on the floor (I didn't want to hurt him throwing him down on the floor like they ended up doing), and went to work.  Paramedics showed up eventually and there were 4 of them working on Ron.  They had a procedure and I stayed out of the way, one of the paramedics came over and got the medical history which took a while and the history of how I found him.  Periodically they would put him on a heart monitor and it would be a flatline tone, they would go back to work (they had a CPR machine too).  After what turned out to be a half hour I told the girl it was time to stop.  She said "What?"  I don't think they hear that very often.  

Ron had died on scene at the accident and he was revived, and he was always clear he did not want that to happen again.  I kept thinking of the times he begged me to make sure he was never revived.  How he said he would "Haunt (my) ass" if I ever allowed it.  So she went and got someone in charge and told him what I said, he came over and heard it from me directly.  Then he called his boss and I had to tell the boss.  Then they took the phone, line still open, over to Ron and gave his vitals and what they had done and they officially declared him dead half an hour after they came.  

And I am fine with that.  It's the only thing I could do and live with myself.  I fall asleep just fine never wondering if I did the right thing.   If you ever wondered.  

He was also suffering so much even the day he died that it was a blessing to see his pain end, even though it's made my life a lot harder.  

Just some thoughts today.