Wednesday

 Down another pound to 208, also slept pretty well.  If you think I am doing well God gets the credit: I believe 100% Ron is with God, in Heaven, happier than he has ever been.  At peace and full of joy.  That has made it a lot easier to say goodbye.  God has also taken really good care of me as well.  I trust Him.  He has gotten me this far, He will take me all the way.  

If you were wondering... that's where I come from.  I am going to take a shower.  Done, even shaved my legs.  Legs don't matter because I wear long jeans every day but I do like to get them once a week or so.  If I remarry some time in the future I will of course be more diligent.  

I did my Bible study and did some candy up for the day.  I have "sanitized" bags of candy with NO Scripture booklet to hand out at work because the Gospel is offensive to some and work is "inclusive".  I do pray for them, though.  Then I have Spanish candy (some actual candy from Mexico they all seem to love) with the usual other suspects and a Spanish booklet, then the regular bags with candy and booklet.  I have it in one of those mesh "market bags" you can see through so security won't freak.  

I'm just waiting on my aunt but she was very busy yesterday, she and her husband help with elections (trained and all that) so they remain honest.  But it's a long day/night for them on election day.  I always go back to that woman who came up on me helping Ron vote, the way I always did, inserted herself into the process and demanded Ron say how he was voting to her.  When he said "Straight Republican ticket" she looked like she bit a lemon.  Now I think blacks are traditional Democrat voters, many of them.  I know every disabled person I ever met voted Democrat.  So a black man in a wheelchair was a sure fire Democrat vote, right?  😂  Wrong.  It was funny to see her face.  It was funny enough I did not file a complaint.  

But I expect her to run late today.  Happily I do not have much I need to do, today.  

Oh, I almost forgot I am down to 208.  I am prioritizing protein and that seems to be the fix.  If I get enough protein the pounds come off.  I can eat some fat.  I can eat carbs.  I can eat anything in moderation (for now) and it still comes off.  

Either that or I have a tumor.  😕  At some point I will get a medical checkup it has been a while.  Typical caregiver thing neglect myself and take care of him because (so the thought went) there was not enough care for both of us.  It made me so mad I was watching Dr Oz one day before clocking in at work and he presented this aggrieved caregiver wife (taking care of mother in law).  "I have to do it, but it's so hard".  Any caregiver could relate.  Husband was not doing much to help I noted.  Dr Oz comes in and says "I have the fix" and does a big advertising spiel for a home healthcare company and says they are getting free care from them from now on.  The caregiver was happy, but some issues with that.  

I am (still) in a caregiver group.  It is nearly impossible for anyone to afford any amount of care and insurance doesn't always cover it.  It is really hard to find quality hard workers the loved one will like.  I know one senior for instance will not let any blacks or latinas take care of her, which eliminates 95% of the population.  Other caregivers are lazy and buy movies on your TV, or play with their phones the whole shift.  If you use an agency the agency gets about 75% of what you are paying and the caregiver is only getting $10 an hour.  She can make more working at Walmart without any toilet assistance.  Which begs the question is it that the caregiver couldn't get a job at Walmart and got into this?  

All valid reasons I did not look into that with Ron.  But the main reason Ron wanted a man and I couldn't find one.  

It is a little cool today I am debating wearing my jacket.  It is the kind of day everyone will be running the air conditioner.  Even though it isn't "hot" it is bright and sunny out so people automatically reach for the thermostat.  It was supposed to rain today.  Either it went the other way or is coming later.  We will see.  

That's it for now.