I had a mental evaluation (examining what I could and could not do,learning disabilities, etc.) when I was 17. I was then diagnosed with FAS. I was not allowed to read that report. A few months later I met Ron and a report was written about our relationship. One line that stuck out even 30 years later "Due to her disability, Heather is extremely naive and trusting".
And I admit I don't always have good radar on things. There are a couple guys at work might be interested might just be friendly. I am not ugly, getting in better shape, friendly. Or maybe they are just friendly because there are not a lot of white women working at my store. I DON'T KNOW.
That is one thing that is driving me nuts lately: I DON'T KNOW. I think Beau might be interested. He acts interested when I see him, which isn't often, flashes me an amazing smile and very expressive eyes... but nothing has been SAID. Not directly,not beyond the level of a little light flirting. But he chanced getting in trouble to come say hi to me after my lunch when he had absolutely NO reason to be there. And he still stuck around to tell me goodbye after a Team Lead told him to leave.
I do not want another man losing his job over me (Ron did) so I have considered just giving him my phone number, but that could be awkward and embarrassing and do women even do that these days? I DON'T KNOW. It is all vastly confusing. He is not on Facebook, I checked.
So I have been taking it to The Throne and asking God to lead me, I did that today and almost fell over Beau when I turned a corner. He was very happy to see me. Is that a yes? A no? My Bible study tonight was a good example, one of them was on loving everyone, another was on not having idols that get between you and God.
I will not see the man for 2 days at least so I plan to take this to God as needed.
That's it for now.
9 comments:
If he is interested in anything more than seeing you at work, he will tell you. Seriously, it is that easy. Don't stress over it.
I am curious if your parents ever gave you those evaluations from your childhood. It is a part of your medical history and you should have them even if you don't want to ever show them to anyone.
No they didn't. I was allowed to read all of them including the one saying I had deficits between my performance IQ (80, borderline) and verbal IQ (140, well over average). And that in a nutshell is what drives everyone nuts about my brain damage. I present in such a way you think you're getting the 140 and then I bust out with the 80. What the hell, Heather? I thought you were better than that... I don't think that has gotten any better the last 30 years although I am better at faking.
I make a little too much to go for disability now but if I did I'm sure the tests would show ALL.
I was not allowed to read the test pages diagnosing me with Fetal Alcohol they felt it would be "too damaging" and Dad "didn't think I was that bad, anyway". But when I told Dad years later I thought I had FAS he said "Oh yeah there was some test back when you were a teen said you had it". It was another 10 years before Dad could admit I had it and he feels complicit because he didn't think drinking "light" liquor would hurt me when Mom was pregnant and that's all she drank around him. When he went to work she would get out the hard stuff according to my sister.
I am just worried Beau is going to get in trouble at work because he is not in his area when he is on the clock and it has been noticed a few times. He is a good worker everyone likes him...but I don't want him to get a "verbal". My current manager doesn't care but the other 2 will when they get back (one was loaned out to another store and one is on leave).
Beau is a big boy why are you trying to mommy him? It's not like you are telling him to come over and talk to you so if he gets in trouble it's on him. He's a grown old man. It's not like he is a teenager.
He's not "old" he is younger than me for sure. LOL Heather the cougar have to change the blog title.
It is a big problem for team leads; workers talking to each other instead of working. But his boss is kind of a hard-ass and I don't want him in trouble.
You can't imagine how I felt when Ron told me he got fired for dating me. Admittedly they had no choice Dad was threatening to sue them...
I understand about the old reports. If your Dad still has them, they would be useful for any future disability claim. I used to work in the field. Anything he has could help make the process easier for you.
Beau can make his own decisions. If he decides to get reprimanded instead of doing his job, that's not your problem. I wonder how many other departments he gets chased out of every shift.
Dude calm down. Seriously. Obviously your like him but just because he talks to you doesn't mean he likes you. If you want to go on a date with him then ask him out. If you don't because of your 5 year no dating rule then just see him as a work person you talk to. But to me it sounds like you want to go on a date with him so ask him out already. Then you can wear that nice dress you bought.
Well my clue if you have it he tends to act a little bashful around me and counteracts that with humor, which he does not do with anyone else around me.
If my one co worker has it right he gets chased out of every department! LOL But I figure just because he is friendly with women (including me) does not mean he is banging them, wants to, or is even looking for a relationship. He may just relate better with women the way I relate better with men.
My aunt, in so many words, told me to slow down. LOL Good advice.
I'm certain they don't have the reports, but a decent neuropsych workup would expose it all. Ron had one and when he came out of there he said he kept thinking how I would have failed this or that portion.
Currently I net about $1500 a month so I think that's more that SS "allows" someone with a disability to make. And I would rather work anyway.
I was also officially (at the Children's hospital) diagnosed as "borderline" when I was 6 months old, which sent my mother into a tailspin. According to my sister she realized then she HAD harmed me with her alcohol usage. She had 2 normal (living) children in their late teens by then.
So I can likely get benefits if I am unable to work one day. That's just the FAS not looking at the unnamed mood disorder.
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