At work. It's just not fun; has never been fun, since I started.
I believed the Metro trip planner and ended up at work way early. I also got to ride with a driver who made me very uncomfortable. She was white and older. Yelling nonsense to herself as she went down the road. Next time I am getting off. God knows I had the time.
I got about 6 hours sleep last night. I am tired and trying to caffeinate.
The challenging boss goes home a few hours after I start.
That's it for now.
When I first heard "Monkey" by George Michael it really resonated. It's a song about loving someone with addiction.
Lately though it's been uprooted by Family Force Five's Dance or Die. It really hits home, more than any other song I can remember.
I'm posting from my phone so I can't put up lyrics or a link but you can look it up on YouTube if you're interested. I downloaded it to my phone.
I guess that really has been my approach: dance or Die.
I killed it at work, documented by not only Chief Snitch and another Team Lead but also photos. The boss was beaming.
The trips are a little weird on the weekend so I need to figure out my ride to work before I go to bed.
They basically gave me my work, my equipment, left me alone. The chief snitch came by a few times to check on me but that's fine I was working. I also have been documenting everything.
I brought a shrimp cup of noodles. Halfway through it I wondered "Can I eat this with a crab allergy?' and the answer is no.
Well.
Only 2 hours left tonight. 6 hours tomorrow but likely only 2 with that boss, who has been very busy tonight.
I have a ride home tonight and tomorrow.
That's it for now.
I did everything they asked well before they expected. They also asked me to do something else; other employees turn this into an all night job, I did it in an hour and a half.
And my boss found one thing she didn't like (other employees, herself, and the other team leads put things in an area - there were 2 bags of food, paid merchandise, drinks, etc...she was angry it wasn't tidy, called me as I was clocking out, shouted at me, said there was going to be an accounting today) she's yelling at me loud enough an employee at another table is staring, I just said I was sorry and she relented.
But REALLY? I did the work of 2-3 people last night, in a six hour shift.
Screw it. I didn't lose any sleep. You can't have it both ways - it is either the parking lot or you want it tidy, you don't get both. I won't say that of course. She herself is notorious for leaving half drunk sodas all over the place.
The good news I will probably be on the zone - so I won't see her until 3. I will have a lunch at 6 or 7, so that's another hour, and she leaves at 8 so maybe 4 hours total. The good news they did give me the equipment I needed last night to do the one part of my job.
Some, a lot of, my job is just stuff I have to do with my hands and eyes. Part of it requires equipment which I have had a lot of trouble getting in the past, but I'm going to start documenting that.
I really feel like I cannot document ENOUGH.
I vented a little to Ace on the way home - I feel bad about that but he said this is why he will never work for someone else, this kind of BS - and he made a comment I felt was a real zinger but I cannot share. I do like Ace a lot - like a brother. I have never touched him other than loading/unloading the cab. I wouldn't unless he was having a really terrible day and he said he could use a hug. But I value and respect him as a brother. He's been there for me when a lot of people weren't.
Why not him? Well for one he is not saved, and that's forbidden in the Bible. Second he is divorced and I think that is complicated. Also the Bible says if I marry a divorced man it is adultery. It is permitted but not advised. And I can see why. There are a lot of complicated feelings there I can tell. Third I think he is one of those super tidy types and I am not. I think that would be an issue.
Although he has been fine with the cats even driving Cleo home from the vet when she pooped in her carrier. He thought it was funny. The cab REEKED. He was so nice about it! That's why I would never screw things up.
I slept OK. It's going to rain pretty much the next week so I am bringing my poncho every day.
Biscuit was heaving a little this morning - probably a hair ball. I felt bad for him so I gave him some wet food for breakfast. I also put out the regular dry ration as well. He gobbled up the wet food so he's feeling better. I hope he doesn't start using that as a gimmick.
I need to take a shower, do my God Time, get dressed. Since I wear my work clothes out on the bus and at work, not exactly clean environments, I don't like to wear them in the house so I will probably put them on last thing.
Last night I also used my phone to put another $40 on my bus card. Interestingly enough Metro bus has several passes saved under my account. But I only have the one card so I don't know what's up with that. I just add the value to the card that starts with a 4 and that works
Oddly enough only I can put value on it because it is a "registered" card and I have to enter a passcode to put value on it. I did that of course but I thought it was interesting. If someone wants to put value on my card let them... but they say no.
If someone wanted to they would have to buy an unregistered card and do it that way. It will be interesting to see what happens with that if I do start dating a bus driver. I know spouses ride for free...
So I am moderately dreading work today which I find sad. I don't know what I'm doing for lunch either.
That's it for now.
It's amazing what I can do when I have the equipment I need. I work until 9 tonight; 9 tomorrow. It rained again while I was at work but it didn't matter. I did text Ace and tell him to be safe. He liked that
I am terrible at the "like" stuff between men and women. I don't mean lust because it's been my experience I am attracted more to the person than the outer shell. If I really like someone I find them very appealing. Although I do like a tidy man not someone scruffy and sloppy.
Anyway a man I chat with on occasion came by where I was working, once when I was doing grocery, once when I was back doing my main job. He was off the clock both times. My one coworker practically bit him. If he'd been a dog he'd have run off yelping.
Just goes to show any man comes by work he had better be ready!
I have NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS. I don't plan to date coworkers I could see that going bad really fast.
But I found it interesting.
Maybe because it rained? Not sure
I am glad I took my antidepressant.
I just want to go back to bed.
I still have today and 2 more after that before I get a day off and then only one day.
I also need to figure out what I'm getting after work tonight as I do have a ride.
I feel like I'm unboxing a lot the last couple years; Ron was a narcissist, Ron was an abuser, Ron was addicted.
One thing I realized lately is Ron wanted me to be a fat little gray mouse hiding in a corner, the one no one else wanted. He was very, very threatened whenever anyone paid me attention or gave me a compliment, especially men, which is ironic as I was not the one who cheated.
So I dyed my hair red, I need to get it trimmed up a bit (I don't plan the glamour cut my boss suggested because I still pull it back in a ponytail while working, I can't zone, stock, move freight with my hair falling in my face), I bought lipstick. Boy they noticed that.
Yesterday I got a $2 palette of eye shadows.
Now, back story, one white lady I worked with was very old, very fair, wore heavy black mascara and blue eyeliner everyday which, in my opinion, made her look terrible. I don't want that look. I want something low key.
Also I don't know if it will stay with me moving around, sweating, active job, walking in the heat and humidity. So I only spent a little money. As far as I know my eyelids don't sweat much so I ought to be OK. But I'm not doing mascara or eyeliner. That, I am sure, would come off unless I wore the water proof and I don't want those chemicals on my face. I don't plan on wearing any other makeup just a little lipstick and eye shadow.
I just have a feeling my Candy Lady days are at an end and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
No one's going to tear me down verbally if I take care of myself.
Oh, yesterday, one of my coworkers is very verbally abusive. The other employees have witnessed this. One of the other employees has started up too. She was going off on me yesterday. So I told her "(Name) only one person is allowed to yell at me that is (boss)" She was very quiet after that.
I thought that was a very nice and low key way to set a boundary, and the kind of thing I didn't care if a customer or the boss heard me saying.
That's it for now.
Yesterday I could not do what my boss had asked because I did not have the equipment I needed. She will likely be unhappy about it tonight. I will show her pictures of what I can do if I have the equipment. I have her the whole shift 2-9 today.
But I do have Ace getting me after work. I need to get some cat food and laundry detergent after work. I need to text Ace and set that up.
I think I'm just going to bring a cup of noodles today for my lunch.
I am baffled they don't have the candy anymore for me to hand out. Is that over now? I need to pray on that.
That's it for now.
I thought it might be fun to go out for pupusas with Buddy but that's not going to happen.
It would be a great first date, good, cheap, food, readily available here. I actually had several contenders going (two at gas stations and one taco truck) for taking myself out for pupusas.
More on that in a minute...
Work was not bad but just bad energy again. We didn't have enough equipment and no one was able to get their jobs done. The night shift don't understand what the manager wants. More, they don't care they are just phoning it in, most of them. But who's going to work nights and weekends for j$14 an hour? Not generally the cream of the crop in this economy.
There, that doesn't reflect badly on the corporation. And, interestingly enough, Walmart had the toughest application process of all.
When I left the house this morning I had my tote bag and my fold-flat rolling cart. It is not as spacious or rugged as my standard cart but it's great in a tight spot as it latches closed and is about 2 inches thick. So I had it like that to work, at work, on the way to the transit center, on another bus, and then at the store sitting in my shopping cart. I don't like putting unpaid merchandise in my hand cart. Then, after I paid, I took the cart out and opened it up, put my stuff in it. And it was fine for what I had tonight.
The store no longer has my candy. I don't know what I'm going to do. I didn't like the other choices crappy overpriced junk.
Two drivers have told me Party City is good I need to get there somehow.
It took a long time, though. I left the house at 5:50 and I didn't get home until about 8:45 again. Biscuit was Not Happy. I'm glad I spent so much time with him last weekend.
So, while I was at the grocery store I got my powdered ginger, the smoked paprika looked good so I got a jar for $1. I got some nice small sweet potatoes, some bananas, etc. Then I was looking at dinner things. What would be an easy heat and eat dinner after a long day? That wasn't too bad nutritionally?
I did get 2 mini frozen pizzas one is cooling right now (I added extra cheese). And then I saw the frozen pupusas. I got those last year and they were really good. I couldn't decide between the pork and the bean so I got one of each. I can't find 8 pupusas for $10 anywhere. And, best of all, I don't have to travel to get them. I also got some frozen burritos, those are always good. That will hold me a while.
I also got some canned vegetables and some powdered sugar free drink mix.
That's it for now. Praise God I don't have to go to work early tomorrow.
I have been thinking about this a while; how I envy people who aren't fed a steady diet of love songs while they work every day. It gets old. It makes me feel lonely. It doesn't make me a happy worker.
That's it for now.
So it was, in some ways, a pretty awful ride home.
The first bus passed me up. I had a half dozen filthy, drunk, homeless people wandering around. They kept evaluating me
The bus pulls up. It is Buddy.
I told him he had made my day better. He said "You weren't expecting me huh?" And I said no but I was very happy to see him.
Very light talk on the way. In passing he mentioned I was "About his Mom's age".
Ouch. I may have brain damage but that is pretty clear. Message received.
It is after 8 pm I am still waiting on my last bus. It has had a series of - problems - today.
If I see the matchmaking driver again I am going to give her the go ahead.
I signed an NDA saying I wouldn't publish anything that made the company look bad so I will respect that.
I guess I can say the energy was bad today - toxic and oppressive. I am also having bus issues. Got passed up which had me yelling SOB which got all the homeless (7 at last count) worked up.
God save us.
But she is on a rampage which led to me being, additionally, abused by a customer.
She goes home at 4 it can't happen soon enough.
I need to pray for her.
A lot of bus drivers are very ambitious. One of last night's drivers was telling me he sold windows in addition to his job, many talk about doing a lot of overtime, one lady this morning plans to "Go down" to a 40 hour week and then pick up a second job in January.
It makes me feel like a slug!
So I had rice with grated cheese for dinner. It's a complete protein. It worked with my medication.
I had a good ride in today once I got across the street. Commuters in my neighborhood want to just go the minute they see a gap without giving me a few seconds first. Not cool.
One of my drivers told me Metro bus has over 3,000 drivers which I find very interesting. Monday is a holiday schedule so I won't know about Buddy until Tuesday.
It's my long day today but I'm going to make it!
That's it for now.
I soaked some lentils last night/this morning.
I have a tick I guess, if I read a recipe and I like it I can "save" things in my head, like one curry recipe said 2 parts curry powder to one part garam masala spice. Another recipe said 1 t cumin for each cup of lentils. So I decided to make both recipes.
I had the spices. I put a little coconut oil in the pots, warmed it, added the spice and some chopped onion, got that cooked for a bit, then added the water, a little salt, and the lentils.
The house smells wonderful so hopefully they will taste good too.
I also made some rice so I have a complete protein out of that. I thought it would be awful but it's actually pretty fun cooking when I get home from work.
I would not have guessed.
I felt bad for my first driver. I could see my second bus leaving as we approached the intersection. "Which one are you catching?" She asked. I told her and said it was ok at least I knew.
She was very nice but NOT coming back. I don't see the harm - this is easily found online - but the next bid isn't until January. So whoever I get on any of my routes will only be there 4 months.
I don't know about Buddy I would say probably 1 in 4 odds he comes back. He is very low key and seemingly unfazed by the crazy train. We will see.
I soaked some lentils. I need to cook them tonight. I am thinking of dividing them and doing half with some cumin and onion - a middle eastern take; and the other half either a traditional curry with potatoes or maybe just onion, black pepper, tomato sauce.
Remember I am pretty allergic to garlic.
Waiting on my last bus. He was nice enough to let me on early.
That's it for now.
The two managers (mine) who object to me helping out grocery were gone today so the grocery manager borrowed me for an hour. I thought it was funny both of them (grocery team leads) came by to make sure I was there.
I only have 2 hours when I get back then the ride home. I am pretty tired.
I have been busy though.
A stoned looking guy on the bus; touching himself *there*. He was wearing knit shorts turned around with the pocket in the front, hand in the pocket. Moving the hand the whole way.
I thought about calling Metro police but figured they wouldn't care, and if they did getting rid of him would delay the bus and cost the driver his break.
The driver told me he is going to another route. I wasn't surprised.
So far the store seems fairly quiet. I don't have the one boss today.
It will be interesting to see who takes me home today. Not Buddy for sure.
I took a Benadryl. It helped me doze off but I didn't stay asleep. And that's why I don't like taking pills. I didn't even have any caffeine.
Maybe it's a menopause thing. Maybe it's a depression thing. Who knows.
It will be sad coming home today Buddy was very clear that's not his run, last week. Off to "wash" my hair with conditioner. I am a firm believer in letting the henna work for 48 hours (this afternoon) before washing with shampoo. So that means I will shampoo it tomorrow morning.
Ideally I would have taken Ace home the days I got off at 6 but the money's not right for that.
I am also out of candy; I feel terrible about that but the money was just not there. I will likely get more Wednesday when I get paid. Money, and candy.
Six hours of sleep last night according to my fitbit. It's going to be a long day!
No the budget is not that bad I can at least get groceries, candy to distribute, and cat food. Not a lot of luxury though.
The AC finally turned off; it's going to rain all next week so it will be cooler. Of course that means I get to manage commuting in the rain though.
I am very, very, happy with my hair color now.
That's it for now!
I am glad I worked 2 full weeks. That helps; but with the AC running all the time I have to save at least a hundred out of this check for the next bill.
One interesting note on a Chromebook it does not have a caps lock. The button for that is actually the "start menu" button to borrow a Windows term. So I open the start menu on a regular basis. I am learning to Shift+ on the letters instead of just whacking Caps Lock and typing it out. One time, forgetting this, I managed to lock the computer, that was fun getting it unlocked again.
Other than that it is a fine computer for my needs. The video blogs are taken by the computer.
I'm going to take another nap. I remembered I had some cans of condensed vegetable soup with barley so I had one of those for dinner.
How much to budget for groceries? I already put the candy and cat food in the budget.
I still feel off so I took a nap.
I had a nightmare about cannibal children and then being kidnapped and kept by sex sadists who were going to torture me to death for (their) pleasure. Then I woke up.
Not really eager for another nap.
So I took my shower with the clarifying shampoo and no conditioner, let it air dry about 90% and finished it with the hair dryer. I am just not a hairdryer person but I was remembering my teenage years when I could put my head upside down, blow dry my hair, and get the big hair look so coveted in the early 90's. I would use a little mousse at the roots if I recall correctly.
I did the henna, wrapped my head in plastic, put a shower cap on top of that, and laid down for a while. I am pretty blind without my glasses. I was able to adjust my phone so I could send a few text messages (I fixed it back when I was done) but that was about it, no computer use for sure and I didn't want to watch SVU. So I laid down.
I had a headache when I woke up this morning so I took some Excedrin. Usually I take it on an empty stomach. Well my stomach didn't like that much. The headache came back so I thought "I'll have a nice little chunk of cheese with the headache pills and that will make it OK".
It didn't work and a few hours later saw a return of the cheese and a whole lot of diet iced tea as well. Happily I did have my bucket at hand. I had just rinsed out the henna - that takes a while, about 15 minutes, and then I condition it which gets out the last of the henna, let that sit about 5 minutes (I clip my hair up when I'm conditioning and always leave it a while). My hair is very soft so I'm glad I did that.
I'm not sure if Suave still makes the rosemary peppermint shampoo and conditioner but I used the conditioner for that, I had about a third of a bottle and thought I might as well use it on this. Overall I am happy with Suave products.
I did read I shouldn't use keratin or protein shampoos and conditioners when I'm using a henna which means I'll have to do some hunting after I get paid, see what the store has in stock. Maybe the Tresseme because the Suave color care line has keratin.
Once I got through throwing up, cleaned that up, blew my nose several times, went back to bed with Biscuit. He has been an awesome cuddle cat today. Him, primarily. I did see Spotty and Cleo but Biscuit was bapping Cleo when she tried to lay on my chest.
Well, he was here first.
I'll put up a picture of my hair after it's dry.
I was going to do some cooking but that's out. I did manage to get the laundry but forgot my vest. So I'll do that with the towels I guess.
I hear we (Walmart) are going back to the navy blue vest which would be great, it shows dirt less, and the color is something you can face every day, it also matches pretty much any clothing items. I have some cute lavender jeans but they look awful with the bright blue vest.
The cats have been awesome today; I want a man in my life (not for sex, not mainly) but the cats give me plenty of love in the meantime. And if God has someone for me he will love the cats as much as I do.
That's it for now!
I decided to do a touch up on the henna today. So I did the prep work on the henna paste when I woke up around 4 and went back to bed.
I got up and took a shower and used the clarifying shampoo and no conditioner. When my hair's dry I'll apply the paste and let it work it's magic for the next couple of hours. Unlike last time I will not be wearing my glasses that should be pretty entertaining.
Good times with Biscuit this morning. Yes, the selfies aren't flattering but I don't care.
It's going to be hot and miserable, I have about $6 in my pocket until Wednesday, so I'm going to stay home.
Kind of queasy today so I will do the cooking tomorrow.
That's it for now.
Well I made it home OK. Talked to my parents some news I can't share as it pins me down.
Nothing that will affect me, directly I THINK, but we'll see.
I did find it interesting the bus passed in front of us (Ace drove me home) on the way home but I couldn't see who was driving. I did wonder, though.
It will be very interesting to see if he is there on the second. A lot hinges on that. If he does come back it is because he asked, they request routes and are given them based on seniority.
What I find interesting Buddy is a natural driver; better than even long term veterans. Many, many drivers seem to alternate stomping on the gas and brake but he has a much smoother driving style. I would want to ride with him every day even if I didn't like him just for that.
Last night a former coworker of mine came by the store she had heard about my hair. She is going to beauty school and wanted to see it. I showed it to her (I had it pulled back as I worked) and we talked about doing a henna vs. a chemical process. She really liked it and I took that as a serious compliment because this is what she does for a living. She said she would give me a free blow out some time.
So I may have found a hair dresser. Speaking of hair I am doing another henna treatment today as I have some roots coming in and I want to do an overall touch up. I will do another one about a week before I go see my parents. I have plenty of henna.
I used 150 grams of henna, about 2 cups hot water mixed with apple cider vinegar (it helps the color release) and a little bit of lemon juice. I'm going to let it "work" for about 6 hours and then apply it, leave it on for 4 hours. It's an all day thing but it has been worth it.
The cats are good, Biscuit was in the front window when I got home. I thought it was adorable.
That's it for now, I'm going to try to go back to bed for a while.
I have been busy.
I have a box of Mac and cheese at home. I think I will fix that for dinner.
I had no cash and didn't tell anyone. So I was very happy when a friend at work shoved something in my hand as she gave me a hug good bye.
It is not much by some standards but a lot more than I had!
I was on my last bus talking to the driver when another driver came by to chat. I gave him some candy and he did a double take, said a few things. I knew men liked my hair color. He also said he liked it down.
Interesting. Like anyone, I want to be attractive.
That means all my drivers will likely change. Including Buddy. That may be why he said goodbye.
Or he may come back. I will know September 2.
At any rate he does have my name and number. I'm not sorry about that.
I am friendly with the Dr Pepper vendors because I naturally feel a connection, I was a Dr Pepper vendor for 20 years, they provided my canned soda vendors, etc. A few days ago I was going to break. The 2 guys had not seen me in about a week, since I did the henna. I came around the corner and bumped into them. They both began exclaiming things like "Wow! Amazing!" and I fluffed my hair and grinned at them. One made a joke "Orange you glad" and I went to break.
I really have gotten more compliments in the last week than I have in my whole life.
Another interesting side note, the Team Leads decided they're not letting me go do the grocery zone now. They "need me too much at my job". They apparently had a conflict with the grocery manager about it; normally he is very friendly but he's been avoiding me now. On one occasion the two grocery team leads were talking in front of me saying "Wouldn't it be great if we could have Heather zone the whole department" and the other one said "Yeah" wistfully.
But I don't "work" grocery. I thought that was interesting. I did hear the other day the grocery coach (over a team lead) wouldn't let one guy go to lunch until it was almost time for him to go home, so I'm not in a rush to sign up for that. And I understand my boss.
Enough about work. Like I said last night I got up with plenty of time to myself before I have to go to work today. Four and a half hours.
I am debating washing my hair vs. just using conditioner on it. I will probably wash. Also shave my legs; that's not as urgent with our dress code of long pants but I like to be smooth. It also makes tomorrow morning, running around in my booty shorts, easier.
I don't plan to go anywhere this weekend the "money run low" and I have things to do at home. I bought some imported curry powder last year. I'm going to open it tonight after work and put a large pinch in a glass of water and drink it. Do I like the flavor? And, do I wake up with a headache tomorrow? I don't want to make curried lentils and get sick.
I try to experiment with a "new" food when I have a couple of days off so I can be sick one day and do my work the other day.
Next week I work 6 days in a row so I won't be able to do that.
If it works out I will make the curried lentils with the potato and then some more lentils with chili powder and tomato. I won't be able to go grocery shopping until Sept 1 which is going to be chaotic at the store. I don't get paid until Wednesday and I don't want to take my hand cart to work and go shopping later in the evening. Everything is picked over by then.
I don't like the Aussie shampoo. I don't feel like it got my hair clean or soft. I won't throw it out but I'm not using it again anytime soon. I was using Suave silk shampoo and rose conditioner before I colored my hair I will just go back to that.
I might get myself some clarifying conditioner to use to wash out the henna when I do it. I am still thinking about that.
That's it for now.
Work and commute were not bad. Ace got me home right on time. God bless him, I need to pray for him more.
I was at work on my last break looking at a photo of Cleo on my phone, thinking how much I love her, and what I could do to show that. And I concluded I had some very nice cans of "Special Kitty Mixed Grill" in the 5 ounce, I could give her one when I got home.
I thought that sounded like a splendid idea so I did that even before I took my shoes off and washed my hands.
I had a sweet older lady who needed a lot of help, give me a hug after we were done. That is the fun thing about working here.
And threw up in my bucket for a while, even the Pepto. Cleo got on me in bed and began licking my face and purring. It did the trick and here I am at work. Today is my long day, that is $100 in my pocket.
The headache came back around 11 but one of the team leads had brought donuts. I ate one and took some Excedrin.
I have also decided I am going to give the go ahead to my lady bus driving friend. I will tell her it is OK to put it out there I'm looking and a few basic things I am looking for like a love of God, hard worker, likes cats. I figure 40-60 is a good age range. Race unimportant.
Everyone is freaking out that Buddy's in his 30's but I don't think 40 is a big deal compared to my age.
If course I will pray on this. That's it for now.
She makes rude faces at me, screams at me, calls me stupid and cusses me out. She has a disability and a family member with health troubles so I have tried to be understanding.
That ended today. The next time she goes off on me I am having a quiet, polite, implacable, talk with her.
I think this year's motto could be "No more mouse!"
I have always had an unbalanced attitude towards food. Long term readers know why; I was starved as a baby and toddler.
I have always had the view I had to eat whenever I got a chance. That is shifting. I'm also focusing on quality foods as well.
I'm not even really thinking about it; it's the new view I guess.
God gives beauty for ashes.
Getting ready this morning. The henna helps oily hair so I only have to wash every other day. But I walk around in the heat sweating and I also have an active enough job I always wear short sleeves. So I use conditioner to wash my hair the other days. I did that today.
I drink a lot of crystal light type tea but I was out. I had made some brewed tea and drank that. I didn't eat anything. My hand is on the door to leave and I just hurled.
All over the wall and the floor, happily not on myself. I cleaned it up and ran out to the bus, which I caught.
Other than that an uneventful trip to work. I did tell the drivers they would not see me for a while so they won't look.
Work should be OK. I brought spaghetti for lunch.
The bus before Buddy broke down so his was packed. There was a guy standing right up by Buddy so I couldn't talk to him for a while, but a nice older (maybe 60?) man moved his stuff so I could sit with him. I'm not the only one who does a threat assessment before deciding to share my seat and I'm exactly what I appear to be, a tired retail worker. I thanked him and gave him a bag of candy. I noticed Buddy seemed a little agitated he kept rubbing his face as I talked to the other guy. It was very light stuff I talked about cats and what they like to eat, how Bubba was a thief but such a good, good, cat. The guy next to me, and the guy by Buddy, got off after about 10 minutes.
He stopped rubbing his face and acting restless and we started talking.
I have lived in enough bad neighborhoods to know what to carry on my person vs what I carry in my bag. Bag has things like my safety vest and silverware for work. Lunch bag has my empty containers from lunch, things like that. If either is stolen I'd be mad about losing the bag (they are both purple) but I could just hop on Amazon and get another.
I don't have any cash and I don't carry my wallet, just my keys, and those are in my pocket.
So, aside from the guy who assaulted me there are also some "bad" kids who get on the bus at about the halfway point. They are very rowdy and get into shoving matches, etc., they are most remarkable for screaming conversation at each other in Spanish as they travel.
Buddy does not divulge it but he's bilingual. And even then if someone asks him a question in Spanish he will answer in English. Ron would say he 'White Identifies". But he's fluent I'd bet.
So anyways yesterday 3 of the "bad" kids got on the bus. I was sitting in the frontmosst passenger seat with my backpack next to me, there was a third seat free.
The kids got one,, one directed another to go sit next to me. When I got off the bus I saw one of my zippers was open so he was going through the bag. I hope he enjoyed the tampons. I carry them because I keep hearing you just don't know at this age.
The other two stood up front in front of me, talking. One showed the other an ankle monitor and then replied "Something - pistola" when asked about it. A pistola is a gun. I'm not going to tell my Dad about this one but I did tell my aunt in a text.
So one's a thief and the other is a gun toter. It really is the crazy train and I venture the whole group is going to end up in prison one day.
When they got off I said "Pistola, huh?" and Buddy went "What?" I told him and he laughed. We have that in common, we laugh at that kind of thing.
It was nice to see him. I did tell him I'd be working different hours next week. He asked if it was permanent or was I coming back and I said I was coming back, in two weeks.
When I got off I said "Be safe, see you in 2 weeks!" and he said "Bye Heather". That's the first time he's called me by name. fdWhen
But a friend from work offered me a ride home today. It is a heat emergency basically although I have been fine and brought plenty of bottled water. I told her no thanks I really like the bus driver. She laughed and gave me an attagirl.
Short version I am more and more impressed the more time I spend with him. He has a fantastic work ethic and I find him very attractive.
I told him he wouldn't see me next week and he asked was it just the week or permanent. I told him just the week.
When I got off I said "See you in 2 weeks" and he said "Bye Heather" which is the first time he's called me by my name.
Waiting on my last bus to go home.
This is a pretty good description.
https://swaay.com/how-post-traumatic-growth-helped-me-heal-following-sexual-assault
I don't think having my ponytail cut off constitutes a sexual assault but it describes the changes I've made.
Really, Buddy is incidental in all that although he provides a convenient and easily accepted explanation.
https://swaay.com/how-post-traumatic-growth-helped-me-heal-following-sexual-assault
Even the security guard likes my hair. I am definitely keeping it.
It should be an interesting day my boss is here. She likes a little candy now and then so I brought some.
I will put the morning selfie up when I get home
I made a big mistake today. I forgot to feed the cats! They will be livid.
Other than that hoping for a good day.
It is official, I have gotten more compliments in the last week than I have in my life!
Work was OK I thought it was interesting when another department needed someone for the job they came and "stole" me for it. Out of dozens of associates in the store...I told them I was flattered they had picked me. And I did it right.
When I got to the bus stop I heard a young black man yelling "hey". I was dumb enough to look, he was hanging out the back car window and said "Screw this and screw that, bitch". I just started at him, the light changed, he left.
I find it interesting the devil attacks me via young black men. When I was assaulted, when I was mugged, when I was shot in the leg with a pellet gun, my house robbed - all young black men. What is funny; the skinheads consider me a "race traitor" because I married a black man.
But they are also part of my ministry and I have given many, many, Bibles to young black men in marginal neighborhoods. And I pray for them daily. So I'm not hating I just find it sad.
I left carrying my lunch bag. I had some spaghetti for Buddy and also a small container of lentils. When he pulled up he didn't say a word or smile so I thought what's up? Then he said he didn't recognize me because of the hair so I thought "He's the one person in Houston who hates it". I gave him the food and he said it was "too much" I was "too nice' and he only wanted candy from now on.
I couldn't help but wonder if it was a nice way to say he didn't like my cooking! He didn't seem very chatty so I respected that. I didn't mention getting cussed out but I did ask him which neighborhood, Acres Homes or Greenspoint, would be better suited to a Bible Handout and he said Acres Homes. Then he went silent again until I got off.
As I'm walking off the bus he says "By the way I like your hair".
He couldn't say that when I got on?! I handed out candy at the transit center until I ran out (I saved a bag for my home bus) and went home.
We are having extreme heat warnings. But I was OK walking home.
For me, riding the bus and doing Bible Handouts it is a fine line between hydrating and having to run to the bathroom. But I seemed to do OK.
I didn't sleep well at all, got up and cooked some bok choi and kale in the wok with some olive oil, papper, and lemon. I can have that with a chicken thigh or pork chop for lunch.
That's it for now!
That says they have clinically proven up to 25% of coma patients have thinking brain activity.
It validated what God put in my heart after Ron's accident. That he would come back but it would take a while. So I fought for him. With the ethics committee. With the doctors, nurses, respiratory techs. With his family.
And he came back but it was not the ending I'd hoped. That is sad but I feel validated knowing I did the right thing.
Everyone is crazy about my hair. I'm glad I did it! No more mouse!
It should be pretty quiet. I bought myself a russet potato to put in the lentils and a sweet potato to serve with the chicken or pork chops. I plan to cut it into 3-4 ounce sections and roast it. Then I can just have a section.
I plan to fix the stir fry when I get home. That chicken marinated all night and most of today.
I can't remember if I have butter I am pretty sure I had to throw it out after the storm. I do have olive oil though.
I fell asleep pretty normally, woke up a few times. When I woke up around midnight I turned on the dryer. I didn't want to have the dryer and the AC going at the same time yesterday.
After Ron died I would wake up every day and remember he was dead. It was the most ghastly thing; and it happened every day. It was worse than finding him dead; it's like he died again every morning. This went on for months.
It happened again today. It is very depressing.
I gave my name to Buddy knowing he might find the blog. I don't want him reading this I want to be "over" Ron. But my parents tell me death is something you get through, you don't get over it, and something like this is very common.
And 99% of the time I feel like I'm ready to move on.
I did 9 containers of spaghetti. A pot of curried lentils. 15 pork chops. I got the value pack they were only $5 and I love a nice boneless thin cut pork chop. I cooked 5 of the chicken thighs with Creole Seasoning (I like the orange brand). I inadvertently blackened them but they taste good. I prepped (cubed and marinated) the stir fry chicken I can do that tomorrow.
The house smells like food. I just think the various food smells together are probably not a good fit so I lit some incense.
My feet hurt - when I'm home I'm always barefoot. I was talking to Buddy about that - I don't care what a guest does - leave the shoes on or off, doesn't matter. But for me those shoes are coming off the second I walk in the door because I don't like confined feet.
He agreed, very emphatically. I thought that was interesting.
I had to adjust it a bit but I'm happy
Curried Lentils
2t Jamaican curry powder (I used the Badia one)
1/2 t red pepper flakes
Handful chopped onion
1/2 t salt
2 T minced fresh ginger or 1 t dried
1 cup brown lentils (soak for a few hours before and pour off the water)
3 cups water
A cubed potato would have been really good in there.
Mix, cook until tender and desired thickness (I like my lentils very thick but I think a lot prefer them soupy, it's your curry, do what pleases you).
It made 3 and a half cups cooked for me.
I made the spaghetti, over 8 servings, got that put up. I cleaned up the kitchen and laid down for a little bit with Biscuit.
I'd put the lentils on to soak this morning so I poured off the liquid. Yes, everyone says you don't need to soak lentils especially as mine were fresh but it eliminates the gas factor. I had planned to cook them with a small can of tomato sauce, a little red pepper, some chili powder.
The chili powder was completely stale so I threw it out. And as a lot of cooking escapades go found me digging around in my spice cabinet. I had a nice jar of Jamaican curry that is good for 3 years yet. I opened it and it smelled very perky.
I had already put a little salt and red pepper into the pot so I added a teaspoon of the curry, a handful of chopped onions, and after some deliberation, a tablespoon of minced fresh ginger. I got that boiling and I added the lentils and covered it. We will see how it turns out.
Once the lentils are done I need to cook up the chicken thighs and pork chops. I'm not done yet!
He likes it when I cook for him and I enjoy having an audience.
I got some advice a while back on how to cook Italian sausage properly. I was told cook it over low heat in a skillet and serve it on top of the sauce.
Like this:
Maybe it's just me but it looks like a severed penis? Not that I have seen one in a while...I'm not serving it to anyone. I'm making my own meals that's fine but not to share with anyone, particularly a man I like.
So I'm slicing his up and mixing it in.
I have been taking the antidepressant for 15 years now. I have been taking the allergy pill, off and on, for a few years.
I thought I had taken them together in the past but apparently not. I got really, really sick and had to go back to bed.
Biscuit, the Original Kitty, went with me and laid down next to me.
It derails my plans for the day but at least it was today and not tomorrow which would have been catastrophic.
When I was a kid I got really sick at least once every winter. I would have a terrible fever, no appetite, etc. Mom always talks about me lying in bed with the wet washcloth on my head, how she'd get to the point of taking me to the ER, find me out of bed with my head in the fridge eating everything I could find. Every time, she said.
As I got older I could take adult remedies and I was always impressed with the cold medicine. The antihistamine would knock me out for hours. I recently figured it was chlorpheniramine maleate. Yesterday I found some cold medicine that had that in it. I still have some congestion and coughing due to the allergies. And it had "the good stuff". Sleep is always an issue for me so I took it when I went to bed.
I slept a little better, and woke up very thirsty, but not enough I'd repeat it. Oh, well. I need to start working out again. I am very active 12-17K steps every day but I think a formal workout in addition would help me sleep better. If I recollect I slept great when I did work out often.
I am finishing up the laundry today, then cooking for meal prep. I have pork chops, chicken thighs, spaghetti, etc.
I also changed the sheets which should help the allergies significantly.
I can handle having a stalker. Actually my first boyfriend found me in Houston somehow and was sending letters to the house asking to move in. He knew we had 2 bedrooms he had done his research. I told him no, leave us alone, and he did. Last I heard he was homeless.
So I have a female stalker who actively harasses me and tries to cause trouble. She follows the blog and leaves filthy, obscene, and hateful messages if I open comments. She has made it clear she's going to try to ruin the life of any man who loves me.
Who's going to sign up for that, I have to wonder. But I have to TELL him before it gets serious.
Like I said I think I'll do alright. No one knows what I do for a living (whatever my boss tells me LOL). I work at Walmart but no one knows which one. I have spoken to people at work about giving out my information and why. I don't name the bus routes I take or the transit center. I have done what I can. Unfortunately my full name, Facebook, and address are out there as well.
Now I think a nice guy might sign up for a former battered wife and those issues. I might even find a guy who can deal with the mood disorder. The disability. But a stalker on top of that? We couldn't even put pictures on Facebook!
Only God knows the man for that. Sad thing I would run like hell.
And I have to be careful. Another woman in my circle was murdered - domestic violence. I don't need that in my life.
Only God can handle my love life!
I have been cleaning and organizing the house like I aim to do on my day off. I had a very disturbing realization.
I've known for a while, deep down, I think. But I found something from my "Secret pal" and I had the horrifying realization she is probably my stalker. The timing lines up, lots of gifts until I mention a man in my life last year (who was after my mango-chili lollipops).
Pretty undeniable and it made me very uncomfortable.
I'm going to drop this on that.
I came at the store from a different angle today and I saw a gathering of homeless people on the side of the building basically drinking and being rowdy. And I'm pushing my hand cart. I'm wearing shorts that come about 3 inches over my knee so I consider very modest but not by Middle Eastern standards, wearing a red tshirt and sneakers pushing "my buggy" with flaming orange hair.
The owner came out and asked if he could help - before I even got to the door. I said "Yes!" I patted my head "I LOVE YOUR HENNA I want to buy more! And some sandalwood soap!" He smiled. "I'll put my cart over here" (obscure corner). He held the door for me and I went in. He said something in his native language to his wife that ended in "Henna". I went to the right location and picked it all up in about 30 seconds, paid and was out of there in 2 minutes.
That's a rough spot to have a business! I have gotten a very hard NO on any sort of candy or evangelism even though I have some Arabic tracts, I respect that. That's what America is built on, mutual respect.
I went to the grocery store and my favorite cashier almost had a heart attack when she saw me, she put her hand on her chest and gaped at me for a good 10 seconds, started laughing, and said she loved it. I am getting that a lot, actually. I got more candy and ziplocks, also found some pork chops (good thing I went to the stores in that order!). I do love a good pork chop in my iron skillet. I showed her a box of the hair color and told her how I did it.
By the way, hair color day I had to use my thick rubber gloves because I couldn't find the disposable ones. I found them today I couldn't believe I missed them.
I plan to take a nap and organize my hair stuff, the kitchen, do dishes and maybe do the floor.
That's it for now.
And some leave in hair product I found in my "shampoo and stuff" bucket last night.
I wanted to try the hair stuff for a few hours before I actually go out in public. It could be a migraine trigger, it might do strange and awful things to my hair, but so far I like it.
I spent most of yesterday mad at Ron for being so insecure. He just had to tear me down anytime someone said I looked good, had lost weight, etc. It is horrible.
And there I am in Cosmetics yesterday looking at lipstick and I can't remember the last time I bought lipstick. 2003 I think, for my wedding? And then the makeup bag got packed in the car and driven to the venue when I was in the shower and they had to use my great-aunt's stuff to make me up.
I was professionally made up in the mid 2000's as a publicity thing for the Blood Center as Ron was a recipient and I was a donor. They liked what I wrote about giving back and how someone gave me more time with my husband, so they had us come downtown for a photo shoot and I assume used the stills for publicity. I never saw them though but they did send me the best shots.
Ron was conflicted. On the one hand he didn't want me getting attention but on the other he wanted to be on a billboard or whatever. So I was pretty awkward picking this up so it took them a while to get a good shot.
They didn't like the glasses. My parents loved the photo but I didn't feel it really looked like me. Interesting note they put makeup on me (she was a professional) but they didn't on Ron, I think they wanted his scars visible.
But I am very happy with both lipsticks, The red is more of a matte and the purple is a glossy one. I like them both.
I don't think I'm going to wear any other makeup at least the way my life is right now spending time outside in the summer.
A matte, cherry red and a "high shine" purple.
So far I like the red best but I will play with them this weekend.
The nice thing lipstick will stay put when just about any other makeup will melt off at a bus stop in the Houston summer.
Here's the purple
Lately I have been smelling beeswax salve on people.
I find it upsetting. Ron didn't believe I could make it back in 2002 so I did. It has a distinct scent. He didn't like it
I did find it really helped the scarring - he had terrible road rash all over from being dragged. I did an experiment one side (left) got the salve the right side did not. And it was a noticeable difference.
But it's not a good association basically fear and pain.
So I have to watch that.
In my devotional this morning.
I'm going to think about that today.
Henna color develops over a couple of days, especially if you don't wash it with shampoo for 48 hours. I have been "washing" my hair with conditioner and can get away with this as the henna makes my scalp less oily as well.
It has been interesting seeing the reactions to my hair. Almost everyone loves it but one woman said I "Looked like Spotty" which I find hysterical.
My boss is having a hard time with some personal issues I can't divulge. If you pray she could use it.
3 hours to go when I get back.
I may get into it later. Suffice to say it was rough.
I called in a compliment for the driver (not Buddy) the second I got off at work. It only took 4 minutes.
Work has been pretty busy and we're short staffed. .
It will oxidize and become darker over the next day or so.
I used conditioner on it, good idea as it is much softer than it normally is after a henna treatment (very drying but you can't use oils during the treatment or it won't take).
At least one more photo tomorrow.
But I was thinking tonight about something, how angry Ron would get whenever I got a compliment. He wanted me to look good, but not too good.
I'm not talking about dressing provocatively I really only did that for him when we were dating.
But if someone gave me a compliment when we were out he would start tearing me down verbally the minute we were alone. I didn't put it together until tonight, not that long ago.
He would get absolutely purple if someone noticed I was losing weight and said something nice about it. He would say things like "You are fat on the inside" etc. "You're just going to gain it back" he said that one more times than I can count.
One thing I realized talking to Buddy recently I would love to have a workout partner, go to the gym together, egg each other on, motivate each other, encourage good food habits. Maybe get him (whoever he would be) signed up for Carb manager too and we could look at each other's food logs...if that isn't too creepy.
But a team mate not someone with a scourge.
And it is OK to look good, to take care of myself. God wants me to present myself in a good, modest, way. He wants me to have fun with my appearance.
Does that mean I'm going to wear makeup? Probably not. I do have to walk around and wait outside in the humid Houston summers that's going to kill pretty much any makeup except maybe a tinted lip balm.
But the world's not going to end if I do.
I use a Suave shampoo that leaves stuff in my hair (Silk something) and a rose conditioner. I like what they do and the fragrance from the conditioner is nice too. So I did that this morning.
I went out in the hot sun I think I was out in it for over an hour just waiting on buses, walking to and from the house. I was sweating I could feel it in my scalp.
The henna pages say clean hair so I washed it with clarifying shampoo. Then air dry (now).
I have always had a hair dryer but Ron always ended up using it to defrost the freezer at work, because I never used it myself. I think air drying is better for my hair anyway so I try to do that if at all possible.
Once it's dry I glop on the henna paste, wrap my head in plastic, put on my shower cap, and let it sit for 3-4 hours. Then I rinse it out in the shower using conditioner to "help".
The secret is not using shampoo for 2 days. My hair is pretty oily even at my age so I will use conditioner to "wash" it the next couple days. That should keep it presentable.
It will be very orange at first but will mature to a red in a few days. That's one reason I'm doing it today.
YES I am vain enough I want to look "my best" when I see Buddy. Of course he may hate it. I don't know. If I had a way to contact him I would have asked his opinion.
My total cost is about $3.50 for supplies and a few hours of time. But women at work tell me getting braids done can be an all day event as well so I don't feel bad.
I have NO idea what I'm doing for dinner.
I love Houston for many reasons. We have such an amazing, close-knit, mix of cultures you never know what you will find. I bought my stuff today at an import store. It has a delicious taco truck in the parking lot. That's just how we roll in H-town.
I got a jar of Mango Chutney. I love that stuff. Haven't had it in a long, long, time.
I also got a nice bar of sandalwood soap because I have been wanting some.
And of course I got this:
I went to the grocery store, got vegetables, a little fruit, some boneless skinless chicken thighs, frozen vegetables, etc.
Then I came home. The driver who brought me home is the escapee from the "Crazy Train" route she was the one who was just so aggravated and hated the route so, so much.
Buddy seems to take the angle I do with humor "You won't believe what they did today". Anyway I hope Buddy likes red hair.
So I told her about the guy trying to put his head in my lap Monday night, she gave a grim nod. She's not going back! She asked if I had far to walk and I told her a way, but that was OK because I didn't want my cats anywhere near a busy street. She agreed.
I came home, put the groceries away, and got the henna started. My technique I mix the henna with a little lemon juice and about equal parts apple cider vinegar and boiling water, mix well, let sit for some hours, apply, let sit a couple more hours, and rinse out with conditioner.
I have a lot of gray so it will be a mix of orange (on the gray) and red. I decided to go ahead and to it tonight.
Here's how it looked about 10 years ago.
They're going to FLIP at work.
Buddy? Who knows.
https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=PRbVlQfPdRI&si=-WBwlTKDusmjPz3_
I was not happy in my marriage. Ron treated me abysmally both before and after his accident. I wanted to leave him but he had been sneaky getting me to quit my job, work for him for a pittance, he controlled all the money (wouldn't even put me on his checking account), etc. So I had no resources to get out. And no job history because he would not, or his friends in the program, have given me a good reference. Before he got really sick, when the drinking was bad and he was keeping me up all night verbally abusing me and screaming invective half the night - I took it to God.
God made it VERY clear I was to treat Ron as the wife is supposed to treat the unbelieving husband in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 (don't leave him but if he left I was free, but if he wanted to remain married to me I "had" to stay). I didn't like that one bit but another thing God let me know "It wouldn't be long" I didn't understand that until March 6 2021, the day he died.
There's a couple of passages in the Bible relevant for a widow.
One says younger widows should remarry (1 Timothy 5:14)Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.
1 Corinthians Chapter 7 is where I'm going, though:
8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
I used to think he meant lust but I am starting to think he meant loneliness. The desire to have someone share your life, to walk with you, to help you up when you're having a hard time, someone to spoil and snuggle and all that good stuff.
I remind myself Jesus loves me a lot more than any man ever could but it remains.
Of course nothing is perfect. I have baggage. I wonder if anyone's going to be OK with that. Maybe, maybe not. I'm sure he'll have issues as well.
I know events in my life the last couple years, including an incredibly violent act perpetrated last year on someone I knew; the assault on me this year, my Dad's severe illnesses... it's got me thinking I want someone at my side when the rain comes.
Is that what GOD wants, though? I'm not sure.
I do have to wonder if He would have allowed this longing to grow if it was not His will?
I just don't know.
Than to be treated badly.
Earlier this year at work there was a very friendly and attentive guy at work. Employees know where to find me I can say that much. He was making a point of coming by to talk and eventually get a hug on his way into work. And he asked if I was single, then for my number which I gave him. I just started feeling SICK about 10 seconds after he walked off but it was too late.
And when he texted it was along the lines of you're hot, I love you, let's hook up. It was pretty awful explaining it was way too soon for any of that and I'm born again and not having sex until I get married. I finally said I think this is a bad idea and blocked him.
He ended up leaving the store not sure if he was fired or quit.
I got off easy that could have gone really bad. I already have one stalker. I got off easy.
I have given my number to one trusted man. Either he will call or he won't. I would be curious if someone gave me their number and would want to do some investigating. So I gave him my first and last name as well so he can if he wants. He may read this very post.
He did mention the age difference so I think that's the issue. And I would rather find out that's an issue when we are still at the "good to see you" stage and not more involved. I have baggage. That will have to come up with any man but I don't think I need to share that at this point.
I honestly don't know my odds of finding anyone to be honest. Jesus may come back so soon it won't matter anyway.
That's it for now; if I date it is going to be a good, quality, guy. I won't settle.
Good times with the cats!
Cleo got on me too but it was dark out and I couldn't figure out the flash without my glasses.
I plan to clean out the fridge and throw out all the food that didn't work (turkey spaghetti) so I will be ready to cook tomorrow.
I don't have much else planned. Basically I have 4 days off in the next week.
Work was busy.
My boss wants me to do whatever she asks and I've told her I will "as long as it's within the 10 commandments" she laughed and said she could manage that. So occasionally, and more often lately, they have me working "other" jobs in addition to my primary. They had me do that this morning. The day shift is happy to have the help; they mentioned that to the night people.
The night people tend to be more insular and are not above back stabbing and sabotage if they think you are making them look bad; happened today. I don't care, I did everything I was asked.
But the one employee (not a manager) was so abusive I practically FLED.
I bought myself a $1 frozen microwave pizza which I just had for dinner, it was not bad with a few drops of hot sauce and some extra cheese. I like to doctor things like that.
Many years ago I read what I consider to be one of the best books on communication, right after "How to Win Friends and Influence People". "Contact: the First Four Minutes" and it basically said the first 4 minutes of any interaction set the tone for the whole day.
So, say Buddy pulls up and opens the door, he smiles at me, I get on. I'm snarling and whining about backstabbers. What kind of impression is that going to make? Not a good one.
So I got on positive "Thank God for getting me out of here it is so good to see you, how have you been?" and later on I mentioned the backstabbers in passing. We had a good talk, hardly anyone on the bus.
The early bus was there when I crossed the street but when she saw me she started laughing, waved, and left. I think Buddy and I - people know, they're not stupid. I try not to talk about him to other drivers because that's his business too. They know there is something, a spark at least on my side, and I am happy to wait in the hot sun for a while if it means I get to see him. And she finds that cute. So she has figured it out if no one else, that I am interested.
I can't speak for him, the only thing he said in that vein today 'Not everyone is nice like you are". Anyway last time I mentioned I waited, in passing, but I did not today. She can tell him if she wants. She may tease him about it, but let it come from someone else.
I have a stalker and I do not want to BE one. For instance, I know where he will be tomorrow but I'm not going to find him. That, to me, would be creepy. Unless I were invited.
I told him I had decided to go get pupusas on my day off, after I got paid. He said "Pupusas, huh?" and I said yes, I had narrowed it down to a food truck or a gas station, and where one was on the bus. He asked about my days off (asked a couple times actually) and I told him. He asked what I had planned tomorrow and I told him basically sleep late (7ish, I said) with the cats and he laughed.
He picked up a mentally ill homeless guy who tried to sit right next to me (on a nearly empty bus) and then attempted to put his head in my lap as Buddy laughed. I got up VERY quickly and stood up as close to Buddy (about 4 feet) as possible. I had my eye on that guy the whole time.
We got to the transit center and I thought 'I'm free" and I get off and go to my homebase bus stop. And there's an oddball white guy there, a little older than me, with the face of a bully.
Years ago I had to work with someone who was a bully, he had been "big man on campus" in college and the work place and he was used to getting his way. At one point he screamed curses at me and threw me into a wall and got away with it. So I was watching this guy because I got the same "hit" and I trust my gut.
And, sure enough, he got up (he had been sitting) and followed me around for about 20 minutes. Everywhere I went he would drift over, staring intently at my face. I kept moving away, keeping him at least 12 feet away. He finally gave up and sat down but unfortunately he and his trash bag got on my home base bus. He kept watching me.
It was bad enough I almost took his photo but I thought he didn't seem very stable and he might act out if I did that. But I was alert. Happily he got off before I did, I was worried about him following me home but he did not.
I got off, verified I was alone, and walked home.
That's it for now!
He has my number if he wants to call.
