I'm tired and still have 3 hours to go.
I am thinking what I would need to restart low carb. I have a lot of issues with food the main one being I didn't get enough when I was small. I also have anxiety about going hungry, etc. Another issue is meal prep and cleanup.
I am really glad I am doing my shopping after work. I will be so tired I won't want to spend anything.
But I am thinking about the cats, and how God loves me. Good topics to think about.
My adoptive Mom texted me Dad has a cold, I'm a little worried about him. That's it for now.
6 comments:
Maybe you can do what I do, manage your carbs. I only eat 1 meal with carbs and at 65, I am still able to lose weight. I even sit at a desk job. Yesterday for example, Bacon and eggs for breakfast, Deli chicken for lunch, spaghetti for dinner. I eat lots of nuts and cheese for snacks.
You were losing weight by not doing low carb, which you said you hate. Your issue is you can only focus on one thing and that thing you obsess over. When you obsessed about Beau you stopped eating well, when you obsessed about the bible handouts you stopped obsessing about Beau...just your personality.
I have a lot of issues with food. To be blunt I was starved for a couple years as a toddler. Not something I like to think about. Then there were neutral foods/forbidden foods growing up. Not really a this is what keeps you alive perspective.
I have been avoiding working on that as it is probably more painful than my time with Ron. I mean, what mother doesn't feed her baby? One she planned?
What father doesn't realize his wife isn't feeding their baby either? Not to mention what kind of loving god allows a baby to starve?
Dad's thing was "I fed you when I got home" he was utterly overwhelmed caring for a bipolar, alcoholic, wife; teenage stepdaughter (who got into a cult); and infant.
God? It goes under the earthquake victim category. People knew about this. What were they going to do? Were they going to help out as much as possible like one neighbor did? She was very into health food I remember her whole wheat bread and fresh peanut butter like it was yesterday, very fond memories of her. My Daycare - once I turned 2 Dad could enroll me. They took very good care of me some nights I probably didn't want to go home.
And I am sure some knew I was suffering and did nothing; they will answer one day. But I've never blamed Dad, when he talks about these times I can hear the burden in his voice.
But eventually child services caught up with my mother and she lost custody. Dad knew nothing about child nutrition and has frankly said he was just trying to keep me alive day to day (a lot of scrambled eggs, milk, etc) until he remarried.
The same GOD who died for you.
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