This is probably better off on it's own

 One day Ron was acting like an abusive drunk and it hit me like a ton of bricks that he had as much as TOLD me, when we were dating.  I didn't have anyone to discuss this with as it was all very forbidden but I think any woman I would have run this by would have locked me in my room.  But Ron was telling me what I wanted to hear, that I was "fine", I was "normal", and I was a victim.  He would save me, he assured me, and I wanted to believe it.  And, to his credit, I believe he did want good things for me.  

So, some stories he told me: 

• He had hit his most recent ex on more than one occasion "after she attacked me", that he had thrown her off of him at one point, she went flying across the room and broke her wrist I believe.  But it was her fault because she attacked him "Because of something I said".  Knowing his verbal abuse now I can only imagine what he was saying.  
• When she got pregnant (she was sleeping with a couple guys at the time, including Ron) he told her he wouldn't support her if she had the baby and "No one wants a [racial slur] baby anyway, who's going to love a child like that?"  Ron, himself, being a [racial slur], acted like he was a great guy because he paid for the abortion.  
• That he drank to a blackout after she admitted she cheated on him, he "bit her nose" and she left, but came back.  
• She got a restraining order when she left him, he broke it, and they were set to "violate" him but the judge determined he had not been properly served because he was blind.  He was warned not to contact them (she ran off with his best friend) and he didn't.  
• The girl before that he admitted to beating her "because she cringed a lot".  He said he wouldn't do that with me as long as I didn't act as if he would.  
• That he had binge drinking blackouts, he called them fugue states which he thought sounded better.  
• That he had a pot problem, spending $300 a month (back in the 80's so $1,117 now) on pot.  
• He also admitted he spent $1000 on cocaine in one weekend "just to see what it was like, and I never bought it again"  Back then, so about $3,720 

He told me all this the first month I met him.  I was young, I was in love, in lust, and I had fetal alcohol which can impact my judgement.  One of these signs now I would run like hell.  

There is more but I will not share it.