Battling a mild to moderate depression. The store is cold as well.
They had a little of the Mr Beast chocolate left so I bought some. My second driver today ate one at a red light and raved about it for blocks.
Everyone who has eaten the chocolate has raved about it. It's organic and limited ingredient I am sure it's fantastic. I am also certain I would get an epic migraine if I ate any.
I am going to do some musing on weight issues. Something in my head says losing to a healthy weight means dating again which, right now, I don't want. I am not ready to open my life like that. I also have big secrets - some you know, some you don't - which, in my opinion, would run anyone off. So why fall for someone just to get crushed by rejection?
But plenty of men like a bigger woman so weight is no protection.
Clutter in the house also keeps people out. It's not logical I know
Walmart offers free online counseling I believe. I will look into that when I upgrade my computer.
I had a precious cuddle with all the cats this morning during my God Time. I will focus on that.
8 comments:
So you are trying to stay fat so you don't force yourself to date? Get some accountability girl and realize you are an adult woman and can decide to date or not to date. You are pretty obsessed over it though so clearly that is in line with your all or nothing behavior when you get focused on something and stay focused until you drop it and move on to your next obsession. Case in point when you were losing weight and looking good and then got obsessed with Beau and pretty soon the whole weight loss thing went out the window when he left. Then you got focused again on bible hand outs and now it is back to giving employees food again and knitting.
I am an all or nothing person; which is a mixed blessing. It served Ron well.
I went off plan because I realized I made an ass out of myself over Beau and I didn't want a repeat.
I started the Bible Handouts again in April he was still around. There was a tragic death and it got me thinking what I was doing with my life and how I had to get back on the median if I wanted to sleep at night.
Knitting is just the spring mania everyone with this illness gets. It may stick around it may not. I'm not worried.
I buy treats for my coworkers now and then I may not have discussed it much but I have determined the bag of Snickers is the most popular. But $3 a pound chocolate was too good to pass up and they seemed to get at least $3's enjoyment out of it. The drivers are crazy for it. So the extra chocolate has gone in the fridge for them.
Drivers are honestly more fun. They don't expect it, not really - especially the new ones. On occasion they get very emotional. I never see that at work. It's "Oh whatcha got"
But I left half a bag of chocolate with a receipt taped to it in our department's hiding place last night and found an empty bag this morning. Someone found it. Hahaha.
Do you ever do things just for yourself other than getting vaccines? Yoyo dieing and being obese are both hard on your body. ✋️ raised, I've finally figured out the low carb eating that works for me, only carbs for 1 meal. Just enough my hair doesn't fall out and low enough to lose weight. I'm down a plant size since January 1.
Remember all the accountability and support we found on lowcarbfriends.com?
https://forum.lowcarber.org/forumdisplay.php?f=98
"I went off plan because I realized I made an ass out of myself over Beau and I didn't want a repeat. "
Yes you were making an ass out of yourself over Beau even when you were told by many posters he was not interested in you and was just getting off on flirting with you because of your reactions.
But to purposely STOP losing weight and doing something good for yourself over a man is just plain ridiculous. It shows that whoever you end up with that you will not be string enough to stand up for yourself and hold your own in a relationship, which means your chances of being with another abuser are VERY high.
Big secrets we don't know about. I can only imagine what they are.....
Well one I don't care if you know at one point Ron said we had to have an open relationship. We weren't even married. He went off and cheated. I had nowhere else to go. It was awful. That's not one of the big ones though.
God forgives us but we struggle to forgive ourselves.
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