Monday evening

 I got my shower and had a pretty good nap once my hair dried.  I want to like the Garnier sleek and shine leave in treatment but it just doesn't seem to DO anything for my hair.  I suspect a shampoo + conditioner pairing would work better for me.  I didn't throw it out, it may have some use in the summer, but I won't buy another.  

I had 3-4 cats in my bed during the nap which is a good nap.  Things I shouldn't have done today: check Nextdoor very depressing.  Check the mail with a begging letter from an agency asking for funds to buy groceries for people affected by COVID, complete with tragic detail of young starving pregnant lady.  Watch NCIS LA which is also depressing.  

I put on some Tea Rose perfume.  My grandmother wore it (not this bottle) and I bought mine about 20 years ago.  Ron made deprecating remarks about it so I didn't wear it much around him.  I can't wear it around my aunt as it is a trigger for memories.  I can wear it at home on my day off, but I need to get a pin and maybe some rubbing alcohol to clean out the spray head.  I like it a lot.  

The cats have been very affectionate today which is lovely.  They make life better every day.  I finished the laundry I was able to combine it all in one load which is great.  I need to figure out dinner in a bit.  I could try something new and see how that goes, if it causes a problem it will be on my day off.  Or I may go with something reliable.  I did have my collagen this morning so that's 20 grams of protein on board.  I try to get at least 50 grams of protein a day.  I think I'll have the pulled pork dinner, I got 2 and the first was OK but not memorable, and it clear up some room in the freezer.  I have a really tiny freezer space.  The fridge used to have an ice maker but that went some years ago.  Ron spent a lot of money trying to fix it only to find he couldn't.  But the apparatus is still there.  That said the thing is like 20 years old (fridge) and still ICY cold.  I am not inclined to replace that and I told Ron as much more than once.  

I am listening to praise and worship music, have, a lot, lately and I find that helpful to overall mood and perspective.  It was cold (for me) and gloomy today so I had to battle that.  I do like the tree, which you saw, and how I did Ron up.  I have a mauve silk scarf I am going to drape around the urn for Valentine's day.  I'm not going to venerate him or anything but I like doing up the urn.  It looks much more festive now and one thing that is CERTAIN Ron is very festive up in Heaven.  

My aunt and I are planning a road trip.  If you know my last name (bad OPSEC on my part) there is a town with the same name.  So we plan to visit.  Get some local cuisine and take some photos.  There is also a college football player who is excellent and also has my last name.  He is very black.  😂  I am not, but we are probably third or fourth cousins because it is not a common name.  I have toyed with the idea of getting a jersey but they are not cheap.  Maybe if he goes pro.  That would be cool.  If he does I will root for whatever team that is as the Texans are not doing much lately.  

My Dad taught me about football we used to watch.  Ron would listen to the game on talk radio they did very good narration for him.  So he would play the game aloud on the radio as I had the TV on mute.  It worked very well.  But we got out of that after the accident, I think he had trouble following the game.  I don't seek out football but they do have it on the TV at work often when I work certain days of the week, so I can't miss it.  Anyway I would root for "his" team not the Texans.  The Texans wouldn't miss me.  That said maybe he will go to the Texans.  

I do find it sad how they have all the information you need to gamble, I don't understand that stuff like point spreads and over under.  I don't think it is ethical for the broadcaster to do that, it's like telling someone how to shoot up.  People get easily ADDICTED to gambling just like they do sex (I believe that is real and may or may not have seen that with Ron), smoking, hard drugs, pain pills, etc.  Ron, love him to bits, but he had a classically addictive personality.  And with addiction you lose everything.  Ron's drinking cost him years off his life even the Medical Examiner said so.  I am at very high risk of addiction so I try to avoid all of it.  But I'm going into life knowing this so I think I have a leg up on others who don't.  

And Biscuit is hogging the entire couch.  

I guess I am eating somewhere else for dinner.  A couple of things to note: extra cat food on hand.  Red binder has prayer notes.  Devotional on top of my tablet case (tablet has all Bible stuff on it).  Cat treats lower left.  I made the afghan 25 years ago.  Lots of junk on kitchen table.  I need to get out of that habit if I want to remarry because he will want to eat at the table like a normal man.  

That's it for now.