Discouraged and depressed.
We had planned, yesterday, by mutual agreement, a trip to Walmart today. A short one.
This morning Ron was OK until about an hour before we left. Then he began drinking and got very angry at me for "forcing" him to go. He made me recite him my list and then shouted I didn't need any of it, why were we going.
Cue hour or so of very loud and angry, drunken, verbal abuse. Including in front of the driver and at the store.
I did what I came to do, got everything. I didn't call Ron, but he called me a couple of times. Ironically enough, asking me to buy him things. I thought he didn't want to go to Walmart.
Walmart was a hellhole of misbehaving, screaming, children. Adults laughing at the monsters, thinking it was "cute" when the kid screamed at the top of their lungs for a while. Ugh. And people wonder why I didn't have kids.
I finally finished, Ron demanded a snack from McDonald's. I got him something because he does have to eat and I hoped it would soak up some of the booze.
He ate it and the driver came, Ron was belligerent all the way home and kept repeating himself. Then more verbal abuse when we got home on how we didn't "need" to get anything.
Ron doesn't understand the whole concept of sympathy cards, but 2 people I know lost a mother on Friday. I wanted to give them cards, at least, to let them know I'd be praying. That's just one of the things I got.
He went on for a while, stopped, drank some more (we were at home). Then he asked me what was wrong it with me, didn't I want to laugh. I told him no, it makes me sad when he drinks.
He asked me if I wanted to watch an old sitcom with him. I told him no, because he had been "shouting at me all morning and that doesn't make me feel close to you". He cursed me out a little and then went off to his room.
I'm going to take a nap.
5 comments:
I encourage you to get out without him. Take a cab. You are worth it.
Take your time shopping. You need to have your own independence. No wonder you are depressed.
Do something for you! ((Hugs))
I'm getting out on Tuesday, to go see Doc. Not sure how it is going to work out, my aunt needs to do child care (grandbaby), but at least I will be out of the house for a while.
Baby steps to gain your independence. You may see Ron in a new light once you get some you time. Hope you make a date with you once a week.
You may not see yourself as I see you. You are very capable and very articulate. You don't need to be dependant on an abuser.
I would never give advice against a married couple but Ron needs a wake-up call that Heather isn't dependent on him and he can be a loving husband or.....
Heather you do so much and ask so little of Ron . He is genuinely cruel sometimes and My heart hurts when he is mean to you. I do not know that alcohol is everything as you have said he is a narcissist.
But you love him and somehow feel it is your obligation to go through these trials with him.
i read hoping you have a fun day out ..like you used to just go exploring and seeing what it out there.
Take care be well and fill your bucket
Huge hugs
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