Boy, if they got mad over my last post...
I got up early with a headache. I took something, took a shower, did my God Time, got on the computer.
We left for work. We had a driver who spoke Swahili so we used the bad word we knew on him. He was impressed we knew how to curse in his language.
We got to work. All the machines were OK. I was happy because they had done some electrical work, and the last time they did that it cost us a $240 repair. They had a power surge that fried one of the boards. We were lucky it wasn't more expensive.
But we didn't have any problems. Ron and I work in a large room with two televisions. He is always complaining they are too loud, and they are often set to competing stations. It can be upsetting for him. He is always asking me to turn them down. I do, when I can (when no one's around, or watching it).
In the meantime, we went to work. My machines were pretty empty, so I was busy setting up to stock them. By the way, I got some good news. The carts I have been asking for (I actually only wanted one cart, but I'll take two), are in, and will be delivered Monday.
Ron demanded I empty my cart and help him with the bottled vendor. I told him I would be happy to help him in about half an hour. He decided that was too long and got some of the drinks himself, but it was hard on him and he decided to wait.
In the meantime, someone came in and turned the channel to a Spanish language station, playing the World Cup soccer game. Ron loathes soccer. He hates Spanish. He hates the "goal" thing they do. He hates the roar of the crowd and the way the watchers carry on over the game. He was very upset, yelling at the guy watching the game. The watcher basically blew him off. Ron became progressively more upset and I told him to calm down, suggested he maybe lie down in the (very quiet) hallway for a while "and get a break".
He didn't react well. He became very verbally abusive. To me. Did I mention we were not alone? He said awful - shouted awful - things at me for quite a while. I didn't care about that as much as I did his "pointing" this at the employees. That can get us fired.
Like anyone, our job is not secure. It is only stable as long as everyone's happy, and Ron was completely unravelled. I remember thinking the only word he didn't call me was the c-word. So I at least have that.
He kept asking why I was trying to shut him up and what I was afraid of. I kept wanting to tell him I was afraid of losing my job due to his BAD behavior. No one cares if he treats me like crap, though. It's just another day at the office.
I kept ignoring him no matter the provocation and eventually he calmed down. The soccer guy left and I changed the channel, turned the volume down. That helped a lot. Ron gets overstimulated just like an autistic sometimes.
By this time, I was done with my work, what I could do at least, and helped him with his work. Bless those who curse you, in literal action (Matthew 5:44). We finished virtually everything we could do and did our inventory.
Ron took a one way trip to work today so we could work as long as we needed, today. We stayed about 2 hours past when he scheduled, originally, on paratransit.
Last of all, we went to the front office to try to get our badges renewed. They expire in about 3 weeks. They told us we had to wait another week. OK.
We waited inside as long as possible - it is hot out there. We finally went out a couple minutes before the cab arrived.
It was raining by the time we got home, but we got unloaded. I barely had time to change out of my work boots before the next ride arrived - Ron had made a trip to Denny's.
We went, had an OK time, came home. I believe he was drinking in the kitchen when we came home but I try not to police him. I plan to go to bed early tonight, at least an hour early, so I can get as much sleep as possible.
On an ideal day, I get a nap, and that did not happen today.
6 comments:
Yeah people who listen and watch someone getting verbally abused and don't say anything suck. Ron's lucky I don't work at that post office because I would have went off on his ass. More than likely you guys would lose your job over it because I would take it to human resources.
"In the meantime, someone came in and turned the channel to a Spanish language station, playing the World Cup soccer game. Ron loathes soccer. He hates Spanish. He hates the "goal" thing they do. He hates the roar of the crowd and the way the watchers carry on over the game. He was very upset, yelling at the guy watching the game. The watcher basically blew him off. Ron became progressively more upset and I told him to calm down, suggested he maybe lie down in the (very quiet) hallway for a while "and get a break". "
Why does Ron dislike any of these things? This isn't neuro pain he can't control or his alcohol dependency, this just sounds being grumpy for no reason.
Even if soccer isn't your sport, why hate it? It's just a fan enjoying a game. (Also why dislike Spanish? It's a language!)
The watcher should've blown him off--that's abnormal behavior. If it was a movie with coarse language or something like that... I could see. But this is a sport.
Doesn't look good to go off on a customer and word can spread.
Left last comment, forgot to say...
Sorry this had to go down.
You are strong and loved.
Praying for you.
About the soccer, I think that was just Ron getting overstimulated. It happens with TBI. I actually expected more this kind of thing and less the verbal abuse, at the time of his accident. He had some serious damage - I've seen the MRI. 3 areas of the brain are clearly affected. It happens, a little, with me in very busy environments, more so before my medication.
I find it interesting how the "bipolar" meds help with the Fetal Alcohol. Anyway, Ron needs quiet environments. He gets cranky and overstimulated when he is in an active, noisy, one. He will often ask a driver to turn down a noisy dispatch radio, and, on occasion, yell at the dispatch radio. Drivers are pretty used to it, so it happens.
I just wish we didn't have 2 televisions. It makes life difficult at work.
what good would it have done if anyone at work had said anything to Ron while he was verbally abusing you? You wouldn’t have accepted any help. You won’t leave him. But you want others to step in and defend you. Girl you have the power to get up and walk away from the man. GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SUFFER FROM THIS ABUSE. I believe every situation God puts us in has a purpose. What purpose would you staying with Ron be? Not for Ron, for you. What purpose would it have for you? It’s hard to read your posts about all this abuse but you refuse to do anything about it to help yourself. God helps those who help themselves.
I don't want someone to step in and defend me, but it is extra humiliating when he goes off in public like that. I just wish he wouldn't. I understand head injury and all but I get tired of it.
If Ron would be fine on his own, and I knew 100% it was not the head injury, I might leave him, but things are what they are.
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