I had post traumatic nightmares last night, and woke up to see pictures of my abuser all over my news feed. I understand he is "visiting" but I wish they could have blocked him. I want to see pictures of my Dad so I can't block them, but I prepared myself for it when I logged on.
I meant to talk about something I saw last night at dinner. It reminded me of something out of "My 600 pound life". Near us, at dinner, was a table with two obese adults and a normal weighted child. The child had eaten the slider meal, eaten one small hamburger and left 2 uneaten. The man weighed about 500 pounds, he ate everything on his plate and investigated his wife's plate, but she ate everything too.
So he stats looking at his daughters food, grabs it, and eats it. No wonder the little girl is so skinny, if her father is eating all her food! In my family, your leftovers were your leftovers. No one else ate them. I can understand taking a bite, but eating the entire 2/3rds of her meal?
I'm sitting there, shoveling salad in my face, because, as I said, we had a short stay at the restaurant and it always takes forever to eat salad, and my burger was sitting there getting cold.
But I need to be eating salad or I'm not going to stay healthy. So I sat there eating my salad, watching the huge man eat his daughter's hamburgers, while my own hamburger got cold sitting off to the side.
And Ron is up, and drinking in the kitchen. My kitchen is not a place for food, it is a place for vodka. He has a "liquor cabinet" and sits between the sink and the fridge, drinking. I won't describe the whole drinking ritual, but it involves ice, water, and vodka. Sitting there in front of the sink for long periods of time, drinking.
I am pretty sure he is at more than the 6 drinks a day he told the doctor. [sigh]
I got the laundry started, now I need to do my shower and God Time, do up some candy. Tomorrow's going to be a busy one.
4 comments:
Technically your entire family is abusing you. The abuser when you lived at home and your dad and stepmother for posting ALL the fun pictures on their facebook about their trip. Did they post pictures on Facebook when they came to visit you?
They posted some photos when they came to visit me, not a lot, maybe 6?
They did that much the first day the abuser and his kid came to visit. I understand excitement about the grandkid but could stand to pass on the abuser.
The way they see it we all victimized each other. I apparently victimized everyone by being depressed. He victimized me by beating me and a steady diet of verbal abuse. But both are apparently equally bad.
[sigh]
Yeah kudos for the mentally ill person to have children and pass that along to the next generation. That's something to be really excited about for the grandparents. Why are people such idiots?
Wow I can't believe they said your depression victimized them. That's pretty insane. I bet for all your depression you did not physically beat anyone, nor did you verbally abuse them. I can bet you had you done either you would have been disciplined for it and not allowed to continue doing it. People suck. Family sucks the most for many.
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