Saturday

So, another bad night, although Ron said he "slept fine".  Why he kept waking me up, then, is anyone's guess. 

I got up, got on the computer for a while, did my shower and God Time.  When I'm not working, and even when I am, I like to read "Operation World" it is a guidebook to praying for all the nations.  It breaks down every country into days.  Some countries, like China, go over several days.  Other countries are grouped together for one day.  The idea is to read that day's selection, and pray for the particular needs of the country.  Hopefully some, who are able to serve (not me [sad face]) will be drawn to serve various countries.  It's a really cool book. 

I found it when I was looking for something, for Eric, a couple of weeks ago.  So now it's back in rotation.  I was happy doing my God Time - and that's something I think the atheists don't get - even if there is not a God (and I believe there is), it makes me feel better, centers me, etc.  Even Al anon says I should do "meditation" every day.  I just call it "God Time" and incorporate a lot of prayer and Bible Study. 

So I did my shower and God Time.  When I finished, it was pretty late.  Ron woke up.  I decided to eat my leftovers and take a nap.  I ate my leftovers and took my medication (second dose, already did the first).  Then I took a nap. 

I had a little trouble falling asleep but I did.  I don't remember my dreams this time, but they weren't bad.  I would remember that. 

I got up with a headache.  Oh, fun.  I took some fake Excedrin and I forget what I did for the next couple hours.  Watched TV, probably.  Around 6 my time I called my parents.  We talked for a while.  they hung up pretty quick when Ron showed up and kept thanking them for raising "a wonderful daughter". 

And there it was, lots of praise for me, after I hung up.  I am wonderful.  I am so special.  Thanks for taking care of him.  Etc. 

He told me he was having trouble getting to the kitchen these days and I said he was lazy, if all he does is lie in bed (the case), than of course he wouldn't be able to get around.  He needs to get up and practice getting back and forth before he loses the ability to go the bathroom on his own.  He didn't argue, and he would have if he didn't agree. 

I started cleaning the litter boxes (we have 5).  At first it was more praise, I am great, I am such a good parent to the cats, etc.  Then he started mumbling unintelligible gibberish so I told him I couldn't "hear" him.  I couldn't hear him, or understand him, but it was all gibberish.  He told me we should let the cats run loose, outside, so they wouldn't use the box.  The whole point of keeping them inside is safety.  I told him it was a bad idea.  Then he tried to tell me not to do all the boxes.  Why would I only do half?  That's just dumb.  I told him no, I would do them all.  That's all I said. 

He blew up and screamed at me, accusing me of complaining (I never did) and cursing me out.  He had apparently reached his alcohol limit.  He even got angry when I topped the boxes off with more litter.  I had to explain it's so the pee clumps wouldn't stick to the plastic. 

He hung out in the kitchen for a while, quiet, while I focused on my computer in the other room.  He left me alone, I left him alone.  He asked if I wanted takeout.  It is 9 PM.  No.  He heated up something in the microwave and went to bed. 

I am going to talk to him tomorrow.  He is almost out of vodka.  Last time he got very drunk, drank all the vodka, called Alex to come bring more, and then gave Alex a $200 tip.  I want to prevent that from happening again.  I will suggest Ron order more alcohol when he is sober and remain sober during the entire transaction, so he doesn't waste more money.  I couldn't believe it when he did that.  You know how many Bibles I could buy?  Cab rides to handout venues?  Disgusting.  Ron also let Baby Girl out when he was talking to Alex, so he needs to stay sober.  I would have been furious if he had let out one of 'my" cats. 

Ron did feel a little bad about Baby Girl but not very.  I felt worse for her than Ron did.  Poor cat, out in a thunderstorm. 

Ron is really accelerating and not in a good way.  I shudder to think where this will end up.   Until then I will focus on the good things, like Torbie lying on my foot and being cute.  Hopefully she will sleep with me tonight. 

That always makes for a good night, even if I can't sleep.