Stay dropped

Recently, I've been worried I'm not "interesting".   Well.  I just looked up my stats.  Over 1,800 hits last month.  I guess I still have "it".

Happily, to whoever is looking up the "doormat" stuff, Ron is treating me awesomely.  He gets a thumbs up.  He didn't even make his planned trip to the liquor store.

The big issues in my life: anxiety about that siding repair!  I hate looking at that wall every morning and wondering if it's rotting.  Bills coming due, but I think I am better about turning financial stuff over to God than I am other issues.  What I would consider "usual" illness issues, a little trouble letting go of "insults" (rumination ), a tiny bit of paranoia,  depression, a little manic the other day, house is a mess, not enough money for inventory, etc.

I try to let God do the heavy lifting.  The Bible is stuffed with commands not to worry.  ( Matthew Chapter 6 )  A command is something to be taken seriously; so I seriously work on the issues.

Now, for the rumination issues: I am not a fan of "therapy" (I was in therapy for years and everyone "missed" the fact I had severe bipolar with psychosis - I was good at hiding it but not that good).  Anyway, I'm not a fan of "therapy", but if a good Christian therapist in Houston, nearby, on a bus line, offered free assistance I'd take it.  I'm sure they could do a lot.

Maybe I should look into getting a book.  I will.  I want to let things drop, and stay dropped.  The worry stuff I have to leave with God.  I've never starved, gone hungry, or gone homeless yet.  The God who created me love me and knows what I need.

Happily, my worst problems today are minor by any standards.  I woke up, staring at the bedroom wall with the siding problem.  I hate wondering about it; but I finally have the money saved to pay for supplies.  A friend said he'd fix when I offered to pay for supplies.  Yay!  I know God's got it, anyway.

Ron wanted to talk when he heard me awake, so I went and talked to him for an hour.  Quality time is a big love language for me, I love to spend time with him.  Same for him.

That did present a minor problem: normally I wake up, shower, and do my God Time.  I had to drop the God Time (for the moment) and just go straight to shower.  I'm sure God understood.

After all, I've been asking for His help with my marriage for a very long time.  Things are a lot better now, but God gets the credit.  When *I* tried to do things on my own, I did very badly.  Things did not improve until I turned Ron, and the whole marriage issue, completely over to God.  I just need to remember to leave it all with Him!

Notice a theme here?  [laugh]

I needed to print up some more "Where to Look in the New Testament" tracts.  Ron offered to take me to the Starbucks nearby and wait.  I could run my errand and come back, and he'd give me a ride home.  It sounded great (Ron's other love language is "Acts of Service").  I had told him I was fine with riding the bus, but he was insistent.

Anyway, I got the tracts (trimmed a little too far on one margin, but still readable), but the left us there for an extra hour before picking us up.  Ron was pretty annoyed.

I was happy I only spent $10 a hundred.  I had been paying $17 a hundred.  I read a zombie book (Dead Cells), which is very good but very scary.  When we got home, I took a nap and had a horrible nightmare.  I was living in an apartment complex; and it was overrun with zombies.  Ugh.

It should have been a nice nap.  I had a nice fat house-cat in my bed.  He likes to sleep with me, now.

Although, recently, I had a strange wakeup.  I was lying on my back, and something was being tugged, with great force, under my back.  YANK.  YANK.   I couldn't figure it out.  I rolled over and the cat pulled out his tail!  I'd rolled over on his tail while sleeping.  I try to be more careful now.

When I roll over, I gently lift and move the tail so I don't mash it.  No wonder kitty is so spoiled.