I'd rather take the beating

I talk a lot.  "Oh, I wouldn't mind getting beat up for Jesus".  "Go ahead, I can deal with a spiritual attack!"  "Bring it!"

I'm battling both the depression, and the side effects of an increased lithium dose.  I'm tired, and hopeless, and getting stupid things like that siding problem on my bedroom wall, stuck in my head.

I was whining to God, and I had a thought.  "Heather, you're willing to take a beating for Jesus.  Are you willing to take  depression?  Are you willing to put up with damaged siding for a while (I'm saving for the repair) if it meant a couple of people got reached?"

Huh.

Personally, I'd rather take the beating!