A trip to Ikea

 My aunt came this morning and we went to Ikea.  

I wanted to get feather pillows, pillow covers, and some reusable tote bags as I am always using a tote bag.  I find them so handy.  

We got in the store.  I had to do the escalator.  I hate escalators.  When my adoptive Mom had just married my Dad she brought a toddler (and 2 older kids) to the marriage.  She went out with us one day.  I was about 5, he was 2 and in a stroller.  She had trouble with the stroller at the top of the escalator and I fell down.  To the bottom.  I was not harmed but scared to death and crying.  A customer and a store employee helped get me back on my feet and made Mom feel TERRIBLE about it.  She was very defensive.  It had been a long time since she had 2 young kids together and the stroller wasn't working properly.  I have never blamed her for that but I just don't like escalators.  

Next time I will take the elevator.  Anyway at the top of the escalator they had the pillows I wanted, feather pillows, 20 inches square.  I loaded up on a few.  Then I found the 20 inch navy covers.  I got 2 of those.  We looked around some.  I saw some cute stuff I liked BUT I have a small house.  

My in laws had a nice little house.  It was cute and he had built most of it himself.  But they had so much furniture crammed in there it was very uncomfortable.  No room to just stand anywhere and turn around with your arms out, you would knock into something.  Ron and I agreed we would not keep our house like that, but have breathing room, and I still intend to do that.  

So I saw cute stuff, but I'm full.  They did have some cute loveseats but the ones I have work fine.  If anything I might need a loveseat cover on the "Lillberg" loveseat but they are fine.  

We didn't get anything to eat and then went downstairs.  I found reusable tote bags and was very happy about that, huge canvas ones for $3.  I got 4, and 2 small ones for $2 each.  Then I found some folding totes that squish down into a pocket so I got a few of those, they were only 50 cents each.   I was set for totes, now about those pillows.  

They did NOT have the 26 inch square pillows I had specifically sought, I decided to compromise and get a total of 5, 20 inch pillows.  One for Ron's room to go in the orange cover, which I found, and matches my other one in the orange cover.  Two for the navy on the loveseat in the front room.  And 2 for Ron's room.  But I forgot I already had a feather pillow at home so I have an extra, which is fine.  

They had some really cute artificial plants and my aunt and I agreed a couple would look very nice by Ron's urn.  I got one vining one and she picked out a nice "orchid".  We set them up when we got home.  

I thought the $20 in plants was money well spent.  That set me up, we checked out and went to lunch.  

I told my aunt the local taqueria is going to think we don't like them anymore when she moves because I won't be going there.  

She has two things on the market and got a serious offer on one of them, so that's good.  They did want the wine fridge as part of the deal which I found funny.  It isn't very big, or expensive, but they really liked the way it looked, I guess.  

We ran a couple of quick errands and then came home, she was working on a headache so she left.  She said it wasn't bad otherwise I would have set up Ron's bed for her to lie down.  Well it's not Ron's bed but the bed in Ron's room?  The Blue room?  What do I call it?!  I call the former computer room the orange room because it is orange.  Maybe I will just call it the blue room.  

That's it for now.  I have tomorrow off too so likely will come back and post.  

Because Jesus loves me

 Before I write this I need to be clear: I am a miserable, wretched sinner only saved by repentance and faith in Jesus Christ as the Son of God.  I am no one special in the scheme of things, no more or less than any other everyday human being.  

That said Jesus came to atone for my sins and I repented of them (still do, ongoing) and accepted His gift.  And He has done amazing things in my life.  

When Ron died I had $16 in my checking account.  I had no way to pay for his disposal.  I was also fired from the blind vendor program two days after he died as I'm not blind.  

Someone stepped up and paid for Ron's cremation.   

Someone on one of my online message boards started a Go Fund Me which raised over six THOUSAND dollars in a week.  

Someone at work gave me a combined total of a thousand dollars in cash.  

Someone else affiliated with work gave me five hundred dollars in cash.  

A family member sent me a check for two thousand dollars.  

Another family member gave me $1,500.  

I sold the inventory for $800, more than fair.  

The loose change and surplus coinage from the business totaled over a thousand dollars.  

Various friends and family sent me various checks and gift cards.  

Work again gave me over $100 "pass the hat" money right as my cell phone died and I needed to buy a new one.   I found a great basic phone and had some money left over.  

I began applying for jobs, asking God to only open the right door.  Walmart called me with a job offer all I had to do was say yes, I never even had an interview.  They seem to like me.  

I had lost the life insurance papers but a family member was able to track it down and the house was paid off, over $32K.  Now I am only paying utilities, taxes, and insurance.  I got to keep my 5 cats which means the world to me (Houston apartments only allow two cats).  

Various nice people on Next Door took ALL Ron's homecare stuff, a family member took all the clothes and donated them.  

Two family members helped me rip out the carpet in his room.  

A friend of a family member heard about Ron's room (drywall damage due to plumbing work, no carpet, needed paint) and offered to pay for all repairs/upgrades.  The room looks great now.  

My Dad asked me about the last, "why" basically, and I said "Because Jesus loves me".  It is as good an answer as any.  

I do know, as I looked at the dead body of my husband on the floor, I knew without a doubt God would take care of me and He has.  I still have doubts about the future at times but He is good.  

Two days in one, again

 Friday night I had an ill customer come up on me and required help.  When I got home I spent my blog time emptying out my pockets and washing everything I had worn.  I didn't sleep well but I did get a good nap just now when I got home from work Saturday.  

Work was OK both nights.  I didn't have a problem with the one associate, apparently I am "on" again and in her good graces which I will enjoy as long as I have them.  

Today was busy, I don't mind that.  I had a disabled customer, he had a shuffle as he walked and was very, extremely, profane.  He stole something and his wife said it was "Walmart's fault".  They were very abusive to me and I was nothing but nice to them, thinking how hard it is to care for a disabled loved one.  They repaid it poorly.  

I got out on time.  It was raining and very cold so I took the cab home, don't regret that.  I took a 2 hour nap which was great.  That would have been my commute time.  

My stomach has been irritating me the last few days.  Not "I'm getting sick from the guy I encountered the other night" but just "Damn those meds are irritating".  I wonder how many patients on my medication cocktail end up with ulcers.  

My job is not stressful enough I've got stomach trouble, but I have had stomach issues since I started my regime back in 2006.  I will figure it out.  I am taking probiotics.  

I had 3-4 cats in my bed during the nap, they weren't going out in the weather.  I checked the mail when I got up (wearing my sweats and an oversized tshirt, with my slip on shoes and a jacket).  I had some junk mail, including an "Extremely Urgent" letter addressed to Ron I could tell was from a Home Warranty company.  

The way I see it if home warranties were any good they wouldn't need to trick people into signing up.  I also got a letter from the Harris County Tax Assessor.  I was a little worried about that, opened it up, it is a letter to "Estate of Ron ___ and Heather ___". saying I don't owe them anything.  What a waste.  I will give it to my aunt.  

Apparently the Tax Assessor hasn't yet figured out Ron's estate left me the house and I am the sole legal owner.  I'm sure they will, eventually.  

I finished the laundry.  Last night I took everything off when I got home, emptied the pockets, and washed it all on the spot as I did not want to catch whatever made that man vomit.  I dried my vest and jacket last night but the rest of it still had to take a run through the dryer.  So that's happening now.  

I have also felt colder than I would like, lying in bed, so I got out my extra blanket and washed it.  It is waiting to go in the dryer.  It is polyester so it should dry pretty quick.  

Did I ever tell you the story of the time Ron set his hair on fire?  We lived in CA, this was about 1993.  We had an upstairs neighbor with a new baby.  The baby cried all night (as they do) and that really sort of sealed it for me that I did not want my own infant.  We had to move the bed into the living room.  We had a cheap polyester blanket that had a lot of fuzzballs.  We had gotten up and dressed.  Ron had gotten ahold of a little weed and had his pipe and lighter in his pocket (I was never interested in pot).  

I noticed Ron had a lot of lint balls in his hair from the blanket so I sat behind him on the bed and began plucking them.  Ron got a little offended.  All of a sudden Ron's hair erupted in flames!  I screamed and he began slapping at it.  

He had a big ugly comb over and it was burned to a cinder.  Ashes everywhere.  The apartment STANK.  

I asked Ron what had happened and he said he thought he would spook me by flicking the lighter near my fingers as I plucked the lint.  But it backfired and caught the comb over on fire.  He had to take a shower, wash his clothes, and open a window but we got the stench out.  Then he looked at his hair.  No more comb over!  What was he going to do?   

I told him to brush it straight back and he did that, the next day at work everyone complimented his hair so he continued doing that right up until he died.  

I will say, I laughed so hard I wet myself, once I knew he was OK.  

That's it for now.  

Friday morning

 I never know who's going to read this, once it's out there it is out there.  So I will stick to the facts.  

I got to work OK.  I was wearing my long underwear and wool socks, it was not fun traveling, but I did it.  I got to work and another employee was there.  I believe she has borderline personality disorder, she either loves me or hates me.  

At my store we don't always do the same job, this night I was assigned to cover a department she saw as "hers".  The boss was adamant and gave me a list of a few items to do in addition to keeping the department picked up.  I was given a cart full of returns to put back.  I started working.  I put up all the returns.  

I was supposed to cover the other employee's breaks and lunches and did so, then I took my lunch.  When I came back she had taken items off the shelf and filled up my return basket with them.  OK, it's like that.  It must have taken her the whole hour, there was a lot of stuff, but I put it all back without saying anything because she was looking for a fight.  By this point I had done the 2 primary things I was asked to do by the boss, in addition to keeping it picked up.  

I told her the store has a policy about the department closing at 9 PM.  She did not listen and had a line at about 10 minutes to 10, when she asked me to "cover because I have to go to the bathroom".  Both of us were off at 10, I knew she would cut and run the minute I took the keys, I also knew she had set it up so I would be stuck until well after 10 if I did take them, missing my ride home.  So I said no, I'm sorry, I have to go in a few minutes, that is why I told you about 9PM.  Then I walked off.  I went back to my department and I could hear her cursing.  

Also security has a policy about the keys, the person who takes them out is responsible for putting them back.  I would get in trouble if I did that.  

I had to set a boundary.  That is why the department closes at 9, so you have time to deal with the people in line before you're off shift at 10.  But all she could see was "sticking it to Heather, that old bitch who is mean and turns people away" (she was saying as much when she thought I didn't hear her).  She probably thought I would "have" 'to "help" if she created a jam but that was not my job anyway.  And if you waited until 9:50 to go to the bathroom you can wait another 5-10 minutes.  

She only works a couple nights a week.  I don't know why she even comes in.  She has money, she has been clear on that, she has a lot of jewelry that looks real.  It is just very difficult to work with her.  I don't have problems with the other ones.  

I do have problems with 2 employees who are very lazy, want to hide and play on their cell phones when they should be working, and do, if the boss isn't there, want to drag me into it...but this lady can be a lot.  

In addition to all that the app logged me out, and wouldn't let me sign in again.  I had to sign out for lunch at personnel.  Then I spent a good chunk of my lunch break trying to log back in, and finally did so.  It was a tough night!  

I came home and checked my messages, my aunt already has 2 offers on her house.  I am happy for her and sad for me, but all the grand kids are up there so of course she is going.  The weather will be a lot colder though.  

I talked to Mom and Dad a little before I went to bed.  I woke up in the middle of the night and got a drink of water, went back to bed.  Total I slept over 8 hours so that is good.  #6 still has work going on his covered patio thing he is building next to my bedroom.  

My cycle is behaving.  Today is day 2.  I generally have 2-3 heavy days and a couple of lighter ones.  Tomorrow is a short work day; I am getting a ride to work.  

My aunt saw my bank balance and transferred some money from Ron's account to me (she is executor) so I can pay to finish Ron's room, etc.  I decided to spend $20 of it on a nice warm ride to work today which also frees up HOURS I would have spent in travel time.  I probably should have prayed about it first.  

My cab driver was happy to get the phone call; and I can talk to him about tomorrow as well.  This is not a long work week for me, yesterday, tonight, Saturday and Sunday short days.  I am OK on people groceries although I might pick up some lentils and look at stock pots.  On the other hand I don't have freezer space if I did make a large dish.  So I will just look at a smaller sauce pan like I have in case I want to cook 2 things at once.  

I woke up with a headache which is fairly persistent.  I think I will try a shower.  It is cold in there so I am running the space heater for a minute first.  

Shower helped.  I've decided I am not going to worry about the co worker.  If she tries to get me in trouble by saying I didn't help her she will have to admit she was taking customers after closing.  And the boss is very firm on that.  My assigned area looked good when I left and the co worker did not have time to sabotage it on her way out.  That is all that matters.  The co worker was assigned a task she did not complete in her quest to "get" me so if anyone gets in trouble it will be her.  

Anyway it is a cold and miserable day, the heater is running, glad I have a way to work.  Spotty figured out he can go under the kitchen sink and enter a cabinet through an access area the plumbers cut a few years ago (inside).  He was having a lot of fun in there, I wonder how often he has done that.  I may look and see if we have those $5 cat beds still and put one in the cabinet.  

That's it for now.  

Thursday morning

 I slept OK, didn't wake up, maybe the Valerian root helped?  I don't know.  I did sleep, got up, used the bathroom and found my visitor had come.  

Happily not a crime scene, just enough to let me know I had to get out my supplies.  So I will have to deal with that at work.  Will it be heavy like last month?  Moderate as it has been lately?  I don't know.  I will bring a little of everything and see how that goes.  

I think I will also take some Advil that helps with a heavy flow.  I read about that online and tried it, it helped a lot.  I don't really care how it comes out if I am at home on a day off; I do care if I am at work with limited access to the bathroom.  

Enough about that.  The cats are good, a couple of them slept with me which was nice.  My aunt texted me she already has 7 people coming to look at her house.  If things were different I would put up her listing, it's a really nice house, but I don't want that information out there.  

I need to take my shower.   Did that.  

I need to figure out some sort of Spotty time.  He wants attention when I can't give it to him.  

Feeling depressed and anxious today... I am just leaving the whole day up to God because I feel empty.  

Wednesday night

So my aunt came; late, but she came.  She has two properties on the market plus setting up the new place.  I was just happy I got any time.  

We did not have time for Ikea but did discuss 1.  finances 2.  decorating  3.  got my hair trimmed.  She took off about 23 inches.  Here it is now.  

We also had lunch which was fun.  I was able to get some more groceries with my fun money, happy to see I could also do another 6 pack of diet dew.  The weather was miserable, overcast and cold, windy and just awful.  

I even figured out how to use the work app and scan prices.  I felt pretty intelligent after that.  We came home, it was pretty dark, she left, got home safe I assume.  

I told her I am asking God for a bidding war on the two places, and a sale price $50K over asking, which I think she can get on her Houston house (not the condo maybe but the house for sure).  It is a nice house in a nice neighborhood which NEVER floods, not even during Harvey.  That is huge.  She laughed when I told her that but you never know.  

I remember that from accounting classes, "Goodwill" is the difference between what you pay for something and what it is actually "worth".  So we will see.  I have high hopes.  

If God blessed us based on our merits (He does not) then she is due for a big blessing.  

I took some Valerian root so I could sleep tonight and am actually tired.  So I'm going to bed.  (((Hugs)))

 

Wednesday morning

 I tossed and turned for a while, finally dropped off.  If I am not working late I generally go to bed around 8 PM.  Fell asleep, then woke up a few hours later.  AGH.  Went back to sleep, got up around 7, took my shower.  

I finished the clothes in the dryer and put them up in the closet.  The trash pickup came.  

We have a nice window in Ron's room.  He liked to put the trash can right outside the window and then throw the trash in the can as needed.  So when they took the trash I put the can around back by his window so I can do that.  I will block off the gate when the recycle comes and I can put that can away too, because I ABSOLUTELY believe these people will put their trash in my recycle can if I "hide" the primary trash can.  3 cars in their driveway today not counting the monster truck so at least 4 people living there.  Pitiful.  I am pretty confident they will not be bending over to move two heavy concrete blocks, to get in my yard.  

So I did that.  I did my Bible study as well.  Debating do I want to turn on the TV?  

I had a mild headache when I got up but I beat that.  My aunt is running late, she'll get here when she gets here.  I am not freaking out about it.  

She really wants to trim my hair so we will do that.  Just take an inch or two off the ends because I have pretty bad split ends.  

I did find it a little odd; the internet provider sent me a text yesterday saying they got my payment but when I looked they had not taken it yet?  I am not going to spend it but I found it a little baffling.  One thing I need to do, sit down and make a list of the auto pays and what dates they come out.  I have never had anything bounce and I don't plan to do it.  

I also have some questions about my electric bill I will run by "auntie".  I just want to make sure it is paid every month and may set up auto pay with my credit card.  

It is a gloomy and depressing day.  That's it for now.  

Battling the headache all day

 It sucks because I had plans for today, cooking and cleaning.  I will figure it out.  

My aunt is about ready to list her house I am hoping for a bidding war and $50K over asking, that would be awesome if she could pay off the new house with whatever she makes from this one.  

All my bills are paid: I have cell phone and internet come out at the end of the month.  Charity stuff will have to wait a few weeks (I already did the Feb. debits).  I have a little left, I will have to see where we go tomorrow.  I would like to go to Ikea and Food Town (FT to get more lemon pies).  She also plans to give my hair a trim.  My ends are pretty bad.  

My mood is OK considering.  I am not getting sucked into petty neighbor war crap over nothing.  It's just not worth it.  I am sure they hate the cats running around.  

I'm going to go check the mail.  I never got last year's refund maybe it will be in the box.  Nope, got my card (will have fun with the money at Ikea tomorrow!) and a very confusing letter from the electric company.  

I never got a bill, and my computer died, so my aunt paid the bill.  Now I get a letter from the company asking me to set up auto pay.  So did the bill get paid?  Do I want to do auto pay?  And off what?  The debit card?  I will talk to my aunt tomorrow.  

Times like this I can feel the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome affects me.  I am confused, but I'll sort it out.  I also got my credit card statement and the water bill, but I still have money on that account so not worried.  Those are both paid, bottom line.  

I think I am going to go ahead and make my rice so I can take my medication.  

Only I 😂 could lose a 5 pound bag of rice in my kitchen.  I had some in my canister but I used it up; I needed to refill the canister which I keep on the counter along with a canister of lentils.  I found it in the bottom cabinet.  It has a shelf in the back and it was on the shelf.  But I got it.  

So I made a pilaf with some mixed veggies, and some chopped kale.  A little bouillon powder finished it.  The powder does have msg in it but I think I will be OK.  So I will have rice and cooked veggies for dinner.  I like having the chopped kale I can just put it in anything.  

I want to have my medication on board.  My faith carries me; but God also gave me medication.  Today is not at all what I had planned but I can do it tomorrow.  Thank God for the rice pot, that makes it easy.  

My dinner should be ready about the time I finish my phone call with my parents.   

Talked to them, ate my rice.  It is pretty good with some chopped kale and mixed veggies in it.  An easy way to get a lot of veggies.  I have plenty left.  I am just waiting for it to cool before I put it in the fridge.  

That's it for now.  

OK I am annoyed (a small vent)

 I have been pretty happy with #2.  A couple of people live there but they're quiet.  

Last night I was sitting in my chair.  They have their trash cans pretty close to where I keep my cans, maybe 12-15 feet apart.  There is no fence and I allowed the homeowner to cut down the hedge a few years ago.  

I heard him come out and throw trash in his can.  Then I heard him throw something in my can.  This morning I found a very LARGE bag of takeout waste in my can.  Not happy.  

I wouldn't care so much but they are lazy about taking out their trash, "forget" and then they have a full can to deal with the whole next week.  I am not letting them put their trash in my can because they are too lazy to take out their own trash (and they are not elderly or disabled, they are about half my age).  

I was pretty mad.  But I have decided to move my cans to the backyard.  They can't put stuff in my can if they can't access the can.  

I am sure they think it is "no big deal" but I found it very rude.  Off I go to move my recycle, I could see them putting their food trash in there if I don't move it now.  

Edit: I am really starting to think the Devil wants me to hate these people.  

I felt a little better so I took my trash out.  The big truck was parked in front of my house (the man's).  I left him plenty of room to get out and put my cans in my driveway.  Apparently he drove into them both, knocking them over, as he left.  Not happy about that.  So I put my cans at my preferred spot in front of the house.  He will have to get out and move them if he wants "his" spot tonight.  

Sigh.. now I am feeling convicted so I will go put them at the base of my driveway again.  

I looked at the takeout receipt, who pays $39 for two "rolls"?  What was that, some kind of sandwich?  Pretty expensive one at that.  I'm done.  

I saw one of them when I went out to move the can... not sorry I put the cans in reasonable spot now.  I feel a better person for it.  I don't have the energy for petty neighbor wars.  It seems to just be the one guy, he has been around about a year and most relationships don't last long anyway these days.  

Not a fun day but going to try and make the best of it.

 Headache is progressing; bad enough I took one of my Phenergan (hadn't taken them in years) and a Nauzene chewable.  Used my aromatherapy roll on.  I feel a little better but still have a pretty bad headache and some nausea.  

One day, I wonder, am I going to drop dead of an aneurysm because I never had a MRI on my head?  Are the headaches really just genetic or food related?  Do I have a ticking time bomb in my head?  Will my aunt find me dead on the floor tomorrow?  The morbid thoughts that run during a severe headache.  

Ugh.  So many food commercials do not help the nausea.  I can handle the cat food commercial, though.  

I did clean up my rice pot: plan, when I feel up to eating: rice, some mixed vegetables and chopped greens, a little chicken boullion, have that for dinner later when the nausea is better, then I can take my pills.  If I'm really hungry I can thaw out some of my roast chicken that should be nice and bland.  

But not up to that now I don't even want water right now.  

Ugh.  

Two days in one!

 I didn't sleep well.  I did enjoy sleeping under the feather quilt, though.  It is very sumptuous which is why I bought it for Ron back in 2007.  For some reason he didn't want it last year during the freeze.  

I hit the snooze button WAY too many times but made it to work OK.  My boss was at it again, she is very, ah, driven.  I have seen other employees hide when they see her coming.  She didn't yell at me today which I guess means I did a good job.  

I clocked out and did my shopping.  I had $40 to spend on groceries (I am not starving, I am being careful).  I had a thought recently, as well.  I like to drink a cold soda when I get to work but a work soda costs $2 after my discount.  I can buy a 6 pack of sodas for $4.  So I bought some with the express purpose of taking it to work and drinking in the breakroom before starting my shift, for about 50 cents vs. $2.  That's $ in a week!  That adds up!  So I got some to drink at home and some to take to work.  Or I may just take it all to work over 2 weeks.  Not sure yet.  I also got some diet decaf.  

That done I got my lactose free milk (happily I can do that), two cartons at $3 each.  That's a lot of protein, I can make shakes, cafe au lait, etc.  I was OK for rice, beans, ground turkey so I didn't look.  I have eggs at home already, but they didn't have a whole lot on the shelf, I noted.  Perils of shopping later in the day.  

[next day]  Went to bed early...woke up around 11 PM, back to sleep, woke up with a pretty nasty headache.  Good news, down to 205 weight...Cats are good and slept with me (not Baby Girl,f or some reason the other cats beat her up if she comes in my room?).  It is funny, I had some dressier clothes in Ron's closet, I took them out so my guys could do the work, laid them on the back of the couch, covered them with a towel so they wouldn't get dust on them (and I'd have to rewash the whole batch).  Torbie loves that and lays on the towel constantly.  She is going to be broken hearted when I finish the work and hang them up again in the closet, although I will have to try everything on again and put the too big stuff out in the garage with my other stuff (a fair amount out there now).  

I wear my work jeans as little as possible in the house, I put them on last thing before I leave and take them off first thing when I get home.  The cats like to get in my lap and make biscuits, snagging the fabric in their claws, shed on it, etc.  A pair of jeans, a good pair, runs about $25 or so.  I can't afford to keep doing that so I just don't wear them at home.  During the winter I have my trusty pair of sweat pants (now getting baggy), and in the summer I have my elastic waist cotton knit shorts.  Works for me!  

I woke up with a fairly nasty headache.  #6 is building yet another addition, this looks to be some sort of covered patio right next to my bedroom.  At first I was irked but then I realized 1.  No trampoline next to my bedroom anymore (that got very old) and 2.  No more soccer game off my bedroom wall anymore so I am calling it a win.  I can handle people sitting around and talking next to my bedroom during their parties but the res of it got pretty old.  I have really old siding that just can't handle a lot of abuse so this is, I think, a good thing.  I just have to get through the construction phase... but they didn't start making noise until well after 7 am when I was already up.  

I wish I didn't have this headache but at least I don't have to go to work with it, I can sit around the house in my sweats and a baggy tshirt with no bra, frizzy hair, take it easy, no screaming kids.  That is really a feature of working at Walmart there is always at least one screaming child at any given moment.  That was the really odd thing when they closed the store "for cleaning" around New Years, it was dead silent.  

I guess housework is out for now...I will get it later today or tomorrow.  Odds are I could not get a nap today as they will be working (which is OK as it ultimately makes things quieter for me in the long run).  I was really upset about it when I first saw the work, but it is an appropriate distance from my property.  

Zero lot lines are just a terrible idea.  The idea being the wall of my house is the property line...no space to the side of the house.  It doesn't work..even with the best of neighbors...and I don't have the best!  He is OK but the fact that he could come over to the house multiple times when he wanted something for himself but never came by after he heard Ron died (my aunt told his wife) was kind of damning.  Just to say "I am sorry I heard about your husband".  #2 I didn't expect anything they don't know me.  And in fact I actually told them it was OK now for them to use my street parking as I didn't need it for the wheelchair van.  They have and I am fine with that; the way I see it, it provides security as it looks like someone is always home (they work even odder hours than I do so someone is always home).  It is almost like living in a townhouse but not as bad... almost, though.  But then I remind myself the house, on a nice lot, only cost us $60K when we bought it 20 years ago.  I feel like it was a good deal, it's paid off now I just have to pay property tax and insurance, thank you JESUS!  

I was so worried about that last year, even to the point of deciding which 2 cats would move to an apartment with me as no apartment in Houston would take 5.  I decided to take Baby Girl, as she is not super cuddly with strangers, and was Ron's cat - he would be very upset if I sent her to a shelter.  I also decided to take Cleo as she is somewhat feral and terrified of anyone but me, she would end up in a TNR program out on the streets with a daily feeding, no creature comforts anymore...and she's a cat who loves to sleep in the bed.  So I would have taken them (the other 3 are very friendly and would have gotten homes quick).  But what an awful thing to choose.  Glad I got to keep everyone.  

Head is feeling better.  Lemon pie + Diet Dew + Excedrin are a good headache fix but can make me a little jittery.  Doesn't matter, today.  

One thing I got yesterday, some more #3 pads.  Those are for "bigger" women and do a pretty good job on a basic flow.  I am having erratic cycles so I like to have a pad on board when I may be due.  Like the end of the month.  I may end up wearing it a few days I don't need it but the last thing I need is a heavy flow at work and no supplies...I mean I could go buy them but I would still have to deal with what had already come out.  So better to "waste" a few pads here and there.  It's not like I get a memo these days.  I had spotting, 10 days later more spotting, a couple weeks later a full blown cycle, been about 3 weeks, don't know if I am going to get a full cycle in a week or what.  But happily I have been able to obtain the #3 pads and then I carry a couple tampons in my pocket anyway.  

Eventually it will all be done and I am OK with that.  I have heard it is very hard to lose weight once cycles stop so I am not in a rush.  I would rather lose the weight first (goal is about 170) and then stop.  

Enough about my uterus.  I can smell the litter box, igh.  I am not up to cleaning it, and it isn't that bad... it's just pervasive.  I will clean it as soon as I feel better.  

But I don't plan on doing much today.  

Sunday night

 I did not sleep well last night but got up and went to work.  

Work was pretty busy.  

First bus to go home was late, then we picked up a manic guy shouting about immolating people, gutting people and eating them, shoving people through a glass window, etc. screaming all this at the top of his lungs.  I looked out the window and tried not to pay attention.  

If you have ever wondered why I pay for rides wonder no more.  He got off where I did but did not catch the same bus.  I decided to get off early, at the cell phone store, and set up my new debit card.  I did that, got a little takeout snack, and went to a grocery store where I got 3 bags of food for $20.  That's a good deal especially in these times, and I mainly got protein (meats).  I also got a jar of Jamaican curry I am not sure how that is different from regular curry, but it was only a dollar and change so I will find out.  

It took me about an hour to do all my business in the strip mall; then back to the bus stop.  The ground turkey chubs were pretty heavy.  I love ground turkey and you can't beat the price.  I can do a lot with that.  

The bus was right on time and I rode to my stop, got off, hauled all my crap the half mile home.  I put away the meat but had some problem with frozen chubs of meat falling out of the freezer at me.  So I took out the ice tray for the automatic ice maker, which isn't working anyway, and filled in the space with frozen meat.  Now about half the freezer is frozen meat which I think is ideal.  I also have some rotisserie chicken left in there too.  

So don't worry about my food budget, I make it stretch!  I also do a little shopping tomorrow after work before I come home.  

I also got some turkey sausage, mis cut bacon, and chorizo ($1.29) to go with my eggs I will have a meat lover's feast on my day off.  I hope the bacon works for me, I didn't look too close at it once I saw it was $2.47 for 12 ounces.  Worst case I can use it for flavoring beans.  

By that time it was about time to call my Dad, so I called him.  We talked a while.  After we hung up I had a glass of milk and a few cookies with my medication, I wasn't hungry after eating the takeout.  The takeout was not enough, on it's own, to hold my medication but the milk will be, I've done it before.  I need to get more milk, by the way.  It's on the list.  

I am debating buying washer tablets or just using vinegar.  I was told I could use 1/2 cup vinegar to clean the washer if I didn't have a tablet.  I have used the tablets pretty consistently since we bought the washer, though.  I'll tell you what I did tomorrow.  

The cats are good, fat and happy.  I have not seen Spotty but I am sure he's fine.  Probably out hunting.  It is supposed to rain tomorrow.  Another good reason to get a ride home.  

And I'm not kidding about that guy on the bus, he was mental.  

Sunday morning

 Too much caffeine yesterday, I slept horribly last night.  I did have some nice, plump, cuddly, cats in the bed, though.  

I am trying to figure out my budget so I can get the doors done, "make groceries", and pay for some rides.  I also need to turn on my ATM card today at the bank ATM.   

Speaking of banks my budget is about toast... I don't regret getting things to fix up Ron's room but I need to be frugal when I do my weekly shop this week.  The goal is to get supplies and stock up a little, even.  

One thing I will be doing: instead of buying a soda at work for $2.  For $4 I can buy six, and bring it in with me to drink before work.  That saves me $8 a week. 

I will figure out other things like that, to do.  One thing I do plan to do is cut back on using the credit card for snacks at work.  That was fun, credit card company freaked out when I logged on using a "new device" and had to do 2 step verification to prove it was me.  But if someone wants to pay my bill... let them!  

Both my boy cats got in my lap when I was trying to post and I had to stop and pet them of course.  They are pretty cute!  

Oh, and I also turned down the thermostat.  I wore some wool socks to bed last night so my feet weren't cold.  I didn't sleep but at least I was warm.  

I need to go...  

Saturday (I did it again)

 I slept OK, woke up tired because I only got about 6 hours.  Got up, shower, etc.  Checked my email before I left.  There is a charge for a Walmart in CA.  No, that is not happening.  I called my aunt as I was about to start work and had her kill the card.  

She called me back and said she had killed the card, but the bank said the charge was in Houston, and hadn't I had 2 charges at the Walmart that day?  One for my gas bill?  

[curses]  So that is twice in one year I killed a perfectly good debit card.  Feeling kind of stupid, but better safe than broke.  I was able to run by my bank after work and get a new one, then went back to work and bought a chair I had been eyeing for Ron's room.  

It matches the color almost perfectly.  It could also go in the orange room.  I like having options, and it fit OK in the cab.  He has an ample trunk!  It looks good with a nice pillow.  

By the way, I got those "cobalt" pillows they are a lot darker than the photo, more of a dark navy, but still work with my colors so I kept them.  

There is a toy mouse on the floor by the right front chair leg.  You're not seeing things.  I have a bowl of vinegar, sitting on a white towel, on the floor behind the chair.  It is supposed to help with fumes.  I just didn't want a bowl of vinegar on my new floor without a towel.  

I am really pleased I am finding the cats in there, they are playing, resting on the condo, scratching on the condo, etc.  It is a squeaky mouse so I hope it isn't too loud tonight.  

So that was my day.  I am going to bed early.  

The fumes are kicking my butt

 It got down in the 30's last night so I had the window shut.  Headache this morning, I managed to beat it back.  Good, as I need to work today.  Today I make about $72 if I can get to work; now I can.  I may take a cab, though.  

I didn't get the pillow covers last night but Amazon swears I will get them today.  I'm not worried; but if I like them I will get another 2 pack.  They are only $7 for 2.  I love decorative pillows.  

The cats are good.  I had Ron's feather quilt on the bed last night and they like sleeping on it, smells like Dad and is warm.  It does have a little whiff of him, I am not going to wash it just yet.  I only have a pillow and one blanket that might smell like him still.  I think that is important for the cats.  

I put the whole house fan on.  I think I will just need to run it nonstop for a few days.  I am not crazy about running up my electric bill but I need to get these fumes out.  I can't open the window at night as it is going to be in the 30's.  That's not doable.  But I'll get it.  The room does look great so no complaints there.  

It does make me rethink the last part of the job: painting the doors and hanging a new door to the room.  Old door is really bad.  It closes, and it kept the cats out of the wall, but that's about it.  Ron fixed it with duct tape.  But I am worried about more paint fumes!  But I need to get this done while I can... so I will figure it out.  

I had bought a packet of fragrance I could have had added to the paint, I am so glad I did not.  If I am having trouble with this I can only imagine what that fragrance would have done!  But I feel like I can work now.  

My phone decided to do a security update this morning, took it's sweet time, but is updated now.  And I am still logged into the work app so happy about that, I completed my screening questions.  I have to do that every day if I want to work.  I log in and out, submit time off requests, and check my schedule in the app.  The long term employees have an old school plastic time card.  I do not, I have the app, on my phone.  Eventually the company wants everyone to have the app and use that for time management.  It is pretty easy but can log me out at inconvenient times, and then I can have trouble logging in again due to shaking hands.  

That said when I was redoing my Google account password it was very long, letters, numbers, punctuation, all the good stuff I am supposed to have in a password, I was able to type that in on two cell phones pretty easily so I have faith I am getting better at all this.  As a rule I just do not text that much I would rather talk on the phone.  I do text on occasion with my aunt but my Dad, for instance, can't text back due to hand tremor.  So I will just send him a "no reply needed" text or photo.  

My head does feel better but I am a little groggy, and I know I got enough sleep.  I put on a timer when I go to bed and I got 9 hours, not counting waking up in the middle of the night for a drink of water.  

That's it for now.  

Thursday morning

 I could still smell paint fumes, so I cracked a couple of windows (with screens) before I went to bed.  Of course I wasn't going to say that until after I locked the windows but I was OK.  I slept alright, woke up depressed.  

Ron's room looks great but it isn't "his" anymore.  That is a little hard to see.  I had some trouble getting started on the project but didn't think depression would hit me now that I'm finishing it.  Yet here I am.  

I'll be OK.  I love turquoise so I'm glad I picked that color.  Cobalt and navy are good accent colors.  I found some velvet pillow covers for $8 for two, will fit the Walmart pillow forms I got yesterday on my discount ($6 each).  Like I said I am not moving the bed in there until they are done with the door and closet.  More room to work.  

But I did sweep it this morning, I like the way it looks...I wish I could have fixed it up when Ron was alive but he would never let me do it.  Even when we had money he wouldn't.  So I just left it awful.  

It doesn't look like a place where someone died, now.  And, happily, the weather forecast was correct.  It rained early this morning but it looks pretty dry now.  So I won't get drenched or have to cough up $$ for a dry ride to work.  

One bus driver keeps telling me I need to wear the safety vest the whole time I am out there riding the vest, not just in low visibility.  He is quite adamant about it and seems like an otherwise reasonable man so I will be doing that today.  The roads are slick so a longer stopping distance...

It will be easy to do up the candy at my table, now.  I need to get dressed.  That's it for now.  I will leave this open and may post a little more before I go to work.  

It was nice doing up the candy at a table instead of having it lined up on the floor.  Halloween is going to be very easy.  Checking the weather for the week ahead it looks like rain on Monday morning when I have to work...not crazy about paying for a ride but I might have to do it.  Bad enough out there in the dark but the rain as well is just going to SUCK.  But things may change I'll keep an eye on it.  

A few times this last year I was not watching the weather forecast and ran into problems on the way to work.  OK, NOW I'm done.  

Wednesday

 So let me get the boring part over with first: he came out, did the floor.  We have a few small things left to do.  But this is what I have now.  I moved some stuff into the room (table for candy bags, chest, trash can and lamp, but not a lot because we still have some work to do on closet and door to room).  

The cat condo I bought years ago but they didn't like where I put it.  They sure seem to like it now.  Floor looks a lot better than I expected.  "We" used almost all of it just a few planks left.  

I paid him, he left, my aunt came, checked it out, and then we went out to lunch and run errands.  I got it all done except Ikea but I did buy some 18 inch square pillow forms at Walmart; I can buy covers on Amazon.  I am not moving the bed in the room yet because they will need room to work on the closet and door.  It is fine in the orange room, leaning against the wall.  

He is very intuitive.  I have not been happy with the 6-way plug on the south wall for some time, I felt it was a fire hazard, he went ahead and pulled that when he was putting the outlet covers, but left the "good" 6-way on the east wall.  

I set up the candy operation on the table I bought today as you can see.  I will be bagging tomorrow morning!  Happily I WAS able to find individually wrapped hard candy so I bought a lot.  I feel like I have a good setup to bag candy quickly and efficiently.  I have a nice photo of Ron up there too.  

I'm happy.  That's it for now.  

PS paycheck was nice!  

Wednesday morning

 I slept OK last night and did not wake up ONCE.  I also slept over 10 hours which I guess I needed; did wake up with a headache.  Paint fumes, I am guessing, although I used this brand extensively 2 years ago with no problems.  Maybe they reformulated, or the amount of pigment in the paint (they put a lot as you can tell) affected it.  Or maybe I am just more sensitive.  At any rate I am glad this all happened after Ron died.  He had chemical sensitivity and would have been in hell.  

My Lemon Pie/Excedrin/Mountain Dew combo worked well.  I still have some tension and pain but it is bearable.  My hands are shaking, though, from the caffeine.  

Oh, I did my experiment with the lactose free milk and I am FINE I CAN DRINK IT.  So that is really good to know.  I love milk and basically lived on it my teenage years.  So I made a decaf cafe au lait this morning, the house smells nice, like coffee.  

I did my shower this morning.  The hot oil treatment on Monday was a bust, it did nothing for my hair in fact made it worse... so I am sticking with my 2 in 1 Garnier Fructis shampoo with a chaser of Fructis conditioner on the ponytail/ends part.  That makes for reasonably nice hair.  And it is easy to do.  I shower, rinse my hair, squeeze the water out, apply conditioner, put it up in a clip, bathe everything else, let it down and rinse it for 15 seconds.  Works great.  So I will keep doing that.  Happily the hair care stuff is affordable.  And easy.  

So I got out and figured I had forgotten to do the lye treatment on my bathtub drain this month, I had better go ahead and do that.  So I did, put on the rubber cleaning gloves (up the elbow) and poured about 1/3 bottle down the drain.  I also cleaned the toilet a little.  I didn't scrub it but put some solution in the bowl and used the scrubber, let that sit a while and then flushed it when I flushed the drain.  

I got dressed, bootcut jeans and a t-shirt.  I can move furniture in that, these will be my "yardwork" jeans.  I have plenty of regular jeans for work but have decided to use these for heavy labor type jobs, like today, moving the furniture.  Also gardening if I ever get back into that.  

Of course during the summer I can wear my trusty elastic waist shorts.  Those have been great for me, for years, during the summer.  Loose, comfortable, modest-ish.  I can wear them out in public without showing half a buttcheek like most of the shorts today.  

Even if I wanted that look it would not be good with me at an 18W.  I don't want to look "available" like I am looking for a man.  If there is going to be a man in my life I would rather he meet me looking like I normally do.  That way he would have reasonable expectations for the future.  Anyway, not looking for a guy.  

There was a guy at work who was very kind to me and helped me out of a bind on more than one occasion, when others would not, but I don't believe he is saved so that's a no-go.  And I am not interested.  I appreciate what he did, though, and I don't forget things like that but I don't have hopes.  Besides I really do not want to date at work.  I had a good result meeting Ron at work but I believe it can go wrong easily and turn very messy with me losing my job perhaps.  I don't want that.  I hate searching for a job a lot more than I hate being alone.  

And that is the good thing I am getting better at being alone.  I could use more love in my life, in general, but family love and a few work friendships are OK.  

So my guy showed up around 9 and is hard at work laying the flooring.  He agreed to hang the curtain and "do" the switchplate/outlet covers so I am happy.  It will look great, I'm sure.  The curtains are navy.  I will have either the bed, or the table, under the window so the cats can get up in the window to look out.  They really enjoyed doing that when Ron was alive.  His window offers a great view of the entire back yard.  I have a nice teal/turquoise chest I will put in there too, extra twin bedding will live there.  Once or twice my aunt didn't feel well when she came to visit and it would have been nice to offer her a place to lie down.  That's really the only use I envision unless a cat has an accident in my bed in the middle of the night and I just move beds so I can get my sleep without spending 2 hours doing laundry.  I don't plan on having overnight guests but it is nice to have the option.  I also plan to make a "nest" of pillows so I can hang out and read my tablet or whatever.  We will see.  It gives me more choices.  

Remember this room has been literally closed off from the house for nearly a year, so it's like getting a whole new room back.  I didn't tell the workers it's where Ron died I don't think that would be fair or kind.  And it's not their business, anyway.  It sure looks a lot better now.  I wish I could have fixed it up when he was alive but it would have been too much disruption, and with his problems he really needed the same routine every day.  Not having to move and all that entailed, the noise, etc.  Remember this?  It was horrendous and very traumatizing for us both.  So no, we never wanted to do any work when he was alive.  Doing the work meant "cleaning Ron out" for good so I was reluctant.  But I am glad I am doing it.  I think I will have fun with the room.  

My room is small enough that I can really only have the bed and dresser in there.  Orange room has exercise bike (candy operation will move to Ron's room).  So that takes up a lot.  I also plan to put a few kettlebells in there.  Ron's room can have candy operation and a reading nook, I envision.  

One thing I do like, my house has the same colors.  Some rooms have more of one color but all rooms have turquoise, purple, orange, some navy.  I like that, it is bright and cheerful in here.  Before it was all horrible bland beige.  Which is fine for some people but not me.  I don't plan to sell the house, I can go ahead and have bright colors.  I like that.  

I am dying to go peek but I don't want to bug him.  I will wait until he's done.  #6 has been doing work the last few days.  One thing was pouring more concrete around their driveway.  I guess her SUV is wider than the home builders envisioned when they built the subdivision.  Some kind of compressor going now;/ I really don't care but the cats probably ran out and now outside is scary, too.  I feel bad for that.  

I did coax them in the room last night with a few treats.  They were very hesitant.  Dad said probably because it didn't smell like Ron anymore which made me sad, but I didn't say anything.  But it just smells like paint in there now.  

That's it for now, plenty of photos later... dying to look!  Won't be a pest!  

I never told you...

 Ever since Ron's death I have been WRACKED by the knowledge that March 6 was a significant date for some other reason as well.  I thought it was a family birthday on Ron's side... but no way to check.  

Recently I finally put it together: that was the date of my first Bible Handout.  https://houstonheather.blogspot.com/2010/03/its-time-to-get-em-saved.html

What are the odds Ron would graduate on the day I did my first Bible Handout?  Interesting timing there, Lord.  

Not done yet

 But getting there.  The painter told me he really liked the color.  This is the first coat, no trim done yet... but it gives you an idea what I am doing.  

This is the wall that had all the drywall cut out... 

Thing around my neck is a cell phone holder.  

Very early Tuesday

 I guess I am excited about the work; I woke up at 1:30.  I go to sleep OK most nights and get what I would call a good quality of sleep, just not always the duration I would like.  Two work nights I made it a point to get over 9 hours of sleep each night and woke up exhausted.  I woke up today after about 5? hours and wide awake and ready to go.  I don't pretend to understand.  

I did take out the trash and do the litter boxes.  I am phasing in Tidy Cats as that seems to be more available and I am happy with the performance in the box.  It seems just as good as the Scoop Away or Fresh Step.  So I scooped all the waste, topped it off, and even added some of my Arm & Hammer litter box freshener (it is basically a baking soda with fragrance added, it does a good job on keeping the box fresh when company is coming).  Especially since I stored all the flooring in the orange room next to a litter box.  I don't want the guys gagging.  So that's all done.  I took it out (very quietly as it is 4 AM).  I have cold drinks in the fridge, I have cash available (for a tip) and the checkbook to pay them when they're done.  I don't want to take cash or equivalents out of the hidey hole in front of the guys.  They are good spots and I want to keep them private (my aunt knows).  

I will turn down the heat so they won't roast, doing the work, but have gotten the thermostat down to 75 and been OK with that.  Ron liked it around 80 for years (I think due to his anemia) so it is an adjustment.  But it will save me money, and, in the summer, I will keep it up around 80 so the AC isn't running all the time.  That worked fine last summer the bills were reasonable.  

I never got my electric bill this month.  I will need to set up an account but that can wait for next month (online I mean).  I asked my aunt to cover the bill out of the estate money which can definitely do that.  It is not hard to pay online, I have done it twice, I just don't have the account number as I don't have the bill!  Probably went to a neighbor and they threw it out.  Booo.  

The cats are good, they are sleeping.  I fed them and Biscuit just spent some time in my lap, purring.  I am a little cold so I will put on a hoodie, as I plan to turn the thermostat down even more.  It should be a nice day though.

Now it's Spotty's turn.  They are so cute.  That's it for now.  

Doing OK for Valentine's

 I did a hot oil treatment today but I made some mistakes.  Don't get me wrong, I am still oiled 😂 up so I don't know for certain... but I applied it to dry hair.  I washed out the henna with a lightweight conditioner last night - only the conditioner.  As I read... I do a lot of reading on this stuff.  

I don't do a lot of beauty stuff but if I DIY at home I read up on it first.  So my hair looked OK this morning.  I had read olive oil was very good for ends.  So I put some "expired" olive oil I found in the pantry (I have a small pantry but the bottle was hidden), in a glass container and nuked it slightly until barely warm, put it on my ends up about 2-3 inches.  My hair is over a foot long, down to my waist.  So I had plenty of hair left.  I applied it to dry hair.  

Then I melted some coconut oil I also had for cooking.  I had a little olive oil left so I mixed them and applied it.  Put my hair in a clip and under a shower cap.  

Later I read I should have washed my hair with shampoo first and then applied it to wet, clean, hair.  Oops.  But that sounds like a pain: wash my hair, apply oil (not an easy process) and then wash it again all in one day.  Not exactly my idea of a good time.  We will see how this goes.  I plan to wash it out around 7 PM.  We will see.  The plan is to look fantastic when my aunt takes photos on Wednesday.  It has worked pretty well, I did get a little oil leaking down my neck but I wore my "junk" t shirt.  

I don't like burgundy.  So I bought a package of t shirts some time back, it was a 4 pack and I liked the other colors.  But one was burgundy.  So I use it for messy things like cleaning, cooking, henna treatments, and of course the hot oil treatment.  It is surprisingly unstained.  

At some point we sell a 4 pack of men's tshirts at work, in gray.  I would like to get a pack but not right now, I have plenty of 2xl tshirts.  For now I have plenty of shirts that work, for work.  Not slutty (good high neckline, loose enough, longer hem), so good to wear around people on the bus, work, etc.  

I also cleaned the kitchen a little and found a way to keep ALL my appliances on the counter.  It looks a lot better, and room for meal prep.  I do want to make a curry this week, with lentils and diced potatoes.  Now I have room for that.  

I need to find my pot...I keep meaning to look but I'm not convenient to it whenever I think of it.  Up I go to look.  I found the pot; can't find the lid.  I will need to rethink do I need a 4 quart stock pot now that I live alone.  It's a nice open pot but my storage is pretty limited... if I don't want it I can just put it out at the curb and someone will take it.  We have a lot of trash pickers.  

Speaking of trash I cleaned up some old packets of oatmeal I forgot about, out of the lower cabinet (hard to access), took it out and WELL there is a trash can full of mulched leaves and grass clippings.  Would have been GREAT for compost but I don't have the energy for it today.  I don't think I can dispose of stuff like that so I put the kitchen trash bag on top and kind of spread it around so it only looks like 😃 "normal" bagged trash.  My trash pickup guys are pretty awesome, they have taken a ton of stuff the last few years, debris from the remodel, all the home care stuff (holding nose), and of course all the "Ron's dead and I don't want his stuff, stuff".  Like that mattress... I'm surprised it didn't bite them!  So I want to look out for them...

Anyway I do need to think about it.  If I make, say lentils, curry, something like that I will probably not want to make a huge amount.  My goal is to have mostly raw or cooked meat in the freezer with a few TV meals.  I don't want to put a lot of leftovers in the freezer, I don't have room; just meat.  

So that means I need to 1.  Eat up the pot pies and TV dinners and 2. Buy/store/cook more meat.  I won't have room for a big pot of leftovers, so I'm thinking a smaller pot is probably (I have a smaller pot) will be better.  And of course I would get sick of eating the same damned thing no matter how delicious it was.  

And if it isn't delicious I can eat a smaller amount.  I am still trying to figure out meals here even one year out...I want to do more cooking because it is cheaper.  And it is satisfying to cook a good meal.  

I am going to go check the mail shortly greased up hair, shower cap, and sweats.  Pretty obvious I don't have a date tonight!  The cats are good about sleeping with me though so I don't feel too deprived.  I just mainly miss - and this is what I miss the most, just being able to pick up my phone and call him anytime, and he was always happy to hear from me.  I miss that a lot.  

Not sorry he is in Heaven, out of his "Broken POS body" as he called it.  But I miss him.  

That's it for now.  

Monday morning

 Well my hair still smells pretty green but it looks good, I think.  It is a little garish today but will settle down in a day or so.  That's just how henna works.  

Some photos:  

First photo is me in 2014.  Eight years ago.  I did my whole head.  Bottom one is me this morning.  You can see the color is starting to come in.  I will post much better photos Wednesday when my aunt is here, and the color should be 100% by then.  

When I slept I slept OK last night but I woke up a couple of times, last time at 5.  I couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and did my Bible study, charged my tablet, did some laundry, went back to bed when I got tired.  I slept another hour or so and got up again, finished the laundry.  I just need to throw the white towels in the dryer and I am done.  I had a spill, some raspberry lemonade, a very lurid red color, all over my white tile floor, and used up a couple of towels mopping it.  Plus I had the henna towel (which came clean in the wash).  So I did that... now all done for a few days.  I have a lot less laundry than I did with Ron but still more than I honestly expected.  

One thing I like to do is have a towel in each "seating".  Chairs, loveseats, etc.  Because I lived with a guy who had some issues now and then, I wanted him to feel like it was OK to sit on the couch, he wouldn't "ruin" it, also cats who like the seating, and like puking in the seating...plus my uterus is winding down and I never know when I'm going to bleed these days.  All good reasons to have a towel.  So I bought a really nice $3 cobalt blue towel I plan to use in the chair, in Ron's room, when it's done.  That had to be washed, and while I was at it I did all the front room towels as well.  I don't want to sit on a dirty towel...So I had a load of those and the load of whites plus a load of regular clothes.  

I did get some laundry sanitizer yesterday and used a scoop with the clothes, because I ride the bus, often with people who are not bathing.  I work in a Walmart and exposed to everything.  So I would like that little extra boost.  At least during cold and flu season.  I don't want to bring something home on my clothes.  

The cats rely on me and I can't get sick.  I do wash my hands and change out of my clothes when I get home but not much more than that, aside from taking vitamins and all.  Trying to get enough sleep, hydrating, etc.  I get some exercise each time I take the bus walking.  I am active at work.  I bring intelligent, healthy, snacks.  God will protect me if it's His will but I'm going to be smart, too.  

Today I plan to maybe clean out the fridge and sit outside in the sun (promises to be nice, later).  It is a sunny day so I opened the blinds.  

That's it for now.    

Sunday; aka My Friday Night

 I just wake up tired every morning.  Is it my medication?  Am I malnourished?  Is it "just" depression?  I don't know.  Probably all of it.  I do know Ron's computer began yakking loudly about 2 AM for some reason, not really happy about that and PC is getting TURNED OFF every night.  If it yaks at me with no power I will move out!  Later on I woke up on my own, later yet I woke up again and Spotty was thrilled to see me, got on my chest for petting.  He likes a good scratch behind the ears, I discovered.  We had a good time.  But I woke up exhausted.  

It wasn't a bad day, though.  I got to work.  I was told the company will no longer require a mask for vaccinated employees starting "in a few weeks" and "All this" (waving his hand at the screening room) "Is going away too" so I guess I will just walk in the store like a regular customer now.  I do plan to keep wearing a mask, though.  I didn't get sick all year riding the bus AND working at Walmart, with pretty heavy customer contact, so I don't want to mess that up.  

I did my weekly shopping after work, I noticed some shortages but not in anything I wanted to buy.  I'd brought my reusable tote bags so it was very easy to bag them myself (I did self check).  I got a cab ride home, I had given him a general idea when I'd be done so he waited in the area.  

I got home and put away the perishables.  I had set up my henna before I left the house, I mixed some powdered henna with vinegar and boiling water to make a paste.  When I got home I squeezed some lemon juice into it and applied it to my hair.  I wore an old t-shirt and a poncho.  I made a mess but I got my ponytail pretty saturated.  Then I put the ponytail into a plastic bag and secured it with one of my hair elastics.  It has stayed on for several hours.  

Let me see if I can get you a photo.  Nope, you will get one Wednesday.  It takes a while for the color to age anyway (a couple days).  So my hair is draggy and I pulled it back so tight it gave me a headache, but it should be worth it.  And I will get better at this the more I do it, but I shouldn't need to do it again for another month or two.  It is only the ponytail not the actual head - although I found I did get some on other parts of my hair... but it dried out so it should affect me much.  And I had to wipe down pretty well with a wet washcloth as I had henna on my neck, arms, and hands, even with the gloves.  We will see.  

I plan to rinse my hair in about half an hour, apply conditioner, leave it a few minutes while I do a quick body scrub, and rinse it out... then leave it.  I plan to do a hot oil treatment maybe tomorrow or Tuesday after the work is done, not sure.  I have the oil.  Coconut and olive... some lavender essential oil as well that will make it nice... leave that under a shower cap (have that) for a few hours and then wash out.  My hair hopefully will look very nice on Wednesday for the photos.  

The nice thing about doing it this way I am not as pressured to redo it.  It doesn't matter if it has grown out a little before my next application, it's not around my face.  And henna just never looked good around my face but I loved it on the ponytail.  And one thing you can bet Walmart does not care what I do to my hair.  I have more than one coworker with pink hair, and 2 managers have unnatural streaks in their hair.  Walmart picks it's battles and has figured out hair/tats don't matter as long as we work hard, don't steal, and are good to the customers.  

So that was pretty much my day.  I bought a lunch bag that matches the tote bag I use daily (black and white, both of them).  I like it but it was $15 so having some doubts about it.  I will think about it a few days, I haven't cut any tags off and won't until I am 100% committed to owning it.  

That's it for now.. 

Well that wasn't much fun

 My computer just up and died.  That's what I get buying a used one.  I did some trouble shooting, yep, it's dead.  Then I had to decide what to do.  I hauled Ron's old computers (2) out of the garage and played "who is it?"  I knew one of them was a "good" computer with lots of RAM, good hard drive, etc.  Was running Windows 7 but maybe not a problem?  And it is right here so free.  

Plugged it in and it started talking to me.  😆  I knew how to shut it up, though.  So I did that and it works fine for my purposes.  I can blog, check email, Google account is intact (boy I set a new password you wouldn't believe) .  Glad that is all done.  

Still to do: setup the printer.  I just plugged it in, we will see what it does.  It is looking for a driver.  

Tomorrow I need to make up my henna paste, go to work, shop after work (while I have a ride), come home, apply the henna, wait a couple hours and rinse it out.  

{device driver installed successfully!]

Monday I will do a hot oil treatment, I have some coconut oil and olive oil, and let that sit for a while, rinse it out, wash.  It is suggested to wait a little while (a day or so) to wash after doing a henna in order to let it fully develop.  So we will see.  God knows my hair can use a hot oil treatment.  Then Wednesday my aunt said she'll trim it so then I am really done.  I can just wash it every day and put it in my ponytail.  

I didn't get much sleep last night (worked late, then got up early to work again) so I will say that's it for now.  I just didn't want you to worry.  

Thursday morning

 I took a Valerian root capsule and drank some Passionflower tea before I went to bed, I fell asleep OK and slept pretty well.  I woke up tired of course but I am used to that.  

I start work at 2:30 today so I have to go in earlier.  I don't know who makes my schedule but it can be interesting at times.  At least I am back to 2 weekday nights and 2 weekend days.  I have Monday off for some reason.  Maybe they figure the new widow will lose it at work on Valentine's day.  We never really celebrated that.  Neither does my aunt and she is over 40 years married, I believe.  Anniversary was a harder one.  My first birthday without him I found out he had Alzheimer's.  That was a shock.  It explains everything, though.  Ron would have been horrified to find out he had that.  In that aspect I'm glad we didn't know.  That would have been horrible for him.  Bad enough to slowly lose everything worse to know even worse is coming.  

I think he might have killed himself if he had known.  But he didn't, and it was natural.  God's timing on that, this way I got to keep the house and get it paid off.  

Insurance was great about paying at least from my experience.  My aunt had a horrible time getting the policy number and company name out of the mortgage company, I believe because they didn't want to lose all the interest they were getting.  Our credit was not great due to the accident, etc. so our credit scores were in the 500's.  We ended up with a fixed rate, which we wanted, but it was 9.2%.  It was such a hassle to qualify the first time Ron never wanted to refinance.  I didn't blame him.  It is hard proving income when you are self employed.  My credit is OK now and I get occasional credit card offers, but I have 2 and that is plenty: a low limit one I use for work snacks, and a higher limit one I will use for cat emergencies.  

My stomach feels better but I will baby it for a few days.   I am all ready to go.  

I may have some issues with a co worker I believe I will be blamed, by her, for "losing" something.  She did not listen to my suggestion and put it in a bad place.  So it got lost.  I will have to be firm without being blamed.  I do have text messages with me saying "Put it ___" so I am covered with management if it comes to that; and I doubt it will.  I will just tell her :"When I got to the location the next day it was gone".  But that is not a big issue.  

I bought some henna yesterday.  Now my hair takes henna really well but the color (orange/red) is not flattering next to my face.  So I plan to basically dye the ponytail on down.  It is permanent.  I don't have to worry about it growing out.  My aunt is going to help me with the first application and then I should be good from them on; I have plenty of gloves for her which is all I'd worry about.  I need to get some plastic bags so I can put my hair in one, after dyed, close it up and leave it a few hours.  She can do it "last thing" one day when she visits and then I can wash it out before bed.  I have an old towel I can put over the pillow or I can put on an ugly old pillow case I found in Ron's closet.  It should be fun.  The henna was cheap at the import store.  

It looks nice out but is cooler than I like so I will bring both jackets.  If I had a ride (car) each way I would just wear the hoodie but I have to stand out in the weather for a bit at that second bus stop.  I hate being cold just like I hate being hungry so I will bring the other jacket; it will fit in my bag if I get warm.  I need to call Jack and verify the ride for tonight.  But I will give it about a half hour or so.  

That's it for now.  

Day Out

 So my aunt came.  We went to look at tables.  The ones at Walmart seem a little flimsy.  I want something more rugged.  We plan to look at Ikea next week, maybe.  I got a few things, not much, more female supplies, a few things I had forgotten.  I also got some great cobalt blue plastic milk crates I can use to organize my table/desk.  I got 3 small black ones as well.  I can put the Scripture Booklets in them.  

We went to the import store next.  I used to go to an Indian import store on the bus or on paratransit with Ron, but back then (when times were better for a small business) the business was really struggling.  For instance, he would scratch out the sell by dates on his food.  Today it was a middle eastern import store but I figured (correctly) if Yemen, etc. was a big henna producer they liked henna in the Middle East as well.  And I was right, I found it almost immediately and the prices were 1/4 what I would have paid on Amazon.  I also got some curry powder, beans, and some cookies.  Then we went out to lunch.  After that the bakery.  It looked like they didn't have the cream puff things but she spotted them, they were actually making them as we watched.  So I got 3.  She got her concha.  

We came home and I put my stuff up, she had another look in Ron's room, and left.  My Dad is on the board of a charity and they are having a meeting tonight so I will talk to him later.  In the meantime I am doing a load of laundry.  I forgot to show my new leggings to my aunt today so I went ahead and washed them.  

I also had a problem with some jeans.  I had worn them outside in the rain last week and they got muddy on the cuff.  I washed them on normal, with my work vest.  I didn't want to overly agitate the work vest and ruin the embossed designs so I just did the normal cycle.  The mud did not wash out.  Normally my washer is very good.  So I think it was just the normal cycle wasn't enough for it.  This time I did not wash my vest (it is fine) and I did a soak, then washed it on heavy duty with 2 rinses.  That should do it.  

I also did up my pills for a week and a half (long story) and put tomorrow night's medication in my pill vial for tomorrow.  I have enough cash to pay for my rides, and some lunch money.  I need to bag up most of my chicken and freeze it tonight but I will do that after I talk to Dad.  I don't want the phone ringing when my hands are covered in chicken grease.  

I am still moderately queasy but I did get my medication on board and had a good lunch, most of a large chicken quesadilla.  

That's it for now.  

Wednesday morning

 I slept OK but woke up at 4 AM and then the headache.  Headache wasn't too bad.  Trick was getting some pain killer down without irritating my stomach, which actually feels OK this morning.  I took 2 pepto pills with it and that seems to have done the trick, headache is crawling off.  I used my aunt's cocktail of one Advil + one Tylenol.  We agree the "3 aspirin" trick didn't work at all.  

I think she would be OK with me relating she has very bad chronic migraines and controlling them is important to her.  She is seeing a doctor.  Mine, happily, aren't that bad.  She has a really excellent doctor.  

The upset stomach affected some of my plans, mainly my plans to eat the roast chicken (I plan to freeze most of it, now) and to try the lactose free milk.  I don't want to take a chance it hits me the next day at work, so I will wait until Sunday for that (I have Monday off).  The milk is good until April.  If it works for me it will open a lot of doors so excited for that.  I used to have a lack of appetite on the Prozac I was given in my teens (I had horrific, suicidal, depressions), weighed about 120 pounds at five foot seven, and drank buckets of milk every day.  The milk basically kept me alive and I have missed just having a glass now and then for a snack.  I would eat dinner every night so I got my nutrition there (not a big dinner).  You could say it is a good argument for intermittent fasting.  

I ate some rice last night and my weight went up 2 pounds this morning, water weight, I am sure.  But I did find I put a large handful of chopped kale in with the rice and it cooked up very nicely.  That is an EASY way to get some nutrition.  If you eat rice you might try that.  I like rice with some veggies in it.  That is one thing I do have, a rice pot.  

Appliances: rice pot, blender, coffee pot, toaster oven (good for making a small pack of biscuits which are also really good with milk), crock pot, and electric kettle.  The counter gets a little crowded!  Especially when you factor in the microwave and dish drainer on the right side of the sink.  I had a built in microwave but it burned up some years back, Ron had a microwave down at counter level so he could use it and it still works so no rush.  And I am OK with counters, cabinets, and sink.  If I did anything I might paint it.  I thought red but my aunt said "Oh Heather" in a pained voice so I guess not?  😂  I did leave the house to her in my will so she has to live with my choices.  The orange room is bad enough!  You can take down all the purple curtains in my room but that orange is there to stay!  

Of course the house is a mess.  I thought Ron's room was pretty empty until I got to the closet.  So that is all over the house now, plus the bedding and bed, bed frame.  I will be glad when the work is done and I can put everything back!  

I need to take a shower and do my God Time, get some laundry started.  I was wearing my jacket at work one day during the cold snap, went into the bathroom and brushed up against the tampon trash can while I was in there so that's an automatic wash, with the Lysol Laundry Sanitizer if I still have some.  That is the germiest substance in the whole bathroom.  I have been wearing these sweats a while too.  You get the idea.  So that is probably one load.  

My aunt will probably be here around 1-2 PM.  So I have time it is only 8:30.  I also need to debone and bag up the chicken.  I plan to make bone broth with the carcass.  Why throw it away if I can get some good broth off it?  God knows I can stand to get all the nutrition.  The roast chicken is a good deal, we got a lot of meals out of that.  Ron loved it and it was a great way to get him some protein.  He always loved eating chicken.  So I picked one up after work.  It is nice to be able to shop 1 day a week after work and pick up what's needed.  And I am sure my aunt feels better knowing that.  

That's it for now.