Thursday morning

 I took a Valerian root capsule and drank some Passionflower tea before I went to bed, I fell asleep OK and slept pretty well.  I woke up tired of course but I am used to that.  

I start work at 2:30 today so I have to go in earlier.  I don't know who makes my schedule but it can be interesting at times.  At least I am back to 2 weekday nights and 2 weekend days.  I have Monday off for some reason.  Maybe they figure the new widow will lose it at work on Valentine's day.  We never really celebrated that.  Neither does my aunt and she is over 40 years married, I believe.  Anniversary was a harder one.  My first birthday without him I found out he had Alzheimer's.  That was a shock.  It explains everything, though.  Ron would have been horrified to find out he had that.  In that aspect I'm glad we didn't know.  That would have been horrible for him.  Bad enough to slowly lose everything worse to know even worse is coming.  

I think he might have killed himself if he had known.  But he didn't, and it was natural.  God's timing on that, this way I got to keep the house and get it paid off.  

Insurance was great about paying at least from my experience.  My aunt had a horrible time getting the policy number and company name out of the mortgage company, I believe because they didn't want to lose all the interest they were getting.  Our credit was not great due to the accident, etc. so our credit scores were in the 500's.  We ended up with a fixed rate, which we wanted, but it was 9.2%.  It was such a hassle to qualify the first time Ron never wanted to refinance.  I didn't blame him.  It is hard proving income when you are self employed.  My credit is OK now and I get occasional credit card offers, but I have 2 and that is plenty: a low limit one I use for work snacks, and a higher limit one I will use for cat emergencies.  

My stomach feels better but I will baby it for a few days.   I am all ready to go.  

I may have some issues with a co worker I believe I will be blamed, by her, for "losing" something.  She did not listen to my suggestion and put it in a bad place.  So it got lost.  I will have to be firm without being blamed.  I do have text messages with me saying "Put it ___" so I am covered with management if it comes to that; and I doubt it will.  I will just tell her :"When I got to the location the next day it was gone".  But that is not a big issue.  

I bought some henna yesterday.  Now my hair takes henna really well but the color (orange/red) is not flattering next to my face.  So I plan to basically dye the ponytail on down.  It is permanent.  I don't have to worry about it growing out.  My aunt is going to help me with the first application and then I should be good from them on; I have plenty of gloves for her which is all I'd worry about.  I need to get some plastic bags so I can put my hair in one, after dyed, close it up and leave it a few hours.  She can do it "last thing" one day when she visits and then I can wash it out before bed.  I have an old towel I can put over the pillow or I can put on an ugly old pillow case I found in Ron's closet.  It should be fun.  The henna was cheap at the import store.  

It looks nice out but is cooler than I like so I will bring both jackets.  If I had a ride (car) each way I would just wear the hoodie but I have to stand out in the weather for a bit at that second bus stop.  I hate being cold just like I hate being hungry so I will bring the other jacket; it will fit in my bag if I get warm.  I need to call Jack and verify the ride for tonight.  But I will give it about a half hour or so.  

That's it for now.