"You're not missing a cat, are you?"

I am finally sleeping better.  Not great, but better.  I'll take it. 

I got up, drank my Diet Mountain Dew (I bought myself a 6 pack as a treat, the other day, it will last me almost a week) ate, and took my pills.  I got dressed, helped Ron, etc. 

We went to the warehouse.  So far, so good.  I started shopping.  I was in the back of the store, looking at potato chips, when I heard a loud voice talking up front.  It sounded like Ron, I couldn't hear the words but it was very loud.  Then a laugh - yes, it was him.  I called him and told him I could hear him in the back of the store. 

I kept shopping.  He was quiet for a minute or two but then started up again.  If I didn't know better, I'd say he was manic. 

I got everything finished, checked out, and paid.  I asked him if he wanted a muffin.  I had bought some to share with Jack.  I will buy boxes of pastry, cookies, etc, eat a few and share the rest with him.  He is always delighted to get them. 

Ron decided he would eat a muffin.  He ate it in a peculiar fashion, picking off small bits and putting them in his mouth.  He ate about 3/4 of it before he said he was done. 

At one point, he kept yelling the word "Vitamins" at me and I couldn't understand what he meant.  Then he explained, the vitamins I gave him with meals - did I want to give him some at that moment?  I said no. 

Jack came, I went out.  He started loading, the helper showed up, they got it done.  Ron got into the truck on his own (unlocked).  We headed to work.  In the course of the conversation, I asked him about his dog.  He has a pit bull who is his baby.  Now, pit bulls make me nervous but Jack is about the best owner you could find.  He even puts up his dog in a doggy hotel when he travels. 

Jack paused, an expression I'd never seen on his face.  "Heather, you're not missing a cat, are you?"  I told him no, I just saw all 3 before we left the house.  "Oh, good". 

He then explained, when he let his dog out into the fenced back yard, a cat - well, you can finish the equation.  Important to note the dog was confined to a back yard so NOT her fault.  "And it had a collar, so I worried it was one of yours".  Poor Jack. 

No, we were fine.  It is the cat owner's fault - if you let a cat run loose, it is liable to get hurt.  Cats are assholes, they go where they shouldn't and they LOVE to tease large dogs.  Sometimes that backfires.  Then you have wildlife out there and creeps in cars who think it is "funny" to run over a cat - not a chance I am willing to take anymore.  Love my catio - they go outside, and they are totally safe.  It wasn't cheap but worth every penny. 

I didn't say all that but he got the gist.  I told him we might have trouble at work with security, and he said he wasn't worried "They all know me".  Not to mention the truckbed full of vending supplies makes it pretty obvious...

We went in, and sure enough a police car pulled up nearby.  Jack wasn't worried.  I went and got the carts.  When I came back he said the officer had come over and talked to him, he explained what he was doing, and everything was fine.  He did say they had [gossiped] about us and the officer was baffled why Ron was back in the wheelchair. 

Jack was a little baffled - he has ONLY known Ron in the wheelchair.  I explained Ron used to get around pretty well (so well, at one point, I tried to get him to use a support cane only), but his back, and the surgery, put an end to that.  I also mentioned Ron is not having more surgery. 

Jack mentioned his wife is having cancer surgery next week.  Please pray for them.  He also said he WANTS to come help us next Saturday.  I am very honored. 

Ron is paying an alternate (he was doing this anyway) to come and assist next week anyway, if he likes the look of things maybe he can help us out and give Jack a break now and then.  I don't want him to feel obligated.  I want him to know he can cancel without sending the business into a tailspin. 

I started putting things away.  Ron had asked me to bring him a case of cold water.  I looked at the bottled vendor.  In addition to water, we needed at least two cases of Coke, and a Dr Pepper.  I went to the fridge and put away the warm drinks, took out the cold drinks, and put them on the cart Ron likes to use for stocking (we now have 5 carts).  I went back to our area. 

I must have just missed him.  Ron came back, struggling, with a case of water.  I asked him why he got it when he had just asked me to do it.  "No, I didn't ask you".  He was busy playing victim and being a martyr, and shouted at me. 

I put the cart where I always put it.  Since he was being thorny, I decided to focus on granola bars.  I sell 6 kinds of granola bars.  He started shouting at me, asking where I had put the cart.  I told him, where I always do. 

He kept asking me simple questions, ones he knew, and I kept answering him.  Now, I wasn't perfect, I'm never going to paint myself a halo, but I was mildly baffled more than anything else.  He got progressively more upset and started shouting at me, which set the tone for the rest of the day.  I was a bad communicator, he said.  I didn't tell him I already had a water on my cart.  I told him yes, I had, he just didn't listen.  He went off on hearing that.  Started calling me names but I tuned him out. 

That's one I'm glad I learned, turning off what someone is trying to say to me, when they're being abusive.  The word of the day was "retarded".  I heard that one dozens of times. 

And, in front of your customers!  SO unprofessional.  I focused on stocking, ignoring Ron's abuse, and doing a good job because that's what I am here to do. 

I also thought of things I could do for Mrs. Jack.  I want to do something nice for her.  She must be in a rough state of mind right about now.  I want to help; I will do something, just not sure what. 

Ron finally wound down and went off to sort change.  I helped him without being ugly.  I tried to be calm, logical, and professional in my behavior.  Ron responded by calling me retarded and illogical, a few times, because he didn't like the way I helped him. 

But we got it done. 

I asked him about the arrival time for our trip home.  He cursed me out and said we were taking a cab home.  He was sarcastic, abusive, and ugly.  I told him I had looked at the trip computer (there is an online feature to examine your paratransit trips), and was pretty sure we had a ride home some time after 12.  He blew me off. 

I went and did something productive for a while.  I was making enough noise (vending is often noisy work) that he came over and sheepishly told me we did have a ride home at 12:20. 

I thought "I can be ugly and throw it in his face, what about the cab, stupid?"  but I'm better than that.  I just said "Wow, you just saved $40 on the cab!  You can spend it on Baby Girl!"  I hoped the mention of Baby Girl would cheer him up.  It did not.  He was verbally abusive again and I finally walked away. 

One thing I have noted: Ron is never verbally abusive to me in front of certain people, my family, Jack, etc.  I would think "Oh, it's the head injury, he can't control it" but he can.  But he won't.  

Everyone likes me better now with the medication.  I couldn't control my emotions before, but I think I do a pretty good job now.  I take pride in that.  I would never knowingly just crap all over someone just because "I could".  That's not how I view myself.  I view myself as a mature, professional, seasoned, kind, empathetic, loving person.  Not a hateful and bitter person playing headgames. 

Anyway, I put everything away and we left.  Ron asked for help in a couple of ways I cheerfully did it every time, because that's who I am.  A loving person, who is not bitter or vengeful.  I use Jesus as my model.  I don't get special credit for any of this. 

I did what needed doing and got Ron outside.  Our ride came.  Ron immediately asked him to turn down the radio, which, to me, wasn't that loud.  The driver did so.  Then Ron asked for A/C even though the driver had the windows down.  It was only about 75 outside. 

But I think, in that case, Ron was worried about car sickness.  Later on when we got home he said he was upset he didn't have access to the motion sickness pills for the ride home.  I reminded him I had already given him one, and they were good all day.  He didn't remember. 

I'm noticing a theme here that bothers me.  I wish I could say it was the pain pills.  Maybe I can look it up after I hit the publish button.  I'll go look now. 

OK, I feel better.  Confusion and memory problems are common side effects. 

We got home.  Ron started up again, I was "illogical" and "retarded" and a "bad communicator".  I had "shouted" at him that he didn't listen.  I corrected him on that.  I said I would never yell at him, at work, and I had simply stated "I already told you it was on the cart, you didn't listen".  Cue martyr, head games, gaslighting.  He would "help" me "become more logical" or was I "really so retarded I couldn't communicate".  Etc.  I ignored it all, it was obvious he was trying to provoke a response.  I told him I was taking a nap and he shouted at me some more for about 10 minutes, had a couple of shots of vodka, and then went off to his room. 

I think y'all would notice if I couldn't convey a thought.  I wouldn't have so many hits.  I am certain I have at least some regulars.  I didn't tell him that because he would have threatened to cut off my internet.  If that ever happens I can do short posts from my phone. 

I laid down with Torbie and actually had a short nap.  I am still waiting on my coat to be delivered.  I hope it didn't get stolen.  There was a note on my tracking that they had "given it to male customer".  We all know Ron didn't get it.  Why would they just give a $100 package to a random stranger?  Hoping that was a mistake. 

Although if I see any plus sized people running around in a teal Lands End Jacket I'm going to confront them.  "How did Heather die?" 

I'll post from my phone if it comes today, it was supposed to.  I have a community mailbox so they may have put it in the locker, and then put the key in my box.  That's what they normally do.   But for Ron's coat they put it on the porch. 

Ron is asleep and happily not bothering me. 

Tomorrow I bag up 100 bags of candy with a scripture booklet.  Some will have New Testaments, for the older kids, in addition to the Scripture booklet.  Worst case they get thrown away.  That's on the kid. 

But a full sized Snickers bar does a lot of talking, let me tell you.