In your gut

I don't think I talk much about my health, as a general rule.  Exception: headaches.  I talk about them.  Other than that I feel I am pretty healthy.  I only had one cold this year, and that after all the stress of Ron in the hospital. 

But, years ago, before my diagnosis, I had a lot of abdominal pain.  I would have weird menstrual abnormalities.  I still wonder if I miscarried a couple of times, the symptoms fit.  Plus the headaches. 

I used to go to the ER in wracking abdominal pain, convinced something was wrong that was going to kill me.  I was right.  I did have a condition that wanted to kill me (25% of bipolars kill themselves).  It just wasn't in my gut.  I had to go up a couple feet to my head. 

Finally got a diagnosis in 2006.  But no doctor for months (thanks again to my aunt for finding one, she makes up for all the BS I endured as a child).  So I had a diagnosis but no doctor or medication.  What I did have was time to do research. 

I found out my mother did well on lithium.  That's important, because if one family member does well on lithium the rest will, too. 

I found out that lithium had a lot of reputed digestive troubles, but I was desperate and was willing to endure a lot to get stable.  That was my primary goal, get stable. 

It takes 4 lithium a day (more than the regular dose) but I do OK.  Consider how I am right now with my passed out husband on the floor next to his wheelchair.  Doing OK. 

But I noticed something interesting, as I got my illness under control, my digestive troubles got a lot better.  The mind is definitely linked to the gut, at least mine. 

I have had a lot of pressure lately with Ron, work stress, trying to get him to take care of himself.  I buy him protein shakes, a flavor I know he loves, they languish in the fridge and he buys a case of chips to eat, instead.  Work stress, we have the conference coming up and I have to make sure Ron is presentable and his pain under control.  Managing Ron's pain, that's a job in itself.  Lots of caregiver stresses plus the usual stresses of trying to run a good home. 

The migraine right after my birthday did not help.  I was vomiting for days and severely queasy for days after that.  The minute I got any sort of appetite, I shoved a cheeseburger down my gullet and took 4 lithium, a depakote, and a haldol. 

Quite a shock to the system.  It took me about a week after that to get over the nausea but my gut was wrecked.  My meds are hard on digestion, but I don't normally experience that. 

I am still experiencing difficulties.  I have some yogurt so I will eat that, but I think I need to get some quality probiotics from Swanson and take those for a while.  Build up a good biome, I think they call it.  Let me look it up. 

Yeah, I got it right.  If I have a good colony of bacteria I will be able to process my food better.  I can't go on like this, especially if I am travelling.  Maybe some fiber pills?  I don't know.  I think I have some fiber pills running around here somewhere.  I did have a problem taking those with my medication, they interfered with absorption, but I can take them later. 

I have got to take good care of myself because no one else is going to do it for me. 

Thank God those days of wracking abdominal cramps are gone for good.  Unless I take a glucosamine.  That was brutal.