Severe Weather

Yesterday, Ron heard a forecast and decided he didn't want to go to Walmart early. "Severe Weather".

He made an early afternoon trip, and I agreed. We both needed a few things.

Our ride came during the middle of a cannibal mutant movie. I got out to the cab first; for a guy who's always complaining about being on time, he takes forever getting out to the vehicle.

By the time he came out, the cab driver and I were talking. Interrupting, he tried to get the driver's attention, but she was very interested in my description of bipolar disorder. By the time we got out of the cab, he was in full-on pout mode.

He put on his headphones, ignoring me. He said he didn't want to talk. Fine. Then he put on a very dramatic show of "I'm so tragic", drooping dramatically, heavy sighs, and putting his head down on the cart - which he knows freaks out the other shoppers. Sure enough, I had concerned people grabbing my arm and telling me I had to "Help" him. I also got a lot of "Is he OK?"'s [rolleyes] Nothing was wrong with him - except he hadn't been the focus of attention.

I know he can be narcissistic but this took the cake. I asked him about his requests and he kept snapping that he didn't want anything. Well, he had a whole list the last time I checked. I got the trash bags, cat food, etc. I got my soda and some breakfast sausage. He was busy being "pathetic" - one lady was yelling "Are you OK?" - he finally stopped after that. Personally, I find that a VERY cheap trick.

I don't mind the staring when I'm properly medicated, I expect it. I've got an adult in something most people view as a kiddie cart. I've got a blind adult. I've got a blind adult making a dramatic show of his unhappiness. I just wanted to do some eyerolling - I was embarrassed he was acting so childish.

I didn't do the expected fawning, apologizing, and butt-kissing - I get sick of childish head games. Because I didn't "play" he decided to "punish" me by calling an old girlfriend.

She is extremely emotionally needy - one of those emotional vampires you read about in Dear Abby. I used to get very upset when I first moved in with Ron, because she would call him and talk to him for 2 hours at a time, and then when he hung up he'd go to bed. He would literally come home, eat, call her or she'd call him, talk talk talk, and then go to bed. What about focusing me? I'm right here. No, he has done that quite a bit over the years - invest all his energy and attention into phone calls while I begged for a scrap of attention. And I LET him!

I knew he wanted me to do that again, so I ignored him. Also, I should add, he was "involved" with her when he met me. As far as I knew, he was single, but when he realized we might have potential - according to him - he broke it off. However you cut it, he LIED to me about his involvement with her. I would not have dated a guy who dumped someone else for me. That's just trashy, cheap, and nasty.

She was rightly outraged and really gave me the cold shoulder at first - which I completely understand. Once she adjusted (and really, losing a cheater is not much of a loss) she was very kind to me. She still had these long, drawn out, intense phone calls with him. It used to bother me lot; very much "shoemakers' children" - Ron was the best listener and the most attentive guy ever, except with me. It must be MY fault... if I were "better". [shrug] You get the idea.

So, when Ron called her, while we shopped, it was a deliberate act of emotional warfare. I understood that. I asked him if he wanted a fruit cup. He said YES. I guess he did want something after all. I went to the deli and got some dinner (sausage on a stick). He snapped at me and said I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

Fine. I ignored him as I did all my shopping and parked him over by the checkout. I read a celebrity gossip magazine - instead of going "Ron, Ron, we need to check out!" "I SAID leave me alone!"' --- ooooh! Two women competing for his attention. I knew he wanted me to do that. I ignored him - making the best of a stupid situation.

Instead, I completely ignored him. I realized we had a time issue, and HAD to check out so I pulled the cart into the line and loaded up my stuff. I paid for it. Suddenly, Ron says "Oh, I need to hang up, Heather won't pay for my stuff". He must have been paying attention after all. I agreed. I paid with his debit card and then parked him and left him where he was while I went to McDonalds. I got myself a burger and a drink, and something for the driver.

I walk over to the cart and start rearranging things, putting them in my shopping tote. Ron says he wants a drink. I offer him the cold soda, and he says no. "You said you didn't want anything - I believed you." We both know there's not enough time to get BACK in line.

I was very matter of fact. I knew I was supposed to be angry. I accepted your statement, you can't have it both ways. Either you want something, or you don't. If you don't, then don't whine at me later because I didn't get you something. If you wanted something, you could have told me.

I am really, really, sick of childish head games. The next time we go shopping, I will tell him it's too much work to take him along, and leave him on the bench. He can fend off the overly chatty greeter and deal with all the "Are you alright" comments on his own, when he does his whole "tragic" routine.

We have WONDERFUL lives; it's a shame he can't "see" that.

Some people may wonder why I'm so "devout" - this is a good example. Humans let me down. Humans care more about themselves than they do about others. Humans have consistently FAILED me.

God? Never let me down. He tells me to love the other Humans so I do, to the best of my ability, but that doesn't mean I have to play their stupid litle games when they feel neglected and want to put on a show.