Crazy people shouldn't have kids

I've spent days ranting on a news website. I keep saying the same thing: "I'm crazy, and crazy people shouldn't have kids!" I am sure people think I am horrible, mean, and "UnAmerican".

A little background: I just ate, and took my pills, These acts will ensure a few hours of horrible nausea. I will endure it. I will endure it with good cheer because I'm not sick. Oh, goody. Here comes Mr Headache.

I have signed up to manage this illness, and I'm going to make it look easy if it kills me. I'm going to remind people that we're wonderful people if we take our pills and don't drink. I will talk about hallucinations, delusions, and all the rest. One thing I don't discuss is how much pain this illness causes.

I hear how well I'm doing, and point a finger at the "No Alcohol" rule. I also talk about taking my medication regularly and sucking up all the miserable side effects with good cheer. Why drag everyone down?

As a toddler, I watched my mother battle the demons in her head. It was an ongoing, bloody battle for her. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after 45 years of pain, and decades of alcohol. Her illness was not well managed, I believe, due to the alcohol. When she was found dead on the floor, everyone was shocked she died of a heart attack. They all thought it was suicide.

Let me tell you, it was horrible for me, crying endlessly in my crib, pleading with my mother to come and care for me. I remember dreading her appearance sometimes, unusually giddy and reeking of alcohol. I remember following her like a small, sad, shadow, as she drowned in depression, begging for scraps of attention.

Living life as a child of bipolar disorder taught me something - it is extremely painful for the child. I will never subject a child to the torment I endured. Also, in my family, there's a very strong genetic component. I would never want to pass on my illness to a helpless child. I began hallucinating at age 3. I began having delusions at age 5. When I try to talk about this with family, they get very stiff and defensive. They want it to be anything but what it is - the truth.

So, I'd never have a child because it's cruel to subject a child to a mentally ill parent. I've been there!

I'd never have a child because I wouldn't want to pass on this illness. If I could hunt it down and exterminate it, I would. I can only say I won't be passing it on.

I will never have a child because I would be a terrible mother. When I'm depressed, things are as hard for me as they were for my mother. What a horrible thing to put on a child, "Mommy's sick".

Add to that, the fact that many bipolar women end up with postpartum psychosis - that's a clincher for me. I would love to think I could never harm a child, but I know the truth. When I'm ill, it's entirely possible.

A woman in the Houston area, recently murdered her child. It was a horrible murder. She then lied and concocted a story about a kidnapper. Truth is, she did it, then lied about it and attempted to conceal the crime. Was she truly psychotic? Is the bipolar disorder a mitigating factor? Should we give her "The Needle", or a pat on the head? We've had a lot of debate, locally, on the subject, and I've been in the thick of it.

The truth is, we shouldn't have kids. If we have a severe mental illness, the stress of childbirth and childcare is only going to aggravate it. We won't even be able to breastfeed, if we're taking our pills. Odds are, the medications may cause severe birth defects, and we shouldn't get pregnant in the first place.

The fact that our local killer spent several weeks in the COUNTY hospital, after the birth of her first child, should have been a red flag to the husband and family. I don't understand how the husbands of mentally ill women can delude themselves into thinking things will be fine if she had another one.

We shouldn't have kids. It's simply not fair to the children. When someone with bipolar disorder snaps and commits a horrible atrocity, it makes the rest of us, the responsible ones, look bad. Thanks a lot.

Personally, I hope she never walks in the sunlight again. I hope she spends the rest of a long, long, life in prison, in isolation, because we know what they do to baby killers, in prison.

I have two, bipolar family members, with children. One is having a crisis; I'm sure the child is suffering. In the other, the child has had to assist/counsel the parent during the bad times. That's not fair for either of those children.

We shouldn't have kids!