Sunday afternoon

 I have been trying to take it easy today and in some ways done a good job.  I got a good nap (thumbs up).  I woke up with a headache (thumbs down).  After the Excedrin had kicked in Ron asked for help.  Ay yi yi to quote something he said a lot after the accident.  "You can put it in the blog" he told me proudly, but YOU are not ready for it.  I did put it in my care journal.  

Yes, I signed up for this.  

I found out Ron's mother also used Spic and Span spray cleaner, during the subsequent cleanup.  I found that very interesting.  But I have the tools I need and that's what matters.  So he is back in a pristine bed and I have the other bedding on soak.  I run a soak cycle (one hour) with washing soda and Tide, and then a regular cycle with more Tide and some bleach (it was a bleach job).  

But: how nice to have the extra sheet, the rubber sheet, the paper towels and spray cleaner, trash bags to take away the waste, wet wipes, no-rinse body bath and my little bucket with a washcloth, etc.  I have a system and it works pretty well.  And of course running water, soap, washer, and electricity.  That makes my job a million times easier.  

This does not happen that often and I did log it in case it does develop.  Doesn't seem to be a side effect of either prescription so that's good. 

So I am done with that I don't brood about things like that I try to focus on the positive, like the fact it was not hard to clean up.  

Ron,and I cannot emphasize this enough, is EXTREMELY appreciative and grateful for everything I do for him, even bringing him a bottle of Coke.  He thanks me profusely every time I empty the urinals, for instance.  I can't break confidentiality from my caregiver group but that is apparently not common.  

So I value that.  And I tell him that, how is he going to know what I like, what keeps me here, if I don't tell him?  

I think it helped we had a pretty good base (11 years of him in good shape) before the accident.  And I always expected I would have to help him one day.  

So I just read a statistic, unpaid caregivers have really high rates of suicidal ideation.  That is scary and explains all the concern I got from the social worker, I could tell she was concerned I may be overwhelmed.  

I am tired and sleep deprived today but not suicidal.  I haven't been suicidal in a very long time.  

I just need to figure out if I want to wash my sheets today as well.  I need to mop as well but I'm not up for that, it can wait until Tuesday (nothing major just overall needs it).  Litter boxes are good.  

Yeah, I think I will go ahead and do my sheets.  I am taking my shower tonight so I don't have to do it in the morning.  Then in the morning I will get up, pill time, and care for Ron before I head to work.  I like being able to arrange a ride when I am ready.  Sometimes he needs something at the last minute.  

Dinner?  God knows.  I want to get some fiber into Ron today.  He already agreed to eat some beans.  

That's it for now.