Well, it's been an interesting day. Ron does the whole "yelling in his sleep" thing now and then and did it last night, and today during my nap. I had to get up but I was working on a headache anyway. I finally told him "Shout all you want for the next several hours, just let me sleep when I go to bed" and he said OK and hasn't made a peep.
Oh, well, most nights I get enough sleep. But at the end of this it's going to be the sleep deprivation gets him in a home. I'm not stupid, I can't take care of him forever. And I doubt the taxpayers are going to foot three, eight hour shifts a day. I could take him for one shift but I would need help with the other 2 so I could work and sleep.
Anyway, the way things are going now I think we will all get raptured pretty quick. Huh, spell checker doesn't like raptured. HEATHEN spell check!! I almost typed out my name there - instead of heathen. It is really hard for me to type that word!
I am still hitting that enter key, twice, too. If I were a real prepper I would have another keyboard because I am always typing away on this one.
Oh, Rapture ready. I was very active on their board many years ago. Here is a basic link. I really think, the way things are going, the rapture is imminent which means one day, at the very least, I will suddenly stop posting at the same time millions worldwide disappear. I have heard "they" will take down the internet for a while and use bots to scrub all reference to the rapture so look for that as well - although that is not in the Bible, it makes sense. Which means my blog will go, too.
The Bible refers to "The Wedding Supper of the Lamb" which is, to my understanding, a massive, seven year party for the believers, dead and alive, until the final battle. So I won't be hurting and Ron finally gets to see who he married.
But if you are a believer we will certainly meet again, all the bullies and the stalker will be unmasked (something to think about, there are no secrets with God). Hopefully I will meet at least one person who was encouraged by me. I will honestly be happy if I had a role in one person getting to heaven. Not even all the credit, just some.
Anyway, I think that is coming RAPIDLY and has pretty much laid aside long term fears I have about Ron's care. I am thinking more what needs to happen the next couple months vs. years because I really think we're about done.
I mean, people on Rapture ready were swearing we were "about done" when 9/11 hit and look at everything that has happened since. It's been an insane year and seems very accelerated from a Biblical standpoint.
Of course that's just my view, you are welcome to your own. I just present my beliefs. It is up to you.
I remember my anguish with John. He was a good friend in elementary school and wanted to take it to a love relationship in junior high. He was conventionally very good-looking but I never cared about that - I dated one guy with a cleft lip and he was just so impressed that it didn't matter.
Anyway John grew up in the "We believe in a God and may go to church on occasion but that is it". Youth group for the teens, where a salvation message was never preached, it being CA and all, etc.
I became born again at a Baptist VBS when I was 8. I wish I remembered the day or someone had told me to write it down. Obviously it was in the summer. Sometime in the 80's. A school acquaintance invited me, I know she will be happy to hear that invitation led to my salvation, one day. I did not tell her I was very shy about it at first.
So salvation was important to me, my parents took us to the Presbyterian church which I still like a lot of aspects, like giving me a very nice Bible when I was 8. But they were, at least the ones I attended, TERRIBLE with evangelism. They would let people spiritually die right there in the foyer. Never a salvation message preached. Never. God had to send me to the Baptists.
I would flip over to the Baptists but to my understanding they do not believe in a pre tribulation rapture which is a deal breaker for me. So I figured my parents were OK (it never dawned on me to think about my birth mom, one thing I did fail to do was pray regularly for her salvation. She still got saved but I have no part in that). And John. We were pretty close, I cared about him but I did not love him. He lacked maturity.
John's uncle died of AIDS and he got to thinking about eternity and I begged him to get saved, he blew me off. Later on I realized some people are not getting saved, and not everyone is going to leap the way I did when offered the chance... but that was a while coming.
John, in fact, later became a practicing pagan and last I heard was quite into it. He also supported late term abortion which I found abhorrent. He was adopted, you would think an adopted child of all people would empathize with the fetus. I ended up blocking him on Facebook, someone I have known for over 30 years, it got that bad - he is as far left as you can go and I am pretty far right.
Clearly I love all races as I married a man of many races, I think women are equal to men, etc. So not the barefoot in the kitchen keep "themfolk" away from us, right-winger but I am very conservative. I would much rather see a baby adopted, and even the disabled, mixed race, etc. find homes there are desperate families out there who would love that baby with all their hearts.
I fell in love with one baby online. The State of Texas had a registry of ready to adopt children with basic information and pictures. They had a little blind toddler, mixed race, so adorable. Oh, I wanted him. But I am not meant for that. Not yet. I absolutely believe God has a huge family for me in Heaven one day. Had things been different (Ron and I more suitable) I would have snatched him up.
Abortion is a hard thing. I don't think it's a good choice but it is up to the woman, and that's where I piss off both sides. I won't condemn a woman who had one. That is between her and God. My job is to love everyone I meet, to shower them with God's love, pray the hell out of them, help them if possible, and give them a Bible.
It is NOT my place to point the finger. I believe someone close to me had an abortion. It was a big secret. If she did that's her business. The sad thing though a lot of those prenatal tests are wrong, they tell you the baby has Down's or a mutant in some way, and then abortion and it was a totally healthy child. That is beyond tragic.
I have thought on this now and then: I don't use birth control. I never have, Ron was fixed. I had what I believe to be 3 miscarriages over the years but they were all "early". What would I have done if I did know I was pregnant? I can't say. And what if I got raped? Because I don't use birth control. That is a hard call. I would like to think I would do an open adoption with someone nearby. But who knows?
This would make it really fun: I'd have to go off my medication. That would be hell on earth right there. I do know this, if Ron dies before the rapture I am getting sterilized because I can't take a chance.
And Ron just made his vodka order, a lot, but he will drink it. He has some stuff, the watermelon rum in particular, he loathes and will only drink as a last resort. I am actually OK with him stashing a little as he is obviously chemically dependent and we believe he had one seizure because he didn't drink "enough" for a period of time.
And for me the hits have just kept up this year. I am in pretty good health other than the skipped period and some other precursors of menopause (I have had normal cycles since the skip). I got off the Black Cohosh as my menopause group said it was BAD with antidepressants. I ordered more of the other herbs which are very affordable. Ron is taking his vitamin every day (except yesterday, when he was queasy), so I feel really good about his nutrition.
In case you are curious he is taking a multi with iron, one tablet. Occasionally he also takes an E capsule if he is feeling open to it. Ideally I would also have him take calcium, magnesium, zinc, and some extra D and C.
But I will settle for just the multi. He had it with some dirty rice today. It is good but I can taste the MSG. So that's a no-fly for me.
I had a lot of broth powders that have MSG. I can't use them but I can make Ron some good rice with it. I used some bone broth to make rice one day when I was manic and queasy, that was some very good rice and no headache.
I don't know what I am going for dinner, I have lots of "ingredients" so I am not out of food by any stretch, just what do I want to fix? I am thinking a protein shake. That agrees with my medication, or some cold cereal or even a cold glass of milk and some oatmeal, which actually sounds best of all. And I know that will work with my pills.
I will wait until Arturo comes as I use an electric kettle to heat the water for that and I don't want him coming with the thing on.
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